Orgasmic

You may not know this, but I love playing Words with Friends. I play with several people, most of them friends in my everyday life, although JJ and I have been playing for years, too.

Well, the other day I was playing with a guy I know locally who is happily married and completely unaware of PWK and the world of Kat.

I played the word 'orgasmic,' and it made me chuckle as I hit "SEND." About 10 seconds later, my phone pinged.  It was a message from him, sent through the app.  It read, "Orgasmic? Really?!  For 69 points?  How did you do that?"

My answer was, "It's a gift. ;-)"

Here's a screen shot:

Yes, you read it right.  That's 69 points. Life is delightful sometimes, isn't it?

The fun part is I know this could have been the first step in a seduction process, but I didn't set the hook. I let him swim away, confused and impressed. I can tell you this, though.  Since then he has played much faster and more often than he ever has before. Some fish just want to be caught.

The Preacher Had a Boner

"Hey, Mom! Did you notice on the movie, The Little Mermaid, that the preacher officiating at the wedding of Ariel and the Prince had a boner?"

I just looked at Little TommyKat with a look that was a cross between surprise and disgust.

"No, I didn't notice, and now I won't be able to help but notice. You just ruined that movie for me. And I don't want to hear about animated boners.  Tell your father."

Something happens when you spend enough time around boys.  Eventually, they forget that you're not one of them and they start to talk to you like you are. Sometimes, it's amusing.  Other times, it makes you fear for the future of the country.

Anyway, so Little TommyKat mentions the Preacher's boner in Little Mermaid, so my brain automatically starts to picture it and tries to remember.  That's when I realized that the image that came to mind wasn't the Preacher's boner.  It was T's, from the last time I was with him. Specifically, the image was of it just before I took it into my mouth after he had arranged us into a 69 position.  He was on top and tilted his hips in such a way that once it was in my mouth, I couldn't take it out. It was one of those blow jobs with almost no lip or hand involvement; it was all tongue, soft palate, and throat. My favorite kind.

But just before I took it into my mouth, I remember how perfect it looked.  Nice and hard, throbbing a bit. I wanted it. Badly.

I've told you before that I'm not a big fan of 69 because I can't stay focused on my end of the deal when something so nice is going on at the other end.  It's an ADHD thing. This was different, though.  Because I couldn't take it out of my mouth, it was easier, and I learned that the closer I came to coming, the harder and deeper I suckled his cock.  He made me come a couple of times that way.  Just thinking about it today made me damp and I started wondering where T was right at that moment.

I looked up from my book and Little TommyKat was just staring at me, smiling.  Apparently, only a second or two had passed.  Then he said, "I know, I know. You only care about Dad's boner, right?"

I closed my book and said, "Of course. Now no more boner talk. It's time for lunch."

Just a Heads Up from Kat about Blow Jobs

I was going to call this post, "10 Things Kat Wants Men to Know about Blow Jobs," until I realized that the simple fact that I wrote it implies that these are things I want you boys to know about blow jobs. Then I thought of calling, "Kat's Advice for Men about Blow Jobs," but I thought all the straight guys out there would think it didn't apply to them, which is not the case. So I asked  a good friend and reader for her ideas, and she and her significant other saved the day.

While I was writing about thoroughly enjoying licking and sucking P's delightful cock (see Like Cool Water in a Desert - Another Naughty Adventure with P), it occurred to me that there are many things men should really know about being recipients of BJs that would make the experience more pleasurable for them and their partners.

I know, you're thinking, "Uh, Kat....what do I need to know? I'm the passive recipient of a BJ.  Women are the ones who need the advice." First of all, if you use the word "passive" in reference to any part of the sex act, I'm glad you're not my lover.  Second, if you don't want to read on, don't. Not everyone is into optimizing pleasure.

Now it's time for my typical disclaimer - Everyone is different.  All women are individuals. So are men. Any set of rules or suggestions is bound to miss the mark for somebody for one reason or another. All I have to offer is the opinion of a woman who has given over 5,000 BJs over the past 25 years.  Oh god, that makes me sound and feel old and used.  To be accurate, the vast majority of those were for Hubby. Also, I have talked with many women about giving BJs.  In short, I've learned a few things.

