Dodging a Bullet Fired by a "Frighteningly Intelligent" Woman

Sometimes you get a close call when you meet someone on AM. Things start out well, but then they turn, and if they turn before you have invested too much time or given away too much personal information, you feel grateful, like you just dodged a bullet. That's what happened to a close friend of mine.

He shared an email exchange he had with a woman earlier this week. He told me they had only had a few back and forth interactions on AM before attempting to move to email, but that things were looking good.  He sent his email address which happens to refer to his occupation as a lawyer.  She asked if he is, indeed, a lawyer, and he replied that yes, he is.

Here's how she responded. I'm leaving in all errors that were in the original message so you get a complete picture,

"It is an ABSOLUTE F-ING Deal killer, period. 

Lawyers are intellegent and that is not a complement, collectively you people have figured out how to be the primary beneficiaries of the legal system. 

The firm wrongfully sued has to pay $$$$ to you assholes and the person genuinely screwed can't get good representation without coughing a huge percentage, and as such they NEVER get whole. 

Life choices are what they are, you made one years ago and it isn't going to change. 
My life choice is that I refuse to waste time with losers, you are simply one at a more educated level. 

Thanks anyway."

As you might expect, my advice to my friend (let's call him Baseball Guy - BG), was to walk away.  Don't respond.  Be grateful to have dodged a bullet and move along to the next one.

Did he listen?  Of course not! Baseball Guy is quite confident, but I didn't think that anyone could turn that situation around.  Still, he tried.

Here's how he responded:

"I've been brooding about this all afternoon. Look, lumping me in with all the asshole lawyers (and, yeah, there are a lot of them) is just like saying you don't like all Muslims because of 9/11. Whatever you may think of lawyers, in general, doesn't define me: I'm a very good person with a strong sense of social justice, including a lot of work on the kind of tort reform you mention. You'd be very pleasantly surprised, I think, to know more. 

I'll probably be (near you on) business soon. Have lunch or dinner or a drink or whatever with me and then, if you still think I've made a bad life choice, at least you'll know for sure. Don't worry - I'm not a stalker so if you don't reply I'll take that at face value. But I hope you do."

Well, that convinced me.  I'd love to meet him for lunch or dinner or a drink or whatever (I always seem to choose that "whatever" option, though).  Do you think it convinced her?

"Brood all you want, my position is not going to change. A whining lawyer, wow am I wet. Or is that the play the vicim shit you people do so well? 

This can't possibly be the first time that you've heard that attorney's do absolutely nothing to benefit society. 
Your occupation has very low job satisfaction ratings amongst practicing lawyers and a significantly higher than statistical average suicide rate. Always room for improvement, you'll have to figure out which way I am refering to. 

We have spent literally millons on councel defending frivilous B/S that would have been better resolved with the business end of a bat in my opinion, so your up hill battle is insurmountable here. 

As for Muslims, you could not have picked a worse comparison. I believe that Islam teaches that anyone who does not see things their way is fair game. Muslims whine about being lumped together but never come out agianst terrorism in any real, meaningful and substantive way. Yes I have actually read and understand the Koran, so argue all you want. Iread it as a result of being sued by a former employee Mohammed al- Ka BOOM who claimed descrimination. FUCK THEM!! 

As for being a good person............you are on a CHEATER'S website, you simply have no moral ground to hold that position. 

I know exactly what I am doing and why, You are trying to be good and bad at the same time, doesn't work. You can't have it both ways. 

I don't care in the slightest about your life choices, at the end when their is no way out, you'll figure that out and it will be too late for you. 

Stalk all you want the whore my husband hooked up with, her husband is a MMA fighter and has become a friend who actually enjoyes kicking the life out of cheaters 

You attorneys tend to think you are the smartest people in the room, which doesn't tend to end well. 

And yes I' frighteningly intelligent, and not about to fall for your poor put upon crap."

Wow.  At this point, all I could think was I told ya so. Even Baseball Guy knew it was over and that there was no chance of having any intimacy, or even semi-anonymous sex, with this woman.

She wrote that she's "frighteningly intelligent," which is scary given the many errors in her angry missive. I counted 14, and that was only counting what I'm pretty sure were unintentional errors.  The most intelligent people usually don't have that kind of error rate.

In addition, the truly intelligent among us typically don't demonstrate the overt bigotry that Baseball Guy's prospective lover showed in her comments. The "Mohammed al- Ka BOOM" comment made me gasp and shift uncomfortably (and not in a good way) in my chair.

There are many more comments I could make about these writings, but I want to throw it out for comments first to hear what the prowlers think.

I will say this, though. Supposedly, this woman is a real beauty on the outside. That's typically where Baseball Guy starts in his selection process - with the beautiful ones. I know some gorgeous women who are truly beautiful inside and out. Unfortunately, many men are blinded by the outside appearance to the degree that they just can't see that the inside doesn't match, or they overlook (or disparagingly dismiss) those who are not gorgeous on the outside, missing out forever on some unbelievably good and inwardly stunning women.  You may say that it doesn't really matter if you're just looking for a quick fuck or a casual sexual fling.  You're wrong about that. Do you really want to depend on someone so angry, bigoted, and "frighteningly intelligent" to keep your encounter or affair secret?

So, Prowlers, what are your thoughts about this exchange?  And don't worry, you don't have to be afraid of the husband of her husband's whore who is the MMA fighter (the husband, I mean, not the whore).  I'll protect you.

The Novelty Cock

My new potential availability made me give some thought to what I want to do next.

The problem is that I'm not sure how available I am or how long I'll be available.  I know that sounds weird.  You would think I would know this, wouldn't you?

I've started shopping on AM and I've reconnected with JJ, but right now there is more uncertainty than certainty in my prowling life. I do know, however, that it will all shake out soon.

Anyway, several days ago, I decided to reactivate my AM profile. I didn't change it, didn't update it. I just let it go public again.  I did a little browsing to see if there was anyone among the new guys who might be interesting, mainly to wait for my inbox to fill up. After 30 minutes, I checked my inbox and there were about 80 messages.

I deleted all that were private key requests firsts. Not only is that just rude, but my profile specifically says not to do that, so those boys don't read or can't read and they are disqualified either way.

I continued by deleting anyone who wasn't local because again, my profile is very specific about that.  My standard for "local" is "lives in northern California."  That is a big place.

Then I went through all the actual messages quickly, so I could delete the "Wanna fuck?" boys. These are the men who write and lead with a lewd suggestion or just come out and quickly say, "Wanna fuck?"

I was left with about 40 legitimate messages and two private key attachments.  Those are not-for-public photos sent to me. That was intriguing. There was no accompanying message. The attached profile was sparse. I understand voyeurism, but what's the thrill in sending your dirty pic over cyberspace to a woman whose reaction you'll never see? I don't get it. For some reason I opened the first one, and -- BAM! -- there was a cock pic on my screen. No face. No friendly selfie.  Just a dick.

It occurred to me that he might have sent it because he's proud of it and he thought that I'd take one look at his dick and say, "I must have that man!" It didn't have the effect on me, but maybe it would for other women.

But then I noted that it was of average length, maybe a shade below average, and it was definitely of average girth. Why would it be any different that all the other erect cocks out there? What makes a cock special 99% of the time is the man to whom it is attached.

Then I looked closer and noted that the its veins were rather pronounced. They weren't just pronounced; they formed a rather unique pattern like I've never seen before (and I've seen quite a few cocks in my life).

I enlarged the photo so I could see better, and I'll admit, it was pretty cool. The pattern looked rather artistic.  Remembering the function that those veins serve in male anatomy, I tried figure out how they would work properly.  Some crisscrossed others, some were almost spiral. I enlarged the photo again, but it just got grainy and didn't enhance the detail at all.  I leaned closer to my screen, examining it like a science experiment.

Then I sat up abruptly. This was a novelty cock!

It's just like the weird little knick-knacks that you pick up on vacation that are meant to be admired on the shelf but never really used, or the hat with the clapping hands that you gave your dad for his last birthday, or the singing fish you gave to your brother-in-law.

What's the main purpose of novelties? They are meant to spark conversation. This cock was a conversation piece.

For a minute, I was glad I didn't delete the message as soon as I saw the pic, like I usually do, because I'd like to contact him and ask if that's real or Photoshopped. I wanted to touch it, look at it up close.

Fortunately, my sanity returned.  I realized that I was about to engage in a message conversation with a guy who did nothing but send a cock pic. No, that wasn't going to happen, but it made me think about how difficult it is for guys to get attention on AM and how they struggle just to get women to engage in a meaningful conversation. This guy's strategy was not bad. It almost hooked me.

In spite of this interesting example, I still don't recommend leading with a cock pic. I used to say it never works.  I can't say that anymore, but I know it's not a good idea.

I smiled as I deleted the pic. There's still a tiny part of me that wants the back story of that cock, but more interesting discoveries laid ahead in my inbox.

Head or Tail?

So, which is it?

A Week of Prowling on Ashley Madison

I just deactivated my AM profile again after a week of prowling and exploration.  I was looking for something/someone very specific this time and I believe I found it/him.  That's why I shut down the profile.  Who needs a million unwanted messages?  Not me.

