It was almost 1:00 when I drove into the hotel parking lot. As I did, it occurred to me that I'd been there many times, so many times that this had become a very comfortable place for me, in spite of the fact that Strange Hotel Guy still creeped me out a little. I had just sent JJ a text telling him I was almost there, and before I could get a reply, I saw his car in the parking lot.
I pulled in to the space next to him. By the time I got out of my car, he was standing next to me, reaching out to give me a big hug and one of his amazing, deep kisses. All I could think about at that moment was how much I had missed him. To put it bluntly, our work schedules sucked. Seeing him once every few weeks was simply not enough.
But that didn't matter at that moment. What mattered then was that he was here and I was here and I was in his arms and his tongue was in my mouth and.....holy heck! We were making out in the parking lot, in full view of anyone who happened to pass by. Being comfortable in a place is not always a good thing. As we walked quickly toward the lobby, he slipped his hand into mine, and I thought about how natural and comfortable it felt to be with him. No matter how much time passed in-between meetings, it felt like we just picked up where we left off.
When we got to the front desk, guess who was there? Yup. Strange Hotel Guy. JJ pulled out some cash and asked if we could just pay cash without running a credit card - brilliant! We were such regulars that the guy would be stupid to say no. He said yes and he started typing in the computer. It dawned on me that we had been coming here many months, but Strange Hotel Guy had not gotten any better at working the damn computer. He eventually finished and gave JJ a key card. Finally!
We were chatting as we walked down the hallway and entered the room. I couldn't wait to kiss him again and get him out of those clothes, but I also wanted to talk with him and catch up with what was going on in his life. We kept talking as we walked over to the bed, but clothes started coming off as we walked. First his shirt. Then my pants. His jeans. My panties.
He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me toward him. No more talking. The kisses were gentle at first, then more and more demanding. His hands, which were on the small of my back, started sliding along my body - up my back, down my leg, over my behind. Then one slowly slipped between my legs as his knee nudged my legs apart.
I gasped as he touched me. It had been so long and I didn't fully know how much I had missed him until that moment. He moaned a little and whispered, "Mmmm.....so wet. Very nice," before I interrupted him with my kiss. He fingered me perfectly - another benefit of knowing someone so well. He knew exactly what I wanted and how I liked it. I was still standing in front of him; my legs became unsteady as I became more and more aroused. I held onto his shoulders for support, and he whispered, "Come for me." He knows his voice is 50% of what drives me over the edge so it seemed unfair that he said that right then because I wanted it to last a little longer, but I couldn't control it. Less than a minute later I was shaking, screaming into his mouth as we kissed, begging him not to stop.
I could feel him smiling, pleased and amused at the power he had over me. I was still coming as he whispered, "That's my good girl." I moaned gratefully and kissed him some more.
After he was certain I was finished, he stood up, pulled off his underwear, and moved behind me. He quickly put his hand on the back of my neck, pushing me forward, bending me over the side of the bed. I smiled at his urgency, and I spread my legs slightly and went up on my tippy toes (necessary because he's so tall and I'm so short) as I leaned forward, steadying myself on the bed.
My knees were still unsteady as he entered me, driving forward and pulling me back onto him at the same time. We both moaned. A wave of thoughts washed over my mind in those first few seconds. How is it possible that it's always this good, every time? I could do this for a long, long, time. Why do I let so much time go by in between meetings? Damn, this feels so good.
The pleasure soon overpowered my thoughts and I couldn't think at all. I grabbed onto the bed coverings and tried to press back against him as he fucked me. Each stroke was hard and deep and filled me completely. Just as I started to relax into it, I felt myself start to cum again. It startled me; I hadn't expected to cum again so quickly. I could feel his cock harden even more inside me, and I knew that he'd be cuming soon. I started rocking back against him faster, hoping that I could bring myself over the edge again before him. Just as I started to cum, he did, driving hard inside me and holding. I kept moving, reaching for it.....I just needed a few... more... seconds.
Got it. I pushed back against him one more time, shuddering. I could hear a little chuckle in his moaning right then. I was a little embarrassed......such a slut working so hard to steal one more orgasm before he pulled out of me. He leaned over and kissed my back as he always did. I loved that.....such a gentle acknowledgement of what we had just shared.
We both climbed onto the bed and collapsed. I rolled over next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. We stayed that way, quietly, for several minutes. I can't remember who spoke first, but we started talking and catching up on our lives. He told me about his wife, his work. I told him about my family, my work. We chatted about the newest iPhone news, the blog, plans for the next few weeks.
