Why Married and Single Shouldn't Mix

I got a text last night from a guy I haven't heard from for a while. We never met in person, but there was potential at the time or he never would have had my Google Voice number. I didn't even recognize the number; it took me a while to put together who he was.

He's a single guy. Divorced, actually. I know what you're thinking. But Kat, don't you have a rule about no single guys? Well, I used to have that rule, but since I've broken it several times over the years, I now call it a "guideline."

In any event, this single guy texted me last night.  What did he want?  What do you think?  He wanted me to come out to "play."

At 5:30 in the evening.  On Halloween.  After not communicating at all for a long time.

Seriously.

This is a clear example of how married and single folks simply don't mix well together when it comes to the prowling world.

To this single guy, texting someone you haven't talked to for a while to meet for sex is no big deal.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?  To me (a married woman), this is a classic booty call. He might as well have said, "Hey, my blow up sex doll won't inflate properly.  Will you come over and bend over for me?"  Attractive, huh?  Not.

To this single guy, there is nothing unusual about about a booty call at 5:30 p.m.  In my family world, that's when I'm making dinner, checking homework, listening to Hubby tell me about his day, and folding laundry - all at the same time. It's probably the time of day (except for the middle of the night) when my absence would be most conspicuous.

To this single guy, calling for a booty call on Halloween night is not unreasonable. To me, it's the stupidest thing in the world.  I've got kids. This is a children's holiday.  As soon as the dinner rush is over, we head out for trick-or-treat time. Married people know this.  Single guys are oblivious to it.

I understand the attraction that many single men have for married women. We will expect absolutely no long term commitment from them and we will never expect them to marry us.  We're perfect for the commitment-phobic single men of the world....or so they think. What they don't get is that a booty call is not what most of us are looking for.  We're looking for some kind of an emotional connection, too.  To them, even the words "emotional connection" are scary.

They also don't get that a married woman is not going to be available at their beck and call. Satisfying their current sexual need is not high on our priority list. It's probably not on the priority list at all. Family obligations come first, as they should.


This guy never had a chance with me anyway because my heart is firmly in someone else's hands these days, but his approach would have turned me off even if I was crazy horny, dripping wet and seriously in need of a good, hard fucking.

And any man who suggests that a booty call is more important than time with my kids really doesn't get it and deserves to have his number blocked....which is exactly what I did.