Going Back for More

I ran into C last night at a community meeting.  I'm referring to C from Afternoon Fun in a Honda Civic. I'd tell you what kind of meeting it was, but I've been told recently that I've been giving too many details about my life and that eventually anyone who knew me would be able to identify me easily by my posts. Trust me, if you knew what kind of meeting this was, this story would go from cute to hilarious, but alas, I must show some restraint.

Anyway......

C lives in the town next to mine. We don't see each other as a matter of course, even though we live fairly close to each other. The fact that we would run into each other at a community meeting is unusual, but I suspected I might see him there since he's involved in the activity that was the topic of the meeting.

Before I go into what happened, let me review who C is. I met him on AM. He has many great features, but the ones that grab you after the first impression are his intelligence, his crazy sense of humor, and his smile. Once you get to know him better, you learn that he's an amazing kisser and a very sensual lover. He has strong shoulders and hands, and arms that make you feel like you're in the safest place on earth when they are wrapped around you. He's an active community member and a great dad - in short, everything about this man is attractive to me.

Well, almost everything. He has a very difficult time getting away to play, and he's monitored so closely by his wife that having an affair with him is nearly impossible. That's what got in the way with us before. There are some men I can take or leave, but I just couldn't take the "so close, but oh so far" thing from a man like C. It's like dangling a very special toy in front of child, but never letting her have it.

But with this meeting coming up, I'd been thinking about C a lot. Would he remember me? I hadn't seen him for well over a year, almost two. If he remembered me, would he talk to me or pretend he didn't know me?  Would he be glad to see me? Would I be able to stay cool or would I attack him in the parking lot after the meeting?

I got to the meeting a few minutes early. I didn't know anyone there and the friend who was supposed to go with me called and cancelled while I was on my way, so I was on my own. I remember walking in and meeting an older woman, and being greeted by several others before the meeting started. I was nervous. I was nervous because I didn't know anyone there and I was nervous about potentially seeing C again.

Here's where it get's weird.  C says that he greeted me when I came in and that I said "Hi" and then turned to talk with someone else.  I don't remember that at all.  In fact, the first time I remember seeing him was during the meeting.  I turned around and saw him and my my breath caught in my throat for a moment. I turned and faced straight ahead again, and I could feel my heart beating hard and fast. I felt flush. Then my clit twitched.

I forced myself to try to pay attention, but it was pointless. I tried to take some notes to focus myself, but that didn't work.  I tried to not turn and look at him again, but I had to. I stole a few quick glances, feeling like a school girl. He had more facial hair than I remembered, but those eyes were the same. I wished I could see him smile, but not much in this meeting was going to cause a smile, so that was unlikely.

There was a break for people to head to a break-out session and I knew that was my chance.  I moved slowly and watched him, then wandered over by him, hoping to catch his eye.  He finally looked at me and said hi.  No smile.  I smiled at said hi, too.  He turned back to the person he was talking to.

Oh geez, I thought.  I'm such an idiot!  That was the clearest "I don't want to know you here" message he could have sent.

I moved quickly to where my group was sitting at the other end of the room, sat down, and tried to focus. Every now and then I glanced over to see him talking with someone. One of the times I looked over, I saw him walk out the door, leaving the meeting.

I won't lie.  I was very disappointed. I had hoped that there'd be a connection between us again.  Then I thought that maybe he'd wait for me in the parking lot, but after the meeting I looked for his car when I walked to mine and it wasn't there.

Then it hit me. Oh my god! I'm going to be seeing him at these meetings every month for the next year! And I wondered how I'd handle pretending I didn't know him and being ignored by someone whose dick had been in my mouth more than a couple times and who used to kiss me like I was the sexiest thing in his world.

Yeah, I was sad as I drove home.  It was hard to act perky when Hubby asked me all sorts of questions about the meeting.

Then, this morning I got to work and an IM danced onto my screen. It was him! That's when I learned that he was acting cool, almost cold, because that's how I acted when I first entered the room. The only problem is that I wasn't acting.  I was so nervous that I wasn't my typical warm and lovable self.

We chatted on and off all day.  He kept me laughing most of the day, reminding me of what I liked so much about him.  As the day wore on, I wanted him more and more. He talked about coming over for 30 minutes or so to chat and...????

I wondered, Can two people pick up again where they left off after many months have passed?

This lifestyle isn't easy. And it can be very confusing. Throughout the day, I had received several text messages from Rotary Guy (all went unanswered), Seattle Guy (if only he lived closer), and Somewhere Man (a dear friend...and it's also too bad he's not close enough for some "benefits"). Nothing at all from JJ.

But what my body is telling me right now isn't confusing at all. In fact, it's very clear. It is glad C is back in the picture. It wants to go back for more.