Monday, January 31, 2011

Mail Bag - Getting Your Profile Noticed

DauntlessD again. Recently our lovely Kat was asked for some advice. A smart, dashing, articulate gentleman in his early 30s wanted to know how to make his on-line profile or ad as attractive as possible. How do I know he is smart, dashing and articulate? Well, upon reading his email I immediately felt a kinship and thought, "Hey, he's like me!" For this topic I am going to speak to Ashley Madison because it is what I am most familiar with; however, the same principles should apply nearly anywhere.

What is that? Do I hear some grumbling? Stuff like: Who is this guy? Isn't this the guy that wrote that post about "Nice Guys"? He didn't sound like all that! What does he know?!

To the naysayers all I can say is this: I lured our very own precious Prowling Kat to me with my profile. So take what I offer or leave it. It is up to you.

On Ashley Madison they have three sections with a slew of check-boxes, "Preferences and encounters I am open to", "What really turns me on" and "What I am looking for". In truth these headers are meaningless. When scanning profiles people do not even pay attention to them. This is also true of the check-boxes. I recommend leaving them all unchecked or only checking a couple on each section. Why? Because we want to emphasize the free form text areas where we can show our personality.

Rule #1: Be fun and playful! Do this through your whole profile. Most of us on the prowl out there want a little escape, don't you? Try something like this in the first section:
Holy cow that's a lot of check-boxes! Whew, I feel a little woozy. I'd better sit down and digest this for a moment. Now wait a darn minute! They don't have the check-box I want! Where's "Likes electrified heart melting passionate kisses"?!

Rule #2: Qualify. Show that you have standards that not just any woman will do.
What really turns me on... I like bright women, women I can talk to. Being playful is so much more fun with a little light banter, even if it's non-sexual.

Rule #3: Be yourself. Show your personality (in a gentlemanly fashion).
What I am looking for... Oh wow. That alive feeling of being out of breath with my heart pounding after that first kiss. How I can't help but smile at how cute your neck looks when your hair is tucked behind your ear. The euphoria of slow foreplay.

Rule #4: Have a photo. Something preferably a bit stylish that maybe looks like a postcard, like one that shows your back as you look off the bow of a boat. Prowling you likely do not want to show your face but that is okay, just have a photo. Use every little edge you can to get yourself noticed.

Rule #5: Highlight kissing in several areas of your profile. Intimacy always starts with a kiss and women love a good kisser.

All through your profile remember to spin everything positive. Do not say, "Weekends are off limits." Say, "Weekdays are best for me." Also, do not set the tone like you are speaking to an audience; avoid the term "ladies". Make it sound like you are speaking to the very woman you are looking for. You can see this in the above line, "How I can't help but smile at how cute your neck looks when your hair is tucked behind your ear."

Once again I need to give credit where credit is due. Many of the ideas above came from the infamous RiffDog. Read his post, Ashley and Me: A Sample Profile, for more ideas.

Breaking My Own Rules?

As you know, fellow Prowlers, I have my own set of rules for my extramarital activities. Basically, I like a semblance of order in my life, and these rules help me maintain some control in an area of my life that can quickly and easily fly out of control.

I got a DM on Twitter yesterday, followed by some email and a couple of photos, from a rather intriguing man. He said a couple of things that instantly grabbed my attention and separated him from the hundreds of other random DMs and emails I get, most of which use the worst pickup lines imaginable. No, I'm not going to tell you what he said that got me wet...uh...I mean...got my attention. You'll have to expend a little of your own creative effort.

Anyway, his DMs made me smile.  I replied.  His response made me chuckle.  Back and forth it went briefly a few times. Good clean fun.  Well, maybe not squeaky clean, but clean enough. Then the photos came.  Nice, very nice.

Then it materialized.  One word. One simple word that made me start to wonder if I would ever get to run my hands along those strong broad shoulders and feel those lips sucking on my clit until I screamed. One word that smacked me back into reality.

What single word is powerful enough to do that, you ask?

"Divorced."

Nooooooooooooo.

Rule number 1:  Married men only. Non-negotiable. Too much can go wrong with single men.  Non-negotiable. They don't have as much to lose in the relationship. Non-negotiable.  It throws off the whole power balance.  Non-negotiable.

But this one is so cute.  Maybe?  And smart and creative. Maybe. And I already want to straddle him and ride him hard even though I just barely learned about his existence.  How often does that happen?  Maybe.

No.  If I break the rules for this one, the flood gates will open and I'll end up making a mistake and getting caught, and then I lose my family.  No way.  Non-negotiable.

I'm sure he's reading this right now, and he's thinking I'm a crazy woman for vacillating so much on this issue.  I'm sure he understands how critical it is.  He was married once, right?  Sure he understands, but he's going to want a definitive answer from me so he doesn't waste his time.

So here it is....

They're my rules.  I can break them if I want.  ;-)

Maybe.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Top 5 Most Popular Posts for This Week

Well, Prowlers, another week is over and another is beginning (depending on where you are in the world).  I thought I'd re-cap this week's most popular posts for you, just in case you missed any of them. 

  1. Does Size Matter?
  2. Finding Free Porn Online
  3. Nice-Guys are *NOT* Attractive
  4. 10 Things That Really Turn Me On
  5. Kat's Naughty Blog Recommendations
And there's one more you really need to read that was just posted yesterday:

Real Advice from an Experienced Prowler-Sadist:  Meet Chimpernel

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Real Advice from an Experienced Prowler-Sadist: Meet Chimpernel (Guest Post)

Well, fellow Prowlers, you know I'm not the only prowler out there.  We come in all types, and today's guest post is from someone I'm sure you'll enjoy. I found him on Twitter (Chimpernel), and he has some excellent (and naughty) thoughts and advice for you prowlers and prowlers-to-be. I'm sure we'll be hearing more from him.

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Hello, a guest post from old Chimpernel eh? Well, who is this charming rogue? Contextually, I’m a white, mostly-hetero Englishman, indeterminably aged somewhere between thirty-five and forty-five. I’m married with one daughter. I drink, smoke and have been known to indulge in bullshit and outright lying. I’m a pervert, scope yet to be fully defined. But what does that encompass? Well, I’m a sadist; I like to cause pain during sex. I’m a “top” which means I’m typically the more active partner during sex. I’m slightly dominant, which means I’m comfortable with taking the lead and occasionally enforcing my wishes. I’m slightly bisexual, which means I’m comfortable with the male physique even when it isn’t my own. I’m greedy, which means I’ve quite a high sex drive and want sex a LOT. I’m a “service top” which means that I think my partner's own pleasure is usually more important than mine and that I’m prepared to delay my own gratification to that end. I like bondage, which means, in my case, that I like to tie pretty girls but that I don’t particularly like being tied up.

Well from that limited context info dump it sounds like old Chimpernel is a nasty piece of work, eh? However, can we posit that it is possible to be a sadistic dominant and retain respect and indeed affection for the person you are dominating and hurting? How does one love the person you wish to hurt? And BTW when I say hurt I don’t mean the odd slap on the arse, I mean really really hurt. I am a real sadist not a pretend one.

Let’s dig a little deeper into two key areas, sadism and domination. Both imply a degree of violation, a degree of non-consensual interaction. I mean, who could like being forced to do painful things or be restrained so that painful things could be done more effectively to them. I admit it’s not everyone who would.  Luckily I have the woman of my dreams whose sexual makeup is a perfect complementary match for my own. She isn’t my wife though and that’s a whole realm of complexity and drama which we’ll explore at a later date.

But this is a blog for those on the prowl for extramarital complexities, so I’m going to give you my perspective of experiencing those complexities at the end of a marriage, because the problem with meeting the woman of your dreams is that it seriously throws into highlight how fucking awful your married life is and exposes all those justifications and rationalisations you’ve been using to mask how deeply unsatisfied, unhappy, bitter and angry you actually are. But let’s assume you aren’t there, maybe not yet or ever. Let’s assume this is just a bit of fun to spice up an otherwise slightly moribund life and hell, it might inject some much needed fun at home. It might be a meaningless one night stand, it might be something more substantial or it might be a mirror relationship, long term and fulfilling.