And we kissed. Hundreds of kisses. We'd kiss in between topics. He'd talk, and I'd kiss his neck. I'd talk, and he'd kiss my neck, then my breast. I stroked his cock while he talked. If it started to soften, I stroked it some more. Even our casual conversation became sensuous, part of the sexual experience.
We looked at he clock. We didn't have much time this time, only about an hour and a half, and an hour of that was already gone. He kissed my neck and whispered, "I want you one more time before we have to go." He got no argument from me.
He got up on his knees and knelt behind me. I rolled over and got up onto my knees as well and then leaned forward. As he took me again, I had more time to enjoy the sensations and the effect of different movements. Always the gentleman, he waited until I came before releasing and surrendering to his pleasure.
We curled up together again for a few moments, until we both knew we had to go. This is always the saddest time because we both want to stay. Neither of us wants to leave. I always think about what would happen if I didn't go back to my life right at that moment. Would it be so bad if I just stole the day and stayed in his arms for a few more hours? But I know we can't stay.
We get up, get cleaned up, get dressed. We each pull out our phones to check our schedules and see when we can meet again. We found a day and time that would work the next week. For some reason, that eases the sting of separating now.
We both look around the room to make sure we have everything. Phone, keys, sunglasses. Check. He takes my hand and we leave the room. We both say goodbye to Strange Hotel Guy as we walk through the lobby. This is a far cry from those early days when we were nervous and didn't make eye contact with him.
We walk into the parking lot and over to our cars, and our afternoon together ends as it began, with his arms around me as we kiss by my car door.
Five minutes later, we are both in our cars driving in opposite directions on the freeway, and all I can think about is our plan for next week. Checking in with JJ is always a pleasure.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Scary Kat Stories
Happy Halloween! I was about to let this holiday pass with no post because Dauntless did such a nice job with Madison's Return, but Cara sent me a message asking about a Halloween post. I got to thinking... I could write about different costumes I've worn or role paying, but the more I thought, the more it occurred to me that I've had more than enough scary stories to share.
Scary stories. I'm talking about prowling experiences gone bad. If you have been out there for more than 5 minutes, you probably have a scary story or two (or three or four) of your own.
Selfish BJ Guy - This guy and I had met a few times. Not much happened. We chatted, kissed a little. Then I made what turned out to be a huge mistake - I gave him a blow job. Normally, I wouldn't think of that as a mistake, but this time it created a monster. This guy wasn't interested in much else, which made him very un-interesting to me. I thought I had extricated myself from the situation politely, but then a couple of months later he just shows up....at my office.....during business hours....expecting a BJ. I can't even begin to describe that moment of panic when someone from my prowling world shows up in my real life unannounced and threatening to expose me if I don't comply with what he wants. After I collected myself, I walked him outside and reminded him that I knew where he worked, and his full name, and his wife's name, and that I could do just as much damage to him as he could do to me. He suddenly decided that he should go. Smart move.
Parking Lot Guy - This guy and I had met just a few times prior to this scary event. He seemed like a nice guy. I had no reason to be afraid of him. Then one day I met him for lunch to tell him that I couldn't see him anymore. What I didn't tell him was that I had just met JJ and, well, you all know how I feel about JJ. Anyway, I thought the lunch and the conversation went well. We walked out to the parking lot to where my car was parked right next to his van. I turned to give him a goodbye hug, but he had something different in mind. He started kissing me, rubbing against me, holding me next to him. For a moment I thought it was just an overzealous goodbye kiss, but I soon realized that it was more than that. I struggled to push him away, but he wasn't having any of that, and he started groping me and ranting and raving about what a whore I was and how I had promised him a long term sexual relationship, blah, blah, blah.
I finally pushed him away enough to slip out from between him and my car, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. As I turned to face him and tell him to let me go, he hit me. Yup, that's right. He hit me. Closed fist, right on the jaw as he yelled, "Bitch!" He got in his van and drove away, and I collected myself, got off the ground, got in car, and drove away. So much for the conversation going well.
Panicked about STDs Guy - I met this guy online, as I met most of my prowling buddies. We chatted and emailed online and shared phone calls for what seemed like a long time before we actually met in person. This was before my experience with Parking Lot Guy, but I really didn't want a one time hook-up. I was looking for a friend, a long term fuck buddy kind of relationship, and this guy seemed like he could be it. Seriously, everything seemed right. We arranged to meet for coffee. That went well. He asked about my past relationships. I told the truth. We decided to meet for some more intimate fun. We met and we both had a great time. I mean it. It was very, very good.
