Dodging a Bullet Fired by a "Frighteningly Intelligent" Woman

Sometimes you get a close call when you meet someone on AM. Things start out well, but then they turn, and if they turn before you have invested too much time or given away too much personal information, you feel grateful, like you just dodged a bullet. That's what happened to a close friend of mine.

He shared an email exchange he had with a woman earlier this week. He told me they had only had a few back and forth interactions on AM before attempting to move to email, but that things were looking good.  He sent his email address which happens to refer to his occupation as a lawyer.  She asked if he is, indeed, a lawyer, and he replied that yes, he is.

Here's how she responded. I'm leaving in all errors that were in the original message so you get a complete picture,

"It is an ABSOLUTE F-ING Deal killer, period. 

Lawyers are intellegent and that is not a complement, collectively you people have figured out how to be the primary beneficiaries of the legal system. 

The firm wrongfully sued has to pay $$$$ to you assholes and the person genuinely screwed can't get good representation without coughing a huge percentage, and as such they NEVER get whole. 

Life choices are what they are, you made one years ago and it isn't going to change. 
My life choice is that I refuse to waste time with losers, you are simply one at a more educated level. 

Thanks anyway."

As you might expect, my advice to my friend (let's call him Baseball Guy - BG), was to walk away.  Don't respond.  Be grateful to have dodged a bullet and move along to the next one.

Did he listen?  Of course not! Baseball Guy is quite confident, but I didn't think that anyone could turn that situation around.  Still, he tried.

Here's how he responded:

"I've been brooding about this all afternoon. Look, lumping me in with all the asshole lawyers (and, yeah, there are a lot of them) is just like saying you don't like all Muslims because of 9/11. Whatever you may think of lawyers, in general, doesn't define me: I'm a very good person with a strong sense of social justice, including a lot of work on the kind of tort reform you mention. You'd be very pleasantly surprised, I think, to know more. 

I'll probably be (near you on) business soon. Have lunch or dinner or a drink or whatever with me and then, if you still think I've made a bad life choice, at least you'll know for sure. Don't worry - I'm not a stalker so if you don't reply I'll take that at face value. But I hope you do."

Well, that convinced me.  I'd love to meet him for lunch or dinner or a drink or whatever (I always seem to choose that "whatever" option, though).  Do you think it convinced her?

"Brood all you want, my position is not going to change. A whining lawyer, wow am I wet. Or is that the play the vicim shit you people do so well? 

This can't possibly be the first time that you've heard that attorney's do absolutely nothing to benefit society. 
Your occupation has very low job satisfaction ratings amongst practicing lawyers and a significantly higher than statistical average suicide rate. Always room for improvement, you'll have to figure out which way I am refering to. 

We have spent literally millons on councel defending frivilous B/S that would have been better resolved with the business end of a bat in my opinion, so your up hill battle is insurmountable here. 

As for Muslims, you could not have picked a worse comparison. I believe that Islam teaches that anyone who does not see things their way is fair game. Muslims whine about being lumped together but never come out agianst terrorism in any real, meaningful and substantive way. Yes I have actually read and understand the Koran, so argue all you want. Iread it as a result of being sued by a former employee Mohammed al- Ka BOOM who claimed descrimination. FUCK THEM!! 

As for being a good person............you are on a CHEATER'S website, you simply have no moral ground to hold that position. 

I know exactly what I am doing and why, You are trying to be good and bad at the same time, doesn't work. You can't have it both ways. 

I don't care in the slightest about your life choices, at the end when their is no way out, you'll figure that out and it will be too late for you. 

Stalk all you want the whore my husband hooked up with, her husband is a MMA fighter and has become a friend who actually enjoyes kicking the life out of cheaters 

You attorneys tend to think you are the smartest people in the room, which doesn't tend to end well. 

And yes I' frighteningly intelligent, and not about to fall for your poor put upon crap."

Wow.  At this point, all I could think was I told ya so. Even Baseball Guy knew it was over and that there was no chance of having any intimacy, or even semi-anonymous sex, with this woman.

She wrote that she's "frighteningly intelligent," which is scary given the many errors in her angry missive. I counted 14, and that was only counting what I'm pretty sure were unintentional errors.  The most intelligent people usually don't have that kind of error rate.

In addition, the truly intelligent among us typically don't demonstrate the overt bigotry that Baseball Guy's prospective lover showed in her comments. The "Mohammed al- Ka BOOM" comment made me gasp and shift uncomfortably (and not in a good way) in my chair.

There are many more comments I could make about these writings, but I want to throw it out for comments first to hear what the prowlers think.

I will say this, though. Supposedly, this woman is a real beauty on the outside. That's typically where Baseball Guy starts in his selection process - with the beautiful ones. I know some gorgeous women who are truly beautiful inside and out. Unfortunately, many men are blinded by the outside appearance to the degree that they just can't see that the inside doesn't match, or they overlook (or disparagingly dismiss) those who are not gorgeous on the outside, missing out forever on some unbelievably good and inwardly stunning women.  You may say that it doesn't really matter if you're just looking for a quick fuck or a casual sexual fling.  You're wrong about that. Do you really want to depend on someone so angry, bigoted, and "frighteningly intelligent" to keep your encounter or affair secret?

So, Prowlers, what are your thoughts about this exchange?  And don't worry, you don't have to be afraid of the husband of her husband's whore who is the MMA fighter (the husband, I mean, not the whore).  I'll protect you.

Falling for Tall Guy

I met Tall Guy on AM in early January. At first there was nothing that really stood out about him except for the fact that he's tall and he's a decent writer, which is not common among men on AM.  Trust me on this.

It's not that I'm a writing snob, but when your only way of getting to know someone initially and determining if you want to meet them in person is in writing, it really helps if he can put two sentences together. Okay, maybe I am a writing snob. Whatever....

Anyway, Tall Guy wrote well, often, and prolifically. It didn't take very long at all for us to learn more and more about each other and to learn that we actually have some things in common that surprised me. By the end of January, even though I was thoroughly enjoying playtime with T, I was ready to meet him. But he wasn't ready to meet me.

I used to make the assumption that by the time someone signs up on AM, they are ready to pursue whatever they may find there.  I learned that is not the case.  There are many folks there who are just checking it out, some out of curiosity and others to see if they really could find someone there.  Let me speak for the real AM hunters and say that the lookie-loos are annoying. Seriously, it's not fun to invest weeks in getting to know someone only to find out that he doesn't know what he wants or that he was just window shopping but he doesn't want to prowl.  But that's exactly how it was with Tall Guy.

