- Married Men Only - Sorry, single guys, but this one is non-negotiable. The playing field is equal with married men. They have as much to lose as I do, so they are much more likely to respect my boundaries. I have bent this rule a bit to include an occasional single guy in a committed relationship, but even that makes me nervous. Yes, there is something very tempting about a young single guy who has the time to be with me whenever I have the time (working around the schedules of two married people can be a hassle), but the temptation isn't worth it. Too much can go wrong.
- My Children Come First - An activity with my children takes precedence over any liaison, and if I'm with someone and something goes wrong and one of the kids needs me, I'm out of there. I would expect the same from any man who has kids. It's ok to be a dog on the prowl, but some things matter much more than sex.
- Follow Your Gut - Sometimes it just doesn't feel right. I've learned to trust that feeling. If anything feels wrong about meeting a guy, don't do it. I've known women who ended up hurt because they thought they were just being paranoid.
- Safety First - As you may expect, this is a really big rule. Be realistic, though. If it were all about safety, I wouldn't be doing this and neither would you. The thrill and the risk are part of the fun. Still, it's important to take some basic safety precautions. Make sure you have a first and last name and do at least a little research on the person you're meeting. Meet in a public place first. Ok, if you're a regular reader you know I don't always do this, but I should. Some folks recommend that you tell someone who you'll be with and where you'll be. I also carry pepper spray (and yes, I have been trained in how to use it). And don't forget about safe sex (that means condoms).
- Put That Rope Away - Nobody ties me up unless and until I know him very, very well. This is a common sense safety issue. Don't get me wrong. I love a little bondage play, but trust is critical for it to be any fun, and you just can't have that level of trust with someone the first time you meet them. If you want to take that risk, please be aware that you are taking a very serious, potentially life threatening, risk.
- Avoid the Players - I'm just not into the men out there who are screwing around with a whole bunch of women at the same time. I guess I'm just a two man gal (my husband +1) and I want the same in return.
- Don't Be a Player - It's very tempting at times to play around with multiple men. There all so special! But it's just not nice and how can you really enjoy one if you're thinking about the others? I prefer to focus. Of course, my goal is to find a long term affair. You may have different goals.
- Be Kind and Respectful - No matter how it goes, I try to remember that the guy I'm with is a human being. He's someone's husband, someone's dad. Often, these guys have issues that they need and want to talk about. If I want to be treated kindly, I need to be kind. If I want to be treated with respect, I need to treat him with respect.
- Don't Lose Your Head - It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all, but you have to check your priorities regularly. Family and work are high priorities. Don't let them suffer because you're having a little fun.
- Communicate - If something hurts, stop and communicate (unless, of course, that was the plan and you agreed on it already). If you're uncomfortable, talk about it. If you feel that either of you is getting too dependent on the other or on your affair, discuss it.
Remember, the goal is to have fun, but be safe.
So, fellow Prowlers, do you have any other rules that you follow? Which of the rules are the most important? Please share with us in the comments.
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