As we were walking to the parking lot after, we were making arrangements for our next meeting. Then I kissed him goodbye and I got into my car. I rolled down the window because he indicated he wanted to say something else, and he asked me a question about STDs. I replied that I was just tested a few weeks ago and I was clean, and I hadn't been with anyone since then. He got a strange look on his face and then he got in his car and drove away. Within an hour, I got an email from him calling me a liar because, in his opinion, the fact that I was tested meant that I was afraid I might have been exposed, and he felt I lied to him about that and he could never have a relationship with a liar. Huh? He instructed me not to attempt to reach him again.
Disappearing Guy - This isn't one guy, but a whole bunch of guys. They are the ones who start email correspondence and then just drop out of sight. They are the ones who seem interested, set up a time to meet, and then don't comunicate at all after that. They are the ones who hook up and disappear.
Falling in Love Guy - Nothing screws up a nice fuck buddy relationship faster than falling in love. That sounds terribly jaded, doesn't it? Well, I have nothing against love or falling in love. In fact, I'm all for it, but only if the "don't even ask me to leave my spouse" arrangement remains in place. You all know I love my current honey very much. It works because there's no pressure to leave my husband, who I also love very much. Every now and then over the years I have run into Falling in Love Guys. Things start out great and then before I know it, they are asking me to leave my family. WTF????
Stalker Guy - Most women in the prowling world have met at least one Stalker Guy. This is the guy who won't take no for an answer. He calls, texts, and emails obsessively. He shows up unannounced. He tells you that he is certain that you belong together. Sometimes it just stays at that level, but sometimes he gets angry and starts threatening to hurt you or tell your husband if you don't sleep with him. Sometimes you see him parked outside your office or your home just watching you. My Stalker Guy was named Joe, and yes, I called the police.
I have a few more scary stories, but I think this is enough for one Halloween.
So, what are your scary prowling stories?
Scary stories. I'm talking about prowling experiences gone bad. If you have been out there for more than 5 minutes, you probably have a scary story or two (or three or four) of your own.
Selfish BJ Guy - This guy and I had met a few times. Not much happened. We chatted, kissed a little. Then I made what turned out to be a huge mistake - I gave him a blow job. Normally, I wouldn't think of that as a mistake, but this time it created a monster. This guy wasn't interested in much else, which made him very un-interesting to me. I thought I had extricated myself from the situation politely, but then a couple of months later he just shows up....at my office.....during business hours....expecting a BJ. I can't even begin to describe that moment of panic when someone from my prowling world shows up in my real life unannounced and threatening to expose me if I don't comply with what he wants. After I collected myself, I walked him outside and reminded him that I knew where he worked, and his full name, and his wife's name, and that I could do just as much damage to him as he could do to me. He suddenly decided that he should go. Smart move.
Parking Lot Guy - This guy and I had met just a few times prior to this scary event. He seemed like a nice guy. I had no reason to be afraid of him. Then one day I met him for lunch to tell him that I couldn't see him anymore. What I didn't tell him was that I had just met JJ and, well, you all know how I feel about JJ. Anyway, I thought the lunch and the conversation went well. We walked out to the parking lot to where my car was parked right next to his van. I turned to give him a goodbye hug, but he had something different in mind. He started kissing me, rubbing against me, holding me next to him. For a moment I thought it was just an overzealous goodbye kiss, but I soon realized that it was more than that. I struggled to push him away, but he wasn't having any of that, and he started groping me and ranting and raving about what a whore I was and how I had promised him a long term sexual relationship, blah, blah, blah.
I finally pushed him away enough to slip out from between him and my car, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. As I turned to face him and tell him to let me go, he hit me. Yup, that's right. He hit me. Closed fist, right on the jaw as he yelled, "Bitch!" He got in his van and drove away, and I collected myself, got off the ground, got in car, and drove away. So much for the conversation going well.
Panicked about STDs Guy - I met this guy online, as I met most of my prowling buddies. We chatted and emailed online and shared phone calls for what seemed like a long time before we actually met in person. This was before my experience with Parking Lot Guy, but I really didn't want a one time hook-up. I was looking for a friend, a long term fuck buddy kind of relationship, and this guy seemed like he could be it. Seriously, everything seemed right. We arranged to meet for coffee. That went well. He asked about my past relationships. I told the truth. We decided to meet for some more intimate fun. We met and we both had a great time. I mean it. It was very, very good.
As we were walking to the parking lot after, we were making arrangements for our next meeting. Then I kissed him goodbye and I got into my car. I rolled down the window because he indicated he wanted to say something else, and he asked me a question about STDs. I replied that I was just tested a few weeks ago and I was clean, and I hadn't been with anyone since then. He got a strange look on his face and then he got in his car and drove away. Within an hour, I got an email from him calling me a liar because, in his opinion, the fact that I was tested meant that I was afraid I might have been exposed, and he felt I lied to him about that and he could never have a relationship with a liar. Huh? He instructed me not to attempt to reach him again.
