That's all simple and straightforward, right? We had a little discussion about what we read and then TommyKat, age 10, started asking questions. He kept asking questions for a very long time. Because I'm a believer that if a child is old enough to ask a question, he's old enough for an honest answer, I answered each question as directly and honestly as possible.
Here's just a sample of the questions TommyKat fired at me over the next couple of hours (in no particular order):
- What does "consummate the marriage" mean?
- If Mary got pregnant without having sex, was that like artificial insemination?
- Is it a normal thing for the Holy Spirit to make women pregnant?
- What's an erection?
- What's masturbation?
- How does masturbation work?
- Why to people masturbate?
- How do women masturbate?
- What does it mean when a girl gets her period?
- Why can't men get pregnant?
- What is the cause of "morning wood?"
- How does a condom keep a woman from getting pregnant?
- Do women get pregnant every time they have sex without a condom?
- Is masturbation a sin?
- What does the Bible say about masturbation?
- Why are some kids called "unwanted children?"
- When a guy goes to donate sperm, how do they get it out of him?
- What makes a man "aroused?"
- Do men and women like sex the same amount?
- What's an orgasm?
- Do women get orgasms, too?
- How is a woman's orgasm different than a man's?
- So women can have sex without having an orgasm? Why?
- How does a condom work? Can I see one?
- When is a woman too old to have any more babies?
- Are you too old to have more babies?
- If a woman gets too old to have kids, does she stop having sex?
- Do you and Dad still have sex even though you guys are really, really old?
- How do lesbian women get pregnant?
- Is it true that there are tampon machines in women's restrooms?
Oh. my. gosh. All I wanted was a quick little Bible reading and discussion at the start of our day, just like we've had on many other days, and instead I was quizzed about sex for over two hours by a prepubescent boy. And I still hadn't had my coffee yet.
Where was Hubby during all of this? He wasn't home, of course. He was safe at the office, far away from ground zero. I did leave a few questions for him ("I think you and your dad should talk about that."), mostly questions about wet dreams, if a guy can control when he gets an erection, and how you put on a condom.
Because Hubby was planning on making a stop at the grocery store to buy milk on the way home, I sent him a text. "Please pick up some condoms at the store. TommyKat wants you to show him how they work."
This was his reply:
This morning, I heard the two of them chatting in the living room. Hubby was answering questions and then I could tell there was a condom demonstration going on. I made sure to keep myself busy in another room until they were finished.
When I was sure it was safe, I wandered into the living room in time to kiss Hubby goodbye as he headed out for the day. I leaned forward and grabbed the banana that was on the coffee table and asked, "Is this your banana?"
TommyKat answered, "No, but that's the one Dad was using to show me how to put on a condom."
"Oh," I said casually as I peeled it. "That's nice."
"Are you going to eat that?!" he exclaimed.
"Yes, that was my plan," I answered.
"But we were pretending it was a penis, and a condom was on it, and you're going to put it in your mouth?!? Ewwww!"
I just smiled and took a bite.