The whole experience was interesting, though.  Some things haven't changed.  The "Wanna Fuck?" Boys are still there in force, leading with a message asking for photos or skipping straight to, "wanna fuck?" I wonder, does that strategy actually work for them? Or are they just too stupid to adapt? If the latter is true, I am glad we're doing a service for the next generation of prowling women because at least those guys aren't getting sex and won't produce any offspring.

Another thing that hasn't changed is the massive amount of men who haven't taken the time to actually complete their profile and write something interesting about themselves.  Am I really supposed to make a decision based on location, age, height, weight, and ethnicity?  Really?  Uh, no.

What has changed since the last time I logged on is that there is definitely more creativity.  While some guys still haven't figured it out, some definitely have. One of these days, I'll share some of the best profile write-ups I saw.

So, what attracted me this time? I think my fascination with boy toys is finally over because I was definitely drawn to the older guys again. There really is a difference in maturity, ability to communicate, and how they treat a woman - even when it's just online and over the phone. There are exceptions, of course, but I like being treated politely and having my messages returned in a timely manner.  Call me crazy. I enjoy having a non-sex discussion that doesn't feel like it's just something he's trying to get through so we can talk about sex.

I can admit that what I want in this regard has changed recently.  It's not that I want sex any less (oh, hell no!), but that I want more than sex. And I think I deserve more.

I want friendship, intimacy, and great sex.

I want it all.

The Councilman

When we started chatting on AM, he told me his name was Joe. I had no reason not to believe him, even though it's pretty common for men to use a fake name to begin with.  Whatever.  We sent messages back and forth on AM for a few days and then we moved to email for a couple of weeks. He didn't seem to be in a hurry for a meeting, so I decided I could lay back, too, for awhile.

I thoroughly enjoyed our conversations and chats. He was smart and very funny. He didn't send any photos, but that didn't matter to me. The friendship that was developing was fun. Of course, he had seen photos of me, but I didn't think anything of it until one day my little chat window popped up and it was him.

"I hope you don't get mad at me, but I need to tell you something," he said.

"O.k., shoot," I replied.

After a pause, he wrote, "I know who you are."

At first I felt a bit nervous, but then I realized that I had already decided that he was a trustworthy guy. I was sure it would be fine.

"O.k.," I said. "How do you know me?"

He went on to explain that we hadn't really met, but he knew who I was and we knew a lot of the same people.  Then he told me how he knew me, and yes, he knew exactly who I was. For a moment I cringed thinking about how shocked he must have been to get that topless photo and realize, "Whoa! I know that woman!"

Then he said he wanted to get together.

"But don't I get to know who you are?" I asked.

"You'll know when you see me," he said.

Oh my god, I thought. Is this one of Hubby's friends? A client? A neighbor? UGH!!!

I tried to get more information out of him, but it was useless.  He wasn't going to share anything except in person. He wanted to meet at an out of the way place in the country, about 45 minutes away.

"Uh, no," I told him. "There's no way I'm meeting someone whose name I don't even know out in the middle of nowhere - alone. Sorry."

Then the negotiations began. I suggested a place. Too public.  He suggested a place.  Too isolated. He assured me that I would feel safe as soon as I saw him and recognized who he was.

"Sure," I said. "That's what all the ax murderers say."  He laughed.  That was good. We finally agreed to meet at a Catholic church near that isolated spot he had first suggested.  We'd meet in the church, which was open during the day.  There would likely be someone there, so we wouldn't talk. If, after I saw him, I felt safe, we'd leave separately and go meet at the place in the country. It felt so much like a 007 mission that I had to laugh.

I got to the church first and went in. I picked out a pew about four rows from the door, genuflected, crossed myself, and took a seat. No, the irony was not lost on me. Married Catholic gal meeting in a church in the presence of the Eucharist before, potentially, going to have sex with a married man - and blessing herself.  Note to self, I thought. Next time, don't pick a church.

Within a few minutes, I heard the door open behind me.  I didn't turn to look around because I wouldn't do that if I had just stopped in for a moment of prayer.  I waited. There were four other people in the church, spread out all over the place. Three were little old ladies.  One was a man, but I was certain he wasn't the man I was meeting because I didn't recognize him, and Joe (or whatever-his-name-was) told me I would know him when I saw him.

I listened to the footsteps as the person who came in the door behind me stepped into the church and started walking up the aisle.  I waited. Then I was nervous. I heard him step into the pew directly across the aisle from me and sit down. I slowly turned and looked.

As soon as I saw him I smiled and chuckled a bit, trying not to make any noise.  He was right.  I knew exactly who he was.  You don't meet city councilmen on AM every day. He looked a little sheepish and then raised his eyebrows and tilted his head toward the door as if to say, "Ok? Can we go now?" I nodded yes.  He left.  Then, about 10 minutes later, I left, too.

For the few of you who know me and know where I live, let me tell you that I'm not going to tell you which city this councilman served. And because I am very committed to protecting his privacy, I can't share with any of you his age or what he looked like. I haven't seen him for a long time (before I met JJ), but I told him I would take his secret to the grave with me, and I will.

When I got to the place we agreed to meet, he was already there. His car was parked behind the barn, just like he said it would be, and it was empty, so I figured he was in the barn. I parked and walked in. I saw him arranging some hay bales (my first clue that he was very strong) into what looked like a makeshift bed. I watched him for about 30 seconds and, after he had spread the blanket over the "bed," I said, "Hi, Joe."

He turned and smiled.  Then he said, "Do you see now why I was so reluctant to tell you."

"Well," I said. "There's reluctance and there's paranoia." I later would have the same conversation with webcam guy, but that's another story entirely.

He sat down on the hay bed and motioned for me to come over. As I sat down, he dragged and pushed another bale in front of us, opened a duffle bag he had with him, and spread out a table cloth. Then he pulled out some wine glasses and sparkling cider, and then some cheese, sliced apples, and grapes. Yeah, I can admit that I was impressed. This was nice. Definitely not a typical booty call.

We laughed and talked for about half an hour, enjoying each other's company and our little lunch. I was completely lost in the moment and having a great time, so even I was surprised that I was caught off guard when he took the glass out of my hand, set it on the ground, and leaned over to kiss me.

It was a perfect kiss. Truly perfect. He slid his hand up under my blouse and unhooked my bra easily.

I smiled into our kiss and said, "You've done this before."

"Once or twice," he answered, before silencing me with another kiss.

We undressed each other slowly, taking turns.  My blouse. His shirt. My pants. His.  My bra and panties. His shorts.

He leaned me back until I was laying down (FYI- even with a blanket, hay bales are hard and prickly) and then he climbed on top of me sliding his hands slowly all over my body as he kissed me, but avoiding the most sensitive places, the places that by then I really wanted him to touch.

Every now and then I'd open my eyes and think, "Holy shit! This is Councilman Joe. What the fuck am I doing?!?" But then he'd brush his hand across my pussy and kiss me harder and I'd get dizzy and forget about who he was.

Soon, he found my clit and started rubbing. I rocked my hips forward to press against his hand  but he grabbed my hair tight and looked into my eyes sternly. "Don't move," he said. I couldn't nod my head to indicate assent, but I had a feeling I wasn't supposed to say anything either, so I just stopped moving and waited.

He went back to work. It didn't take long for me to get very close to orgasm.  I'd start shaking and then he would stop and repeat that I was to be still.  Then he'd start again.  The third time he stopped, I growled, "If you want me to be still, quit doing that!" He yanked my hair again.  "That's the Kat I've heard about," he laughed, "Saucy, spirited, and a bit annoying."

While he was talking, without warning, he entered me roughly, fully in one stroke. I gasped and squealed a bit, but his mouth was on mine in a split second to muffle the noise. He pulled back from the kiss and hissed, "Quiet!"

I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him into me and he fucked me very, very hard and slowly.  He pulled back each stroke like a receding wave and then he thrust into me more forcefully each time. He turned his head away from my face, leaned over and bit my shoulder  - HARD! I was about to tell him to stop because he'd leave a mark, but I started to cum.  As I shook, he bit harder and that just turned me on more. I started bucking against him. He screamed when he came, which startled me a bit since he had seemed so obsessed with keeping me quiet, but there was no time to think about that. My orgasm started before his, lasted through his, and continued a few seconds beyond his.

When it was finished, he lifted his head and looked at me. "Oh my god!" I shouted.

His mouth and chin were covered with blood. He wiped at his mouth with his arm as we both turned and looked at my shoulder. "Jesus," he said. "I'm really sorry! Why didn't you stop me?!"

"Because I was coming,"I said, "and I liked it. And oh my god, how am I going to explain this?"

He grabbed a couple of napkins from the bag and pressed them on my shoulder, telling me to apply pressure. Then he pulled his pants on and left the barn. I stared up at the ceiling and noticed, for the first time, the beauty of the place.  Streaks of afternoon sunlight were peeking through the roof. It was very clean, but still quaint and rustic. I wondered how he knew of this place and if he had brought other women here.

My thoughts were interrupted when he came back in with a first aide kit. He cleaned the wound, put on a bandage, taped it securely. I handed him a napkin and told him he might want to clean the blood off his face.

"You look like a vampire," I told him.

He laughed and said, "I've been called worse."

"The next time someone tells me that your bark is worse than your bite," I said, "I'm going to tell them 'No, it's not!' "

We laughed again and he lay back down next to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.

"I mean it," he whispered. "I'm really sorry."

I snuggled a little closer and didn't say anything for a while.  I thought about how I would explain the wound on my shoulder that looked exactly like a human mouth. I came up with a plan...and then I felt a little better.