Disappearing Guy - This isn't one guy, but a whole bunch of guys. They are the ones who start email correspondence and then just drop out of sight. They are the ones who seem interested, set up a time to meet, and then don't comunicate at all after that. They are the ones who hook up and disappear.
Falling in Love Guy - Nothing screws up a nice fuck buddy relationship faster than falling in love. That sounds terribly jaded, doesn't it? Well, I have nothing against love or falling in love. In fact, I'm all for it, but only if the "don't even ask me to leave my spouse" arrangement remains in place. You all know I love my current honey very much. It works because there's no pressure to leave my husband, who I also love very much. Every now and then over the years I have run into Falling in Love Guys. Things start out great and then before I know it, they are asking me to leave my family. WTF????
Stalker Guy - Most women in the prowling world have met at least one Stalker Guy. This is the guy who won't take no for an answer. He calls, texts, and emails obsessively. He shows up unannounced. He tells you that he is certain that you belong together. Sometimes it just stays at that level, but sometimes he gets angry and starts threatening to hurt you or tell your husband if you don't sleep with him. Sometimes you see him parked outside your office or your home just watching you. My Stalker Guy was named Joe, and yes, I called the police.
I have a few more scary stories, but I think this is enough for one Halloween.
So, what are your scary prowling stories?
Madison's Return Continued
For those that are new, you may want to read the first half of Madison’s Return before continuing. Enjoy.
--DauntlessD
___________
After receiving her unexpected text message Madison and I caught up a little on the phone and arranged a time to meet. I hadn't seen her in person for quite some time and was very much looking forward to it. The week leading up to our date had progressed slowly with work and the general turmoil of my life. Finally, as if the time would never come, I’m packing up and heading to the restaurant.
Striding through the back entrance I find that Madison had just arrived too. She's rounding the bar eyes scanning looking for me. Our eyes meet with recognition and our faces glow with joy.
She's attractive as I remember, hips swaying as she strolls toward me on her high-heel shoes. I drink in the lovely summery dress and make a point not to let my eyes linger too long on her beckoning cleavage; I don’t want to miss out on those beautiful sky blue eyes.
After a quick hug and a cheeky hello kiss we sit at the bar. I had nearly forgotten how much I simply enjoy being with Madison. I am still surprised at how easy she is to talk to. The mildly awkward silences that seem to occur when building new relationships were filled with light touches, lingering stares and sweet kisses; I enjoyed every moment of it.
The evening comes to a close and finally I have Madison in my arms next to her car. Comfortable. Safe. I’m struck with the easy feeling that she simply belongs in my embrace. Friendly caresses and light good-bye kisses are soon overwhelmed by a longing that surprises us both.
Madison breaths me into deep long lingering kiss. My hands roam over her body to cup her face. Together our hearts quicken to match the burgeoning arousal; the gate was open and didn't want to close. I’m kissing her neck, tasting her skin. She throws a leg around me and writhes as my hand glides up her thigh. She twists around in my arms grabbing my hands, guiding them to her breasts. I pull her tightly to me and she moans wriggling her ass against my now swollen cock.
I turn and press Madison to her car, we’re both trying to convince each other to slow down. Her leg is still wrapped around me and the sexual energy is thick in the air. With effort and more soft lingering kisses the once runaway train is slowly brought to a stop. Panting, battling our inner desires, we slowly untangle our embrace.
Yes, it was good to have her back.
--DauntlessD
___________
After receiving her unexpected text message Madison and I caught up a little on the phone and arranged a time to meet. I hadn't seen her in person for quite some time and was very much looking forward to it. The week leading up to our date had progressed slowly with work and the general turmoil of my life. Finally, as if the time would never come, I’m packing up and heading to the restaurant.
Striding through the back entrance I find that Madison had just arrived too. She's rounding the bar eyes scanning looking for me. Our eyes meet with recognition and our faces glow with joy.
She's attractive as I remember, hips swaying as she strolls toward me on her high-heel shoes. I drink in the lovely summery dress and make a point not to let my eyes linger too long on her beckoning cleavage; I don’t want to miss out on those beautiful sky blue eyes.
After a quick hug and a cheeky hello kiss we sit at the bar. I had nearly forgotten how much I simply enjoy being with Madison. I am still surprised at how easy she is to talk to. The mildly awkward silences that seem to occur when building new relationships were filled with light touches, lingering stares and sweet kisses; I enjoyed every moment of it.