Either way, your first priority when you set out down this path, in fact even before you set out, is information hygiene, I’m assuming the whole safe sex thing is a given here people. Information hygiene is to do with, well basically, not keeping any information you don’t need to and thus not being caught via its presence or glaring absence. Email trails, SMS messages, phone records, MSN conversations, credit card statements etc. Handily, here I have some real expertise. In my vanilla trousers I’m a paranoid management consultant obsessed with information and records retention. The fundamental principles are very easy:
  1. Don’t use your main email, use another hotmail account or such like
  2. Don’t keep any of the emails/SMS, etc you send or receive. I know that re-reading them might provide some comfort doing a long and lonely night but you have a secure memory between your ears, use it, much harder to subpoena.
  3. Online-only billing of credit cards is a wonder, same as online-only mobile bills, it means no one can accidentally open a statement and start asking awkward questions about common numbers, etc.,
  4. Or just use cash for everything.
Now that you are aware of those principles, the next area is what do you want? Kinky sex with a nineteen year old, six foot, German nymphet and her adopted Zulu sister is unlikely if you are a charmless, balding fat lad from Romford with limited resources, though patently you have both imagination and great taste in sexual partners. In real life can you meet such a partner or partners? If not, then you might have to enter the world of online dating and possibly reinvent yourself by a profile which bears as little resemblance to reality as those of the people you will be talking with. Remember, if you have reinvented yourself as the third earl of Dudley the chances are that nineteen year old, six foot, German nymphet is another fat lad called Derek from Newcastle. I’ve found honesty is by far the best policy. Describing yourself as you are doesn’t mean you can’t use imagination and flair to expose the qualities you want people to focus on, and that doesn’t mean that charmless and fat has to equal “also has a 9” cock” to compensate for that*.  For gents humour and evidence of both intelligence and a degree of respect is very attractive and for ladies. Whilst we are all very visually triggered, men actually care much less for small details and more for the whole picture and some evidence of “fucks like a crazed weasel,” even if that evidence is a cheeky smile and a hint of smoulder.

More next week folks, and I promise it’ll be much ruder too.

*On that note, the global average dick size is six inches and 99% of penises are within an inch of that length. If someone claims to have an eight inch dick, he’s either one in ten thousand or the lying has started right there.

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Want to hear more from Chimpernel?  Keep checking back here for more posts!  You should also visit his blog, The Scarlet Chimpernel.

Friday, January 28, 2011

10 Things That Really Turn Me On

I was having a conversation with someone recently about things that turn people on, and I found it very interesting how people are so different.  Things that turn on one person  can be a complete turn off for someone else.

So, because this blog is all about, well, me, I thought I'd share with my fellow prowlers the things that really turn me on.  I'm going to stop at 10 because the list could get pretty long.

  1. Confidence - This no joke.  Nothing gets me hotter than a confident man. Just about everything else pales next to confidence. I've met some amazingly good looking men who did nothing for me because they were afraid of their own shadow, and I've met some men who others might not consider as attractive who could twist me around their little fingers because of their confidence.
  2. Intelligence - You have probably figured out that I have a thing for smart men.  I really do. Not only does intelligence usually mean a man is quite creative in bed, but it's intriguing.  It's the signal to me that there is really something interesting to discover, both in and out of bed. Heck, I've been chatting with one guy for almost two weeks who won't even tell me his name, but he's smart and witty and I'm dying to know more (Dear Mr. No-Name, please don't think this means I'll let this go on forever without a name).
  3. A Sexy Voice - Almost 17 years ago, I met a man online with the sexiest voice I've ever heard in my life.  We had incredible phone sex, as you might imagine (yes, a phone sex post is coming). We have never met in person and our relationship has developed into a friendship, but I still get wet whenever I hear his voice. My, my. my!  I also can't resist a sexy voice whispering sweet nothings in the dark.
  4. Domination - I'm not just talking about BDSM here (although I like a little D/s role play from time to time), but I get seriously turned on by a man who takes charge. Here's the deal.  I'm in control in most areas of my life.  I really need a man to be a man.  That said, I can be up for a little role reversal, too, but start off by taking charge.
  5. Nipple play - OMG! I'm one of those very fortunate women whose nipples are so sensitive that she can almost cum from nipple play alone, yet many of you guys neglect that. Our tits aren't just for you, ya know.
  6. Hair Pulling - Maybe this is related to the domination thing.  I don't know. I do know, however, that I love it.  I discovered this by accident when a lover grabbed me by the hair 20 years ago.  What a pleasant surprise! Gentlemen, here's a tip for you on hair pulling - grab firmly close to the scalp.  It gives you more control and that is the turn on. Jerking it by the edges is just annoying and it leaves bruises.
  7. Kissing - I don't mean a little kissing. I'm talking about those hot, deep, wet kisses that last three days. No matter how stressed, tired, or preoccupied I am, some deep kissing (with a dominant, confident man who grabs me by the hair on the back of the head at the same time) always gets me in the mood.
  8. Passion/Desire -  As a young woman, I used to think that being turned on led to passion and desire, but I have changed my mind on that.  Those of you who have experienced a long term relationship with someone who isn't interested in sex at all know how much of turn on it for someone to want you. I guess it's easier to recognize when you've lost it, but being with a man who actually wants sex, with me, is hot. And when he shows that by being enthusiastic and passionate in bed....wow!
  9. Generosity - Some guys just want to get what they want and be done with it.  Of course, these men are idiots (yes, you can quote me on that) because they fail to understand that the more they please their partner, the more pleasure they will get. A man who makes sure that I am enjoying our time together turns me on, and makes me want to go out of my way to please him. It's quite simple.
  10. Experimentation - I like to try and learn new things.  I'm not saying that plain old, sweet missionary style can't be great (because it really can), but willingness to try something new and different is a big turn on. That brings us right back to confidence, doesn't it? If you're not confident enough to get a little crazy and experiment a bit, how will you ever know what really turns you on?
Now, if you recognize a lot of the items on this list from 13 Reasons Why J Was the Best Ever, you have been paying attention.  Kudos to you!

You may wonder why some things are missing from the list like a nice, big, hard cock. Try reading Does Size Matter? and you'll have your answer.

Yes, my list of 10 Things That Really Turn Me Off is coming soon.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Working from the Top Down - A Naughty Guest Post

This very sweet and romantic (but naughty!) fantasy story was sent by Steve, a married gentleman living somewhere on the west coast of the USA (yes,I know where and who he is, but he wishes to remain anonymous for now). When I first read this story, I thought, "Have we met?" and then "Why not?!" I'm sure you'll enjoy it, too.

By the way, Steve tells me that while was written as a fantasy story, addressed to the lucky woman in the story, the reality of their meeting was even better. Maybe we can convince him to share that story, too....

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Not only had it been a long time since we last saw each other in person, it had been a very long week for you. Your summer was busy enough but the past week had you running and standing and working long hours every day. The one thing that kept you going was knowing that you had the house to yourself for the weekend and I was flying in to spend the weekend with you. You had checked the flight status online before leaving work and knew I had arrived. You called me on the drive home and found that I was already at the house anxiously awaiting your arrival. You arrive home on this beautiful summer evening to find me in the back yard relaxing and awaiting your arrival with a fine bottle of red wine.

I escort you to the most comfortable lounge chair and hand you a glass of wine as you sink into the curves of the chair and visibly relax. I gently slip off your shoes then settle in to the chair next to you with my own glass of wine as we both relax and start discussing all of the wonders of life that we haven’t had time to discuss until this very moment. Time, wine, and daylight pass into the glowing red sunset as we simply relax in the presence of each other. It is a nice warm evening and the nearly full moon is rising over the trees as darkness begins to fall upon our revelry.

Sensing a lull in the conversation and a desire to start something else I get up and stand behind you, gently running my fingers through your hair and caressing your temples, urging you to simply lie back and relax. I gently kiss your forehead and rub your neck and shoulders, encouraging the week’s stresses to dissipate into the warm night air. I gently nibble and lick your ear, whispering how much I love the time we get to spend together, hinting at some of the things I intend to do with you tonight. Your response is a sincere affirmation that tonight is going to be another special night. I lean down and passionately and deeply kiss you on the lips, allowing my hands to slowly slide down your chest and caress your breasts, their nipples firming rapidly under my loving touch

As our kiss lingers I move around in front of your chair and kneel on the ground in front of you and begin undressing you. The evening is drifting towards night but the moonlight is providing more than enough light for me to enjoy the beauty of your nakedness as I remove your blouse and bra. I lovingly fondle and caress your spectacular breasts, rolling your nipples firmly between my fingers to get them fully hard and aroused. I know that I am causing quite a stir for you from both the physical reaction of your nipples as well as your squirming and moaning in pleasure. Your requests for me to continue are sure to be answered. I lean forward, taking each nipple into my mouth and sucking hard while caressing the entire breast, pausing occasionally to lean back and simply admire the beauty before me. Soon I feel the need to expose and explore further into this body that I love to bring pleasure to.

With some help from you I gently slip your skirt and underwear off, leaving you totally exposed here in your backyard on this warm moonlit summer night. The sight and feel of your smooth naked skin combined with the passion generated from our actions has had a very noticeable effect on my body as well. You help me first out of my shirt and then out of my own shorts and underwear, leaving us both totally nude. Free of the encumbrances of my clothes, I continue my attentions further down your body, gently kissing from your breasts further down until I reach the fine soft fur between your legs. I gently slide you forward to allow you to fully spread your legs, allowing me full access to all of your feminine treasures that you want to share with me.