1. Many women don't like giving blow jobs because they simply don't know how to do it. Women are not just born with this knowledge or skill. For the most part, we come across it through experience and practice. Every once in a while, we ask for guidance (see 10 Tips for Wives to Keep Your Husband from Cheating). The more inadequate a women feels in this area, the less she'll want to do it.  Over time, this attitude becomes more and more entrenched. You may think she does it really well and she has no reason to feel inadequate, but you need to communicate that.
2. Unless you know your lover loves to swallow your cum and doesn't mind it in her mouth, you should probably give a warning when it's coming. Over time, she'll know when you're about to cum, but if she's young or the relationship is new or she hasn't sucked your cock very much, she'll have no way of knowing unless you give her a clue. Unexpected cum in the mouth is one of the biggest BJ turnoffs for women who are new to "the craft."
3. Don't take the gag reflex personally, but learn about it and respect it. FYI- Our throats were not intended to swallow big cocks whole. I know that must be a terrible disappointment to you, but it's just the way it is.  The gag reflex is the body's attempt to forcefully expel from the throat anything it doesn't think should be there. In order for a woman to take your cock into her throat she needs to have learned how to suppress the gag reflex. It's not easy to do. For some women, it's easier to suppress at the beginning of the BJ, but then the throat just closes up when it the body figures out what's happening.  For others, it's easier later in the BJ because they can slowly relax their throat. Trust me, it is in your interest to be sensitive to this and to not force her to take it in her throat if she isn't ready or if she hasn't mastered this skill.  You do so at your own peril. If you don't believe me, ask me to tell you the story of the guy in college who kept forcing it. All I'll tell you now is that I had been drinking - a lot - and my gag reflex kicked in and did it's job and he was not very happy.  He didn't ask me out again, either, but once you've vomited all over a guy's dick you pretty much know the relationship is over.
4. A woman can't cum from giving a BJ. I know you've seen porn flicks in which a woman magically cums and moans with pleasure while giving a BJ.  That's not reality. That's not how female biology works. Now, there may be an unusual woman out there who swears that she can cum while sucking cock. I won't call her a liar, but it's not the case for 99.9999999999% of women. So guys, what this means to you is that if she blows you and you cum, sex isn't over unless you helped her reach orgasm before sliding your cock in her mouth.
5. Small cocks are much easier to suck and please than large ones. The corollary to this is that thin cocks are easier to suck than thick ones. If you have a big cock, you're just going to have to be more patient as your lover learns the logistics of your equipment. Sucking a thick cock for a long time can really make a gal's jaw sore. Also, the act of having to hold her jaw open that wide causes her to be less able to do other things with her toungue, lips, and soft palate. Try it.  Hold your mouth open as wide as you can for a long time and then try to move your lips and tongue in different ways.  Now try it with your mouth open about 3/4 of the way.  Big difference, right?
6. If you want her to spend lots of time on you and not want it overwith right away, be patient with her efforts. Be tolerant if she suddenly stops sucking you the perfect way.  It could be that her jaw is in more pain than she can handle, or maybe she feels her gag reflex kicking and she is doing you a favor by pulling back a bit, or maybe she can't breathe and she's opting to back off a bit before she passes out.
7. Recognize that breath control is an important part of giving good head. If a gal has a cold, she'll have trouble because breathing through the nose is important (I've done it while breathing only through my mouth, but it's difficult and very uncomfortable). Also, you may think that the way you're pumping her head up and down on you really fast is very cool, but if she doesn't get her breathing under control, it's not going to last very long.
8. Giving feedback really helps. Some of you guys are totally silent during the sex act, and that's ok, but it's very difficult for a woman to know if you like the way she's sucking you unless you tell her.  This is especially true for younger women and those with less oral experience, but feedback is helpful for all of us. And I'm not just talking about a breathless, "That was great, Baby" after the fact. The more feedback you give during the act, the better it will be.  "Oh, that's perfect." "Yeah, Baby, just like that." Verbally expressing what you like will make sure you get more of it.
9. A woman can be great at giving oral, but suck at 69. I explained this in detail in my post, Why I Suck at 69.
10. Don't be a jerk. Gee, this little tidbit of advice seems to come up in almost all of my advice lists, doesn't it?  There's a reason for that, ya know. Pushing on a gal's shoulders trying to force her to her knees to suck on you when she's resisting is not sexy. Fucking a gal's mouth so hard that she can't breathe and has to fight her way free is not sexy. Demanding oral when a woman is reluctant because she doesn't know how or she doesn't like it is not sexy. All of these behaviors will make the average woman not be into pleasing you. Remember, if you please her, she'll want to please you.  If she's reluctant to do something to please you, the first place you should look is in the mirror to make sure you're doing as much to please her as you can.

Stepping down from my soapbox now, wondering how long it's going to be until my sweet honey-on-the-side lets me suck his cock again. Mmmm....not soon enough!

Why I Suck at 69

Yes, I know it's a fantasy held by many, and I know that any self respecting naughty Kat should be able to do it and enjoy it, but in the spirit of complete disclosure and honesty I have to admit that I suck at 69. For the less experienced among you, I am referring to mutual oral satisfaction.

It's not that I don't want to be good at it, or that I'm not good at giving oral (because I have been told that I give a world class BJ). The problem is my ADD.  Well, at least I think that's what the problem is.  By ADD I mean Attention Deficit Disorder. I have come to believe that I have a little touch of ADD and that it significantly interferes with my ability to participate in this particular sexual activity.

Here is the specific problem:

If someone is doing a nice job of stimulating me orally "down there," that's where my focus goes. Then there's a cock in my mouth, and that's where my focus goes. I can hang with it for awhile, but eventually one of two things happens: 1) I get totally into the pleasure "down there" and I completely lose focus with what I'm doing with my mouth (yes, I have even forgotten totally, only to realize suddenly, "Oh my!  There's a cock in my mouth!); or 2) I manage to keep my focus on  the lovely toy in my mouth, much to my partner's satisfaction, and I end up ignoring what's going on "down there."  Sometimes, that ignoring becomes annoyance ("I wish he would just stop that for a moment so I can finish up with this lollipop.").

It's really quite sad. When a partner excitedly moves into one of the well-known 69 positions, I am faced with a dilemma.  Should I be honest and say, "I really don't think you want to do that" or should I just go for it and risk making one or both of us frustrated?

I've had partners say that I just need more practice. Honey, I could teach the class. It's not about practice. It's about my ability to maintain focus when faced with this particular variety of multi-tasking.

However, I am an open-minded Kat.  So, fellow Prowlers, any suggestions?  Has anyone else licked this problem (pun intended)?