Friday, October 28, 2011

Madison's Return

Daunt? What the heck to you mean, Madison is returning? The last I heard she was already here?

Ahh yes, that’s right you all don’t know! You see, the story you read in my last post happened nearly 8 months ago. Madison and I had a lovely first meeting and we continued to talk... then... life seemed to get in the way. Our contact with each other diminished, scheduling attempts at meetings waned, and things just seemed to die. For nearly five months I had had no word from Madison and then... Oops! Never mind I don’t want to ruin the story for you so read on!

Chatting with Wil, I pull open the door and walk into the Mongolian barbecue restaurant we go to for lunch on occasion. We step in line to wait our turn, Wil is describing a new programming library he has been playing with. I idly pull my mobile phone from my pocket pushing the button to light the screen.

Are you around? I know it's been a long time. How are you?

Madison. Seeing the text actually causes me to sway in surprise. Wil's chatter and the cacophony of the restaurant lunch crowd go silent, I am suddenly very alone with my thoughts. Quietly I stare at the text message with only the steady drum of my heart.

It had been a long time since I had spoken with Madison. She had gone on vacation with her husband and then drifted away. I had assumed that she was trying to refocus effort on her marriage and that her husband was likely making an effort too. If that was the case I didn't want to insert himself and be a disruption. When I stopped hearing from her I silently wished her the best and hoped she was well.

Now, she was back. Some overwhelming force within me had caused me to start searching for... something -- I didn’t know what I was looking for, but while looking I met Madison. That pressure, whatever it was, had largely subsided. The changes I had been making in my life had begun to take root. Generally I was beginning to feel more content and this allowed me more clarity to reflect on what had drove me out in the first place. I discovered the answer was friendships. Friends that would accept and enjoy my whole personality with no pretending. Would Madison accept this?

Closing my eyes I sigh heavily. There was something different about Madison. The memory of her mischievous smile and her sparkling blue eyes looking back at me over a wine glass was alluring. Today it feels like ages ago, but the hungry kiss we shared remains fresh in my mind. Yes, I would accept her friendship, but inside I knew she could be more -- I wanted her to be more.

My work week had been unusually busy, it felt unfair to reply to Madison's message -- at that moment I simply didn't have the time to give. Guiltily I turn off the display on my phone and return it to my pocket. I turn and find Wil looking at me expectantly. Chagrined I realize he had asked me a question. I answer Wil’s question, then try to go about my day; but my concentration is divided. My mind always seems to drift back to Madison and her text message.

Finally once the work week had slowed down I sent a reply to her text message. Given the delay of my response she had thought that maybe I was angry with her. Not true. We arrange to meet at the restaurant where we had met the very first time.

And then...

1 comment:

Naughty Kitty said...

DAMN YOU for leaving me hanging!!!