Let me pause here and tell you why I've named him Tall Guy.  It should be very obvious, but for some of you (Ryan, Max, and whoever else may need assistance with their masks before I put on my own) I'll explain a bit more.  He's tall.  Very tall. Really, really tall. 6'10" to be specific. His height is emphasized even more because I'm so short - 5'4", well, actually 5'3".......until this morning when the doctor told me I was really 5'2" now.  Yes, I am the incredible shrinking woman and Tall Guy towers over me.

But I digress....again.....

Tall Guy wasn't sure that he wanted to cheat, and you know my advice to anyone who's not sure - don't do it. So, I assumed that Tall Guy would never become a notch on my bedpost, but we continued to correspond anyway. Why?  Because I liked him. Very much. 

The months flew by - February, March. In March he started thinking he might like to get together. April - nothing.  May - he decided he wanted to meet.  I'll admit that I was nervous, mainly because I had put him in the "not gonna happen" category and I was very surprised when he jumped  into the "let's meet once and see how it goes" category. 

It went very well. The first thing I noticed when I walked in the room was that, even though I knew he was tall, he was really, really tall. He walked over to give me a hug and a kiss and I had to look straight up and stand on my tippy toes and he had to bend way over to make it happen. I chuckled to myself at the unusual situation and then I realized that there could very well be some logistical issues to address as the afternoon unfolded. 

He took my hand and stepped over to the bed and sat down.  Then we were almost eye level.  Almost.  And he kissed me again.  That's when the magic happened. Wow. Sparks, fireworks, whatever you want to call it.  And I was shocked. Jumping from "not gonna happen" to "let's meet once and see how it goes" is one thing, but leaping all the way over to "this could be serious" is crazy and it caught me off guard.

As I said, it went very well. It was a wonderful afternoon in just about every way. I'm not going to tell the sex story in this post, but never fear, I will soon. This post has another point entirely.

I left that meeting happy, very satisfied, and convinced that we were moving in a new direction together. I expected to hear something from him soon afterwards. Nothing. After sending him a message, he shared with me that he was feeling guilty and needed some time to work it out. 

Then I got the "let's be friends" email. Not only was that the content, but that was definitely the feel of it as well.  It was much more distant than what he had written to me recently.

"Hi Kat, I fear I may have hurt your feelings and if I have, I am very, very sorry.  You are an intelligent, warm, and welcoming person and I am glad to have met you.  I've enjoyed our chats and the friendship we built.  I really hope that can continue.  Also, I did enjoy our time together very much and am sorry my own issues have dampened that for you.I don't know what else to say … I sincerely hope I haven't hurt you.  If I have, I am sorry."

Fuck. You know when someone calls you intelligent soon after fucking you it can't be good. At first I was confused. The encounter we had wasn't a friendly fuck.  There was much more passion to it. There was more of everything that you would want. But, hoping that I could still save face, I wrote a very polite, albeit brief, reply:

"Thanks for your note.  I appreciate your thoughts. I was hurt because it seemed like you regretted our meeting and seeing me. It made something really nice seem dirty. I'd like to continue our friendship, too. I have no regrets.  I think you're an extraordinary man."

The message was very docile, but I was angry. I was angry and him for not knowing what he wanted and I was angry at myself for allowing myself to be drawn in beyond the emotional safety zone before I was sure he was ready.  I was angry at SNS Guy for pulling the rug out from under me and kicking me to the curb months before (a little delayed anger, I know).  I was angry at T for his on again - off again efforts to keep me at a safe emotional distance.  I was angry at JJ for disappearing from my life.  I was angry at Hubby for...well, for a lot of things. I felt jerked around and used and every man I'd been mad at in the past 6 months popped into my head and I sat in my car and raged at them all at once.

By the time I was done, I had decided that I wasn't going to have anything to do with any of them ever again.  I was done.  Well, except for maybe SNS Guy because he was my best friend, and still is, in spite of what had happened.  And except for T because, as you all know, he's like crack for me and I knew I'd need another fix soon. And Hubby, well, we had to finish raising our youngest son, so he could stay around until LittleTomKat turned 18, but that was it!

For the rest of May, email with Tall Guy was polite and friendly, but not as frequent as it had been before we met. In June, it became more frequent again, more personal. At some point during June, we both realized that we had moved out of that "let's be friends" category to the "this is serious" category. In early July, he decided that he was really ready to meet again. We did.  It was amazing.

I'm not exactly sure when I started to love him, but I know I fought it. Every warning light in my brain started going off at once, telling me that being emotionally vulnerable - again - was a bad idea. But every time I talked or chatted with him I couldn't see those warning lights at all. I only saw him.

And that's how it is today.

"Yep, you nailed it...I am that jerk!"

As I was perusing through the 40 messages that remained in my inbox, I saw one with a screen name that looked familiar. I noticed that he had revoked his private key and I asked why. This was his response:

"Hi there, Cute pics! I was on AM a few years ago and just recently got back on. I didn't realize I still had a few keys out there and thought I'd better revoke them...no offense. Have you had much luck on this site? I have met a few great women and had a long term thing going until she moved out of state a few months back. Anyway, here are my pics. If you'd like you can use my email address (email deleted). Look forward to hearing from you, D"

I looked at his pictures and realized that I knew him.  I thought I did, anyway, but I wasn't 100% sure.  I was 90% sure.  So I replied with this:

"For some reason I think we have already met. That was my first thought when I saw your pics. If you are who I think you are, you fucked me at your office and didn't communicate again. Am I right? If I'm wrong, I just told you that someone else didn't like me enough for a second date. Hahaha. That's not exactly a good strategy, is it? If I'm right about knowing you, your name is D, I think. How did I do?"

Yeah, it's true. We had communicated online and by phone for awhile. Our first meeting was at his office. He got one of my trademark world class blow jobs and then he bent me over the desk and fucked me from behind. It wasn't great sex, but it was good.  As I left, there was no indication, except for how fast he peeled out of the parking lot, that he wasn't happy. I never heard from him again. While that was extremely rude, it didn't bother me too much because I didn't feel a real spark either.

I didn't expect to get a response from him, but to his credit, I did:

"Yep, you nailed it...I am that jerk! 

I totally remember that...I certainly owe you an apology for the lack of communication after. I remember us chatting for a bit after but never pursued anything further. I also remember your writing skills! 

Have you found that one?"

His question at the end was referring to my search for "the one" - a lover I could really connect with, someone I'd be with for a long time. Shortly after my encounter with him, I met JJ.

