The Hotel Room (Part1 of 2)

Securing and paying for a hotel room without getting caught is among the most challenging aspects of prowling. Several folks have asked me to share some tips on this topic, so I thought I'd do just that.

Selecting a Hotel

I prefer to pick hotels that are not close to my home or my business. The last thing I need is someone seeing me come or go. That said, there is one hotel in my town that I've used several times. It's on the edge of town and is in a very secluded location. I also like the fact that the parking lot in the rear of the hotel is completely out of view from the street. I haven't used it, though, since the day I walked into the lobby and saw a good friend of my son's behind the counter.

At first I was frozen like a deer in the headlights, but by the time he said, "Hi, Mrs. Kat! What are you doing here?" with a perky and idiotic innocent tone, it came to me (because Kat always lands on her feet). "I'm checking out local hotels because my mom is coming into town for a couple of weeks." He proceed to quote rates and he even offered to show me a room (No, thanks, Honey, I've already seen several). I left a few minutes later, smiling and waving, and grateful that he didn't know my mother had been dead for 5 years.

I also prefer smaller hotels to larger ones.  There are advantages and disadvantages to both. There are usually very few people around in small hotels during the day.  You can usually get in and out without anyone except the desk staff knowing you were there. If you're planning on using the hotel regularly, you'll get to know the desk staff and that makes everything easier once you have moved beyond the embarrassment of knowing that they know why you're there. JJ and I have grown quite comfortable with the Strange Hotel Family and it's nice not to have to explain everything every time we're there (the training of the new generation notwithstanding).

Some prefer larger hotels because of the sense of anonymity. The desk clerks have seen everything before and you are probably not the only couple checking in for some fun that day.

I suggest that you opt for function, rather than romance; however, there is a notable exception.  Gentleman, on the first rendezvous with a lady, go for the romance, pay a little more. Taking her to a cheap Motel 6 because they take cash and don't require a credit card will not be good for you.  Trust me on this.

If you plan ahead, you can check out a hotel and ask to see a room. Make sure it's clean. Make sure it doesn't smell. Check out the condition of the furniture. You may not think the quality and edges (rounded or sharp) of that desk matter, but speaking as someone who frequently ends up sitting on, laying on, or bent over the desk, it matters.

Find out in advance what you'll need for check-in.  Don't be surprised when you show up (OMG, you don't take AmEx? The only other card I have is my wife's PayPal card!).

Acquiring a Room and Checking In

Once you've selected the hotel, you still have to get through the check-in process. I learned from the many prowlers I have talked to that this is probably the most stressful part of the process. Breathe....it's ok....let's walk through it.

Most hotels post check-in times at 2:00, 3:00, or 4:00 in the afternoon. If you need an earlier check-in time, ask in advance as part of your planning ahead activities.  Usually, they will accommodate you if they can.  If they try to charge you for another day, find another hotel.

When you check-in, use your work address, if possible, rather than your home address. The last thing you need is a "Thank you for your stay!" postcard coming to your home. Most places also require that you have a photo ID. If you have another official photo ID that you can use, great.  If not, you'll use your driver's license.  Be sure to ask that they record the address you give them rather than the address on your ID.  If they ask why, your answer is simple, "I don't live there anymore and I haven't gotten around to updating the address on my license."

If you have checked out the place in advance, you may already have a room location preference. If it's a place with side exits at the end of the hallway, you can leave without having to walk through the lobby again. Wouldn't that be nice? If you're going to be on an upper floor, rooms next to the elevator are good because you only have one common-wall neighbor (so you'll feel more comfortable if you or your partner is...uh....very vocal) and those rooms are usually available because people staying the night don't like rooms adjacent to the elevator because of the noise at night. Sometimes you can even get a discount for the elevator rooms. Preferences vary, but it's something to think about.

Gentlemen, it's really nice if you are there before your partner. I can't tell you how much I love it when I show up and JJ is already there with the bed turned down, the air conditioner (or heater) humming, and the curtains drawn. It just makes me feel special, like my presence has been pleasantly anticipated and he cares enough to make the place comfortable for me. That doesn't mean it's not ok to show up together or that there's anything wrong with the gal being there first.