Kneeling in front of you I gently spread your lips and slowly insert my fingers into you. You are already very wet with anticipation and my fingers easily slip deep inside you. As I stroke them in and out, going deeper with each stroke, I begin licking and sucking on your clitoris to further stimulate you. I deeply massage inside you, finding your G spot and stimulating it firmly, getting you as aroused as you always do me. Having found your G spot I re-focus my oral stimulation on your clitoris and my one free hand on your breasts. My goal is obvious, I want you to have a very satisfying orgasm, hopefully the first of several this evening.

The physical and verbal reaction coming from you indicates that I am making progress towards that goal so I continue until you do have the orgasm that I want you to have.

Suddenly you get up and nearly push me over backwards, telling me that it is my turn. Remembering the past, you throw the pads from the lounge chairs on the ground and position me on my back right in the middle. You quickly straddle me and slide my throbbing cock deep inside you, the sensations from your earlier orgasm still tingling and further stimulating you as I slide deep inside you. You grab your breasts and start squeezing them, firmly grabbing and pulling on your nipples as you ride up and down on my cock. You are telling me how great it all feels and really start getting into it. You can tell I am getting close and tell me that everything is fine, I can cum inside you this time without any worries. I take the hint and start helping you pump my cock in and out feeling the heat of your body next to mine, your juices on my balls cooling them in the fresh air. I soak in the beauty of your body bouncing in the moonlight, sweat glistening on every inch of your voluptuous loveliness. Suddenly I can take no more and I explode deep inside you, moaning with pleasure as wave after wave of pleasurable contractions wrack my mind and body. I am vaguely aware of you having another orgasm yourself, triggered by my own reactions to you. Slowly we drift back to reality, gently touching and caressing the delicate and sensitive parts of each others bodies, not wanting the sexual energy to fade into nothingness quite yet. You curl up on top of me, my cock still inside you gently twitching as the erection slowly melts way.

This is as close as we ever have been and it feels wonderful.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Nice-Guys are *NOT* Attractive

DauntlessD here throwing up his first post!

I am sure many readers of both genders read that headline and scoffed thinking, "That's just not true!" Sorry, my friends, but it is true; and I know from personal experience. However, now that I have your attention, let me ease your minds. I am not referring to simple physical attraction.

First, a little background on me. I am a man in my early 40s. I am half South American so I fit into that category of "tall, dark, and handsome" quite neatly. As a young man I was taught my manners well, to be polite, respectful and courteous of others. It was also imbued in me that special attention was to be paid to the fairer sex, which included some chivalrous instruction such as taking coats, opening doors and pulling out chairs. In high school I grew to nearly 6 feet and my shoulders broadened giving me a hearty 170 lbs. frame. I am not unattractive today, but back then I was a darn good looking young man.

When it came to being attractive, I seemed to have everything going for me. Then why was it that I had such meager success with the ladies? I would look around at my friends, many whom were less attractive than me and they would have much more success. I did not give this much thought in my early 20s, but as the years rolled by I began to find this more and more troubling -- actually it was down right frustrating. I was what women say they want for crying out loud - a nice, good looking guy with a good sense of humor!

Heading into my 40s I hit that time for men when they start taking stock of their lives. I decided to figure out what it was about me that caused attraction to fizzle and die. So I start searching the Internet and discovered an interesting blog, Ashley and Me, where a man who calls himself RiffDog shares his adventures meeting women via AshleyMadison. I found ol' RiffDog to be a fun read, the posts where he described his sexual encounters were very raw and male. What struck me most about the Ashley and Me blog were the comments to Riff's posts. The women reading the blog just loved his unapologetic maleness. This seemed to fly in the face of how I was raised. So after sending an email to Mr. RiffDog with a couple of questions he responded with a rather simple statement, "[you are] talking about 'Game', which has entire books devoted to the subject."

"Game"? Yes, I am sure there are a number of men right now slapping their foreheads thinking, 'My God this man had never heard of Game?' No, I had not -- and honestly when I first started reading about Game I was incredulous, even a little offended at times. However, the more I read, the more I realized that most of Game is built on some simple instinctual biological truths. It is how I learned that Nice-Guys are Not Attractive.

What are these "instinctual biological truths"? Well, when you break down the human animal to its raw instincts, survival and pro-creation are its top imperatives.

For a Man to make sure his legacy lives on, this means spreading his seed to as many woman as possible. Of course men will gravitate toward the healthier more attractive women, but in truth this is relative; pretty much any woman will do. Yes ladies, I just confirmed your suspicions, men are dogs. For a little comic relief on this subject try this link: Why men and woman cannot be friends.

The instinctual drive in Woman to make sure their legacy lives on is more complicated. (Gee, imagine that! Women, those fair lovely creatures, are more complicated... Who would have guessed?) Women having to carry and care for their children are much more invested. Because of this investment making sure their babies are as strong and as healthy as possible is critical. Thus women have developed a highly tuned instrument buried deep within their psyche to weed out the weaker, less healthy males.

Okay, enough of the babble, why are Nice-Guys not Attractive? Nice-Guys without knowing it set off the alarms that are buried deep in a woman's psyche; they diffuse their own attractiveness. How do they do this you ask? Well here is the answer, Nice-Guys make themselves less attractive by being well, Nice. I know many of you out there have, "WTF?" floating in bubbles over your heads, but it is true.

Why do you think woman are attracted to Bad Boy types? It is not because they are bad boys; it is because of the type of male animal they represent. Think about the strongest most powerful men you can and consider what qualities they have. Think about James Bond or Don Draper in Mad Men. What qualities do these men exude? I bet Confidence popped right in your mind; and women do love a confident man. However it is the more subtle qualities that trip most Nice-Guys up.

Most Nice-Guys strive to please a woman upon meeting her. Would James Bond do that? Nope. Why is this a detractor? Well, a quality male animal has options, he is not worried about any one woman. If the woman in front of him is not interested, no big deal he has others. So when a Nice-Guy starts falling over himself being Nice to a woman, it makes it appear he has no options -- that he is not a quality male.

Ahhh... now maybe you can see why that attractive woman is with that guy that treats her poorly. He has flicked a nerve in her that has made her believe that he is a quality male, that he has options.

So avoid letting your Nice-Guy colors show when you first meet a woman. Show her a confident man who makes his own decisions and wont be swayed. Intentionally be a bit mysterious and don't jump to answer her questions. Take the attitude that she needs to prove her self to you -- that you are a quality male with options. Never point out your own flaws; confident men do not do that. When in doubt treat her like another male. Then after you've established some attraction and rapport, then you can let the Nice-Guy show a little.

I know for us Nice-Guys this is easier said than done. Good luck!

Kat's Top 10 Cheating Rules

I have a few rules that I follow as I prowl. Of course, they are my rules, so I can change them at any time, but I try to stick to them.  I have developed them over years of experience (and, yes, pain and heartache) so I don't take them lightly at all. If you're new to prowling, here are a few "rules" you may want to consider:

  1. Married Men Only - Sorry, single guys, but this one is non-negotiable. The playing field is equal with married men.  They have as much to lose as I do, so they are much more likely to respect my boundaries.  I have bent this rule a bit to include an occasional single guy in a committed relationship, but even that makes me nervous. Yes, there is something very tempting about a young single guy who has the time to be with me whenever I have the time (working around the schedules of two married people can be a hassle), but the temptation isn't worth it. Too much can go wrong.
  2. My Children Come First - An activity with my children takes precedence over any liaison, and if I'm with someone and something goes wrong and one of the kids needs me, I'm out of there.  I would expect the same from any man who has kids. It's ok to be a dog on the prowl, but some things matter much more than sex.
  3. Follow Your Gut - Sometimes it just doesn't feel right.  I've learned to trust that feeling.  If anything feels wrong about meeting a guy, don't do it. I've known women who ended up hurt because they thought they were just being paranoid.
  4. Safety First - As you may expect, this is a really big rule. Be realistic, though.  If it were all about safety, I wouldn't be doing this and neither would you. The thrill and the risk are part of the fun.  Still, it's important to take some basic safety precautions. Make sure you have a first and last name and do at least a little research on the person you're meeting. Meet in a public place first.  Ok, if you're a regular reader you know I don't always do this, but I should. Some folks recommend that you tell someone who you'll be with and where you'll be. I also carry pepper spray (and yes, I have been trained in how to use it). And don't forget about safe sex (that means condoms).
  5. Put That Rope Away - Nobody ties me up unless and until I know him very, very well. This is a common sense safety issue.  Don't get me wrong.  I love a little bondage play, but trust is critical for it to be any fun, and you just can't have that level of trust with someone the first time you meet them. If you want to take that risk, please be aware that you are taking a very serious, potentially life threatening, risk.
  6. Avoid the Players - I'm just not into the men out there who are screwing around with a whole bunch of women at the same time. I guess I'm just a two man gal (my husband +1) and I want the same in return.
  7. Don't Be a Player - It's very tempting at times to play around with multiple men. There all so special! But it's just not nice and how can you really enjoy one if you're thinking about the others? I prefer to focus.  Of course, my goal is to find a long term affair.  You may have  different goals.
  8. Be Kind and Respectful - No matter how it goes, I try to remember that the guy I'm with is a human being.  He's someone's husband, someone's dad. Often, these guys have issues that they need and want to talk about. If I want to be treated kindly, I need to be kind.  If I want to be treated with respect, I need to treat him with respect.
  9. Don't Lose Your Head - It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all, but you have to check your priorities regularly. Family and work are high priorities.  Don't let them suffer because you're having a little fun.
  10. Communicate - If something hurts, stop and communicate (unless, of course, that was the plan and you agreed on it already). If you're uncomfortable, talk about it. If you feel that either of you is getting too dependent on the other or on your affair, discuss it.
There you have it.  Those are my main cheating rules. There's one more for you to consider.  I don't drink so it's not an issue for me, but if I were a drinker, I would seriously consider not drinking (or, at least, not getting drunk) when meeting someone new. It may make you feel less nervous, but it also dulls your judgement.