We relaxed and talked a while longer, but eventually it was time to go. We got dressed, cleaned up the picnic supplies, and put the hay bales back as they were before either of us had arrived. As I stood at the door and looked back as I was leaving, it didn't look like we had ever been there.

As we stood at my car, he asked when he'd see me again. I joked that I'd have to attend the next council meeting because there was some guy running around in the country biting women, and that had to be stopped.

"No, seriously," he said. There was that stern voice back again.

"You tell me," I answered.

"Next Tuesday, then. Noon?"

"O.K."

He kissed me quickly, a peck on my lips. He jogged around his car to the driver's side and then he looked back at me and said, "You bring lunch. And I'm going to taste other parts of you next time."

The Lingering Trauma of Prowling

By Somewhere Man

The picture taunts me at work. Every day. The beautiful woman that I fell in love with last year is still in my life. Only she isn't. This woman, whom I wrote and wrote about amid the heartache and heartbreak of last fall, now has a prominent spot in my office. Her image is now in a framed photo next to my closest colleague, a man a whole whopping 26 years older than I am. He's old but not to old to be fucking her. But he has a ton of money and, now that her divorce is final, she is single.

Just like the old man.

Because we work together, I see his endless photos as he flies her to California and Florida. The old man looks pretty damn happy and he should be. He's tapping an unspeakably beautiful woman.

Last night, I was at a going away party for a mutual colleague. Old Man and Blonde Hottie are at a side table of this upscale bar. She sits on his aged lap, arms around him, kisses him deep and then she opens her eyes and makes eye contact with me and smiles.

Ouch.

Many days I walk past the framed picture of the smokin' hot, blonde and suddenly-single cougar and think, "damn, how did I lose her to a frail old man with a bad back?". Yet, more and more, I think: "damn, I really dodged a bullet with that crazy whore." Especially as, in the two years since I crossed a line and became a prowler, I have seen it blow up in far too many peoples' faces.

***

Let's see. I've seen hilarious and popular prowling blogs lead to people (men and women) being "outed" and their unaware spouses finding out. I've seen people get busted through Facebook flirting and messaging. Some of these marriages ended in divorce. Some didn't.

I've been lucky. A recent "outing scare" over the winter sent me off-line for good.

So much of writing a blog about this was to show off. To, somehow, validate that a middle-aged guy like me could still score a parade of gorgeous women even as I could not get indifferent and increasingly unattractive wife to even do anything to or with me in bed.

For the last two years, I have found myself in the embrace of a bevy of beauties. Thin waifs who needed to eat a steak. Curvy women fretting over love handles. Women from different ethnic backgrounds but all women who simply wanted what they were missing. The closeness. The feeling of desire.

Now I just wonder how empty it all was... and still is.

It's just been a game.

Yet it was a game that I had freakin' mastered. As a guy on AM, I had hit a point where 90% of the messages I would send out would be answered. If I was able to talk my way into a "face-to-face", I would usually get my desires filled fairly quickly. As I look back on the actual totals, I met with a total of 9 women from AM. That equaled 7 BJs or intercourse, 1 woman who didn't want me and 1 woman I backed away from. It was not because of my dashing and debonair nature.

I would argue it was because I found "the system" to make it work. In fact, by the end of all this, I had become so proficient in "the system" that I had to even make it appear so non-rehearsed and smooth.

I was joking with Kat recently as I was in a bookstore and came across a book in the "Relationships" section that was a 200-page book about picking up women. 200 pages? I can sum it all up in the rest of this post.

For AM Pickups: I will start here as this is now a very common way to hook up. I cannot stress enough how easy it really is here, especially if you live in a major metro area. I live in a mid-size city which means I have to be extremely careful on who I meet or how much I reveal right away. Yet, AM women are "already on second base". At least the ones that are not those "autobots", out to take away all of your credits.

Target Precisely. Avoid the temptation to buy 100 credits and then message 15 women at once. Allow yourself a maximum of 4 messages a week. That's it. When you have an 80-90% response rate (as I do), 4 is the maximum that I can juggle at one time. Decide which 4 "contestants" will be here for this week. Write on a Saturday or a Sunday and see where it goes.

An Authentic Note Helps. This I also cannot stress enough. I'll offer my standard opening line for you guys: "Amid the 577 men who are probably chasing you, I hope you can take the time to learn a little more about me...." And I am off and running. It's a balance of revealing a little more about yourself (but not too much). Ask her three questions about herself. Mine are easy: Why are you here? What do you crave? What drives you crazy? They almost always respond.

No Talk About Sex Until She Talks About Sex. I am 99.44% certain that Kat has covered this. Far too many men send cock shots or talk about how they like to pump from behind with a finger in her ass. Don't do it...even though we are all here for it.

Once you're on the second message from her, then it is time to move her to an email address. Then, after a few days of emailing, move her to Google Voice.

For Non-AM Pickups: Damn, these are tricky. The woman I fell in love with was a "non-AM pickup". Those are nerve-racking, especially as I refuse to ever get involved with anyone in my workplace. I had one of these non-AM pickup situations this week. I'm at a big-box hardware store and the woman who helped me pick out my paint was stunning. Tall, thin, 40ish, black hair, full eyes, great smile. As I leave, I notice she has the wedding ring (perfect as I do not pursue single women), she tells me that she has five kids.

Me: "I hope that you have someone in your life who tells you that you have a superb smile."

Her (shocked): "Wow... actually, I don't. He never tells me. We're in counseling."

Me: "Well (as I scribble), here is my number in case you'd ever like a man to tell you that you have a great smile."

She texted me five minutes later, agreeing to meet me for coffee the next day.

Yet, with the non-AM pickup, it is like an operating room patient that took a bullet to the chest. "The next 24 hours will be critical". A "straight pickup" will probably be filled with doubts and even guilt that she is considering a date. Mrs. Hot Raven-Haired Lady texted me the next day that she was full of guilt and only wanted to be friends. I wrote that I understood and hoped that she kept smiling.

Perhaps she will be back. Perhaps not.

Something, something about the chase.

The First Face-To-Face/Coffee Date: The most important logistic. Do not meet within five miles of either of your houses. It's not a spouse I'm worried about seeing. It's her little friends. It's a coworker. That's what worries me. I always pick a place away from my side of town and, often, at a non-peak hour. That means a coffeehouse at 10 am, 3 pm or 7 pm.

- Smile and Have Her Drink Ready. Find out if she loves mango smoothies and have it ready to go. This also allieviates the issue of standing in a slow-moving coffeehouse line with a woman who is not your wife.

- Have a Plan For The "Hour". Mine is always the same. Let her talk about her day for five minutes to blow off some steam. Answer any questions she has. I delve into one of my three "stock stories" from my past that are hilarious, detailed and self-deprecating. The woman always laughs at the end. Then we transition into what it is what we're doing here, on the edge of an affair.

About 50% of the time, it ends with me trying to walk her to her car. In those situations, I don't lean in for the kiss unless I see that she wants it badly. The other 50% of the time, especially if she has an SUV or a minivan with tented windows and if the date is going well, I recommend that we go sit in her ride. Middle row. In that situation, you'll have her reaching for your belt buckle within 15 minutes. Guaranteed.

Why write all of this? Ego, perhaps. But also because I've found "the system" that works for me. I am a decent looking guy but also one who is curious and listens to what a woman has to say. It's the balance between "alpha" and "beta". I always arrive with a plan (alpha) but I do listen and try and make her feel more comfortable (beta).

I also write this because, for all of the success I've had in tasting this delicious flesh, I also know how badly it can hurt as well. The image of a woman I wanted to be "the love of my life" taunts me in the office every day. I see her kissing that old man and I can't do anything about it. It hurts.

This is a dangerous game we all play.

Be careful.

Madison... What happened?

Daunt here.  For those that have been following, you saw my note in Panty Games part 1 that Madison and I are no longer seeing one another.  As promised I'll share with you what I can along with any thoughts I may have.  But first for those that are new or haven't been following my Madison posts, let me recap, just to bring them up to speed.

At the end of 2010 I hit a pretty rough patch in my life.  I was depressed and lonely, and still married.  I needed something, but I didn't know what it was.  Just trying to grasp at literally anything to break me out of my funk I got onto Ashley Madison which was fun. Ashley Madison was a distraction, a game.  Good things came out of it honestly. It was there I met Kat and our friendship began and shortly after I met Madison in early 2011.

Madison and I became friends via email then shortly after met for dinner a couple of times.  We enjoyed each other's company and there was a connection, but Madison was going on an out of country vacation that summer with husband.  Also at this time I still had not yet chosen to divorce my wife.  Madison went on her trip and I stopped hearing from her.  I just assumed she reconnected with her husband.

Fall of 2011 I chose to divorce and shortly after, out of the blue, I received a text from Madison.  We reconnected over dinner and a romance began to blossom.

My time with Madison was wonderful and we grew to love one another.  But this is not to say that we were never confronted with guilt or regret.  As I grew to know Madison, I also by extension learned a little about her husband.  She loved him.  I knew this.  The man seemed clueless and neglectful, but he didn't seem like a bad guy.  This bothered me because at times I felt like I was taking from, and possibly hurting, a man I had no grudge against.  Also at times Madison would be twisted up about needing the intimacy we shared, but at the same time knowing she did love her husband.