The evening comes to a close and finally I have Madison in my arms next to her car. Comfortable. Safe. I’m struck with the easy feeling that she simply belongs in my embrace. Friendly caresses and light good-bye kisses are soon overwhelmed by a longing that surprises us both.
Madison breaths me into deep long lingering kiss. My hands roam over her body to cup her face. Together our hearts quicken to match the burgeoning arousal; the gate was open and didn't want to close. I’m kissing her neck, tasting her skin. She throws a leg around me and writhes as my hand glides up her thigh. She twists around in my arms grabbing my hands, guiding them to her breasts. I pull her tightly to me and she moans wriggling her ass against my now swollen cock.
I turn and press Madison to her car, we’re both trying to convince each other to slow down. Her leg is still wrapped around me and the sexual energy is thick in the air. With effort and more soft lingering kisses the once runaway train is slowly brought to a stop. Panting, battling our inner desires, we slowly untangle our embrace.
Yes, it was good to have her back.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Saturday Serial - A New World
Life threw me a curve ball and it has been some time since I posted the last chapter. I hope to be more regular with my Saturday Serial posts from this point forward. For those that have been been following, you may want a refresher. The last post was called Searching. To start at the beginning go to Morning Heartache.
For those that are new Saturday Serial, it is an ongoing saga of fiction that is not quite fiction.; I'm drawing from events within my own life and weaving them into a story. At this point we have three characters introduced, Danny, Rachel and Becka. Danny is loosely me, Rachel is Danny's wife and Becka is someone Danny may or may not get to know. Enjoy.
--DauntlessD
_______
Danny arrives at work with minutes to spare. Pulling the emergency brake he turns the key to shutdown the engine. The 20 year old Datsun pickup's engine slows and begins to sputter. Leaving the vehicle in gear Danny eases the clutch out slowly to force the engine to stop, he had learned this trick to prevent it from backfiring. Grabbing his red vest off of the bench seat he hops out and heads toward the store.
After moving his small family back from Las Vegas Danny had decided on a career change. Having always been good with his hands he enjoyed carpentry, but he found doing it full time as a job just didn't agree with him. He viewed Home Warehouse as a stepping stone to something else. Assuming the mantle of "employee" he slips the vest on and takes his place at the Special Orders station.
The day creeps by slowly. As each customer comes to him with the same tired questions his mind is on meeting his new friends. Over the past few weeks Danny had discovered a number of local online forums. One in particular called, Red Light Underground, he had grown to like several people he had met. Yes, it was somewhat of a singles forum -- well maybe swingers forum was more accurate -- but bottom line the people were fun. Men had to pay to join and women were free and it worked; there were roughly the same number of women as men. Danny was married but nobody asked or cared, they were just there for fun.
While getting to know people and enjoying the group chat sessions a get together was arranged. An open invitation was set to meet at Anne's, a quaint bar at the edge of a Sacramento suburb. Danny was in luck. Rachel, his wife, had left to visit her parents and would be gone for the night.
His shift finally ends and Danny removes his vest and heads for his pickup. Pumping the gas pedal twice and turning the key the engine sputters to life; his little truck is old but reliable. Backing out of the parking space he steers the vehicle to the street and heads toward Roseville, Anne's Saloon and adventure.
For those that are new Saturday Serial, it is an ongoing saga of fiction that is not quite fiction.; I'm drawing from events within my own life and weaving them into a story. At this point we have three characters introduced, Danny, Rachel and Becka. Danny is loosely me, Rachel is Danny's wife and Becka is someone Danny may or may not get to know. Enjoy.
--DauntlessD
_______
Danny arrives at work with minutes to spare. Pulling the emergency brake he turns the key to shutdown the engine. The 20 year old Datsun pickup's engine slows and begins to sputter. Leaving the vehicle in gear Danny eases the clutch out slowly to force the engine to stop, he had learned this trick to prevent it from backfiring. Grabbing his red vest off of the bench seat he hops out and heads toward the store.
After moving his small family back from Las Vegas Danny had decided on a career change. Having always been good with his hands he enjoyed carpentry, but he found doing it full time as a job just didn't agree with him. He viewed Home Warehouse as a stepping stone to something else. Assuming the mantle of "employee" he slips the vest on and takes his place at the Special Orders station.
The day creeps by slowly. As each customer comes to him with the same tired questions his mind is on meeting his new friends. Over the past few weeks Danny had discovered a number of local online forums. One in particular called, Red Light Underground, he had grown to like several people he had met. Yes, it was somewhat of a singles forum -- well maybe swingers forum was more accurate -- but bottom line the people were fun. Men had to pay to join and women were free and it worked; there were roughly the same number of women as men. Danny was married but nobody asked or cared, they were just there for fun.