Remember, the goal is to have fun, but be safe.

So, fellow Prowlers, do you have any other rules that you follow?  Which of the rules are the most important?  Please share with us in the comments.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Finding Free Porn Online

Sometimes I wonder why anyone pays for porn anymore because there is so much free stuff out there.  When I think about free porn, I think about Joey and Chandler from Friends staying up in their apartment for days because their cable company accidentally turned on free porn for them and they were afraid to leave because they didn't know when it would end. It's so plentiful now, though, that it just doesn't have to be like that.  You can actually walk way, and it will still be there (heck, there will be more) when you come back.

There is no way I can provide an exhaustive list of free porn sites in a short blog post, but I'll start out by sharing enough to keep you busy for awhile, and this will probably become a regular feature here as more sites are discovered and shared

YouPorn -YouPorn is a free pornographic video sharing site. No matter what your preference is, you'll find something here for you.  Yeah, this site will keep you busy for awhile.

PublicDisgrace.com - This is one of my favorites among the fetish sites.  Can you guess what it's about?  There are stills and videos of women being fucked and disgraced publicly.  Yes, it's all consensual and legal.  While you can subscribe to the site and pay to see full length videos, there are a whole bunch of little 2 minute videos for you to enjoy for free.  Given the lack of plot, 2 minutes is usually more than enough (replayed a few times, of course). Other fetish sites by the same folks include hogtied.com (rope bondage), devicebondage.com, fuckingmachines.com, and wiredpussy.com. Do you feel dirty yet?  Yeah, me too.  Let's move on.

PornHub.com -Like YouPorn.com, PornHub has something for every preference, but it has less of an amateur bent.  Sure, there are amateur videos (well, they say they are amateurs, but...well, you know...).

Michael's World - This is a photoblog with a wonderful and growing collection of still photos (for the most part). I know I already recommended this blog in one of my posts on naughty blog recommendations, but it is definitely worth mentioning again. Other nice photoblogs in the same vein are Redhead Rising and The Daily Jerk. There are many more like these.  You can explore through the reblogging stream on these, or keep coming back here and I'll share more.

Just in case you're wondering, I don't make any money from any of these sites.  As you know if you've been here long, Kat is all about sharing.

As long as you're here, sign up on the right for an email subscription and you'll get each new post of Prowling with Kat sent to your email inbox.  And check out some of the other posts here while you're at it.  Some of the naughty ones are pretty good, or so I'm told.

Does Size Matter?

No....and yes.

Did that clear it up for ya?  No? Then I suppose I should explain further.

First, I can say with complete honesty that I have had great sex with men with very small penises (one each, of course). I've also had great sex with men with ED, who couldn't get hard. In those cases, it's all about creativity. Those men who know how to compensate for their shortcomings, pardon the pun, have left me quite satisfied and wanting more.

On the other hand, I've also been with men with nice large cocks who really didn't know what to do with them, other than the obvious, of course.  A quickie wham-bam-thankyouma'am session with a large dick is not much fun, and definitely far inferior to a nice long session with a creative and passionate man with a little one.

Are you confused?  Stay with me....

First of all, I have to admit that I like to be filled by a large hard cock (or two, or three) as much as the next gal, but it's really about confidence, passion and creativity. Sadly, many men who have been blessed with large cocks have never had to develop their other skills in bed, so they rely on their natural "gift" to get what they want and they assume that women will keep coming back just for that. Well, maybe we will, for a while. Eventually, though, that gets boring and we want more.  If Mr. Big Dick can't give us more, our minds start to wander, followed by the rest of the body in short order. He's got confidence, but his lack of creativity eventually leaves him playing solo.

Mr. Little Dick, though, knows he has to develop some other talents and skills.  He learns how to use his tongue.  He experiments with his fingers and hands (fisting, anyone?), and he uses sex toys to augment his own equipment - all for the pleasure of his partner, knowing that if she gets more pleasure, he does, too.  He tries lots of different positions to get the most leverage and benefit from the length and girth he does have. The bad news is that, even though these guys have the creativity thing locked, they may not get to share it very often because they lack confidence.

And then there's passion. Passion is all about desire, and showing your partner that you desire her. Some men are very good at this. Others, not so much. And no, simply expressing a desire to fuck her does not communicate passion. I'll be writing more on passion later, but it's very important. Of the reasons married women give for cheating, their need for passion is almost always at the top of the list.

Importantly, the development of confidence, creativity, and passion have nothing to do with the size of your dick.  So, whether you are big or small, you have a chance to become a great lover. The only question is, "Will you?"

Confidence, and a promise of passion, will get a woman into your bed. Creativity and passion will keep her there.

Wait.....in those two little equations (Confidence + passion = sex; Creativity + passion = more sex) I didn't even mention size.

Exactly.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Kat's Naughty Blog Recommendations for This Week

I love to peruse the blogosphere looking for other naughty Kats (both Tom and Femme Kats) like me. I thought it might be nice to share a couple of my favorites with you each week.

Michael's World - This is a delicious photoblog on Tumblr.  Yes, that's right - nothing but naughty photos. There is a definite bondage theme to most of them, but there is really something on here for just about any temperament or preference.  And Ladies, Michael himself is pretty hot, too.

Ashley and Me - This is the first sex blog I ever read. The author is a married guy who calls himself Riff Dog, and the blog is his outlet for sharing his sexual exploits. Some find it offensive; others find it hot. I look forward to his new posts like ....a Kat in heat, I suppose. Hehe.  Oh yeah, and he's a very good writer. Do yourself a favor and take a look.

So, between Michael's World, Ashley and Me, and Prowling with Kat, you should have plenty to entertain you this week.  If not, find me on Twitter.

I'll have more naughty blog recommendations for you next week.  If you want to recommend any, send me a message or add them in the comments. Your suggestions are always welcome.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Delicious Irony - A Naughty Fisting Story

We were somewhere in the middle of our four hour fun session, and J (from The Best Sex of My Life) had just come for the second time. It was one of those wonderful moments of rest in between the moments of pleasure when you just get to relish the whole experience. We were both laying kind of diagonally on the bed, and J was gently stroking my inner thigh with his finger. I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation of his fingers, the sound of his breathing, the coolness of the air in the room.

I felt him move and reposition himself, but I didn't open my eyes. I assumed he was just trying to get comfortable, until I felt him nudge my legs apart and start licking around my clit very gently, almost imperceptibly, not touching it for a long while, just licking around it. I tried to be still, but I couldn't help but wiggle my hips a little bit....if I could just get that tongue a little bit to the left..... But he was paying attention (as always) and he didn't let me control the situation. 

As his tongue continued to tease me, he slipped a finger inside me and started moving it slowly in and out.  Then he added another, and another. Now he had my full attention. I didn't even notice that he had quit licking because I was focused 100% on the slow movement of his fingers sliding deeply in and out of me. The slow wiggling of my hips became rhythmic rocking as he pressed more of his hand inside me.

I was full, stretched, and delighted when I finally realized what he was doing. I couldn't remember if I had told him I liked to be fisted or if he came up with it all on his own.  It didn't matter at the moment, of course.  All that mattered was the cascade of sensations building with each stroke of his hand.

At one point, the fullness became pain, and I asked him to stop - not to pull back, but just to stop for a moment - so my body could catch up to my desire to pump and grind against his hand as hard as I could. In a few seconds, I could feel the stretching and the release.  I relaxed into it and said, "Ok," giving him the go ahead to continue.  I threw my head back as I felt  his thumb and final knuckle enter me.

Then he twisted his hand and started pumping it slowly in and out - very small movements augmented by my own rocking as I pressed against his fist, wanting more...wanting as much of him as I could get.

Then I felt something brushing and rubbing against that special spot inside me.  The first time got my attention and I called out.  Then it became regular and I started moving to reach for that feeling with each stroke. What was that?  A knuckle? The tip of his thumb? I tried to figure it out for about 10 seconds before the pleasure took over and I couldn't think about much else. I could hear myself moaning louder and louder as I could feel my release getting closer.