If you would like to read about Madison and the fun we had go to the All DauntlessD page.

What happened?  Why did it end?  Well, Madison and I were a pretty big part of one another's lives and when that happens it becomes something you want to share.  Madison told her best friend who she was sure would keep her confidence.  Madison was wrong.  Her now ex-friend just needed the right situation to gossip.  Shortly after, the news of Madison's affair bubbled up to her husband.

So, listen up!  Here is a rule for those of you either in or considering an affair.  If you are worried about being caught, tell no one! I know first hand how hard this can be -- and trust me it is hard!  As you grow to care about and know this other person, you just naturally want to share things you talked about, or that funny thing that happened with your other friends.  It's tough.  Believe me.

Now let's talk about the hurt and pain.  Of course Madison's husband was angry initially, but that changed to feeling heart-wrenching hurt and betrayal.  Madison didn't want to hurt her husband in this manner and she felt tremendous guilt about that.  At the same time she loved me and didn't want to hurt me.  To make matters worse she was isolated because she had no one to go to -- her best friend had betrayed her.  The pressure cooker she was in was simply awful and the helplessness I felt made me feel just as bad.

Madison began making plans to move out of her home and leave her husband. Maybe it was the affair.  Maybe it was the fact that he finally believed he was going to lose her, but at this point Madison's husband caught a clue.  He finally in earnest began fighting to save his marriage and keep his wife.  It took nearly a month for Madison to believe it was real, but it worked.

Here is where my heartbreak begins.  The communication between myself and Madison had been severely diminished since her husband found out.  Soon after entering a grocery store my phone rings.  Standing in a health food aisle I listen as Madison tearfully explains she is going to give her husband another chance.  Of course I say the right things and I tell her I understand; but as the day wears on a weight starts settling on me.  It feels like an icy iron fist is gripping my heart and slowly squeezing.

Of course I knew this could happen -- I was seeing a married woman!  What I hadn't counted on was the suddenness.  This woman I had grown to love and have an intimate relationship with was just... gone.  The plans we already had on the calendar weren't going to happen now.

Loneliness came in like a hammer.  And as I reflected on this I realized I had set this up 8 months prior without realizing it.  You see, I began seeing Madison before I had moved my would-be ex-wife out of the house.  By seeing Madison I had inadvertently delayed the loneliness I would have felt at the end of my marriage.

I've done an enormous amount of reflecting, trying to weigh whether all of what has happened was collectively more good or more bad.  In the end I think there is more positive than negative.  The joy and intimacy Madison and I shared is something I'd hate to have missed.

Maybe it was a mistake.  Maybe I was foolish to let myself get as emotionally invested as I did.  I'm not sure.

"Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all." ~ Lord Alfred Tennyson

Lobbing the PWK Bomb

Daunt here.  We have a smart bunch of readers so I thought I would solicit some advice and generate a little discussion.

Recently I decided to check out a few of the more popular dating sites.  I created an account using my DauntlessD persona and just tried to be playful.  After week or so and sending out a few messages etc, I generally had the feeling they are all quite similar to Ashley Madison; the ratio of men to women allows women to be pretty choosy.

The whole vibe of the sites began to wear on me and one evening, when I was feeling a bit surly, I received an unsolicited message from a woman.  I responded, attempted a little banter, but my heart wasn't in it.  Then I began to grow irritated with some of her questions.  It was clear she was used to men falling all over themselves and answering any question and providing more photos promptly.  So I did something I wouldn't normally do, I sent her the link to my All DauntlessD page.  In essence I was feeling a little testy and I was saying, here take this and go away.  Then what happened was pretty comical.

Her: That was TMI web site Omg

Me: Well it's me.  Read DauntlessD Exposed.  This is a side of me I won't hide from someone I'm seeing.

Her: Wow

Me: Read The Art that is Woman. It's one of my favorites.

Her: Ok... you're scaring me

And that was that.  I stopped hearing from her.  She officially ran for the hills.

So, here is what I would like you all to chime in on.  Upon meeting a new love interest, when should I share this blog and my writing with them?  I'm very curious to hear your thoughts and especially the difference of opinion between men and women.

When Your Wife's Pie Gets Cold...

I ran across this on the Ashley Madison Facebook page this morning and I just had to share it. Admit it.  It makes you smile, doesn't it?

Re-Visiting Ashley Madison

Well, I got a bee in my bonnet this week. I was a little upset with JJ, so I decided to jump back on AM and see what's up.  I also needed to do some research for a reader who responded to my post about how not to approach a woman on AM with a request for what works. That's a reasonable request, and there are some strategies that are more effective than others - at least with me.

First, though, I want to share some of my experiences of the past several days. First, single women out in the dating scene lament that "all the good ones are married."  I would have to agree. I have found a treasure trove of possibilities this time around. Sure, there are still plenty of "Wanna fuck?" boys, but I've noticed a lot of really nice guys this time - educated, bright, witty, polite.  Wow.  I was caught off guard. If you're in the northern California area (Sacramento/Bay Area), prepare to be pleasantly surprised.

I also noticed that my biggest AM pet peeve is still alive and well. There are lots of men who still send requests for your private key (request for private photos) as their introductory approach, before they even say 'hello.'  That is such a low-class approach. Usually I just hit the little "delete" button, but this time I tried a little education, responding with a request for "hello" or some other perfunctory form of conversation first.  About 50% didn't respond at all, 25% responded with, "Hi.  Can you send your photos now?" The final 25% responded with various insults and curses. I was called a "fucking cunt" several times, to which I responded, "Yes, but I won't be fucking YOU.  Good luck!" These are the men who should not be allowed to reproduce. They do seriously undesirable things to the gene pool.

But I digress.....again.....

I did get a surprise, though.  One of those requests for a key that was unaccompanied by conversation came from one of my previous fuck buddies. Yes, Young One on Fire, my fireman play mate, sent me a key request. I wasn't surprised that he didn't recognize me from my profile because I changed the profile - and the photo - and the username - this time.  I complied with his request for a key and gave him a firm tongue lashing about his poor manners (in writing. Not the tongue lashing he received when we last met). How else will the young ones learn?

In spite of of noticing lots of guys who did things wrong, there were many who did it right, and a few who did it very, very right.  Here's what works on AM to get Kat to meow:

1. Read the gal's entire profile and put something relevant to her profile in the subject line of the message. Most of your competition (and I'm not counting the "wanna fuck" boys or the "gimme your key" guys as your competition) is going to put something like "Hi" or "Let's talk" in the subject line of their first messages. You need to use something from her profile that links to something about you. For example, one that got my attention was "Fellow Springsteen Fan."  He would have had to read all the way to the bottom of my profile to know that. That inspired me to open his message. Another guy tried an opposite approach that still indicated that he had read my profile.  His subject line was "Dodger Fan." Of course I had to open his message if for no other reason than I wanted to reply to tell him that if we meet, I'll be wearing a strap-on because I love to fuck Dodger fans. Inside it said, "Just kidding, but I wanted you to notice me."  Hehehe. Remember your first goal - to get her to open your message. The subject line matters. 
2. Make that first message engaging. I can't emphasize this enough. It should be more than one sentence.  It should say something about what you liked about her profile.  It should say something about you that's not in your profile. If you can be witty, do so.
3. End your first message with a question. It should be a question about her. It should be a question that inspires her to hit "reply" so she can answer it. "Did you see Jonathan Sanchez' no-hitter?" "Are you planning to read that new book about Yogi Berra by Harvey Araton, Driving Mr. Yogi?" Those aren't questions that will work for everyone, but hey, were perfect for me.  The two gentlemen who asked those had me hitting reply to respond with a smile on my face. They read my profile, they paid attention. They were rewarded with a reply.
4. Stay away from any mention of sex in the first message.  Unless her profile explicitly says something like, "I don't want to be friends. I don't want to talk.  I just want to fuck," do not bring up sex in that first message. Yes, they are there for an affair, too.  Yes, they know that sex will be involved and they probably want it, but they won't fuck you unless they trust you. And if you start off with talk about sex, they will think you are a player, and players can't be trusted. You need to be a nice guy who wants someone to talk to.  You don't have to be totally Beta, but use a soft entry. Introduce sex in the second message, but not as a "wanna fuck" statement.  It should be more like, "You seem like a very sensitive and passionate woman. I can only imagine how great that must be in private."  Subtle.  Unless it's me. I responded to that with, "That's too bad. I already have a lover who brings out the sensitive side of me. I was hoping for some mind-blowing sex tomorrow. Good luck."  LOL.  I was just playing and being silly, though.  That was an excellent line.
5. Be persistent.  Unless she tells you to go away, follow up.  Send another message in a day or two, or in a week.  Be engaging. But don't be a stalker.  Stalkers are bad. At some point, probably after the third message, if she doesn't reply, just let her go.
6. Don't sound too desperate. The one who has my heart twitterpating right now is one who has shown a casual interest.  He's clearly very bright, attractive, desirable, but he didn't jump immediately to "Let's meet," which makes me want to what?  Meet, of course. :-) (It doesn't mean I will.  Just that I want to.  Kat does have some self-control, ya know.) Desperation is like female repellent.  Face it.  Most of us have men at home who don't do much for us anymore in the bedroom. In most cases, we've got them wrapped around our fingers in just about every way. We don't want that when we're shopping on AM.  We want confidence. We want self-assurance. We want a man who knows that he's desirable. We want what we don't have at home.
7. Be careful of that "Member Feedback" on the bottom of your profile. For most men, if they see positive feedback on a woman's profile, they think, "Hey! She's a good one.  If other guys liked her, I might, too." It's the opposite for women. We steer clear of men with lots of feedback numbers. We are not into competition like you guys are. A few feedback numbers are ok, but too many is bad. Your best bet if you have any is to have it under "gives good chat" and "worth the time."
8. Be yourself.  I know.  You're thinking that I've just told you to do everything but be yourself, but that's not true.  Do what you need to do to get her to open your first message and reply. YOU need her to engage with you before you can show her your charming real self. Once your foot is in the door, just be you. And remember that it's a real woman you're talking to. Imagine she were sitting right in front of you.  While the internet lets you get to the point faster than you could in person, would you really say, "Are you a freak?  Do you like suck cock?" Come on. Be real.