While getting to know people and enjoying the group chat sessions a get together was arranged. An open invitation was set to meet at Anne's, a quaint bar at the edge of a Sacramento suburb. Danny was in luck. Rachel, his wife, had left to visit her parents and would be gone for the night.
His shift finally ends and Danny removes his vest and heads for his pickup. Pumping the gas pedal twice and turning the key the engine sputters to life; his little truck is old but reliable. Backing out of the parking space he steers the vehicle to the street and heads toward Roseville, Anne's Saloon and adventure.
Friday, October 28, 2011
The Message
My phone vibrates. I know it's you, but I can't look at the message right now. He's sitting right next to me. I'm hoping he didn't hear the buzzing sound because if he did, I know he'll suspect something.
He's watching. I don't reach for the phone. I act like it doesn't matter to me at all, but my heart is pounding in my chest. Hearing from you is like a drug for me. I haven't seen you for what seems like a long, long time. Messages from you are all I have to keep me connected to you. And I just know that there is one waiting for me right now, 12 inches away, but I can't look at it. Not yet.
I wonder what it says. Will it be a simple and casual, "Hey" or something more substantial? It really doesn't matter what it says. What matters is that it's from you. You have reached out to connect, reminding me that I'm still important in your life, that in the middle of your busy evening, when you can't be caught sending a message, you take the chance to steal a moment to let me know you're thinking of me. I marvel at how you can pack so much thought, intention, and emotion into a few words.
We haven't had time to communicate much for several days, and I really do miss you. Several things have happened that I have wanted to tell you about, but they will have to wait until we have time. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to find enough time to catch up on all the things that come up in between our conversations. Heck, I'm ok with just sitting with you and not saying anything (yes, I know you must be chuckling right now at the thought of me not saying anything. Haha). The touch of your hand speaks clearly to me.
Even when you don't speak, I hear you.
He stands up and walks to the back of the house to get something. I wait until he's far down the hall and I hear our bedroom door open before I reach for the phone and check the message quickly.
I sigh. That's just what I needed to lift me out of the malaise I've been in. Like a cool drink of water on a hot summer's day, your message calms and refreshes me.
I quickly type out a reply. As I hit send, I hear his footsteps coming back toward the living room. I put the phone back exactly where it was before he left, and return to reading my Kindle. I try not to smile, but the happiness I feel at hearing from you is practically bubbling out of me. I decide to let it out, so I smile and laugh, pretending that I just read something very funny.
"Good book, huh?" he asks.
"Very good," I reply.
I stare at the page, smiling, but I'm not reading. I'm thinking about you. I'm wondering what you are doing right now. I'm remembering how you looked sitting across the table at that coffee place, sipping iced tea and telling me about some of the things going on in your life. I could have sat there just looking at you for a few hours more that day, but we both had to go.
Sometimes I wish that we could have the time to just hang out together and enjoy each other's company, but time is a rare luxury for us. Every moment we carve out for each other is stolen from someone or something else - work, family, friends, hobbies - so we usually spend our time with each other in minutes, rather than hours - minutes like the one stolen for the message you just sent. Our relationship has been built over many months of a few minutes at a time.
My thoughts of you are interrupted by him telling me he's going to get some ice cream. As he goes to the kitchen, I reach for the phone. I'll have time to send you a short message while he's gone. As soon as I pick up the phone, it vibrates again.
I smile, inside and out.
It's another message from you.
He's watching. I don't reach for the phone. I act like it doesn't matter to me at all, but my heart is pounding in my chest. Hearing from you is like a drug for me. I haven't seen you for what seems like a long, long time. Messages from you are all I have to keep me connected to you. And I just know that there is one waiting for me right now, 12 inches away, but I can't look at it. Not yet.
I wonder what it says. Will it be a simple and casual, "Hey" or something more substantial? It really doesn't matter what it says. What matters is that it's from you. You have reached out to connect, reminding me that I'm still important in your life, that in the middle of your busy evening, when you can't be caught sending a message, you take the chance to steal a moment to let me know you're thinking of me. I marvel at how you can pack so much thought, intention, and emotion into a few words.
We haven't had time to communicate much for several days, and I really do miss you. Several things have happened that I have wanted to tell you about, but they will have to wait until we have time. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to find enough time to catch up on all the things that come up in between our conversations. Heck, I'm ok with just sitting with you and not saying anything (yes, I know you must be chuckling right now at the thought of me not saying anything. Haha). The touch of your hand speaks clearly to me.
Even when you don't speak, I hear you.