We passed a couple single sentence messages back and forth and ended the conversation by wishing each other luck.

I was impressed that he actually accepted some responsibility for being a jerk and he apologized.  I wasn't expecting that and didn't need it, but it was nice nonetheless.

Finally getting closure is always nice.

The Councilman

When we started chatting on AM, he told me his name was Joe. I had no reason not to believe him, even though it's pretty common for men to use a fake name to begin with.  Whatever.  We sent messages back and forth on AM for a few days and then we moved to email for a couple of weeks. He didn't seem to be in a hurry for a meeting, so I decided I could lay back, too, for awhile.

I thoroughly enjoyed our conversations and chats. He was smart and very funny. He didn't send any photos, but that didn't matter to me. The friendship that was developing was fun. Of course, he had seen photos of me, but I didn't think anything of it until one day my little chat window popped up and it was him.

"I hope you don't get mad at me, but I need to tell you something," he said.

"O.k., shoot," I replied.

After a pause, he wrote, "I know who you are."

At first I felt a bit nervous, but then I realized that I had already decided that he was a trustworthy guy. I was sure it would be fine.

"O.k.," I said. "How do you know me?"

He went on to explain that we hadn't really met, but he knew who I was and we knew a lot of the same people.  Then he told me how he knew me, and yes, he knew exactly who I was. For a moment I cringed thinking about how shocked he must have been to get that topless photo and realize, "Whoa! I know that woman!"

Then he said he wanted to get together.

"But don't I get to know who you are?" I asked.

"You'll know when you see me," he said.

Oh my god, I thought. Is this one of Hubby's friends? A client? A neighbor? UGH!!!

I tried to get more information out of him, but it was useless.  He wasn't going to share anything except in person. He wanted to meet at an out of the way place in the country, about 45 minutes away.

"Uh, no," I told him. "There's no way I'm meeting someone whose name I don't even know out in the middle of nowhere - alone. Sorry."

Then the negotiations began. I suggested a place. Too public.  He suggested a place.  Too isolated. He assured me that I would feel safe as soon as I saw him and recognized who he was.

"Sure," I said. "That's what all the ax murderers say."  He laughed.  That was good. We finally agreed to meet at a Catholic church near that isolated spot he had first suggested.  We'd meet in the church, which was open during the day.  There would likely be someone there, so we wouldn't talk. If, after I saw him, I felt safe, we'd leave separately and go meet at the place in the country. It felt so much like a 007 mission that I had to laugh.

I got to the church first and went in. I picked out a pew about four rows from the door, genuflected, crossed myself, and took a seat. No, the irony was not lost on me. Married Catholic gal meeting in a church in the presence of the Eucharist before, potentially, going to have sex with a married man - and blessing herself.  Note to self, I thought. Next time, don't pick a church.

Within a few minutes, I heard the door open behind me.  I didn't turn to look around because I wouldn't do that if I had just stopped in for a moment of prayer.  I waited. There were four other people in the church, spread out all over the place. Three were little old ladies.  One was a man, but I was certain he wasn't the man I was meeting because I didn't recognize him, and Joe (or whatever-his-name-was) told me I would know him when I saw him.

I listened to the footsteps as the person who came in the door behind me stepped into the church and started walking up the aisle.  I waited. Then I was nervous. I heard him step into the pew directly across the aisle from me and sit down. I slowly turned and looked.

As soon as I saw him I smiled and chuckled a bit, trying not to make any noise.  He was right.  I knew exactly who he was.  You don't meet city councilmen on AM every day. He looked a little sheepish and then raised his eyebrows and tilted his head toward the door as if to say, "Ok? Can we go now?" I nodded yes.  He left.  Then, about 10 minutes later, I left, too.

For the few of you who know me and know where I live, let me tell you that I'm not going to tell you which city this councilman served. And because I am very committed to protecting his privacy, I can't share with any of you his age or what he looked like. I haven't seen him for a long time (before I met JJ), but I told him I would take his secret to the grave with me, and I will.

When I got to the place we agreed to meet, he was already there. His car was parked behind the barn, just like he said it would be, and it was empty, so I figured he was in the barn. I parked and walked in. I saw him arranging some hay bales (my first clue that he was very strong) into what looked like a makeshift bed. I watched him for about 30 seconds and, after he had spread the blanket over the "bed," I said, "Hi, Joe."

He turned and smiled.  Then he said, "Do you see now why I was so reluctant to tell you."

"Well," I said. "There's reluctance and there's paranoia." I later would have the same conversation with webcam guy, but that's another story entirely.

He sat down on the hay bed and motioned for me to come over. As I sat down, he dragged and pushed another bale in front of us, opened a duffle bag he had with him, and spread out a table cloth. Then he pulled out some wine glasses and sparkling cider, and then some cheese, sliced apples, and grapes. Yeah, I can admit that I was impressed. This was nice. Definitely not a typical booty call.

We laughed and talked for about half an hour, enjoying each other's company and our little lunch. I was completely lost in the moment and having a great time, so even I was surprised that I was caught off guard when he took the glass out of my hand, set it on the ground, and leaned over to kiss me.

It was a perfect kiss. Truly perfect. He slid his hand up under my blouse and unhooked my bra easily.

I smiled into our kiss and said, "You've done this before."

"Once or twice," he answered, before silencing me with another kiss.

We undressed each other slowly, taking turns.  My blouse. His shirt. My pants. His.  My bra and panties. His shorts.

He leaned me back until I was laying down (FYI- even with a blanket, hay bales are hard and prickly) and then he climbed on top of me sliding his hands slowly all over my body as he kissed me, but avoiding the most sensitive places, the places that by then I really wanted him to touch.

Every now and then I'd open my eyes and think, "Holy shit! This is Councilman Joe. What the fuck am I doing?!?" But then he'd brush his hand across my pussy and kiss me harder and I'd get dizzy and forget about who he was.

Soon, he found my clit and started rubbing. I rocked my hips forward to press against his hand  but he grabbed my hair tight and looked into my eyes sternly. "Don't move," he said. I couldn't nod my head to indicate assent, but I had a feeling I wasn't supposed to say anything either, so I just stopped moving and waited.

He went back to work. It didn't take long for me to get very close to orgasm.  I'd start shaking and then he would stop and repeat that I was to be still.  Then he'd start again.  The third time he stopped, I growled, "If you want me to be still, quit doing that!" He yanked my hair again.  "That's the Kat I've heard about," he laughed, "Saucy, spirited, and a bit annoying."