In spite of all this excellent advice, it's still true that it's harder for men than women. The competition is stiffer (pun intended) and the women know it. Some are not very nice.  And then you have all the hookers and escorts to contend with. Don't worry.  Just keep trying.  The right one for you is there.

After all, that's where I found JJ and he found me. :-)

The Ones Who Broke My Heart ....

I have no idea why I'm writing this post. It's just in me, pushing to come out.  Daunt and I were talking about that recently - how sometimes a post just demands to be written, and when that happens it pretty much writes itself.

Here's how it came about for me today.  I was thinking about Hubby and our date night today.  Then I was thinking about JJ and a really nice text exchange we had earlier today. Then I was reflecting on how much I loved these two men. I love them differently, but they are both very important to me. Then my mind started wandering to the few others I've loved in my life, and how it went with them.

Believe it or not, I've only fallen in love - and I mean head over heals in love - several times in my life. I've had relationships that looked like they were going in that direction, but then something changed before affection was transformed into love.

Real love....for me it's rare, and permanent. I don't think I've ever fallen out of love with anyone I really loved. Sometimes the relationship changed, but the feelings never did for me.  Sometimes it just doesn't work out the way you would like, and that can be a good thing.  A friendship with someone you love is wonderful.

I definitely love Hubby, and I always will.  And I love JJ. There's no doubt about that. I know, though, that there will be a point at which there will be heartbreak with each of them.

One of the things I like to say about marriage is that it never ends well. It always ends in either divorce or death.  Well, I don't see divorce in my future with Hubby at all, but I see death on the horizon (hopefully, far away on the horizon), and that sucks.

As for JJ, you know that I've told you that prowling always leads to heartache. It's just a matter of when. But I plan to enjoy JJ for every moment that I can.

There are others, though, who broke my heart along the way (in no particular order):

Matt - Matt was my boyfriend for just a few months in 8th grade. He was the first boy I ever made out with (although not my first kiss). He dumped me for a girl named Gina who was always showing off her precociously big tits by wearing tube tops even though that was clearly against the dress code at school (but I'm not bitter...really, I'm not. LOL). Matt didn't have the nerve to dump me to my face.  Instead, he requested our song at a school dance and then danced with her. Then, with everyone watching - looking at them, then at me, then back at them - he kissed her. That's how I found out that we were done. I was completely heartbroken and humiliated.  As strange as it sounds, it still stings me a little today.

Webcam Guy - It was a unique relationship.  We met on AM, had some sexual encounters, but not many.  Mostly, we became very good friends, and it was a friendship that kind of snuck up on me unexpectedly. I shared things with him that I had never told anyone. He meant a lot to me (he still does) and eventually I fell for him.  I am pretty sure it was more on the friendship side than the romantic side, but it really doesn't matter because he just cut of all contact with no explanation.  A few months later, he gave me a little more of an explanation, but then all contact was cut off again. That one still hurts a lot, especially whenever I drive by where he lives or works. It will probably make more sense if I explain that I don't make friends easily.  Oh, I can fuck strangers without a second thought and love it, but actually trust someone with anything that really matters to me? That's extremely rare for me.  Close friends worth trusting are hard to find.  I still don't get why he would throw that away.

F- I fell for F very early on in our relationship. We enjoyed many of the same things and we wrote an incredible amount of email in the early days.  Some of it was fantasy, some was just about life. There was an undeniable connection. We both knew it, and we decided to meet in person a couple of months after we met online. That meeting (in a hotel room, of course) didn't go well - for either of us, I think - but we didn't talk about it afterwards.  We just kind of went back to our online relationship, which was great. Both of us had a lot going on in our lives at that time and we didn't really have a chance to meet again. Then, about three or four weeks after our first meeting disaster, I got the email. He didn't want to stick with one person.  He wanted to still look around and see who he could find. I was dumped. When I read it, it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't think. I remember the feeling.  It was exactly the feeling I had in 8th grade when I saw Matt kissing Gina on the dance floor. Heartbroken. Humiliated. Rejected. F quickly explained that he still wanted to be friends.  So, I was just being dumped as a lover, not as a friend.  Well, that's better, I thought. Sort of. I agreed, and we continued the friendship, which is a good thing, of course, but over a year later there are still times when that pain rushes back in. I don't think I'll ever forget being rejected.  I try not to let it interfere with our friendship today, but I can't help it sometimes.

Love hurts. The problem is that you can't always tell when it's coming.

Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote in his poem, In Memoriam: 27 (1850)

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

I love that.  It reminds me that I'm not the only one to have loved and lost. My life is richer because of the experiences I've had and the people I've known, especially the ones I've loved. When I think about people who have never known the kind of love that I have, I'm very grateful...even for the ones who broke my heart.

*********************************************

I know.  Some of you are reading this and thinking. "That's nice, but when do we get another sex post?!?"

Soon, my impatient prowlers.  Soon.

She wasn't a Lipstick Lesbian

Daunt here. Well we have another guest post, this one from Clem, and it's quite a story.

_________

The beginning

"Well if I get the fuckin' fanstastic title then I am going to keep working at the naughty. Maybe throw in some selfish and wicked ... but in my "sweet" way. ;) "

Her reply to me after we had re-engaged this past summer.

She had hit on my AM profile right away, within a few days of me posting it. I said that I had been re-reading her profile, and waited, wanting to reply. She wrote right back. She was looking for an older man, interviewed some, but no one had appealed to her yet.

We were both looking for something we needed, and not getting it in our mate.

We exchanged a bunch of emails that first week. She was attached, married. I was separated. In her second email, she told me she was a lesbian, bi-sexual, married to her "Mrs" as she referred to her wife. She wanted sex with a man, an older, experienced man. Did I have a problem with that? She'd wait to see if I replied before she would want to talk more or meet.

No, not at all. No problem. To some men, it might be a real fantasy-turn-on. Fuck a lesbian? Here I am, a well experienced man, that a lesbian wants a hot, torrid affair with? Yeah, man. But you know, I really didn't look at it that way. Yes, I was intrigued; the why's, what does she want, what will she want to do? (She never did tell me what she and her Mrs. did together.)

I wanted passionate, erotic, sensuous, hot sex. She told me when her wife turned 40, the "Mrs" lost interest in sex, and that now, she was horny all the time. She was the dominant one in her relationship, but didn't want to continue that way, and her Mrs, some 5 years older than her at 43, wasn't interested in sex anymore. She was 37 when we met, I was 58.

She used to slip off her wedding ring after she came in and set her things down.

I had sent her a list of questions, what she'd like, what I like, what did she want. She answered them all very well, positively, no shirking. She didn’t want to use condoms; she was not fertile. It was OK if I wanted condoms, but she didn’t. Great. Hated them. Loved the bare-feeling of my cock in her pussy and ass too much anyway. In her second email, she told me too, she wanted to be 'anally penetrated', wanted to experience this. Well, that got my attention. I love to teach, and show women good, anal sex. Turns out it took a long time before it actually happened, but as she said, she had a 'tight ass'. She liked it played with, no question, licking her ass hole, fingering it, probing her ass. She mine also. Turned out she was well experienced in massaging a man's prostate. I had asked her about rimming, and she replied, 'Absolutely', so, she was into it. She was always, always, very clean, fresh, pussy and ass.

She wasn't a lipstick lesbian by any means, very plain, very short, black, stiff hair, 160, 5'-4, 34B. If I had to describe her further, I would say that she reminds me a lot of k.d. lang. OK, not a real beauty, but that's not all where the attraction was. We talked and laughed a lot in bed, and she had a delightful set of small dimples on the tops of her cheeks that would appear way too seldom.

She is a nurse, working for a major urban hospital here. She worked shift hours, and at times, this was very good, as she could break away at different times during the day to come see me. We had some memorable 'nooners' this way, usually lasting a few hours. In the beginning, she'd come by after her late shift a few times, but that really didn't work out.

She wanted a strictly 'FWB-NSA' situation, with not much other interaction. I was OK with this, and I certainly was not interested in anything involved, nor was I interested in falling for her. She remained very discreet with me regarding her personal life. Yes, she shared some details, but not a lot. I just wanted the passions and the eroticism that came from close, intimate, very personal contact. I wanted these old feelings back. I wanted to please a woman, and have her give me pleasure, like no one else has. She did this, we did it together, we did it all.