I felt completely controlled and dominated by him. I couldn't move except to grab onto the sheets with my hands and press against his fist with my hips.  It felt like he was demanding my surrender to him, and I couldn't resist even if I wanted to.

Then it started - the shaking that always precedes a good, hard orgasm for me.  I was ready to let it flow gently, but then J started licking my clit firmly and fast, perfectly coordinated with the motion of his hand.  As his hand pulled back, his tongue flicked my clit. Then his tongue would circle away, and his fist would dive inside me again, hitting the spot that drove me crazy.  There was no escape from it.  It was a constant alternation of forced pleasure from his fist and his tongue. I screamed and let it take over, thoroughly enjoying the pulsing sensation throughout my whole body. He didn't stop right away; he kept it going until he could tell the initial jolt had subsided, and then he slowly pulled his hand out of me, in spite of my moans of protest.

I expected another moment of rest, but he was having none of that.  He quickly climbed on top of me and thrust his hard cock (again?!) into me and started fucking me hard, which kept my orgasm going...and going....and going.....

He put his hand on my face (one of the very hot things J likes to do while fucking me.....mmmmm) and that's when I noticed how amazingly wet his whole hand was. I started licking and sucking my juices from his hand.  He smiled, and fucked me harder. As I was licking his fingers, I noticed I was licking his wedding ring at one point.

That's when it hit me! That amazing little ridge rubbing against my g-spot while he was fisting me and giving me so much pleasure was his wedding ring!

That, fellow Prowlers, is delicious irony.

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Related Posts:

Gone Fisting...

The Best Sex of My Life

J's Version of His First Time with Kat

13 Reasons Why J Was the Best Ever

Gone Fisting....

I got an email from a friend yesterday with a picture of a t-shirt with the phrase, "Gone Fisting" on it. I knew that had to be the title for this post, the first in a series about fisting. I've had several requests, from women, to take some time to write about fisting, and I'm glad to comply because I am such a sweet and kind Kat.  The first post in this series will be about fisting in general (what it is, what to be careful of, etc.).  The next post will be a naughty story about one of my adventures with fisting (you knew there would be a naughty story in here somewhere, didn't you?).

For those of you who don't know what fisting is, it's the sexual act of inserting a full hand into the vagina (known as vaginal fisting) or rectum (known as anal fisting).  There are several different techniques, as you might imagine, but the point is to get the hand inserted up to the wrist. Here's a wikipedia article about fisting that shows some hand positions and discussed some of the risks.

I'll get to the risks in a minute, but first I want to talk about why some women (like me!), and some men I presume, like it so much. Ladies, you've undoubtedly experienced your partner inserting a finger or two (or maybe even three) inside you.  It's quite pleasurable, no? Why is that? Because it's an intimate exploration of your body, and because it allows for manual manipulation of one of your biggest pleasure centers. Adding the fifth finger and the thumb just adds to that pleasure, but it has the added bonus of being a very dominant act. Trust me, you are fully under his control when he's got his whole fist inside you.  You're not going anywhere.  Some of us find that very, very hot. Yes, most women find male domination in bed (to one degree or another) to be a serious turn on.

What about pain?  Yes, it can be uncomfortable during the insertion phase of the act, but the key is to go slow.  Guys, I mean it. Go s-l-o-w.  You need to give the vagina a chance to stretch. The slower you go, the less pain there is.  The faster you go, the more pain there is.  Simple enough. If you're into the whole sado-masochist thing and the pain is part of the turn for you, you still need to be careful about not going to fast for other reasons.

The wikipedia article I cited above talks bout some of the risks of fisting, but it doesn't mention the most obvious risk - perineal tearing. That sound you just heard was the sound of about a thousand women squirming uncomfortably and crossing their legs. For you guys who don't know what I mean, perineal tearing is the tearing of the skin below the vagina and above the anus (that area is the perineum). Inserting your fist too fast or too roughly, or being too rough once it's inserted, can cause that area to rip. Yes, I have experienced a perineal tear caused by fisting.  Not fun. Those tears really do hurt, more during the days that follow than when they happen, but pain and blood during sex are turn offs for most folks. So, repeat after me....Go s-l-o-w. Good.

You also risk internal abrasions if your partner has not made sure his nails are trimmed.  Yes, ouch again! Please, gentlemen.  A little preparation goes a long way.

The most serious risk from vaginal fisting is the risk of embolism.  That is the pushing of air into the uterus.  It can be fatal.  Stop freaking out. It's rare, and it happens more from the act of pounding (pumping a closed fist like a piston inside the vagina) than from more common fisting activities. Still, it's something to think about.

All of this has been about vaginal fisting.  There are additional risks to anal fisting.  Since I'm not into anal fisting at all (but, to be fair, I've never tried it), I'm not going to discuss it here.  Hey, just google it if you want to know more, ok?

I keep hearing that men are very visual, so here's a website that has some free fisting videos, as well as a bunch of other free sex videos.  Enjoy. No, I don't make any money off of this video site.  Kat is all about sharing freely.

Here's a fun little YouTube video on Lesbian fisting which, by the way, is the same as heterosexual fisting, except for maybe the size of the hand. This video will make you chuckle.  It's a parody of a 1950's instructional video.  Very creative, Ladies!

Speaking of size, I've heard men say, "I have really big hands.  There's no way my fist will fit in a woman's vagina!" All I can say is that I have squeezed out two babies with head circumferences bigger than a large man's fist. Get over yourself, big boy.

No, fisting isn't for everyone.  It it's not your cup of tea, let it go.  If you want to try something new and different, though, give it a try.  You might might like it.

As promised, my naughty fisting story will be posted soon. Can you guess who my partner is in it?  I'll bet you can......

Thursday, January 20, 2011

J's Version of His First Time with Kat

Hey, Prowlers! J, from my The Best Sex of My Life post, has agreed to share his version of that encounter. How often do you get to hear both sides of the same story?

Yes, this is an abridged version of the encounter (as my story was) because it is very difficult to get 4 hours of fun condensed into 1,000 words or less (or even 1,500 words for that matter), but I'm certain you'll enjoy J's perspective. I was thinking of adding some photos (yes, J and I have pics...hehe), but I decided that you should just read his version first.

So, here you go....J's Version of His First Time with Kat:

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Kat asked me to write an account of our first encounter from my point of view. I am not as good as a writer as she is, but I'll try my best. Before reading her post I had no idea that my struggles with the phonetics of the English language would give me an exotic touch. Please be patient with my grammar.

Assuming you are a diligent reader of this blog, you know already how we met. So without much ado I can jump forward to the actual day.

Of course it was raining. It poured while I was driving down the highway to my destination. I was not in a hurry, but I was nervous. I drove slowly and had to concentrate, that kept me busy. Half way I made a stop at shopping mall. I needed to buy some condoms. I hadn't bought some for a while and I didn't want to buy them in my neighbourhood shopping center. Buying them was a strange experience. The cashier looked just as bored as everywhere and I tried to looked as inconspicuous as possible, but still I felt as if I was being caught red-handed.

Kat and I exchanged a lot of emails, sent naughty stories back and forth and chatted quite a bit, almost daily. That was a really intensive part. She knows some fantasies I never shared with anyone. We only had two short phone calls before we met. I was just charged with all kinds of fantasies and images. And now I wanted some real action!

When I came to the hotel I got already a message that she was there. Originally I had planned to eat something, in case I needed some more energy, but now there was no time for that.

I drove into the parking lot and she sent me the room number. I gathered my stuff. It still could be a prank. What kind of woman would just meet with a stranger in some hotel room? Well, I was a man willing to meet with a stranger, too.

I walked down to the hallway, and knocked on the door and my heart beat was just racing in excitement. She opened the door, and I sneaked in. Just a whispered 'hi' as a greeting. Of course I recognized her from the photos, but she was surprisingly short. What to do? Get some elaborated speech going, trying to make some conversation? She gently pulled me down and I had not to think about that, but just kiss her. So I just
went for it. We kissed long and I reached out for her pussy. I was prepared for some more teasing, but she let me just go for it and I was amazed how juicy she felt. She was very wet, I just slid my fingers  inside, hearing her moan made me horny and relaxed, too. I was at the right place.

I firmly put my hand around her butt, big and round. That's what I need! Somehow we ended up on the bed and I tried to undress her. She is not a small woman at all, and I knew that before. She had some hesitation to let her clothes go, as if the extra layer of cloth would hide the proportion. I was stubborn and wanted some naked skin.

Actually, I forgot the exact sequence of our activities. I guess that doesn't really matter, does it? My biggest fear was that I would be just too nervous and be unable to perform or just go of like a teenage boy. But Kat is a very experienced woman and she made me feel comfortable right away. We had some very intensive 4 hours or so, with hard action and rest.