While he was talking, without warning, he entered me roughly, fully in one stroke. I gasped and squealed a bit, but his mouth was on mine in a split second to muffle the noise. He pulled back from the kiss and hissed, "Quiet!"

I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him into me and he fucked me very, very hard and slowly.  He pulled back each stroke like a receding wave and then he thrust into me more forcefully each time. He turned his head away from my face, leaned over and bit my shoulder  - HARD! I was about to tell him to stop because he'd leave a mark, but I started to cum.  As I shook, he bit harder and that just turned me on more. I started bucking against him. He screamed when he came, which startled me a bit since he had seemed so obsessed with keeping me quiet, but there was no time to think about that. My orgasm started before his, lasted through his, and continued a few seconds beyond his.

When it was finished, he lifted his head and looked at me. "Oh my god!" I shouted.

His mouth and chin were covered with blood. He wiped at his mouth with his arm as we both turned and looked at my shoulder. "Jesus," he said. "I'm really sorry! Why didn't you stop me?!"

"Because I was coming,"I said, "and I liked it. And oh my god, how am I going to explain this?"

He grabbed a couple of napkins from the bag and pressed them on my shoulder, telling me to apply pressure. Then he pulled his pants on and left the barn. I stared up at the ceiling and noticed, for the first time, the beauty of the place.  Streaks of afternoon sunlight were peeking through the roof. It was very clean, but still quaint and rustic. I wondered how he knew of this place and if he had brought other women here.

My thoughts were interrupted when he came back in with a first aide kit. He cleaned the wound, put on a bandage, taped it securely. I handed him a napkin and told him he might want to clean the blood off his face.

"You look like a vampire," I told him.

He laughed and said, "I've been called worse."

"The next time someone tells me that your bark is worse than your bite," I said, "I'm going to tell them 'No, it's not!' "

We laughed again and he lay back down next to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.

"I mean it," he whispered. "I'm really sorry."

I snuggled a little closer and didn't say anything for a while.  I thought about how I would explain the wound on my shoulder that looked exactly like a human mouth. I came up with a plan...and then I felt a little better.

We relaxed and talked a while longer, but eventually it was time to go. We got dressed, cleaned up the picnic supplies, and put the hay bales back as they were before either of us had arrived. As I stood at the door and looked back as I was leaving, it didn't look like we had ever been there.

As we stood at my car, he asked when he'd see me again. I joked that I'd have to attend the next council meeting because there was some guy running around in the country biting women, and that had to be stopped.

"No, seriously," he said. There was that stern voice back again.

"You tell me," I answered.

"Next Tuesday, then. Noon?"

"O.K."

He kissed me quickly, a peck on my lips. He jogged around his car to the driver's side and then he looked back at me and said, "You bring lunch. And I'm going to taste other parts of you next time."

The Lingering Trauma of Prowling

By Somewhere Man

The picture taunts me at work. Every day. The beautiful woman that I fell in love with last year is still in my life. Only she isn't. This woman, whom I wrote and wrote about amid the heartache and heartbreak of last fall, now has a prominent spot in my office. Her image is now in a framed photo next to my closest colleague, a man a whole whopping 26 years older than I am. He's old but not to old to be fucking her. But he has a ton of money and, now that her divorce is final, she is single.

Just like the old man.

Because we work together, I see his endless photos as he flies her to California and Florida. The old man looks pretty damn happy and he should be. He's tapping an unspeakably beautiful woman.

Last night, I was at a going away party for a mutual colleague. Old Man and Blonde Hottie are at a side table of this upscale bar. She sits on his aged lap, arms around him, kisses him deep and then she opens her eyes and makes eye contact with me and smiles.

Ouch.

Many days I walk past the framed picture of the smokin' hot, blonde and suddenly-single cougar and think, "damn, how did I lose her to a frail old man with a bad back?". Yet, more and more, I think: "damn, I really dodged a bullet with that crazy whore." Especially as, in the two years since I crossed a line and became a prowler, I have seen it blow up in far too many peoples' faces.

***

Let's see. I've seen hilarious and popular prowling blogs lead to people (men and women) being "outed" and their unaware spouses finding out. I've seen people get busted through Facebook flirting and messaging. Some of these marriages ended in divorce. Some didn't.

I've been lucky. A recent "outing scare" over the winter sent me off-line for good.

So much of writing a blog about this was to show off. To, somehow, validate that a middle-aged guy like me could still score a parade of gorgeous women even as I could not get indifferent and increasingly unattractive wife to even do anything to or with me in bed.

For the last two years, I have found myself in the embrace of a bevy of beauties. Thin waifs who needed to eat a steak. Curvy women fretting over love handles. Women from different ethnic backgrounds but all women who simply wanted what they were missing. The closeness. The feeling of desire.

Now I just wonder how empty it all was... and still is.

It's just been a game.

Yet it was a game that I had freakin' mastered. As a guy on AM, I had hit a point where 90% of the messages I would send out would be answered. If I was able to talk my way into a "face-to-face", I would usually get my desires filled fairly quickly. As I look back on the actual totals, I met with a total of 9 women from AM. That equaled 7 BJs or intercourse, 1 woman who didn't want me and 1 woman I backed away from. It was not because of my dashing and debonair nature.

I would argue it was because I found "the system" to make it work. In fact, by the end of all this, I had become so proficient in "the system" that I had to even make it appear so non-rehearsed and smooth.

I was joking with Kat recently as I was in a bookstore and came across a book in the "Relationships" section that was a 200-page book about picking up women. 200 pages? I can sum it all up in the rest of this post.

For AM Pickups: I will start here as this is now a very common way to hook up. I cannot stress enough how easy it really is here, especially if you live in a major metro area. I live in a mid-size city which means I have to be extremely careful on who I meet or how much I reveal right away. Yet, AM women are "already on second base". At least the ones that are not those "autobots", out to take away all of your credits.

Target Precisely. Avoid the temptation to buy 100 credits and then message 15 women at once. Allow yourself a maximum of 4 messages a week. That's it. When you have an 80-90% response rate (as I do), 4 is the maximum that I can juggle at one time. Decide which 4 "contestants" will be here for this week. Write on a Saturday or a Sunday and see where it goes.

An Authentic Note Helps. This I also cannot stress enough. I'll offer my standard opening line for you guys: "Amid the 577 men who are probably chasing you, I hope you can take the time to learn a little more about me...." And I am off and running. It's a balance of revealing a little more about yourself (but not too much). Ask her three questions about herself. Mine are easy: Why are you here? What do you crave? What drives you crazy? They almost always respond.

