tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post6311382195897388822..comments2023-11-03T04:19:29.065-07:00Comments on Prowling with Kat: Would You Tell?Kathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12391347384362000456noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-46676428396727483192012-09-04T19:07:06.684-07:002012-09-04T19:07:06.684-07:00Anybody I consider a good enough friend that I'...Anybody I consider a good enough friend that I'd become involved with their personal business is also intelligent enough to have either figured it out already if it's happening or at least smart enough to see the possibility when the facts are put forth.<br />As for if I'd tell them... yes.<br />Those few monogamous friends I have that could end up in such a situation I would consider it a duty to tell.<br />Most people I know though I don't consider close enough to get involved. Infernohttp://www.redregioninferno.com/theinfernonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-7743577847214501472012-09-04T13:40:52.879-07:002012-09-04T13:40:52.879-07:00I never ask difficult questions (ie questions w/ p...I never ask difficult questions (ie questions w/ potentially painful answers) if I am not prepared for the answer, good, bad or indifferent. When I asked a difficult question by a friend or family member that I care about and I know the answer may hurt them I always ask "Are you sure you want to know what I think?" That gives then an opportunity to second guess the decision to ask the question. That being said, I think you handled the situation appropriately... Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-30797772533841955772012-09-03T16:31:49.038-07:002012-09-03T16:31:49.038-07:00I think in the end, the truth is always better, es...I think in the end, the truth is always better, especially if it was asked for.<br />The signs and symptoms listed in this post hit too close to home, yet I'm still not sure if she technically "cheated" on me, but in some ways I wish she had, because in an emotional affair NO ONE is getting anything.<br /><br />This guy seems dangerous and hopefully she will listen to you in the end and stay safe.Marcushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11480992027510927084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-80309565833124876332012-09-01T16:58:23.871-07:002012-09-01T16:58:23.871-07:00I would tell them especially if they appeared to n...I would tell them especially if they appeared to need the info because it would affect their decision tree. You can't withhold information when it affects someone else. It's like being a bystander in an accident and assuming someone else will come along and clean things up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-61729777538765320712012-09-01T12:51:33.196-07:002012-09-01T12:51:33.196-07:00I believe that I am faced with a milder version of...I believe that I am faced with a milder version of this very situation. One of my best friends--I don't use the term lightly; we have been friends since grade school--is married to a woman in whom most marital horror stories find their inspiration. She is selfish, juvenile in dealing with conflict, and controlling to boot. My best friend is still in the naive stage of gender relations. That is, he still believes that women are the "fairer" sex and worthy of being placed on pedestals...rather than seeing them as no different than himself, flawed human beings.<br /><br />His broken worldview causes him to behave submissively toward his wife (toward any woman really...I've seen the pattern play out in his past relationships) which does him no favors in winning his spouse's respect (something that I see evidence of whenever we hang out as a group). She has also been spending an unhealthy amount of time with some asshole from her native country (she's an Italian citizen), and many of the typical signs of an affair are present.<br /><br />I of course have no absolute proof of her straying, but one does not always need to see flame to know that something is on fire. <br /><br />So, as a friend, I reveal my suspicions to him, but I couch them in abstractions. We'll launch into a discussion about our marriages, and I talk about how women generally do so and so when causes x and y are at work. Often, I work the cause of an affair into the conversation. It's the only thing I can do to help him.<br /><br />Now, if I had concrete evidence then I'd show him for sure. He's a good guy, and he really doesn't deserve what she puts him through.HKnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-89136589670955748882012-09-01T12:47:27.097-07:002012-09-01T12:47:27.097-07:00Wow. Why ask your advice if she's not going to...Wow. Why ask your advice if she's not going to even consider it? This is such a sad story. Do you think you two will remain close friends?<br /><br />I'm not sure if I'd tell or not. I think it would have to be a case-by-case thing. I'd have to really consider my friend's personality to know if she'd be willing to accept the news.Lusting Lola!https://www.blogger.com/profile/11435548846827420600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-89642117794432509962012-09-01T10:02:56.180-07:002012-09-01T10:02:56.180-07:00Just yesterday a friend of mine was telling me tha...Just yesterday a friend of mine was telling me that she's afraid her husband is having yet another affair. I know for a fact that he is, but I'm certainly not going to be the one to tell her! I guess I feel like these women don't want to know. And, actually, I think it's better that they don't know. Cara Janeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02504722881113275168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-50137192715112034782012-08-31T19:49:39.713-07:002012-08-31T19:49:39.713-07:00I think you handled it corrrectly, and you were ri...I think you handled it corrrectly, and you were right, he is she just doesn't want to face/accept it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-79438210889461335612012-08-31T19:48:21.047-07:002012-08-31T19:48:21.047-07:00I was in the same situation once with my best frie...I was in the same situation once with my best friend. She asked, and I said no, although I know for certain he was cheating....because it was with me.<br /><br />In general though, I think I would stand by not telling. Why be the bad guy?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-69692184675245085762012-08-31T17:44:42.913-07:002012-08-31T17:44:42.913-07:00I wouldn't say anything unless directly asked ...I wouldn't say anything unless directly asked as well. However, if I thought there was a chance my friend would respond like yours, I would probably not tell him/her and instead repond with a vague answerAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15749583417131186763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2524305586058177527.post-44992100782632485692012-08-31T17:29:06.294-07:002012-08-31T17:29:06.294-07:00I would tell ONLY if she asked, but knowing she wo...I would tell ONLY if she asked, but knowing she would probably not talk to me again. If she is a really good friend, I know she would eventually appreciate it. Krazyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17178371265607048712noreply@blogger.com