Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Fuck Buddy Discovery

I took my son to an activity last night and when I got there I realized that I had left my cell phone at home. I couldn't go home to get it because I was leading the activity and 10 other boys were showing up, so I was stuck.

For the next hour and a half, I didn't think anything of it.  When I got home, there was my phone, right where I'd left it, plugged into the charger.  Great, right?

Not so fast.

Hubby wasn't speaking to me...at all. When he finally did speak to me as we were going to bed, it was to kick off the inquisition - Why hadn't I wanted sex for the last 48 hours?  Had I been getting it somewhere else? Was I no longer attracted to him because he was old?

The tone of his questions became angrier and angrier, until he finally screamed, "So, do you want to have sex now?!"

Normally, I would refuse under these circumstances because that's not exactly a romantic proposal, but he had me a bit annoyed so decided to call his bluff. I pulled off my nightie and said "Sure, sounds great!"

He hemmed and hawed, but what man wouldn't take advantage of that situation?

The sex was better than average, more passionate. When it was over, he rolled over and went to sleep.

I took advantage of the opportunity to check my phone and see what he might have seen.  I started with my text messages. I scrolled through several that were just friendly texts.  No problem.

Then I saw the one from Single Guy. Ugh. That little exchange didn't seem as dirty at the time we had it as it did now. And then there was the string of texts talking about arranging to meet. Sigh. This was bad.

I continued my search through the phone and that was all that was there that was incriminating.  I usually deleted things like I should.  I have no excuse for why I didn't do so with Single Guy's texts. I deleted them right then. I know that's kind of like closing the barn door after the cows have all escaped, but what else could I do?

In the morning, he was still crabby and not speaking to me. The only way through it was to take it on directly, so I asked, "Is there a reason why you decided to go through my phone last night?" I decided to dispense with the whole, "Why are you so upset, Dear?" routine. We both knew why.

He was shocked. After a moment of silence, he replied, "How do you know I did that?"

"Your behavior," I responded.

Then he started telling me what he saw, and he asked more questions.  Who is this guy?  Was I really going to see him? And have been seeing JJ lately?  How many "Fuck Friends" did I have? And on and on and on.

I wanted to correct him and say, "The correct term is "Fuck Buddy," but I thought it might be the wrong time. Timing is everything, ya know.

I tried to answer his questions as directly and honestly as I could. It progressed into a long discussion, a progression of the one we had almost two years ago.  I didn't use the words "Open Marriage" this time, but I told him it would be ok with me if he wanted play with another woman, and it would be great if we could just tell each other about it and be honest.

He's skeptical, although he did say he'd be ok with me inviting another woman in for a threesome.  That's progress, right?

We talked a lot more and things are going to be ok. However, I'm pretty sure I'll be on lock down for a while....again. He'll monitor my comings and goings and he'll eye me suspiciously whenever I text anyone. And if we go more than two days without having sex, he'll accuse me of getting it elsewhere.

Things will eventually settle down because, in spite of all the distractions, he knows I love him and I don't want to spend my life with anyone else.

8 comments:

Ryan Beaumont said...

OK Kat so slip me your cell number and I'll text you a bunch of stuff like:

"Let not mercy and a truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart"

That should make him feel good next time he reads your old texts.

Tom said...

Ugh... that sucks. We all fall into complacency and forget to delete things, and then... boom.

JFBreak said...

I'm guessing I'm the odd man out. If I found texts like this on my wife's phone (and I have in the past), I'd be totally turned on. Hell yea I'd want sex - and details!

All About Love And Sex said...

Usually it is the woman who likes to check on her husband's cell phone to see if he cheats on her. Not like your case. Men are seldom that nosy!

Darius said...

i do find it interesting that there is a level of honesty between you and him and you chose to be honest and he is ok about it. and despite everything, u love him and i do believe he loves u too.

Lola said...

Send him a link to our blog and see how he reacts, what the conversation is, and make sure he knows that this arrangement can work out well.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kat..I am feeling terrible that you two went through all of that. I hope something positive comes of it for you. I will respect your wishes..and leave you alone. I will remember our time together. Take care ok?

Single guy..

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