Another tip for the guys - please step up, get over your fears, and handle the room. Don't ask your partner to do it because you are just too nervous the wife will find out. I only mention this because I have been asked prior to a first meeting to secure the room and pay for it, too, because he "just couldn't do it." Fuck that. If you're not man enough to deal with it, then you shouldn't have an affair; now go home to your wife/mommy.

How did I respond to that guy? "Let me get this straight. You are going to get the best blow job of your life, several rounds of hot, no-holds-barred sex, and some witty conversation with a smart woman with a sparkling personality and you want me to get the room and you want me to pay for the room. What the hell is in it for me?" He had no answer. There was no meeting.

This is not to say that the woman should/would never handle the room. JJ and I share the task. It's often all about who gets there first and/or who has enough cash on that day. In the past, sometimes I've handled the room because I had a preference of hotel and I didn't want the guy to have to deal with it that day. But generally speaking, you gentleman need to take care of this.  Is it fair? Probably not. Does fairness matter in this case? No.

I'll address paying for the room (you have lots of options now!) and some other things to consider (check out, tipping,  clean up, etc.) in the next post.

Do you have additional suggestions or tips about selecting a hotel or getting a room?  Did I leave anything out so far? Tell me in the comments.

Ode to a Cheap Hotel Room

Cheap hotel room.
How many secrets and stories could you tell?

How many lovers have fucked here?
How many newly separated spouses have cried here?
How many traveling business men have collapsed exhausted here?
How many children in traveling families have laughed here?
How many homeless have taken refuge here for a night, a week, or longer?

Your features are unmistakable -
The smell of disinfectant greets your guests as they open the door.
Your multicolored bed spread, designed to hide stains, is not fooling anyone.
Your heating/air unit ensures that your guests are either too hot or too cold.
Your walls are so thin that only the illusion of privacy remains.

What happens here is is only whispered.
Secret lovers steal a few hours here, hidden in rooms surrounded by guests who are lonely, wounded, or recovering from life's blows.
They'll leave as quietly as they arrived, leaving a tousled bed as the only evidence that they were here.

Cheap hotel room.
How many secrets and stories could you tell?

Cheaters Getting Caught

I've heard many stories from people about how they were caught by their spouses while prowling. In almost all of these cases, the prowler thought that the spouse had absolutely no idea what was going on and was very surprised to be caught.

Never forget- You must assume that your spouse is smarter than you think s/he is. If you don't, you will undoubtedly end up in trouble.

Here are a few real life stories I've heard of ways people have been caught cheating. Some of these are men I've known personally.  Others are people I've known, either online or in person, who shared what happened to them.

GPS Tracking - One woman told me that she was caught by her husband when he became suspicious and decided to track her via GPS. I don't know if he installed a tracking device in her car or if he simply tracked her via her smart phone, but he tracked her to a hotel where he confronted her.

Phone bill - One man told me that his wife, who never had paid any attention to the cell phone bill before, looked over the cell phone bill and saw hundreds of texts and calls to and from the same number.  Curious, she called the number and a woman answered.  Later, she checked her husband's cell phone, and that number was associated with a woman's name.  That's when she confronted him.

Call log and texts- Another man told me that his wife looked at the call log on his phone and saw a bunch of calls, incoming and outgoing, associated with a woman's name.  While she was looking through his phone, an explicitly naughty text from that woman came through.

Spouse following him - One man recounted how his wife saw him leave work and she followed him, thinking he was going to participate in a recreational activity they enjoyed. When he went to a hotel instead, she confronted him.

Blackmail attempt - One man (if you've been reading this  blog for a while, you know who this is) was blackmailed by one of his fuck buddies who said she would tell his wife everything unless he gave her a certain amount of money. Instead of giving in to the threats, he chose to tell his wife instead so she would hear it from him and not the other woman.

Bodily fluids and scent on clothes in the laundry - One man's wife confronted him while she was doing the laundry after she found some of his clothes that smelled like sex.  As she went through the clothes more carefully, she saw some stained with bodily fluids, too.

Reported by a friend - One woman was enjoying lunch with her lover at a popular restaurant about 20 miles from where she lived. She felt it was safe because it wasn't in her home town, so she and her lover were being particularly demonstrative - holding hands, kissing, etc. What she didn't know was that one of her husband's friends was in the restaurant, too.  He recognized her and witnessed everything.  Then he called her husband.  Her husband confronted her as soon as she got home.

