As you can imagine, I get lots of email. Most of it is very nice and some is very naughty. Some of it is hate mail. Apparently, there are people out there who have the time to write to obscure sex bloggers to tell them they are going to hell, to threaten them with exposure or violence, or to tell them how pathetic and immoral they are.
I read everything and I do my best, although not always successfully, to respond to every nice and naughty message. I usually ignore the hateful and threatening ones. Sometimes I reply and thank them for sharing their thoughts, but I usually only do that when I'm in a bitchy mood and I want to piss them off. Nothing angers the hateful folks like kindness.
Most of the Kat haters, as I like to call them, seem to be mostly upset because of how immoral I am, in their opinion. I'm not even going to try to make a case for the morality of infidelity. I never have. I'm not trying to convince anyone else to cheat on their spouse. I've never done that either.
Who am I? I'm just a middle-aged woman who loves sex, has had lots of it, likes to write, writes about sex pretty well, and knows enough about cheating to share some tips with others who don't want to get caught. I love my family, I work hard, and when I get a chance, I play hard, too. Big deal. Generally speaking, I'm a nice, fairly boring, church-going wife and mother. By far, the worst sin I've committed, for those who want to call it that, is adultery. I haven't killed anyone, I don't beat or neglect my children, and I am always kind to animals.
I often wonder if the folks so outraged by my immorality write hate mail to murderers, arsonists, thieves, child abusers, rapists, liars, themselves - other people who have committed immoral acts. Probably not. Then why am I so special?
I'm pretty sure it's because they see themselves or their spouse in me. Either they've cheated before, they are cheating now, or they want to. Usually if you're pointing your finger at someone, there are three other fingers pointing right back at yourself. Maybe cursing at me helps them reinforce their own resolve.
Or maybe they are so hurt by the infidelity of their spouse that they lash out at me because I'm safe. I won't leave them or try to get custody of the kids or take the house.
The thing that bothers me about the version of morality espoused by the Kat haters is that they have assigned a "sin value" to infidelity/adultery and determined that it is worse than anything they have ever done or would do. That's simply not my perspective. If we want to get religious about it, the Bible clearly says that all sin is equally bad, except for that one deadly sin - which is not adultery, by the way. If you're screaming about infidelity as if it's worse than the cheating you just did on your taxes or the slap you gave your son last night or the lie you told to your wife because you wanted to spend a few more minutes at the bar, you have no Biblical basis for that. You have simply made it up and created your own morality hierarchy. That's up to you, of course, but don't pretend your view is aligned with some "higher authority." It's not.
From a humanistic point of view, murder, rape, assault, and any crime against a child would be considered worse than infidelity. Hurting someone else in anyway is always bad, and yes, that includes hurting a spouse. Like I said, I can't defend the morality of infidelity, but faux-piety makes me ill. It really does.
Here's the bottom line - Whether or not I am moral or immoral, or if infidelity is worse that the sins you have committed or not, if I or PWK offends you, don't read it.
You can choose not to expose yourself to the immoral descriptions of incredibly satisfying sex that you are probably not having.