He stands up and walks to the back of the house to get something. I wait until he's far down the hall and I hear our bedroom door open before I reach for the phone and check the message quickly.
I sigh. That's just what I needed to lift me out of the malaise I've been in. Like a cool drink of water on a hot summer's day, your message calms and refreshes me.
I quickly type out a reply. As I hit send, I hear his footsteps coming back toward the living room. I put the phone back exactly where it was before he left, and return to reading my Kindle. I try not to smile, but the happiness I feel at hearing from you is practically bubbling out of me. I decide to let it out, so I smile and laugh, pretending that I just read something very funny.
"Good book, huh?" he asks.
"Very good," I reply.
I stare at the page, smiling, but I'm not reading. I'm thinking about you. I'm wondering what you are doing right now. I'm remembering how you looked sitting across the table at that coffee place, sipping iced tea and telling me about some of the things going on in your life. I could have sat there just looking at you for a few hours more that day, but we both had to go.
Sometimes I wish that we could have the time to just hang out together and enjoy each other's company, but time is a rare luxury for us. Every moment we carve out for each other is stolen from someone or something else - work, family, friends, hobbies - so we usually spend our time with each other in minutes, rather than hours - minutes like the one stolen for the message you just sent. Our relationship has been built over many months of a few minutes at a time.
My thoughts of you are interrupted by him telling me he's going to get some ice cream. As he goes to the kitchen, I reach for the phone. I'll have time to send you a short message while he's gone. As soon as I pick up the phone, it vibrates again.
I smile, inside and out.
It's another message from you.
Madison's Return
Daunt? What the heck to you mean, Madison is returning? The last I heard she was already here?
Ahh yes, that’s right you all don’t know! You see, the story you read in my last post happened nearly 8 months ago. Madison and I had a lovely first meeting and we continued to talk... then... life seemed to get in the way. Our contact with each other diminished, scheduling attempts at meetings waned, and things just seemed to die. For nearly five months I had had no word from Madison and then... Oops! Never mind I don’t want to ruin the story for you so read on!
__________
Chatting with Wil, I pull open the door and walk into the Mongolian barbecue restaurant we go to for lunch on occasion. We step in line to wait our turn, Wil is describing a new programming library he has been playing with. I idly pull my mobile phone from my pocket pushing the button to light the screen.
Are you around? I know it's been a long time. How are you?
Madison. Seeing the text actually causes me to sway in surprise. Wil's chatter and the cacophony of the restaurant lunch crowd go silent, I am suddenly very alone with my thoughts. Quietly I stare at the text message with only the steady drum of my heart.
It had been a long time since I had spoken with Madison. She had gone on vacation with her husband and then drifted away. I had assumed that she was trying to refocus effort on her marriage and that her husband was likely making an effort too. If that was the case I didn't want to insert himself and be a disruption. When I stopped hearing from her I silently wished her the best and hoped she was well.
Now, she was back. Some overwhelming force within me had caused me to start searching for... something -- I didn’t know what I was looking for, but while looking I met Madison. That pressure, whatever it was, had largely subsided. The changes I had been making in my life had begun to take root. Generally I was beginning to feel more content and this allowed me more clarity to reflect on what had drove me out in the first place. I discovered the answer was friendships. Friends that would accept and enjoy my whole personality with no pretending. Would Madison accept this?
Closing my eyes I sigh heavily. There was something different about Madison. The memory of her mischievous smile and her sparkling blue eyes looking back at me over a wine glass was alluring. Today it feels like ages ago, but the hungry kiss we shared remains fresh in my mind. Yes, I would accept her friendship, but inside I knew she could be more -- I wanted her to be more.
My work week had been unusually busy, it felt unfair to reply to Madison's message -- at that moment I simply didn't have the time to give. Guiltily I turn off the display on my phone and return it to my pocket. I turn and find Wil looking at me expectantly. Chagrined I realize he had asked me a question. I answer Wil’s question, then try to go about my day; but my concentration is divided. My mind always seems to drift back to Madison and her text message.
Finally once the work week had slowed down I sent a reply to her text message. Given the delay of my response she had thought that maybe I was angry with her. Not true. We arrange to meet at the restaurant where we had met the very first time.
And then...
Ahh yes, that’s right you all don’t know! You see, the story you read in my last post happened nearly 8 months ago. Madison and I had a lovely first meeting and we continued to talk... then... life seemed to get in the way. Our contact with each other diminished, scheduling attempts at meetings waned, and things just seemed to die. For nearly five months I had had no word from Madison and then... Oops! Never mind I don’t want to ruin the story for you so read on!