It can be  difficult for a man to tell how often a woman comes. With Kat it is easy, because she can get somewhat loud. It was a delight to hear her screaming for lust and she went into this mode during our time together several times.

Kat took care of my dick so nicely.  She blew it very diligently, very nice and made me feel very good. She didn't mind me coming in her mouth. And as a good girl she did not make a mess at all and wasted no
drop on the sheets.

After the second time we lay on the bed on the side, her back against my front. I dozed off for a while. When I was arousing again I tentatively tested with my figures between her butt. I touched it gently and she immediately responded. I was prepared to retract and try something else, but she moaned and stretched her ass out. That really got me going. I poked a little deeper with my fingers and heard her moaning. She came up to her knees, face down and presented her big butt to me. Nervously I pulled a condom over and started going for her ass. She just let me in and moaned. It had been a long time since I was able to fuck some ass and I just indulged it. And she obviously did like it, too. Shoving it in deeper made her moan lustfully and riding her harder made her come loudly. I really enjoyed her sounds.

I was really exhausted after this session, I haven't felt this way for a long time. Extramarital sex feels much more - for lack of a better word - pornographic, more naughty and raw. That was the quality I was looking for. Great sex and a lot of fun! I surely met her again.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Kat's Advice for Prowling Men

Let's face it.  Most of us do our prowling on the sly.  We don't talk about it with friends. We don't ask our spouses for their advice as we do on many other issues. For the most part, we're left out there to figure it out on our own. So, I'm going to do a big favor for you prowling dogs out there. I'm going to share a few tips from a feminine perspective.  Heed them or not, but if you choose to ignore me, don't say I didn't warn you.

Most of my tips are for guys who are actually planning to meet the other woman for (whispering) s-e-x. However, some are appropriate for you online-only prowlers as well.

In no particular order:
  • Don't be a jerk. Be polite. Remember that it is a real human being you are dealing with.  It's very easy when chatting with someone online and via email to objectify her and forget that she's not a paid prostitute; she's a woman (likely married) who has her own needs and concerns. Don't use any of the pickup lines that don't work when you first start chatting, but don't use them later, either. "Wanna fuck?" isn't very alluring or sexy at any point in the first few conversations.  Just today, I was chatting with a guy for about the third time, who started off the conversation with "I wanna see your ass."  Oh, come on.
  • Have realistic expectations. You are not perfect yourself, ya know. Be aware that your new partner will be overlooking a few things, in your favor. Be nice and do the same. Keep in mind, too, that there is a gap between the fantasy of sexy online chat and the reality of real people.  Sometimes it's a big gap.  Sometimes it's not, but if you keep your expectations realistic, everything will be fine.
  • Take care of the hotel room. Here's how I expressed this to a guy recently, "I'm going to lick your ass, suck your cock, and swallow your cum - probably several times - and you want me to take care of the room, too?" Get the point? Now, I don't think sharing the cost of the room is unreasonable, but don't assume that.
  • Get a pre-paid credit card. It just makes things easier. You can find hotels that don't require a credit card, but if you leave one do not assume that they won't charge it, even if you are paying cash. If in doubt, ask. I've paid cash and still had an authorization charge (that was reversed) showing up on the bill.  Not cool.
  • Talk about preferences and other important things in advance. The time to ask her if she likes anal sex is not when you are entering her ass and she's screaming and wiggling trying to get away. Know in advance what positions she likes, and which she doesn't.  If she's ok with oral, will she let you cum in her mouth? And please talk about condoms in advance. If you're too embarrassed to talk about these things, then you're not ready to fuck around.  Period.
  • Be responsible. Condoms are your responsibility, not hers. (Ladies, my message for you is not to trust that he'll have some.  Always have some hidden in your purse.) Only teenagers end up hard, hot, and bothered and don't have a condom. As for whetehr or not you'll be using the comdoms, the two of you need to discuss that.  You're adults.  If the discussion does not happen, condoms are the default. That means plan on using a condom unless you discuss it and agree not to.
  • Be a man.  Please forgive me for being politically incorrect here, but the truth is that most of us have a whipped, wussy of a man at home (even though we love him dearly and he's a great provider or whatever, blah, blah, blah....). That's not what we're looking for when we're on the prowl.  For the most part, we're looking for a man who's going to take charge of the situation, if you know what I mean.  It doesn't mean we want to be completely passive, but we don't want to run the whole show. So, step up. Take charge. I had a phone conversation yesterday with a man I will be meeting tomorrow for the first time.  It was a very nice and polite conversation.  As we were talking about the logistics of meeting, he said, "Well, we could meet at a restaurant for coffee first, if you'd like, but there are some hotels right there.  How would you feel about just getting a room  and getting to know each other intimately?  I already know that's what I want with you."  Wow. That was a panty-dampener if ever there was one. Did you notice how he gave me the option of backing up and meeting in a public place, but he made it clear what he wanted?  Very nice.  Then he went on to say that he would arrange it and contact me with the location (See?  Refer to "Take care of the hotel room" tip, above). In our previous chats, he was very clear about what he wanted, what he didn't want, and what he was looking for - all while being very polite, funny, and charming. Also, he led the conversation (and the chats) the whole time.  He was ready with relevant questions and responses. That, grasshoppers, is how it's done. The odds that he will take charge in bed, too, are very good (lucky me!)
  • Don't ask us about our kids during sex.  I know, this seems like a no brainer, but there's a reason it's on my list.  Understand? Just don't do it.
  • Focus on pleasing her.  Trust me, you will have so much more fun and pleasure if she does. Some of you do this naturally, but I'm sorry to have to tell you this, most of you don't. This tip would change slightly of you are in a BDSM relationship, but then many of these tips would a bit different in that situation.
  • Know what you want. If you are conflicted about having an affair, don't do it.  Wait until you know. If you only want a one time fling, don't hook up with a woman who has made it clear that she wants a long term thing.  It's just  not fair to her. As far as sex is concerned, it's cute when the young ones don't know what to do (See Teaching a Young One), but it's not as cute when a full-grown man is indecisive. I guess this goes along with the "Be a man" tip above.
  • Don't freak out if the unexpected happens.  Plan for unexpected events.  What are you going to do if your wife calls?  If her husband calls? If one of the kids calls? What if she gags when you're in her throat? What if you can't get it up? Seriously, it's normal to be really nervous, especially if this is your first time cheating.  A touch of ED is not as uncommon as you think.  I know, I know, that would never happen to you, but what if it does?  What's your contingency plan? Hint: Getting dressed quickly and running from the room is not an option.
  • Communicate in-between meetings. You may think that you have a meeting set up for four days from now and that's good.  So you don't need to talk or chat with her between now and then, right?  Wrong. The online world functions at a much faster pace than the offline world. No communication in 24 hours online is like a week's worth of silence in the offline world. I saw a movie yesterday in which one of the characters said that women are like horses; they spook easily.  It's true. Even the most confident among us need to hear from you.  Keep in touch.  Don't think you have closed the deal, so to speak, until your dick is buried deep in one of her soft, tight warm places.  Until then, you need to stay alert and keep communicating. Another experience I had was with a man I had met with twice. I got a nice email from him the next day (the same day would have been nice), but nothing else for about a week.  WTF? Needless to say, I was not very receptive to his next booty call email.  Hey, if that's what he wants, fine. I made it clear that I was looking for a little bit more communication than that.
  • Communicate after the meeting. Make sure you send her an email soon after you've had your fun. It's just a matter of being polite.  In that communication, don't lie and say things that are not true.  Don't say you're looking forward to seeing her again if you're not. If you do want to see her again, tell her so. Most importantly....
  • Say thank you.  I don't care if you said it in the room before you left.  Say it again after the fact, in writing, when you are fully clothed and not asking her for anything else.
Ok, Prowlers, those are my best tips for today. Of course, I'll be sharing more in other posts as we go along.
Do you think I missed any important tips? Tell me in the comments or send me a note on Twitter.