I loved her pussy! She had a big clit, and it grew and stuck out when she was aroused. She had short, black, tight pussy hair. Turns out, she absolutely loved to have her pussy and clit licked, tongue-fucked, and also to have her g-spot massaged at the same time. This was a lot of our sex for the next 2 years. When I wanted her to cum, and cum hard, I simply dropped my face down between her legs, spread her pussy lips, and licked in, all over.

She'd moan nicely, grab my head at times, and spread her legs more for me. She made a set of comments about that at one point, saying what I do to her, that she automatically wanted to lie back and spread her legs for me. She did talk sexy and kinky with me some, but not enough. She rarely came, maybe twice, while I was fucking her, once we came together.

Her big clit stuck out well when I sucked on it. I loved it, loved to finger and lick her.

She'd shudder, spasm and writhe in bed when I did this, building up her orgasms. She'd fist the sheets, hold on. When she'd cum, she'd explode and scream out, "Yes, that's it, that's it!, Ahhhh!". I got goose-bumps writing this in remembrance. Over the months, she got into a very comfortable position with me. I'd usually be between her legs, scrunched down, but more having my knees up and bent. She'd get so that she'd rest her ankles against my thighs, bend her legs and knees, and use that for leverage. She'd push back against me this way. I could always tell when she was settling in for a good cum when she did this. Yeah, it took some time, 15-20 minutes at a time, but, wow, could she cum. I'd lick her some, and she'd wiggle her ass and hips, and then I'd introduce one, then two fingers, in her pussy, hot, wet, dripping at times. One time on the couch, I had her up on her knees, and I was licking her pussy, fingering her, two, maybe three fingers in her from the rear, and her juices were literally running down my arm. Loved that always.

But lying between her legs was the best. Sometimes, I'd reach under her legs, push them back so she'd stick her ass and pussy out more. Times, she'd grab her legs, hold them spread, as I licked her clit and pussy. It was easy then to slip down to her perineum, then too, right into her asshole. I know she liked this, and yeah, there were a few times she gasped when I licked her, tongued her ass. Loved to lick around her rosebud, then push my tongue in, hard, deep as I could.

A few times she did open her ass, and I tongued in more, deeper. I loved doing this, and did it as much as I could with her. This would then usually work her up well, and my fingers were wet enough, that I could pretty easily insert my finger in her ass. When she really opened up, my middle finger would be all the way in her ass, with my palm on her butt. A few times I got two in up to the 3rd knuckle.

But fingers in her pussy were great, the best for her.

Licking her clit, then up to 3 fingers in her pussy, palm up, fingers pressed in hard on her g-spot. Very hard, curled around, pushing in, then too, back and forth. One time, right at the end, I was doing this so hard, she was so wet, she'd puddle in the middle of my hand.

She loved to suck me also, on my back, my head propped up so I could watch her. She always looked into my eyes, smiled and she'd devour me. She had some very good oral skills, working my cock-head and frenulum well, 'till I'd blast in her mouth. She'd moan and suck, and drive me crazy. She loved to give me 'cummy kisses' then too.

Oh and, she did like to get fucked also. She was very responsive with me. Some of the best, was simply working her up, hot and wet, fingering her, then easily rubbing the head of my cock in her pussy. Usually this elicited a small moan, a wide-open mouth, and she'd flare open, and I'd ease in. There was onetime when she just grabbed my ass, pulled me in her mostly dry. She said she liked to do that at times. Oh, but that feeling of warm, wet pussy on my cock, her gasping, tight, mmmmm, always a turn-on. There were times too, when I liked to roll on my back, grab her, bring her to me, roll her on top of me. I know I said a few times for her to grind on me, rub her pussy on my cock. She did this a few times too by herself, as she liked to tease almost as much as I did. She'd slide back and forth, wetting me, rubbing my cock, and then arch her hips some to slide down on me, as my cock fully entered her pussy. Doggie-style was the best, for us both. Loved her on her knees, fucking away. After some great pussy-licking, I'd love to then stand at the end of the bed, grab her legs, pull her to the corner. I'd position her ass right at the corner, then push her legs back, and fuck her hard and deep, using my legs to leverage in her. I loved to fuck her like this, very hot, very sexy, and she'd always then say, 'Fuck me, yes, fuck me hard, deep' I loved it when she'd call out like that. She was very vocal that way.

We only really talked and communicated thru email. Oh, and yes, in bed. Yes, we exchanged numbers, but she told me right away, she didn't like to talk on the phone. Oh, we'd text some, not a lot. Again, she didn't seem to like that. She had a 'pay-as-you-go' phone, TrackFone or something. OK, no big deal. As she was working odd shifts, she'd usually send me her schedule, out weeks. I'd suggest times when she could come by, but again, this was on her schedule. A bit odd and frustrating at times, when *I* wanted to fuck or lick her. At the least, I could leave her v-mails, again, usually late at night, so she'd get the message as she drove home after 11 from the late shift. Sometimes I'd try to be funny, sexy, erotic, tell her how much I had enjoyed her that day, or the previous day. She'd always comment on them, tell me she liked to hear them, told me she liked my voice. She never once returned the favor. Don't know why.

In the height of it all, we were emailing a lot, daily, multiple times during the day.

We only got together at my place, on her terms, when she wanted to, which was usually once a week, and usually for about 2-5 hours, sometimes a lot more. I loved to spend the time with her, more so than with anyone else.

Yes, she could make me cum 3-4 times also. She is very through.

Some of the best memories I have of us together were early on Saturday mornings, 9-10, in winter, when the sun would blaze in through the 3 windows I had. We’d get so warm, I needed to open the windows in the winter. The sun would cascade on us in bed, so warm, sexy then too, under the covers.

We only got together for sex, rarely anything else. A few times we'd meet at the local pub, share a glass of wine, or a few times, lunch.

I always provided a clean, quiet place for us, clean sheets, usually the night before, clean towels, always a clean bathroom.

Oh yes, we always showered together, always. I really understood about keeping it discreet, and she wanted to be as clean as possible to go home. Wash off any residuals, stray hairs. The shower was a place to play also. She brought her own brand of soap, loved to soap my cock, reach around me from behind, and jack me off, while fingering my ass. I loved the feeling. I'd play with her pussy and ass too, but I tried not to get soap everywhere. We did like washing each other, and the last time we were together, she wiggled her finger in my ass, with promises of more things to come that way, I had expected. That sorta surprised me, as that day was filled with a lot of sex. I had thought we were on the right track again, getting frisky, hot, erotic with each other. I used to tell her, and I'd smirk a bit doing so, that I was happy to send her home to her wife, with my cum in her belly and pussy and ass, even though she was squeaky-clean on the outside.

She had broken it off, right before the holidays, late in 2010. She wanted to regain her ‘integrity’ as she put it, by recommitting to her wife. I understand this, and can respect it. I know she was stressed at this time also. She was/is going through a big set of changes in her life, wanting more from her career, wanting to change paths, and wanting way more from her personal life, and not getting anything, except from me. I thought about that some. From what she said, I knew that I fulfilled her needs, a lot. She told me a number of times that I gave her the best orgasms of her life.

She did give me one big send-off, after she emailed me then wanting ‘one last time’ together. She came over about 10 that morning, and stayed late in the evening. We fucked and sucked for hours, showered, talked, fucked some more. She deleted her email account that night after that.

So, OK, nothing, no contact then for like 6 months.

Literally, the first of June last year, I'm out having a glass of wine, and I get a text-message from her. ‘Miss how you make me cum’ was all she said. We texted a bit that night, flirted. She said she was tired of being a ‘good girl’. She sent me a new email address. She wanted to fuck me all summer. I was curious as to why she was contacting me now. She told me at the beginning of last year, that she wanted to renew things with her wife, and she wanted to end our relationship. I couldn’t really argue with that, disappointed, yes, extremely.

I told her then that last January, I’d never find another woman like her. She looked puzzled, and it’s simply true. I’m over 60 now, and I get looked at differently. My age group wants 'soul-mates' and 'long walks on the beach'. The AM crowd doesn't looking for an older man. Perhaps that's part of the reason I would have liked to have continued longer with her, again for this past summer. I've been patient, and I know she appreciated that.

She clearly didn’t want to talk now at all, nothing, to the point of breaking things off again here. We sent some emails back and forth, where we both then stated all we (I too) wanted was to have hot sex this summer.

She told me of her plans to leave town in early fall, right after our first GTG. Her career was changing, and she was exploring options. I never did talk to her about much else, as we only got together 3 times before the end of June. We did still talk a bit about both wanting to get our needs met. I guess right now that is all she wanted, but she was troubled, it was clear to see and hear. All I wanted was a hot summer, as things would be changing for me also by fall, last fall.

I think it affected her more, when she couldn’t get what she wanted from her wife, only to find it with me. I don't think she really wrapped her head fully around that, or then, maybe she did, and couldn't handle it. She was pretty tight with her feelings and emotions, except when they all came out during sex. Then she was all over me, passionate, frisky, kinky, expressive, submissive.

She was sexually fantastic, yes.

After that first time back together with her, I had really thought then this past summer was going to be a hot one. It didn’t happen. I was very disappointed, as I had planned to really be aggressive with her, fuck her hard, all over, and leave her drained every time. I know it was gonna be the last time I’d see her, probably ever.