No Talk About Sex Until She Talks About Sex. I am 99.44% certain that Kat has covered this. Far too many men send cock shots or talk about how they like to pump from behind with a finger in her ass. Don't do it...even though we are all here for it.

Once you're on the second message from her, then it is time to move her to an email address. Then, after a few days of emailing, move her to Google Voice.

For Non-AM Pickups: Damn, these are tricky. The woman I fell in love with was a "non-AM pickup". Those are nerve-racking, especially as I refuse to ever get involved with anyone in my workplace. I had one of these non-AM pickup situations this week. I'm at a big-box hardware store and the woman who helped me pick out my paint was stunning. Tall, thin, 40ish, black hair, full eyes, great smile. As I leave, I notice she has the wedding ring (perfect as I do not pursue single women), she tells me that she has five kids.

Me: "I hope that you have someone in your life who tells you that you have a superb smile."

Her (shocked): "Wow... actually, I don't. He never tells me. We're in counseling."

Me: "Well (as I scribble), here is my number in case you'd ever like a man to tell you that you have a great smile."

She texted me five minutes later, agreeing to meet me for coffee the next day.

Yet, with the non-AM pickup, it is like an operating room patient that took a bullet to the chest. "The next 24 hours will be critical". A "straight pickup" will probably be filled with doubts and even guilt that she is considering a date. Mrs. Hot Raven-Haired Lady texted me the next day that she was full of guilt and only wanted to be friends. I wrote that I understood and hoped that she kept smiling.

Perhaps she will be back. Perhaps not.

Something, something about the chase.

The First Face-To-Face/Coffee Date: The most important logistic. Do not meet within five miles of either of your houses. It's not a spouse I'm worried about seeing. It's her little friends. It's a coworker. That's what worries me. I always pick a place away from my side of town and, often, at a non-peak hour. That means a coffeehouse at 10 am, 3 pm or 7 pm.

- Smile and Have Her Drink Ready. Find out if she loves mango smoothies and have it ready to go. This also allieviates the issue of standing in a slow-moving coffeehouse line with a woman who is not your wife.

- Have a Plan For The "Hour". Mine is always the same. Let her talk about her day for five minutes to blow off some steam. Answer any questions she has. I delve into one of my three "stock stories" from my past that are hilarious, detailed and self-deprecating. The woman always laughs at the end. Then we transition into what it is what we're doing here, on the edge of an affair.

About 50% of the time, it ends with me trying to walk her to her car. In those situations, I don't lean in for the kiss unless I see that she wants it badly. The other 50% of the time, especially if she has an SUV or a minivan with tented windows and if the date is going well, I recommend that we go sit in her ride. Middle row. In that situation, you'll have her reaching for your belt buckle within 15 minutes. Guaranteed.

Why write all of this? Ego, perhaps. But also because I've found "the system" that works for me. I am a decent looking guy but also one who is curious and listens to what a woman has to say. It's the balance between "alpha" and "beta". I always arrive with a plan (alpha) but I do listen and try and make her feel more comfortable (beta).

I also write this because, for all of the success I've had in tasting this delicious flesh, I also know how badly it can hurt as well. The image of a woman I wanted to be "the love of my life" taunts me in the office every day. I see her kissing that old man and I can't do anything about it. It hurts.

This is a dangerous game we all play.

Be careful.

Re-Visiting Ashley Madison

Well, I got a bee in my bonnet this week. I was a little upset with JJ, so I decided to jump back on AM and see what's up.  I also needed to do some research for a reader who responded to my post about how not to approach a woman on AM with a request for what works. That's a reasonable request, and there are some strategies that are more effective than others - at least with me.

First, though, I want to share some of my experiences of the past several days. First, single women out in the dating scene lament that "all the good ones are married."  I would have to agree. I have found a treasure trove of possibilities this time around. Sure, there are still plenty of "Wanna fuck?" boys, but I've noticed a lot of really nice guys this time - educated, bright, witty, polite.  Wow.  I was caught off guard. If you're in the northern California area (Sacramento/Bay Area), prepare to be pleasantly surprised.

I also noticed that my biggest AM pet peeve is still alive and well. There are lots of men who still send requests for your private key (request for private photos) as their introductory approach, before they even say 'hello.'  That is such a low-class approach. Usually I just hit the little "delete" button, but this time I tried a little education, responding with a request for "hello" or some other perfunctory form of conversation first.  About 50% didn't respond at all, 25% responded with, "Hi.  Can you send your photos now?" The final 25% responded with various insults and curses. I was called a "fucking cunt" several times, to which I responded, "Yes, but I won't be fucking YOU.  Good luck!" These are the men who should not be allowed to reproduce. They do seriously undesirable things to the gene pool.

But I digress.....again.....

I did get a surprise, though.  One of those requests for a key that was unaccompanied by conversation came from one of my previous fuck buddies. Yes, Young One on Fire, my fireman play mate, sent me a key request. I wasn't surprised that he didn't recognize me from my profile because I changed the profile - and the photo - and the username - this time.  I complied with his request for a key and gave him a firm tongue lashing about his poor manners (in writing. Not the tongue lashing he received when we last met). How else will the young ones learn?

In spite of of noticing lots of guys who did things wrong, there were many who did it right, and a few who did it very, very right.  Here's what works on AM to get Kat to meow:

1. Read the gal's entire profile and put something relevant to her profile in the subject line of the message. Most of your competition (and I'm not counting the "wanna fuck" boys or the "gimme your key" guys as your competition) is going to put something like "Hi" or "Let's talk" in the subject line of their first messages. You need to use something from her profile that links to something about you. For example, one that got my attention was "Fellow Springsteen Fan."  He would have had to read all the way to the bottom of my profile to know that. That inspired me to open his message. Another guy tried an opposite approach that still indicated that he had read my profile.  His subject line was "Dodger Fan." Of course I had to open his message if for no other reason than I wanted to reply to tell him that if we meet, I'll be wearing a strap-on because I love to fuck Dodger fans. Inside it said, "Just kidding, but I wanted you to notice me."  Hehehe. Remember your first goal - to get her to open your message. The subject line matters. 
2. Make that first message engaging. I can't emphasize this enough. It should be more than one sentence.  It should say something about what you liked about her profile.  It should say something about you that's not in your profile. If you can be witty, do so.
3. End your first message with a question. It should be a question about her. It should be a question that inspires her to hit "reply" so she can answer it. "Did you see Jonathan Sanchez' no-hitter?" "Are you planning to read that new book about Yogi Berra by Harvey Araton, Driving Mr. Yogi?" Those aren't questions that will work for everyone, but hey, were perfect for me.  The two gentlemen who asked those had me hitting reply to respond with a smile on my face. They read my profile, they paid attention. They were rewarded with a reply.
4. Stay away from any mention of sex in the first message.  Unless her profile explicitly says something like, "I don't want to be friends. I don't want to talk.  I just want to fuck," do not bring up sex in that first message. Yes, they are there for an affair, too.  Yes, they know that sex will be involved and they probably want it, but they won't fuck you unless they trust you. And if you start off with talk about sex, they will think you are a player, and players can't be trusted. You need to be a nice guy who wants someone to talk to.  You don't have to be totally Beta, but use a soft entry. Introduce sex in the second message, but not as a "wanna fuck" statement.  It should be more like, "You seem like a very sensitive and passionate woman. I can only imagine how great that must be in private."  Subtle.  Unless it's me. I responded to that with, "That's too bad. I already have a lover who brings out the sensitive side of me. I was hoping for some mind-blowing sex tomorrow. Good luck."  LOL.  I was just playing and being silly, though.  That was an excellent line.
5. Be persistent.  Unless she tells you to go away, follow up.  Send another message in a day or two, or in a week.  Be engaging. But don't be a stalker.  Stalkers are bad. At some point, probably after the third message, if she doesn't reply, just let her go.
6. Don't sound too desperate. The one who has my heart twitterpating right now is one who has shown a casual interest.  He's clearly very bright, attractive, desirable, but he didn't jump immediately to "Let's meet," which makes me want to what?  Meet, of course. :-) (It doesn't mean I will.  Just that I want to.  Kat does have some self-control, ya know.) Desperation is like female repellent.  Face it.  Most of us have men at home who don't do much for us anymore in the bedroom. In most cases, we've got them wrapped around our fingers in just about every way. We don't want that when we're shopping on AM.  We want confidence. We want self-assurance. We want a man who knows that he's desirable. We want what we don't have at home.
7. Be careful of that "Member Feedback" on the bottom of your profile. For most men, if they see positive feedback on a woman's profile, they think, "Hey! She's a good one.  If other guys liked her, I might, too." It's the opposite for women. We steer clear of men with lots of feedback numbers. We are not into competition like you guys are. A few feedback numbers are ok, but too many is bad. Your best bet if you have any is to have it under "gives good chat" and "worth the time."
8. Be yourself.  I know.  You're thinking that I've just told you to do everything but be yourself, but that's not true.  Do what you need to do to get her to open your first message and reply. YOU need her to engage with you before you can show her your charming real self. Once your foot is in the door, just be you. And remember that it's a real woman you're talking to. Imagine she were sitting right in front of you.  While the internet lets you get to the point faster than you could in person, would you really say, "Are you a freak?  Do you like suck cock?" Come on. Be real.

In spite of all this excellent advice, it's still true that it's harder for men than women. The competition is stiffer (pun intended) and the women know it. Some are not very nice.  And then you have all the hookers and escorts to contend with. Don't worry.  Just keep trying.  The right one for you is there.

After all, that's where I found JJ and he found me. :-)

The Ones Who Broke My Heart ....

I have no idea why I'm writing this post. It's just in me, pushing to come out.  Daunt and I were talking about that recently - how sometimes a post just demands to be written, and when that happens it pretty much writes itself.

Here's how it came about for me today.  I was thinking about Hubby and our date night today.  Then I was thinking about JJ and a really nice text exchange we had earlier today. Then I was reflecting on how much I loved these two men. I love them differently, but they are both very important to me. Then my mind started wandering to the few others I've loved in my life, and how it went with them.

Believe it or not, I've only fallen in love - and I mean head over heals in love - several times in my life. I've had relationships that looked like they were going in that direction, but then something changed before affection was transformed into love.

Real love....for me it's rare, and permanent. I don't think I've ever fallen out of love with anyone I really loved. Sometimes the relationship changed, but the feelings never did for me.  Sometimes it just doesn't work out the way you would like, and that can be a good thing.  A friendship with someone you love is wonderful.

I definitely love Hubby, and I always will.  And I love JJ. There's no doubt about that. I know, though, that there will be a point at which there will be heartbreak with each of them.

One of the things I like to say about marriage is that it never ends well. It always ends in either divorce or death.  Well, I don't see divorce in my future with Hubby at all, but I see death on the horizon (hopefully, far away on the horizon), and that sucks.

As for JJ, you know that I've told you that prowling always leads to heartache. It's just a matter of when. But I plan to enjoy JJ for every moment that I can.

There are others, though, who broke my heart along the way (in no particular order):

Matt - Matt was my boyfriend for just a few months in 8th grade. He was the first boy I ever made out with (although not my first kiss). He dumped me for a girl named Gina who was always showing off her precociously big tits by wearing tube tops even though that was clearly against the dress code at school (but I'm not bitter...really, I'm not. LOL). Matt didn't have the nerve to dump me to my face.  Instead, he requested our song at a school dance and then danced with her. Then, with everyone watching - looking at them, then at me, then back at them - he kissed her. That's how I found out that we were done. I was completely heartbroken and humiliated.  As strange as it sounds, it still stings me a little today.

Webcam Guy - It was a unique relationship.  We met on AM, had some sexual encounters, but not many.  Mostly, we became very good friends, and it was a friendship that kind of snuck up on me unexpectedly. I shared things with him that I had never told anyone. He meant a lot to me (he still does) and eventually I fell for him.  I am pretty sure it was more on the friendship side than the romantic side, but it really doesn't matter because he just cut of all contact with no explanation.  A few months later, he gave me a little more of an explanation, but then all contact was cut off again. That one still hurts a lot, especially whenever I drive by where he lives or works. It will probably make more sense if I explain that I don't make friends easily.  Oh, I can fuck strangers without a second thought and love it, but actually trust someone with anything that really matters to me? That's extremely rare for me.  Close friends worth trusting are hard to find.  I still don't get why he would throw that away.

