Why Married and Single Shouldn't Mix

I got a text last night from a guy I haven't heard from for a while. We never met in person, but there was potential at the time or he never would have had my Google Voice number. I didn't even recognize the number; it took me a while to put together who he was.

He's a single guy. Divorced, actually. I know what you're thinking. But Kat, don't you have a rule about no single guys? Well, I used to have that rule, but since I've broken it several times over the years, I now call it a "guideline."

In any event, this single guy texted me last night.  What did he want?  What do you think?  He wanted me to come out to "play."

At 5:30 in the evening.  On Halloween.  After not communicating at all for a long time.

Seriously.

This is a clear example of how married and single folks simply don't mix well together when it comes to the prowling world.

To this single guy, texting someone you haven't talked to for a while to meet for sex is no big deal.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?  To me (a married woman), this is a classic booty call. He might as well have said, "Hey, my blow up sex doll won't inflate properly.  Will you come over and bend over for me?"  Attractive, huh?  Not.

To this single guy, there is nothing unusual about about a booty call at 5:30 p.m.  In my family world, that's when I'm making dinner, checking homework, listening to Hubby tell me about his day, and folding laundry - all at the same time. It's probably the time of day (except for the middle of the night) when my absence would be most conspicuous.

To this single guy, calling for a booty call on Halloween night is not unreasonable. To me, it's the stupidest thing in the world.  I've got kids. This is a children's holiday.  As soon as the dinner rush is over, we head out for trick-or-treat time. Married people know this.  Single guys are oblivious to it.

I understand the attraction that many single men have for married women. We will expect absolutely no long term commitment from them and we will never expect them to marry us.  We're perfect for the commitment-phobic single men of the world....or so they think. What they don't get is that a booty call is not what most of us are looking for.  We're looking for some kind of an emotional connection, too.  To them, even the words "emotional connection" are scary.

They also don't get that a married woman is not going to be available at their beck and call. Satisfying their current sexual need is not high on our priority list. It's probably not on the priority list at all. Family obligations come first, as they should.


This guy never had a chance with me anyway because my heart is firmly in someone else's hands these days, but his approach would have turned me off even if I was crazy horny, dripping wet and seriously in need of a good, hard fucking.

And any man who suggests that a booty call is more important than time with my kids really doesn't get it and deserves to have his number blocked....which is exactly what I did.

Bulk Mail Booty Call

I received a "booty call" email late last night. That's not uncommon. What is uncommon is that this one was sent by a near stranger and it came as bulk mail.  Let me explain....

Let's call this gentleman Q.  I "met" Q on AM and we had a few short message exchanges on AM and a few get-to-know-you email exchanges. The "relationship" never reached the point where I wanted to chat with him via Messenger or give him my GV cell number for phone calls or text. In short, I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere.  My side of the correspondence stopped soon after it started and his continued with invitations to meet for sex from time to time.  All were ignored and received no response.

But he doesn't give up easily.  That's ok.  I don't mind.  Hitting delete on an email is no big deal.

Last night, however, I received this:

Yes, it's an invitation to meet at his place this weekend. How is this different from all of his other attempts?  This one was sent to multiple recipients! I got a bulk mail, form letter booty call request. Wow.

Let's take  a look at Q's chances of getting lucky with this approach. First, I can say that his chances with me are 0%.  Even if I were not "off the open market," as I am right now, I would not respond positively to this. But what about other women?  Maybe someone won't notice that it was sent to multiple people. Maybe some women like that.  I can't identify with that, but who knows?

What I find particularly interesting is that, from his perspective, he really has nothing to lose, especially if he's sending it to women he's made contact with before who have not met him for sex. With a minimum of effort, he can thrown his line in the water in the direction of several women.  Maybe he'll get lucky. I read the sex blog writing guys talk about how it's simply a numbers game. Hmmm.  I'd be very interested in hearing what some of you men out there think about his approach.

Come to think about it, I think I will respond to his email.  I'm going to ask him to let me know if anyone hooked up with him from that email.  I'd really like to know if the bulk mail booty call approach works for men.

You're welcome, Prowlers. I'm happy to do a little research on your behalf.