I was at an event with my son on Monday night, the kind of event where there are typically lots of fathers there with their sons. I wasn't running the meeting so I had the opportunity to just observe. I haven't had passionate sex in months so I felt like a kid in a candy store, salivating as I looked at all the variety.
Most of the dads were grouped together, but several were not. These few were standing or sitting alone throughout the room or sitting with their sons. One of them was a very hot, new-to-the-group fireman dad.
The mom next to me noticed me watching him and said, "Kat, I don't think he needs your help."
I smiled and replied, "Oh, but I'm sure he does," and I walked over to the other side of the room where he was sitting alone at a table with his young son.
Nothing happened, of course, except that we got to know each other better and we exchanged phone numbers so we can communicate about activities for the boys. The point of the story is that he may or may not have been the best looking guy in the room, but if he had been sitting with a pack I would have avoided him (unless I was in a really playful mood, but that's another story). He was more attractive and attainable because he was separated from the herd.
I wonder sometimes if married men are aware that they are being observed and targeted for possible consumption by horny women? I know it happens more than they know.
Here's how it will go with fireman dad. Next week I'll bring a small, inexpensive gift for his son, related to the group to which we belong, and I'll say I heard him mention he needed or wanted whatever it is. It could be a hat, neckerchief, patch, handbook, whatever. I'll also strike up a brief conversation with dad, but I'll be sure that *I* walk away from the conversation first.
If he doesn't bring wife with him to the next meeting, I'm good. If he does, I'll back off.
If it's a go, I'll sit next to him at the next meeting with my son sitting next to his. Yes, I may have to bribe him, but it's only right to help the new kid feel welcome, isn't it?
Then, I'll back off until there's an outing. I'll suggest that we car pool. By then it will be clear if there's any chemistry or not. If not, I've made a friend and all is well. This is where things usually stop with men in my real life. It's too dangerous to go further so there has to be some serious chemistry to even think about that.
If there is some chemistry, it's time to suggest a meeting for coffee. At that meeting, if it feels right, I'll suggest something even more private, if he doesn't do it first.
Why take so long? Because I met him in a completely non-sexual context. It usually takes longer than meeting someone on AM or in a bar. Obviously.
He separated himself from the herd to some degree at that first meeting, but I have to completely separate him from that herd to know if he's a prowler or if he wants to be.
So, Prowlers, what tips do you have for separating other prowlers from the herd so you can move in for the kill? Gee, that sounds so violent. It's time to ditch the herd metaphor, I think.
How do you go from meeting someone in a coffee shop or the grocery store (or wherever) to making them a playmate?