Friday, March 8, 2013

No More DauntlessD

You may have noticed that Dauntless D, my blog partner and close friend, is no longer listed as an admin for PWK, and you certainly cannot have missed the fact that he hasn't written in many, many months. You won't see him here anymore.  He has decided to move on.

More specifically, he has a new girlfriend and he has rekindled his faith and both of those have required that he let go of PWK.....and anyone associated with it.  Yes, that includes me, too. We were best friends for a couple of years, but now he won't have any contact of any kind with me because the girlfriend doesn't want him to and because, according to another friend of his, I am "depraved."

I didn't hear that from him, of course, because he couldn't even speak to me to tell me that I wasn't good enough for his new lifestyle. We've been through a lot together, but he couldn't even say goodbye or give me a chance to have some closure.

What would I say?

Well, some of what I would say is about relative morality, but I'll share that in another post because it deserves it's own space. I would also remind him that he said this would never happen. I'd remind him how he asked me to stop him if he ever gave up too much of himself and his own life to a woman, particularly so soon after his separation from his wife.

I'd tell him that judging me when he's engaged in sex outside of marriage with his girlfriend is pure hypocrisy and it should bother him that no one else is saying that to him and he's shutting out the only person who ever would give him the straight up truth.

I'd tell him that I thought he was better than this and that I certainly deserve better. I'd tell him that refusing to communicate with me even to tell me about his decision is a coward's way out.

I'd remind him of the string of people in his life he's walked away from and I'd ask him how he expects this to turn out any differently.

I'd remind him that real friends are hard to find and that to throw that aside for a piece of pussy who isn't who she is representing herself to be is foolish and shortsighted.

But I'd also wish him well. I'd thank him for all the times he was there for me when I really needed him. I'd thank him for the laughs and lunches and books we shared. I'd thank him for making room in his life for me, even though he ultimately chose to walk away.

I'd tell him that I will always be here for him and, yes, I'll be here when her real colors shine through and she leaves.

I'd tell him that I miss him.

I'd tell him that I hope his life turns out exactly as he wants it to.

I'd tell him I love him.


sin said...

That's sad and I'm sorry.


Kat said...

Thanks, sin. I agree. It is sad.

Anonymous said...

I still love you Kat.

Kat said...

Awww, Bob. You're so sweet. Thank you!

Jack Bader said...

I never quite understand why people have to give so much of themselves to love someone else.

Shouldn't the person you are with love you for who you are and not what you will become when you are with them.

Anonymous said...

I cried real tears when I read this. Someone once told me that in this world there are givers and there are takers. I think that for a while, some relationships can stay on even ground, but eventually, one person ends up being the giver and one the taker. You, Kat, are a giver. Don't let the takers of this world pull you down. I'm sorry that Daunt turned out to be a taker when it comes to your relationship with him. Clearly his new girl was threatened by his relationship with another woman; especially one as lovely and giving as you. I'm sorry for your loss. -GF

Ryan Beaumont said...

Ah screw him! :) (I didn't mean that)...

This is like when Diane left Cheers and everyone thought the show would tank until Kirstie Alley came on board and it was even better!

Best of luck DD!

Let me know when you need to add a Barney Fife to your blog crew - I'm there! :)

Max said...

Very sad when someone you care about and share a connection with chooses to leave your life. It sounds like you're letting him go with love in your heart - which is the best you can do.

Cara Janes said...

I have a strong feeling he'll be back. When he needs you. Because that's what you do, Kat; you give. You have always been there for your friends and he's going to need you when his dirty whore (and I don't mean that in a good way...) gets bored with him.

Kat said...

Thanks for your kindness, Everybody. I know it's all going to work out as it should.

Marcus said...

I'm sorry to hear about this Kat. I agree with everything you said here and especially think highly that you are willing to be there for him again.
People have different reasons for how they act and we shouldn't be too hard on each other, I don't think you were being too hard at all.

~McK said...

Aw Kat, just saw this post and I'm very sorry. I have not told anyone of this life I've been living for the last year. Because I know my closest friends would judge and walk away and of course the discretion required. I was always envious that you and dauntless found one another because of the friendship and the ability to share everything, the good, the sad, the bad and the very good. I hope that he realizes the depth of your friendship & comes to his senses.

Naughty Kitty said...

Hi kat, its been a long time and I am completely out pof the loop. I'm sorry for your sadness and as you and the others have said, he'll be back when she shows her true colors. You cant get a taste of this life (blogging /prowling) then just walk away. It is a part of us and those of us who embrace it have been set free. Freedom is good.