Email - One man accidentally forgot to close and sign out of his email account when he left the house.  His wife went to use the computer and saw a long list of emails from his lover on the screen.  She read them all.  Then she looked at the sent messages and she read all of those. She called him and confronted him over the phone while he was at work.

To the best of my knowledge, all but one of these couples (husband and wife) are still together, but only two of the caught prowlers kept their lovers.

When you add these to all of the stories you've been told and all the things you've read about and seen on TV, you should get the message that it's pretty easy to get caught. Some of these folks were just careless, but others had spouses who were not as stupid as their prowling spouses thought they were.

Have you ever been caught?  What happened? Have you ever known someone who was caught? Please share with us in the comments.

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For some advice to help you avoid being caught, visit our Advice for Prowlers page.

The First Ten Minutes and Two Feet

I was in the room first, and I had plenty of time to change into a black negligee (no panties, of course!) and prepare for his arrival. After I was ready, I had nothing to do but sit and wait, and think about him.

The knock on the door was a welcome sound.  I moved quickly to open it and let him in, standing behind the door so the housekeeper in the hallway cleaning the room across the hall wouldn't see me. He took my breath away as he stepped into the room, and I wondered how that could be possible every single time, but it was. Tall, handsome, perfectly dressed for work, and smiling at me - exactly as I envisioned him throughout the week between our meetings, but now he was here in front of me.

Before the door closed, I stepped around the door, catching a quick glimpse of the maid looking over at us, and put my arms around him as I stood on my tippy-toes to kiss him. Kissing him was like a drug.  I could never get enough, and it was the thing I fantasized about most when we were apart.  After a moment or two, I reached for the door with my foot to swing it shut, not breaking from our kiss so I wouldn't break the focus of the moment.

It wasn't long before I reached down to unbuckle his belt, unfasten his pants, and reached in to feel his hard cock.  He moaned as I slipped my hand around it and started stroking it, still kissing each other deeply, wanting each other badly.

I slipped his pants and undershorts down over his hips, squatting down as I did so I could take his hardness into my mouth. He leaned back against the wall and pressed his hips forward, offering me all of it for sucking and stroking. While I was squatting in front of him, I could feel the cool air on my exposed pussy, and I couldn't help but wish there were two of him - one underneath me for me to ride while I was sucking on the other one of him.

But there was only one of him, of course, and I was stuck with that dilemma I faced every time I was with him. I loved the feeling of his cock in my mouth, sliding against my tongue and probing the back of my throat.  I loved how it got even harder after I thought he couldn't get any harder. I loved the way he caressed my head and petted (and sometimes pulled) my hair and moaned with pleasure. But I also loved the way he felt as he entered me, taking me - sometimes gently, sometimes roughly - pressing all the way into me and then fucking me like only he could.

I knew he had a similar dilemma that played out every week, as well. He'd say he wanted to be inside me, and I'd say, "How do you want me?" In the silence of the pause that followed, I knew he was struggling with the decision - Pussy?  Ass? Mouth?  Sometimes, he'd postpone the decision and put me on my hands and knees, moving behind me and rubbing his cock up and down my wet slit until it seemed to make the decision for him, sliding in wherever it apparently wanted to.

So, after a few minutes of sucking his gorgeous cock, I'd made a decision.  I wanted him inside me.  I stood up and kissed him again, then I motioned toward the bed and said, "Let's go over here."  As I stepped toward the bed, he grabbed my arm, pulled me back, and said, "No. Here."

Still only two feet from the door, he kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his pants, turned me around facing away from him, and pulled my hips back against him as he leaned back against the wall behind him.  I bent over and leaned against the wall in front of me as he easily entered my pussy from behind and started moving his hips slowly. He told me to lean back against him and I felt him even deeper.

I could hear the maid outside talking to someone else in the hallway, which meant she could also hear me moaning and begging for him to fuck me harder, but I didn't care.  All that mattered was him and whatever he wanted right at this moment.

As hot and amazing as the moment was, we had our splashes of comedy, as we always seem to have.  Every now and then his cock would slip out of me, usually just as I was about to cum, because I was so wet.  All that extra time waiting and thinking about him had made it like a slip-n-slide down there, which was good of course, but it was also a challenge in this precarious position.