We got together in late June, a hot day, outside and inside. I wrote extensively about that day. Perhaps that may be another guest-post. After that day, I never heard from her again, as she deleted her email account, yet again. I sent her a tersely-worded v-mail one last time about a week later. She never replied, and I never heard anything else. I'm not even sure she did leave town.

Many times, we’d be lying together after a hot session, panting, sweating, holding each other. She said once, “Where’d you learn to fuck like that?” I just smiled, kissed her passionately, held her close, and start licking her all over, up and down again.

For two years, we had the best sex of our lives, and yes, I miss it.

Ashley Madison Chicago - The Beginning of a National Fucking Spree?

I have been getting an unusual number of hits over the last few days to my post about Chicago Guy coming from Google search for the keyword "Ashley Madison Chicago."  That seemed a bit odd to me, so I searched it myself and, lo and behold, the first link that came up in search was to the post, Kat's First Ashley Madison Encounter - Chicago Guy.

Then I noticed that there has been quite a bit of press in Chicago papers about Ashley Madison over the past few days, which makes sense, given Valentine's Day and Mistress Day and all.

It got me thinking that, in terms of traffic, PWK could do really well if I had sex posts representing the large metropolitan areas - Kat's Hot Ashley Madison Encounter with New York Guy, Kat Laps Up Newest Ashley Madison Encounter - Los Angeles Guy, and so on.  What do you think?

That means that I would need volunteers from the big cities of America. Any takers?

Ok, ok.  So maybe it's not a great idea.  There are several reasons why I may have to pass on this brainstorm of mine. First, I have a definite taste for quality over quantity, and I have to tell you, the quality of lovers has been pretty good right here in northern California.  Seriously, if you have a JJ, why look anywhere else?

Second, we are not all about building traffic here at PWK. Don't get me wrong, we do pretty well and our Prowlers are wonderful to us, but we're much more about 1) helping others who are struggling with their marriages and find themselves having affairs (or thinking about it) and 2) having a good time ourselves.

Third, if I went on a national fucking spree, Daunt would kill me.  Period.  Someone has to watch out for me since I don't do a very good job of it myself.

Back to Chicago...... All the Ashley Madison press in Chicago means that there are more visitors here from Chicago, so I want to roll out the red carpet and say, Welcome!" Enjoy your time perusing the archives.  There are many hot posts for you to enjoy. Some posts are collected for convenience in the pages that you can access through the menu bar, above, but I haven't added posts to those pages for a few months, so there are some good advice and sex posts that you'll just have to find by browsing the dated archives (See sidebar to the right).

My recommendation to go through the archives applies to everyone.  There's some fun stuff to be found there. Really fun, if you know what I mean.

I Feel Sorry for Them

I jumped on AM again for a couple of days. I was restless, wondering what I would find.  Unfortunately, for the most part, I found more of the same. I honestly feel sorry for some of these guys because, if they keep going like they are, they'll never get laid.

I know AM is a tough place for guys. Women don't answer messages, apparently.  Some will string you along forever and never meet. It's easy to get jaded, but please keep in mind that if you act like you're jaded, you have no luck at all.

Here's a sampling of some messages that I actually received in the past 48 hours:

1) "Just email me at xxx@xxx.com.  I'm sick of spending money on these stupid credits."

Ok, pal.  How about if I don't email?  Then you won't have to spend any time on me, either. Bu-bye.

2) "Look at my picture. Then message me if you're interested." (Private key attached.)  I didn't look at the picture or reply.  The next day, I received this: "Why didn't you message me?"

Because you told me not to.

3) "I'm free during the day.  Where are you in xxx-town?  Can I come over and pick you up this afternoon?"

I'm sorry. I was pretty sure I didn't write FREE HOOKER in my profile, but I'll go back and check just to be sure.

4) "Do you like to suck cock?"

As a matter of fact, yes, but I'll never be sucking yours.

5) "I don't know why I'm writing this.  You probably won't even respond."

I almost felt sorry enough for this guy to reply....almost.

6) " I like (music reference) and (sports reference), too.  We're perfect for each other!  Wanna get together?  I know a nice private place for getting intimate."

Awwwww.....you almost had me.  You read my profile.  You have a touch of humor. But you pushed the private get together a bit soon.  Wait.....my standards are getting pretty low if I find this interesting.

7) "I'm new to this website.  Would you be willing to chat for a few minutes to show me how it works?"

Very creative! Trying to tap into a woman's need to be helpful will probably work for some women. The only problem is that I don't go for stupid men.  I've got a thing for smart men (I really do).

8) "Wanna fuck?"

Uuugghhhhhh. This is classic, and discouraging. Why would any man think this line would work on any non-hooker?

In spite of all the bad lines, one gentleman (yes, only one) caught my eye. Smart, intriguing, polite, interesting. Hmmm.....I wonder if this will go anywhere.....

**********************

Related Post:

Online Pickup Lines that Don't Work on Women

DauntlessD meets Madison

Even though I left you hanging like Riff Dog, I won’t leave you hanging as long! Well, not quite as long at least. As you will recall from the DauntlessD Exposed post, I dropped a couple of hints: saucy and Madison.

I met Madison through Ashley Madison and it was one of those rare occasions when I was approached first. For those guys out there still using Ashley Madison I’m going to drop one of my secrets, one I didn’t share in my earlier post about shining up your profile. Ready? Got your pencils out? Good.

At the very bottom of my profile I ask for a very specific type of Wink, Hey I’m sure I would like to meet you, but if you want to meet me I need you to send me an ‘I can’t wait to tell you about...’ Wink.

Everyone that has used Ashley Madison for a bit of time learns quickly that the Winks are worthless, but if I received an ‘I can’t wait to tell you about...’ Wink it told me a couple of things. That the woman actually read my profile and she was interested. Yes, this is how Madison fell into my evil clutches [cue evil wicked laughter].

I’ve mentioned a couple of times my old-school upbringing, you mix that with a guy that was shy growing up, throw in a dash of getting married young and you get: Me; I can be oblivious to picking up on a gals signals.

I’ve asked Madison to share the experience of our first meeting so I can bring you, our PWK readers, a kind of he said, she said story. Um, and please, try and laugh with me and not at me ;-)

Enjoy,

DauntlessD
___________

Daunt: I had been enjoying my email and text exchanges with Madison and was looking forward to our first in-person meeting. Upon entering the restaurant I head for the bar and spot her. She was easy to pick out from the photos she had sent me. She was cute. Very cute. I found her more attractive in person than in the photos. I walk over and make my awkward introduction.

“Madison?”

She smiles and looks up, “Oh, you must be Daunt.” As I take the seat next to her she leans in and gives me a light kiss on my cheek.

Madison: I had wondered how it would be to meet Daunt for the first time. Would I be as attracted to him as I was through our correspondence? When I first saw him I thought mmmmm he is not done justice in the pictures he sent. He had an incredible smile and something of a different look... I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly what was different, but I did know I liked it. I had a million things on my mind in a jumble and found it hard to organize my thoughts. I’m not sure why, but that's when I spontaneously leaned in to give him that peck on the cheek. Afterward I was surprised to realize how comfortable I actually felt.

Daunt: I was definitely feeling attraction and was surprised how relaxed Madison seemed. When she gave me that little kiss on the cheek it sent my nervousness into overdrive.

We begin some light chit-chat and she sees me scanning the bar. “Would you like something to drink?”, she asks. She had been sipping on some red wine and I was undecided on whether I wanted wine or beer. Then she settles it for me when she holds her glass out to me, “This wine is very good would you like to try it?”

Daunt: Honestly I was a bit surprised when she offered to let me drink from her glass, maybe I shouldn’t have been; but we’d only known each other in person for a few minutes. I was enjoying the conversation, smiles and blue eyes. To her it was probably no big deal, but I found the gesture endearing.

Madison: It was becoming clear to me how nervous Daunt was. I thought offering him some wine may help him relax -- I was actually growing concerned he may not be able to relax at all. Typically I'm attracted to strong and somewhat aggressive men. I made a decision to just be myself, I thought if I do that and give him a little time he will surely settle down; if he didn't no harm, maybe we just weren't a match. Soon I found conversation getting easier and was really enjoying it. We were starting to connect and suddenly it seemed we had a million things to talk about. A man with intelligence that can carry a conversation and has manners. I thought, this can't be real, but I was finding it very attractive.

To anyone observing it would be clear we were enjoying each other’s company. Soon we were seated close, very close. Madison reaches out and begins rubbing my thigh.

Daunt: When she touched me it was like electricity flowed out of her fingertips. My heart was pounding and I felt like a little boy. My body was wanting to charge ahead, but my mind, with its ingrained hardwired “treat women right” mentality won out; don’t misinterpret Daunt, you want to be sure. So did I acknowledge or respond to her touch? Nope.

Madison: Being affectionate is second nature to me. When I reached out and touched Daunt I began to question whether he was attracted to me. There was no reaction from him. I found this confusing, I am used to men responding much differently to this type of affection. I chalked it up to nerves and again wondered if he ever relax. Suddenly I found the situation funny. I laughed without realizing it, then he was asking me why I was laughing. I didn’t want to embarrass him so I ducked the question and asked if I could get another glass of wine.

Finally after a very long time I reached out pulled her close and said, “Come here”. I leaned in for a light sweet kiss, which she accepted with a smile.

Daunt: I know I waited way too long to go for that kiss...