Friday, January 14, 2011

TSA Foreplay at the Airport

I really don’t enjoy traveling by air.  I was going to say that I hate it, but that’s a little strong. It used to be much easier than it is now, especially for business travelers like me.  I used to be able to just throw my computer case on the little screening belt and walk right through. Now, I have to take my computer out of its case, take off my shoes and a bunch of other clothes and jewelry, put it all on the belt, and go through the screening. Often, I get diverted to the little pat down zone – you know, that little see-through plexiglass box where you wait like a hamster in a cage for someone to come and search you. I try to keep track of my computer and other belongings, but I always seem to lose sight of them (what happened to that rule about staying with your luggage at all times?).
Anyway, I think the new pat down rules are very interesting. Some people think they are too invasive, but I say, “Bring it on!”
Here’s the deal: Something happens, hormonally speaking, to peri-menopausal women (for you guys who have no idea what that means, I’m talking about women in their 40’s, prior to menopause). Many, although apparently not all of us, are struck with a heightened libido, and I’m not just talking about “Oh, honey, I think I might like some sex this week.” I’m talking about the kind of horn dog need for sex that is more common among 18 – 25 year old men. A stiff breeze makes our nipples hard and an accidental random bump into a stranger in a crowded airport or mall makes us wet. Any activity intentionally designed to excite us….well, that just turns us into prowling, purring, and begging cats.
Enough for the background information…..
The last time I went to the airport, I got plenty of foreplay from the jostling crowd long before I hit the security line.  By then I was a little flushed. I went through the normal routine of putting my stuff on the conveyer belt.  I took off more clothes than they require, but what the hell, ya know?  Normally, I hope to avoid the hamster cage and the pat down, just because it takes time, but this time I was lubed and ready for it.
I took the position in the hamster cage, spread my legs a little wider than directed and put my arms out at my sides. The screener started down at my knees because I was wearing a skirt (I’m no dummy).  Her hands ran up my left leg first – inside and outside of my thigh – pulling up my skirt a bit as she moved.  Yes, just like you may have heard on the news, she then actually cupped my pussy with her hand briefly before moving to the right thigh and down. It made me shudder a bit. If she hadn’t been wearing those gloves she would have noticed how moist my panties were. I thought to myself, “Next time, no panties.”
The she moved up, patted my arms, shoulders, and my collarbone area, before moving to my breasts.  She ran her hands under my breasts and pulled her hands away briefly, a bit surprised.  I caught her eye and smiled.  That’s right, honey. No bra.  Do you really think I would let a bra interfere with a perfectly good opportunity to be felt up? She smiled back and then went back to work.  I’d like to think she took a little extra time around my breasts, but that might just have been wishful thinking, although I don’t think that little nipple pinch was my imagination at all. That was all it took.  Now I was worked up.
She dismissed me and I went to gather my belongings.  It’s not easy to re-assemble everything when you’re so distracted, but I managed. I started heading toward my gate, but after a few accidental bumps and a couple smiles from some extraordinarily good looking men, and I made a turn straight for the ladies room.
I almost ran into a free stall. I turned around and leaned my back against the door, pulled up my skirt and slid my hand into my soaking wet panties. I sighed deeply when my index finger first touched my swollen clit. I was trying not to make any noise, but I know I let out a soft moan as I started rubbing myself, feeling relief coming quickly. I untucked my blouse and reached my left hand up to pinch one of my nipples. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the sensations, imagining I was with J (see The Best Sex of My Life) and my finger down there was his tongue.
In about 30 seconds, my hips and thighs started shaking involuntarily like they do just before I cum. I immediately regretted the decision to lean against the stall door because my shaking was causing the door to rattle, but there was no way I was stopping now. I pinched my nipple as hard as I could and slid two fingers deep inside my cunt as I kept rubbing my clit with my thumb.
I came with a shudder.  I bit my lip to try not to make any noise, and I focused on the amazing sensation shooting through my body, like electricity, up my back and through all my extremities. I felt my cunt grip my fingers and I held them there until the pressure released.
Afterwards, I went to grab some toilet paper to clean up, but the dispenser was completely empty. Just my luck. I put my fingers in my mouth, sucking off as much excess juice as I could before wiping them on the underside of my skirt. A more immediate problem, though, was the wetness dripping down my thighs.  I grabbed one of those paper toilet seat covers and mopped up as much as I could but it really just moved it around because those things are not made to be absorbent. I grabbed my bags, rushed out of the stall, washed my hands quickly, and looked at myself in the mirror. I was definitely flushed, so I splashed some water on my face, quickly patted it dry with a paper towel, and headed out.
As I left the restroom, I heard the boarding announcement for my flight and I quickened my step toward my gate, very aware of my wet panties and the dampness between my thighs.
What a nice way to begin a business trip, don’t you think?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Afternoon Fun in a Honda Civic

He told me to meet him at this fruit stand off the highway. It wasn't really a fruit stand, at least not if you're imagining a lean-to set up by some local farmers on the side of the road. It was more like a fruit and vegetable market, and the place was really crowded. This not the kind of place I typically like to meet because there is just too much potential to be seen by someone who may know me or my husband, but C picked the place and here I was.

I drove in the crowded parking lot and C parked in his car. I found one of the last available spaces and waited for him to jump into my passenger seat. Why my car? Why choose a Honda Civic for a little afternoon quickie fun? Because C drove a Prius, so we were choosing between the lesser of two evils.

C got in the car and leaned over to give me a quick kiss - the kind he would give his sister (or his wife) since there were just too many people around for anything more right now. He greeted me warmly and smiled, and made a joke about his interesting choice of meeting places. We both laughed. That sense of humor is one of the things I like most about C. He's definitely having a good time in life, and that's very attractive. Oh yeah, and he's an amazing kisser, too - not to mention his other talents.

He gave me some directions as we pulled out of the parking lot, and then it became clear that he really didn't know where we were going as we searched for a secluded spot to safely - and privately - park. There was more laughter as I gave him grief for not planning better. We had assumed it would be easy to find a place, but it turns out that farmland stretches pretty far and wide around here. He finally thought of a good place and guided us there.

Before I go further, I know what you're thinking. Why didn't we just get a room? What is this, high school? Well, the truth is we hadn't planned this at all. I was on my way to a meeting and C had managed to escape for about 30 minutes so he called to see if I wanted a quickie. Uh, yeah. Hello? This is Kat you're talking to. So we set out on our little mini-adventure. Besides, what's wrong with a little car fun every now and then?

We parked about a mile away from the little produce market on a dead end side road. We put the seats back as far as they would go (which isn't very far in a Civic) and turned and smiled at each other like two teenagers wondering who was going to make the first move.

Thankfully, he made the first move and leaned over to kiss me sweetly. As his lips parted and he slid his tongue into my mouth, I sighed slowly, relaxing into the moment and returning his kiss eagerly.

Believe it or not, I would have been fine with just that. C was a great kisser and it was a crazy afternoon that just got a little more sane and comfortable.  But C as not settling for that. I felt his hand slide under my blouse and bra.  He pinched my nipple just hard enough to make me gasp, almost as if he wanted to make sure I was paying attention, then after a few moments of fondling my breast he slid his hand down slowly -- one of those slow, gentle moves that feels like teasing --until he slipped it in my panties.  As he slid a finger inside me, I lifted my left leg up and put my foot up on the dash. C’s hands are large and strong - you’d never expect him to have such a gentle touch - and after the rushed and hurried journey to our play place, it was surprising that he was now moving so slowly, not hurried at all, sliding a finger in and out of me very, very slowly, then massaging all around my clit without touching it.

He kept kissing me softly....deep full kisses followed by a series of smaller gentle, nibbling ones, then back to the deep ones again.  I knew what he was waiting for and I was thinking that maybe this time I’d hold out, but he knew I wouldn’t be able to.  Within a few minutes, I was rocking my hips ever so slightly, trying to get his fingers to touch me just a little differently, but he’d just smile into our kiss and move his hand away.  I moaned. I really hate being denied pleasure....and I love it, too..and he knew that.

Eventually, he gave me what he knew I needed, and he slid a finger inside me while he moved his thumb over my clit and started circling and flicking it slowly at first, then faster....faster.... It seemed like no time at all had passed before I started to shake. My fingers tightened around his strong arm as I started moaning. Just then, a truck started approaching.  WTF?! I thought this was a dead end road!  Well, we hadn’t paid much attention to the private access road to the farm right next to us.  C pulled his hand out of my panties, I put my leg down quickly and we waited for the truck to pass.  After the truck passed, C looked at me and started to laugh.  I was flushed and breathing heavily, clearly very needy at the moment. I remember moments like this from my teenage years, and I didn’t like them very much then, either.

I put my leg back up on the dash and looked back at C with my eyebrows raised. He chuckled again and got back to business.  I was grateful that he didn’t make a joke about it being time to get back to his car now, but that would have been the kind of thing he would do. While I was thinking that, he quickly got me back to the same shaking, moaning place I was before the truck came along. Some orgasms come slowly and gently, building in a soft crescendo, but not this one. This one came with just a little bit of warning and then a big jolt. I squealed and he kissed me hard as he slid a couple more fingers inside me and filled me as I came.

Then it was his turn.  I had to decide the best way to do this.  I could climb over onto his seat and straddle him, which would be nice, but not comfortable in any way in such a small car, so I decided to unfasten his pants, lean over and start licking.  He was very helpful with the logistics, scooting up in the seat so I could reach easier without completely climbing over the center console. I knew he would cum easily as I took him into my mouth on the first stroke. He was already rock hard--the way he usually got in that moment just before he came-- and there was already some sweet precum waiting for me to lap up. Normally, I liked to tease C and make it last a bit when I sucked on him, changing up the tempo and pressure to keep him right on the edge without letting him have what he really wanted until I was ready, but I knew we were both pressed for time that afternoon, so I moved quickly. In a couple of minutes, my mouth was filled with his cum and his hands were entwined in my hair as he held me down on him. I waited until he was completely done, and then I swallowed slowly, squeezing the head of his cock with my throat as I swallowed, making him shudder and groan delightfully.