F- I fell for F very early on in our relationship. We enjoyed many of the same things and we wrote an incredible amount of email in the early days.  Some of it was fantasy, some was just about life. There was an undeniable connection. We both knew it, and we decided to meet in person a couple of months after we met online. That meeting (in a hotel room, of course) didn't go well - for either of us, I think - but we didn't talk about it afterwards.  We just kind of went back to our online relationship, which was great. Both of us had a lot going on in our lives at that time and we didn't really have a chance to meet again. Then, about three or four weeks after our first meeting disaster, I got the email. He didn't want to stick with one person.  He wanted to still look around and see who he could find. I was dumped. When I read it, it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't think. I remember the feeling.  It was exactly the feeling I had in 8th grade when I saw Matt kissing Gina on the dance floor. Heartbroken. Humiliated. Rejected. F quickly explained that he still wanted to be friends.  So, I was just being dumped as a lover, not as a friend.  Well, that's better, I thought. Sort of. I agreed, and we continued the friendship, which is a good thing, of course, but over a year later there are still times when that pain rushes back in. I don't think I'll ever forget being rejected.  I try not to let it interfere with our friendship today, but I can't help it sometimes.

Love hurts. The problem is that you can't always tell when it's coming.

Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote in his poem, In Memoriam: 27 (1850)

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

I love that.  It reminds me that I'm not the only one to have loved and lost. My life is richer because of the experiences I've had and the people I've known, especially the ones I've loved. When I think about people who have never known the kind of love that I have, I'm very grateful...even for the ones who broke my heart.

*********************************************

I know.  Some of you are reading this and thinking. "That's nice, but when do we get another sex post?!?"

Soon, my impatient prowlers.  Soon.

I Feel Sorry for Them

I jumped on AM again for a couple of days. I was restless, wondering what I would find.  Unfortunately, for the most part, I found more of the same. I honestly feel sorry for some of these guys because, if they keep going like they are, they'll never get laid.

I know AM is a tough place for guys. Women don't answer messages, apparently.  Some will string you along forever and never meet. It's easy to get jaded, but please keep in mind that if you act like you're jaded, you have no luck at all.

Here's a sampling of some messages that I actually received in the past 48 hours:

1) "Just email me at xxx@xxx.com.  I'm sick of spending money on these stupid credits."

Ok, pal.  How about if I don't email?  Then you won't have to spend any time on me, either. Bu-bye.

2) "Look at my picture. Then message me if you're interested." (Private key attached.)  I didn't look at the picture or reply.  The next day, I received this: "Why didn't you message me?"

Because you told me not to.

3) "I'm free during the day.  Where are you in xxx-town?  Can I come over and pick you up this afternoon?"

I'm sorry. I was pretty sure I didn't write FREE HOOKER in my profile, but I'll go back and check just to be sure.

4) "Do you like to suck cock?"

As a matter of fact, yes, but I'll never be sucking yours.

5) "I don't know why I'm writing this.  You probably won't even respond."

I almost felt sorry enough for this guy to reply....almost.

6) " I like (music reference) and (sports reference), too.  We're perfect for each other!  Wanna get together?  I know a nice private place for getting intimate."

Awwwww.....you almost had me.  You read my profile.  You have a touch of humor. But you pushed the private get together a bit soon.  Wait.....my standards are getting pretty low if I find this interesting.

7) "I'm new to this website.  Would you be willing to chat for a few minutes to show me how it works?"

Very creative! Trying to tap into a woman's need to be helpful will probably work for some women. The only problem is that I don't go for stupid men.  I've got a thing for smart men (I really do).

8) "Wanna fuck?"

Uuugghhhhhh. This is classic, and discouraging. Why would any man think this line would work on any non-hooker?

In spite of all the bad lines, one gentleman (yes, only one) caught my eye. Smart, intriguing, polite, interesting. Hmmm.....I wonder if this will go anywhere.....

**********************

Related Post:

Online Pickup Lines that Don't Work on Women

Kat's First Ashley Madison Encounter - Chicago Guy

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was working in my office at home. Correction:  I was procrastinating in my office at home. I had seen one of those faux Ashley Madison commercials on TV (brilliant marketing ploy, by the way) and I decided I had the time to take a look. I had also recently decided that it was time to start prowling again.  It had been about 7 years since my last fling (yes, that's right, seven...long....years) and I was ready.  I was more than ready. 

I signed up quickly using one of my rarely-used web email addresses and a fake name. It was simple. So far, so good.  I set up a profile.  All those check boxes were annoying, so I wrote a few lines, not trying to impress anyone at all - just trying to get through the stupid profile creation process without a blank profile.

Then I started browsing. 20 miles from home.  50 miles from home. Wow!  So many choices! Within 20 minutes, I was getting messages.  Lots of messages.  I started answering them while still browsing. Within an hour, I had a few men I was chatting with and I stopped answering the messages for awhile.

Chicago Guy was one of the first messages I received that day.  He was in town for a couple of weeks on business and he said this was his first time trolling on AM, and that he had never had an affair before. My heart sank a little because I was really looking for someone local for a longer term thing, but he was a nice guy, so we continued to chat.

He was in town for a couple of weeks, but I use the term "in town" very loosely.  Apparently, he wasn't familiar with northern California when he was browsing in my area.  He was actually 90 minutes away. Oh well, another strike against anything ever happening with this guy.

There was flirting.  There was naughty conversation. There were exchanged photos (hmmm...not bad). Then came the requests to meet that day.

Not gonna happen, I thought.  First, it was Sunday.  I never just take off on a Sunday.  Hubby would never buy it.  And this guy was 90 minutes away.  No way.

So I told him, sure, as long as he was willing to drive an hour my way.  I'd drive 30 minutes in his direction, and we could meet at a hotel near a shopping destination that I'd use as my alibi. I knew the answer would be no.  What guy would drive an hour for sex?

To my surprise, he said yes and asked when he should leave.

Holy maloney!  It was now or never.  I told him to leave right then.  I went to hubby and made my case for an escape for a few hours. Then I cleaned up a bit and left.

I got to the room first and checked in and waited.  To say I was nervous would have been an understatement. As I sat there in the quiet thinking, all sorts of terrible thoughts occurred to me. What am I doing?  He seemed too eager.  He must be an axe murderer. What if he doesn't like me? (Why I was concerned that an axe murderer like me, I'll never know.) What if he doesn't look at all like his photo? What if we have no rapport in person and the sex sucks?  How long do I have to stay if I change my mind?

My terror thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Relief.  Not only did he look like his photo, but he was quite handsome. He was tall (6'2") and muscular with a shaved head and a goatee. He wore jeans and a Chicago Bears jersey, and he looked perfectly comfortable.  If this was his first time, why wasn't he nervous like me?

I opened the door and we smiled at each other. I stepped aside so he could enter and we uttered some quick greetings as he walked in.

"Kat? Hi," he said.