Madison: God, what in the world took him so long to do that? Also I worried a little because the kiss didn’t feel like I expected it to; I didn’t feel passion or desire. I was thinking, Damn, how long can the man stay nervous? I decided that if he can’t relax in the next 30 minutes, then this not going any further than tonight; just a few drinks and dinner -- or maybe just the drinks. I like guys that take charge. I understand being nervous, but I was beginning to feel it wasn’t going to change.

The night comes to a close and it’s time to go. The weather was awful with heavy wind and rain. We walk out of the restaurant hand in hand and I steal a hug and a few more light kisses. She had used the valet to park her car, Madison offered to drive me to mine.

The valet arrives and I climb into the passenger seat. Upon reaching my car I leaned in for a good night kiss. The kiss became passionate, deep. My hand slid gently behind her neck and pulled her in close.

Daunt: I loved that kiss. It lingered in my mind for a long time after. I was pretty charged up by it.

Madison: Oh... that kiss surprised me I became lost in it. I could feel his desire and it was exactly the kind of kiss I was wanting and waiting for. I struggled to keep myself in check and not lose control. I was feeling swept up and was thankful there wasn’t a bed around. I’m not easy. I don’t just hop into bed with any guy, but suddenly I was full of desire. I was shocked at the thoughts I was suddenly having. I wanted him to caress my breasts. I wondered if I had on a skirt where his hands may have explored. That kiss left me trembling, warm and breathless; and oh yes a bit moist.

At this point I had finally relaxed and didn’t want Madison to leave. But we had had no plans setup for anything but a first meeting, so gave her another quick kiss and got out of the car.

I was definitely looking forward to seeing her again.
__________

So there you have it folks DauntlessD’s first meeting with Madison. Smooth wasn’t I?

DauntlessD Exposed

I just looked back at my very first post, Nice Guys are *NOT* Attractive, and discovered it was posted back in January. It's funny thinking about that first post. It took Kat quite a bit of urging to get me write something, anything. During this span of time I avoided exposing my personal life.

This was for two reasons. First, I have an unusually strong bent in regard to privacy. Even with the anonymity of the blog I felt uncomfortable. This post is about getting past that. Second, I just didn't feel you would enjoy reading about my rather mundane life. Yes my marriage is crumbling so I have the same type of strife as Kat and many others, but outside of participating as co-author on this blog I have not been engaged in any activity that could be considered saucy or controversial; trust me, you would have yawned.

Maybe I'll learn I'm wrong, but Kat has an amazing ability I don't think I have. Even while writing about the rather ordinary struggles with her husband and life, she is able to pull out and highlight some insights and thoughts that make for a fun read. I think my writing on my real world struggles would have simply sounded like whining.

So what's up Daunt, why do you suddenly want to share now?

Here comes the exposure part. My life has suddenly gone from a sickly simmer, to an outright cantankerous boil of change. My marriage is ending and I am moving my wife to the east coast. So with that I have a hunch I'm going to have quite a lot to write about in the near future as I embrace this and face new struggles. AND I have something a bit saucy to share! (Bet you didn't see that coming did you?)

Time to bring up you to speed. I'll try and be brief.

Roughly last October I hit a strange crossroads in my life that rose up in me suddenly and compelled me to make a change. Initially I thought it was a mid-life thing. The thought of an affair at the time appealed to me so I set out to make one happen. I signed into Ashley Madison and went to work. I met a number of women, but for some odd reason something in me just didn't want to pull the trigger so to speak; PWK readers paying attention may have noticed me alluding to this in our 200th post. However, one beautiful thing did come out of this time, I met Kat; read Prowling Friendships, for a bit more insight.

After meeting Kat, something strange happened. As my friendship with her grew, that weird feeling I was having that drove me to Ashley Madison shrunk. Now in retrospect I can finally put a word to that feeling: loneliness. I had never really felt it like that before so I didn't know what it was. However my marriage was gasping and I had roughly a year prior helped my closest friend move out of state. So it makes sense. I was just... lonely.

Oh Daaaauuunnt. DauntlessD, you said you had something saucy for us where is it?

Ah, yes. Well in that phase of meeting women through Ashley Madison, there was one other than Kat that perked my interest. Madison. With this woman I felt that... chemistry... It's the feeling that comes out in Kat's naughty posts. You can almost envision a lioness patiently stalking, then with zest, power and strength the prey is brought down in the blink of an eye. That vibe that causes Kat to POUNCE. That heart pounding sexual energy that causes DauntlessD to... be insufferably nice -- for 7 whole freakin' months!

And with that intro, meet Madison.

To be continued...

(and yes, the saucy part is coming...)

Play Time on the Road with Single Guy

Traveling for work is not as glamorous as it looks.  Sure, it gives me the freedom I need to prowl, which is great, but it's also a grind.  Every now and then, though, I get one of those traveling fringe benefits that makes it all a little more palatable.  This time, his name was D.

First of all, I have to admit that I broke my own rule for D. Many of you are aware that my number one cheating rule is married men only (Read Kat's Top 10 Cheating Rules).  Why?  It's simple. A married guy has just as much at stake as I do.  A single guy doesn't have to worry about the threat of a spouse finding out and having his whole life turned upside down.

Not only is this my number one rule, but it's a non-negotiable rule. Uh.....well......sort of.  It was until I met D.

I met him on Ashley Madison and his profile said "Attached" so I assumed that meant married or at least in a committed relationship.  Long story short, he's divorced, but I met with him anyway.  I can't say why I did.  Just a feeling, maybe?

Anyway, we first met several months ago for what I thought was a great play session, and there was something special about this guy.  We had a lot in common, but that wasn't it.  It was a connection of some kind. Know what I mean? I even told Cara that this one might be the one that stops my prowling for good. It was that intense of a feeling for me.

But then I didn't hear from him and he didn't reply to my texts or emails.  Ouch. It blew me away.  Could I have been that wrong? I'm pretty intuitive, but it never occurred to me that he'd treat me like a one night stand.  None of the signals pointed to that before we had sex. To make a long story short, we reconnected, then he stopped responding. Again....again. Normally, he would have been history after the first lack of response after we met, but I simply couldn't let this one go. Still, I wasn't sure where this was going, if anywhere.

So, when he asked about getting together and I told him where I'd be traveling for work and that I'd only have one night, and that it would take him several hours to drive there, I fully expected him to decline.  But he didn't.  And when he communicated in the early evening that day and said he hadn't left yet, I fully expected that he'd call it off.  But he didn't.

He showed up somewhere between 11:00 pm. and midnight. I opened the door and smiled as I saw him standing there with a travel bag thrown over his shoulder. It had been months since I had seen him, but he was every bit as delicious - more so, actually - as the last time I saw him. He stepped in the room confidently and kissed me. Ah yes, I remembered that kiss perfectly.  I'd been imagining it for a long time, and wondering if I'd experience it again. We stepped into the room, still kissing, until we were near the bed.  He dropped his bag. I pulled off his shirt. Mmmm.....strong arms, familiar tattoos. He slipped off my robe, leaving me in the black satin baby doll nightie I had on underneath.

It was late.  I was tired, but he had my full attention. I can't remember the exact order of things right now, but there are some things from that evening I'll never forget, like the way he moaned as I was sucking his cock when I slipped one of the toys he brought into his ass and turned on the vibration ever so lightly, increasing the intensity as I went along. I love listening to that helpless moaning, almost like begging, as control is lost and pleasure takes over.  I love getting to decide if I'll give pleasure or withhold it.  Usually, I'm the one who doesn't have the power in bed, but in this situation, it's a rare turning of the tables and I relish it.

He came hard into my mouth, pushing my head down onto him.  He didn't have to, I already had his cock in my throat as he came, swallowing his cum, squeezing the head with each swallow, working the vibrator in his ass - not turning it down just yet. I wanted to hear him ask me to stop, to see how long we could keep this going. He finally moaned, "Please, stop, turn it off...." I did, but it took me a moment.  I wanted him to feel that extra little shot of intensity as a punctuation mark to the experience.  Oops....I turned it on higher first, completely by accident, of course (wink wink), then I gradually turned it down and slowly pulled it out.

I climbed up and snuggled next to him. He kissed me. We played some more. He fingered me to orgasm, took me from behind - all very nice. We talked. We laid together quietly. He rolled on top of me and fucked me missionary style so I could look at him, and I came harder than I had in a long, long time. I remember thinking as I looked at him, "What is it about this man that has me breaking my rules?"

I couldn't answer the question, but I knew I wanted more.

At about 2:00 a.m., he got up and started getting dressed.  WTF??!!!!

He insisted that he go so I could get some sleep because I had to work in the morning. He was going to make that multi-hour drive back in the middle of the night. I was stunned.  What did that mean????

This time, I decided not to analyze it. I'd had a really nice time, I was very, very tired, and I did have to work in the morning....uh, in a few hours. He gathered up his stuff, and kissed me goodbye.

"You'll hear from me, I promise," he said. I smiled and kissed him again.

"Have a safe drive," I whispered as I gave him one more kiss and ushered him out the door before locking it securely behind him.

I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

We exchanged a few texts the next day confirming that he made it home safely and that I actually did get up in time for work. Then there wasn't much communication at all for a couple of weeks. Normally, that would bother me, but I had learned that's just how D was.

Then the text I was waiting for arrived - "When are you traveling again?  Where? Can I join you?"

I guess every rule needs an exception.