I licked him thoroughly before sitting up (a good camper always carefully polices the campsite to make sure it’s clean before leaving).  Then I looked at him and had my own laugh because now he was flushed and breathing rapidly. Then we both said, almost in unison, “Well, it’s time to go!” More laughter.

Clothes and seats were adjusted and I drove him back to the produce market to his car.  As he got out of the car, he leaned over and gave me a parting kiss.  This one was a little more than the sister-like kiss I got when we were here about 30 minutes before. He told me I’d hear from him again soon, and then he smiled and waved and moved quickly back to his own car.  I noticed a little bounced in his step that wasn’t there before, and that made me smile.

Note to self: It’s time to sell the Civic and get a Buick.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Why I Suck at 69

Yes, I know it's a fantasy held by many, and I know that any self respecting naughty Kat should be able to do it and enjoy it, but in the spirit of complete disclosure and honesty I have to admit that I suck at 69. For the less experienced among you, I am referring to mutual oral satisfaction.

It's not that I don't want to be good at it, or that I'm not good at giving oral (because I have been told that I give a world class BJ). The problem is my ADD.  Well, at least I think that's what the problem is.  By ADD I mean Attention Deficit Disorder. I have come to believe that I have a little touch of ADD and that it significantly interferes with my ability to participate in this particular sexual activity.

Here is the specific problem:

If someone is doing a nice job of stimulating me orally "down there," that's where my focus goes. Then there's a cock in my mouth, and that's where my focus goes. I can hang with it for awhile, but eventually one of two things happens: 1) I get totally into the pleasure "down there" and I completely lose focus with what I'm doing with my mouth (yes, I have even forgotten totally, only to realize suddenly, "Oh my!  There's a cock in my mouth!); or 2) I manage to keep my focus on  the lovely toy in my mouth, much to my partner's satisfaction, and I end up ignoring what's going on "down there."  Sometimes, that ignoring becomes annoyance ("I wish he would just stop that for a moment so I can finish up with this lollipop.").

It's really quite sad. When a partner excitedly moves into one of the well-known 69 positions, I am faced with a dilemma.  Should I be honest and say, "I really don't think you want to do that" or should I just go for it and risk making one or both of us frustrated?

I've had partners say that I just need more practice. Honey, I could teach the class. It's not about practice. It's about my ability to maintain focus when faced with this particular variety of multi-tasking.

However, I am an open-minded Kat.  So, fellow Prowlers, any suggestions?  Has anyone else licked this problem (pun intended)?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Teaching a Young One

I met B in a chat room while I was traveling for work.  I was in a hotel in southern CA and I was online one evening just playing around, flirting, and seeing what kind of mischief I would find in general. He sent me a private message and threw out a very clever pick up line (sorry, you’ll have to wait for the Best Online Pickup Lines post to learn what it was) so I struck up a conversation with him.
He waited a polite amount of time before asking the a/s/l question, and that’s when we learned that he lived around the corner from my hotel. Suddenly, the conversation got much more interesting.
That’s also when I learned that he was almost 25 years old. I groaned.  I was 40 at the time, and I was pretty strict about staying away from the younger guys (I defined younger as under 40). It’s not that the young ones aren’t cute, but when you’re cheating on the road you have some things to consider that might not be obvious to other folks.  For example, I knew that this was likely going to be a one-time shot.  Did I really want to waste a few hours on a guy that might not have enough experience to even find my clit? The truth is that, generally speaking, men with a little more experience know their way around a woman’s body, and that’s a plus to be sure. Sweet little B was living with his very first girlfriend ever.
On the other had, there was something kind of intriguing about teaching a young guy a few things.  He had never experienced either anal or oral sex (I know, amazing, huh?) and he really wanted to try it. Just like you never forget your first sexual experience, I knew that if I did this, Baby B would never forget me. So, I agreed.  I gave him my phone number so he could call and we could talk it over a bit.
I asked him how he wanted it to go, and I listened carefully. He suggested something that I had never considered before. Yes, I actually learned something really good from this young one. He wanted to come into the room and get down to business with no conversation first. His explanation was that he’d be too nervous and talking for a bit would make it worse for him, so he just wanted to get right to it. Believe it or not, I loved that! It was seriously hot…and it became my favorite way to meet someone new. There’s plenty of time to talk later, right?
So, by the time I opened the hotel room door when he arrived, his shirt was already almost off and his pants were unbuckled.  Eager boy! He stepped right in and kissed me deeply and slipped my robe off my shoulders as he wiggled out of his pants.  “This is what nervousness looks like?,” I thought.
His hands were all over the place – fumbling here and there, indecisive, excited, like he was trying to touch everything all at once and feeling a bit frustrated because he only had two hands. I guided his right hand down to my pussy and slid a finger right where I wanted it to be and I put his other hand on one of my breasts.  He moaned and sighed heavily, as if he were relieved for the guidance. Within about 30 seconds I learned that while he needed a little help finding my clit, he knew what to do with it once he was there. I leaned back against the wall behind me and relaxed into the sensations.
Soon, he took his hand from my breast, lifted my left leg and started pushing himself inside me. “Very nice,” I thought. “A little initiative…good boy….” But then he suddenly stopped everything and said, very firmly, “No! That’s not what I want to do.” I was shocked.  How do you respond to that?  So I just said, “Ok. What do you want?” “I want to do the things I can’t do with my girlfriend.” He replied.  I answered, “Ok, B.  You’re in charge here.  Whatever you want.” Then he looked at me like a little boy who had just received the Christmas gift he really, really wanted, and he said, “Really?  I mean, really?  Whatever I want?”
I started to wonder if he had been involved in the chat and phone conversations we had just had about an hour earlier or if that had been his evil twin. Then I realized that he was undoubtedly so nervous on the phone that he probably wasn’t listening well, so I explained it again.  Yes, we can do whatever you want.  Anal?  Sure.  Oral?  How ‘bout right now?
I walked him over to the sofa and sat him down, and I knelt in front of him and took his stiff swollen cock into my mouth. I had been planning to do this nice and slow, gentle and sweet, but my now I was thinking this boy needed an experience to really remember, so I dove right in, taking him into my throat on the very first stroke, sucking him very hard and very deep, swallowing the head on every stroke. He didn’t moan; he screamed.  I worked him even harder. It didn’t take him long to cum, as I swallowed it, he was just moaning, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god….” Ok, I’ll admit it.  That made me smile.
I sat on the floor next to him and looked up at him. The expression on his face was a completely new one for me – something between amazement, happiness, fear, confusion.  I let him catch his breath for a few minutes and then I started some small talk.  He had told me he was going to college and that he was an English major.  I was in the process of editing a friend’s novel.  I had the pages all spread out over the second bed in the room. I started talking to him about it.  He was genuinely interested, as I don’t think he had ever seen an unpublished novel in process, so we talked about that for a bit.
Within 5 minutes (yes, only 5 minutes) he was ready to go again. I started stroking him gently while he was still talking about the book.  I grabbed some KY from the night table (in those days I traveled prepared) and started applying some to his already very hard dick.  He looked confused, but I knew he’d figure it out in a moment. I stood up, took his hand, and led him over to the bed.  I climbed on the bed, got on my hands and knees in front of him, and looked back at him.  He smiled. “Really?,” he said.  Oh my gosh. This young one really needs mommy’s approval, doesn’t he?  Then he said, “What do I do?” My annoyance instantly turned to compassion.  What a sweet kid. So I told him just to put the tip in and then hold onto my hips – I’d do the rest.
He slowly pressed the tip of his cock into my ass.  I don’t even think he got the whole head in, and then he grabbed my hips.  As soon as I felt that he had a good grip I started pressing back against him. His 8” cock felt amazingly good sliding inside me, and I remember thinking what a great lover this boy is going to be once he learns how to use that thing. I moved forward and back slowly a few times, making sure his whole shaft benefited from each stroke, but within a few strokes he had taken over and he was pulling me back onto him and thrusting inside me hard and fast with surprising force. Then he slowed down and was pounding me with long slow strokes, each one lifting my knees off the bed and making me squeal. He came hard; his fingers dug into my hips and his hands held my backside a few inches up off my knees as he had me in just the position he wanted while he came.
He pulled out slowly and slid onto the bed next to me. There was no talking this time. In a few minutes, I felt him nudge me to roll over, and he moved between my legs and started to lick that clit I had helped him find earlier. By this time, I had had enough foreplay, I came very quickly. Afterwards, he lifted up to where I could see him.  He had a huge smile on his face which was covered with my wetness.  I smiled back.
The next hour was filled with more play. It was fun. Before he left, he wanted to exchange phone numbers, I said no. There was no way this could be repeated again, and I wanted him to remember it exactly this way.
Maybe the young ones aren’t so bad after all.