"Chicago Guy?" I replied.

(By the way, I'm not using an initial for his name like I usually do here because, well, I don't remember his name.  I know.  What a slut, huh?")

Unexpectedly, he pulled me close and kissed me as soon as the door closed. We stood there kissing for what seemed like the longest time until the heat started to build and clothes started to come off. He kept his mouth on mine constantly so I couldn't ask him the critically important question I had in mind.  I thought I'd ask it as I pulled his jersey off over his head, but then I got a look at his chest and decided that this was not a time for talking.

As soon as our clothes were off, he turned me around, put a hand on the back of my neck and bent me over the bed. I threw my hands down in front of me to catch my fall as he pushed my legs apart with one of his knees and pulled my hips up, indicating that he wanted to me to stand, bent over at the waist.

I felt him step back to look.  I felt so exposed, bent over the bed nude while he looked at me, inspected me. I heard him unwrap a condom and put it on.  Thank God.  We hadn't even talked about that. His hands started to caress by back, then my ass, my thighs.  He slid his hand between my legs and very slowly and gently pressed a finger inside me. I shuddered a bit.  He gasped and whispered, "So wet....very nice..."

He pulled out his hand and reached around, putting his fingers in my mouth. I sucked on them obediently, cleaning off every drop as I felt him lean against me. I felt him positioning his cock to enter me, but he was so tall and I was so short....I went up onto my tippy toes.  The extra couple of inches was all he needed, and he slid into me with one deep stroke.

That first experience of new cock is amazing, but this was particularly incredible because it had been 7 years since I had been with anyone besides my husband.  I started to push back against him, but I couldn't because he grabbed my hips and lifted me up slightly so I couldn't get my footing. He fucked me deeply and hard for about 30 seconds and then he came.

I thought, That's it? Surely we're not done.

I laid down on the bed while he disposed of condom #1.  We chatted a bit.  Then I remembered!  I had to ask the question!

"White Sox or Cubs?"

He laughed. He tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away.

"Answer the question first.  Then I'll decide if there's more."

He got serious, looked into my eyes, and said, "Cubs."

"Good answer, " I purred, and I kissed him.

He kissed his way down my neck, lingered for awhile sucking on my nipples, then down my belly. He shifted his body, repositioning himself between my legs, which I had spread wide open for him at that point. I felt his tongue exploring me, until he found my clit. He sucked on it for about 10 seconds, just long enough for me to let a hungry moan escape.

Then he pulled his head up, looked at me, and said, "Wait.  I have a question now."

"Seriously?" I panted.  "Can't it wait?"

"Nope," he said rather matter-of-factly as he slid a couple of fingers inside me and started rubbing my clit with his thumb.

"What is it?"

He teased, "Maybe I shouldn't ask it yet, but I can't let you cum until you answer and unless I get the right answer.  Do you want me to ask you the question now, Kat?"

By now, his finger had found my g-spot and his thumb had my clit and I was rocking my hips, pressing against his hand.

"Yes, ask the question," I moaned.

He stopped moving his hand.  "Maybe not."

"Please!  Please ask the question..."

He started moving his hand again.  I remember thinking, he'd better ask that damned question soon or I won't be able to think clearly enough to answer.

Then he asked the one question that I could answer under any conditions.

"Giants or Dodgers?"

"Giants!" I yelled.  His hand stopped.  For the first time ever, the thought actually crossed my mind that Dodgers might have been the correct answer.

Naaaaahhhhh.

He replaced his thumb with his tongue, finger fucking me while he gave me the best (ok, the only) tongue lashing my pussy had had in seven years.

As soon as I started to shake, he reached up and put his forearm across my belly, holding me still. I was amazed how that forced all of the energy and focus inside me as I came. It was more of an explosion than an orgasm. He kept working it all the way to the end, letting me enjoy every last jolt and shudder.

He gently slid his fingers out of me and climbed back up next to me, kissing me right away, making me taste myself.  He rubbed his wet hand on one of my breasts; then he leaned over me and started kissing and licking it it clean.

After about a minute, he found my mouth again (I was just laying there, dumbfounded and satisfied at that point) and kissed me deeply. His kiss wandered to my neck, then my ear, and he whispered, "Good answer."

We both laughed. We talked some more. Condom #2 and condom #3 were well used (maybe I'll share those details in another post).

Then we looked at the clock and it was time for me to go. We talked about meeting again as we got dressed, but we both finally admitted that it wasn't going to happen.  I had a busy week ahead.  He was flying home on Friday.

We kissed each other goodbye and walked out together. We waved goodbye as we each walked to our cars. That was the last time I saw him.

I drove away thinking, this AM thing may actually work out for me. It turns out that it did because the very next time I logged on, I met J (The Best Sex of My Life).

What's Up with All the Single Guys on Ashley Madison?

The whole point of Ashley Madison is that it's a place for married people to meet each other for affairs. The tag line is "Life is short. Have an affair." On the splash page it says, "The world's leading married dating service for discreet encounters." So what's with the seeming proliferation of single guys?

I have to disclose that I haven't actually been on the site for quite a while, since I took myself off the open market, but I still get the new member notifications about weekly. For the last couple of months, every new member notification has had introductory information on 8 new men, and at least 3 out of those 8 each week are single. Huh?  Sometimes, it has been as many as 5 out of 8.

I thought this was a married dating service?

I know that anyone who isn't interested in the single guys can just ignore them, but that's not the point. I liked knowing that the men I met on that site were going to be married (or otherwise attached) and that we all understood the importance of discretion and we all shared the same risk. When you start throwing a significant percentage of single folks into the mix, it changes the dynamics completely.

I only have access to the new male member notifications, but I've heard some of my guy friends talk about the same thing happening with the women.

Does this bother anyone else?

I suppose that since the men are paying customers, AM has an interest in taking their money regardless of their marital status.

Single guys have loads of dating sites they can prowl through. There aren't many places that are focused on connecting married people.

So, to the single guys on AM I say, "Shoo, shoo...go on now. Go play with your own kind and let the grown ups have the room."

Wait.....Doesn't This Look Familiar?

I got an email from Liam a few minutes ago with this screen shot attached:

 Then I went to AM myself and, sure enough, there is was.

Hmmmm......something looks familiar.  I think I've seen an image like that somewhere before.....

Oh yeah! It's a lot like our Prowling with Kat image!

Well, they say that imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Their slut doesn't have the full, juicy, "please let me suck your cock" lips that ours has, though. Sorry, AM.  There's only one Kat.