__________
Chatting with Wil, I pull open the door and walk into the Mongolian barbecue restaurant we go to for lunch on occasion. We step in line to wait our turn, Wil is describing a new programming library he has been playing with. I idly pull my mobile phone from my pocket pushing the button to light the screen.
Madison. Seeing the text actually causes me to sway in surprise. Wil's chatter and the cacophony of the restaurant lunch crowd go silent, I am suddenly very alone with my thoughts. Quietly I stare at the text message with only the steady drum of my heart.
It had been a long time since I had spoken with Madison. She had gone on vacation with her husband and then drifted away. I had assumed that she was trying to refocus effort on her marriage and that her husband was likely making an effort too. If that was the case I didn't want to insert himself and be a disruption. When I stopped hearing from her I silently wished her the best and hoped she was well.
Now, she was back. Some overwhelming force within me had caused me to start searching for... something -- I didn’t know what I was looking for, but while looking I met Madison. That pressure, whatever it was, had largely subsided. The changes I had been making in my life had begun to take root. Generally I was beginning to feel more content and this allowed me more clarity to reflect on what had drove me out in the first place. I discovered the answer was friendships. Friends that would accept and enjoy my whole personality with no pretending. Would Madison accept this?
Closing my eyes I sigh heavily. There was something different about Madison. The memory of her mischievous smile and her sparkling blue eyes looking back at me over a wine glass was alluring. Today it feels like ages ago, but the hungry kiss we shared remains fresh in my mind. Yes, I would accept her friendship, but inside I knew she could be more -- I wanted her to be more.
My work week had been unusually busy, it felt unfair to reply to Madison's message -- at that moment I simply didn't have the time to give. Guiltily I turn off the display on my phone and return it to my pocket. I turn and find Wil looking at me expectantly. Chagrined I realize he had asked me a question. I answer Wil’s question, then try to go about my day; but my concentration is divided. My mind always seems to drift back to Madison and her text message.
Finally once the work week had slowed down I sent a reply to her text message. Given the delay of my response she had thought that maybe I was angry with her. Not true. We arrange to meet at the restaurant where we had met the very first time.
And then...
How I Screwed Up My Prowling
I know how to cheat and not get caught. I didn't screw up because I didn't know how to keep it hidden. I screwed up because I let my guard down and started breaking my own rules and guidelines.
I knew I was doing it, too. I had become so cocky that I didn't think I could be caught because I was just too good at flying under the radar.
In short, I was an idiot.
After a long, long time of successful prowling, I started to let my guard down. I spend too much time online in the evenings. I started staying late at work much more than was reasonable. I carried my phone with me at all times (even at home when there was no need for it to be on my person) and I scrambled whenever Hubby reached for it. I wasn't deleting naughty texts and emails anymore. I started getting sloppy about my excuses for where I would be when I went out for play time.
And the mistake that ultimately forced me to admit things to Hubby - I used a business credit card for a local hotel, and Hubby had access to the records. When he was just an hour or so away from discovering that charge, I told him. I am still convinced that it was better for him to hear it from me directly than to find out as he looked through bank records.
I am very fortunate that the fallout has not been negative - no divorce, no separation. In fact, my marriage is better now than it has been for over two decades, but it could easily have gone the other way - all because I was careless.
The Advice for Prowlers page includes link to many posts with excellent advice for Prowlers. Read it, but remember that you need to do more than read it. Knowing how to avoid being caught is worthless information unless you apply it.
Take it from an idiot who learned the hard way.
I knew I was doing it, too. I had become so cocky that I didn't think I could be caught because I was just too good at flying under the radar.
In short, I was an idiot.
After a long, long time of successful prowling, I started to let my guard down. I spend too much time online in the evenings. I started staying late at work much more than was reasonable. I carried my phone with me at all times (even at home when there was no need for it to be on my person) and I scrambled whenever Hubby reached for it. I wasn't deleting naughty texts and emails anymore. I started getting sloppy about my excuses for where I would be when I went out for play time.
And the mistake that ultimately forced me to admit things to Hubby - I used a business credit card for a local hotel, and Hubby had access to the records. When he was just an hour or so away from discovering that charge, I told him. I am still convinced that it was better for him to hear it from me directly than to find out as he looked through bank records.
I am very fortunate that the fallout has not been negative - no divorce, no separation. In fact, my marriage is better now than it has been for over two decades, but it could easily have gone the other way - all because I was careless.
The Advice for Prowlers page includes link to many posts with excellent advice for Prowlers. Read it, but remember that you need to do more than read it. Knowing how to avoid being caught is worthless information unless you apply it.
Take it from an idiot who learned the hard way.
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