Then there was the light.  He was leaning against the wall right where the light switch was, so as he moved while he was fucking me, he'd accidentally flip the light switch on...then off....then on again a little later...and off. I'd laugh and move forward a bit and then - slip - oops! - he'd pull me back and slide inside me again, which would completely refocus me, until the light switched on - or off - again. LOL. Having a lover with ADD can be a challenge, as he has learned.

Eventually, I could feel the pleasure start to shoot up my back and nothing could have taken my focus away at that point.

He groaned loudly, grabbed my hips, and thrust into me deeply and forcefully, and.....

Well, you know.....

We had another three hours together that afternoon and a king size bed and large hotel room to use, but the tone was set by that first ten minutes and two feet.

The Strange Hotel Guy

One of the most awkward situations facing new prowlers is dealing with hotel desk clerks. If there were any way that we could do what we do without having to deal with a single extra human being (other than a sexy prowling buddy, of course), we would, but unless you have a private love nest, you have to deal with hotel desk clerks like the rest of us.

I've made no secret of my opinion that most hotel clerks are either stupid or they act like they are stupid. If you are a hotel clerk, please forgive me. You may be the single exception.

I've had a variety of experiences with hotel clerks, but I had one recently that was very unusual, and a little comical, and definitely worth sharing.

I was meeting JJ for a nice afternoon rendezvous and I arrived at the hotel first, so I decided I would get the room this time.

I walked up to the desk and asked the man standing there if they had any available rooms (I already knew the answer). As he started looking up a room on his glacially slow computer, I pulled out my driver's license and credit card (yes, one that my husband isn't aware of and that does not send a bill to my home) and put them on the desk.  The clerk reached out and grabbed them without even looking at me.  So far, so good.  We seem to both know what we're doing.

Then I asked if he would please use my business address instead of the address on my ID. The reason for this is obvious, I don't want a "Thank you for staying at Hotel XYZ" postcard arriving in my mailbox at home for my husband to see. The clerk stopped what he was doing and looked up at me for the first time.

"Sure," he said. "What address would you like me to use?"

I rattled off my work address. After he wrote it down, he looked up at me again and said, "Don't worry.  Everything here is very confidential." Oh well, what I'm doing here is clearly no secret to this guy.

Then he asked with a devious little smile on his face, "How many adults will be in the room?"

I played along, "Two." He smiled.

"Will there be any children with you?"

Is he serious? I responded simply, "What do you think?"

He laughed, "I guess not."

At this point I wasn't sure if I should be amused or if this felt creepy.

"How many beds would you like? A king? Or two queens?"

"I don't think we'll need more than one," I replied.

He smiled and looked up at me again.  Okay, I've decided, it's creepy.

He asked for a phone number, and I told him my cell number (more specifically, I gave him my Google Voice number).  He then asked, "Is that a home number or a cell number?"  I didn't answer. I just stared at him in disbelief. Really?  Did he have to ask?

He chuckled a bit, printed out the registration form and slid it across the counter to me, along with my ID and credit card. I put the cards away, grabbed the pen, and looked at the form. I pointed at the address and looked  up at him with a raised eyebrow because my home address was listed on the form. He reached out and put his hand on top of mine, leaned over the counter to get closer to me, and said in a gentle voice, "Don't worry.  I told you this is completely confidential. I'm the manager.  I'll black that out so no one will see it."

I was looking directly in his eyes at this point, trying to assess the depth of the creep factor, and that's when I noticed it.

He was very attractive. I smiled.  He smiled. His fingers slid up my wrist a bit.

Then reality slapped me hard.  Holy shit! What are you doing, Kat?  I pulled my hand off the counter, moved the form to the side and signed it very quickly. I started digging in my purse pretending that I was looking for something so it didn't appear obvious that I didn't want to look at him anymore.

Within a minute, the paperwork was done, he handed me two keys, told me the room number, and I was out of there. I walked quickly out the front door because I needed to get a few things out of my car. Just as I stepped outside, JJ drove into the parking lot. I sighed a deep sigh of relief. Now I wouldn't have to walk back in there and go to the room by myself.

I greeted JJ at his car and gave him a big hug and a kiss. The strange hotel guy was not on my mind anymore. We walked through the lobby and down the hallway.  I noticed that the guy was behind the desk and he said something like, "Have a nice afternoon," but I ignored him and kept my eyes on JJ.

Have a nice afternoon?  Oh yeah, we did.