Make Your Life Spectacular

I know you've heard or seen a million comments or tributes to Robin Williams lately, and you probably don't need any more, but this one is very brief - only one minute long - and it is perfect.  It says what needs to be said.

I have some things I want to share with you about depression and suicide and living, but not today, not yet. For now, I want Mr. Williams' own words to speak.



Friends, this is truly what I want for you. Make your life spectacular.

I write here a lot about making your life what you want it to be, living for the moment (Carpe Diem), and living purposefully rather than by default. They are great ideals, but very hard to implement. We usually don't make a serious effort to try until something jogs us out of our daily routine and addiction to all of the distractions that actually keep us asleep and unable to truly live.

The bottom line, though, is that it's a choice. I have friends who desperately need some change in their lives, but they won't make it because they think they can't. They are wrong.  They can, but they choose not to for a wide variety of reasons, some of them good and some of them bullshit. Mostly, it's about fear of one kind or another.

It's hard to make your life spectacular if you won't let go of the fear and jump anyway.

This is not about depression at all, or any of the things that may or may not have led to Mr. Williams' death.  It's about life.  It's about the same 1,440 minutes that we all have in each day and how you choose to spend them. It's about choosing your life one minute at a time.

It's about choosing to make your life spectacular.

DauntlessD, Where is he now?

Daunt here.  I know I haven't written as much as Kat, nor have I shared as much about myself; but from this point going forward I plan to.  I have no real goal in mind for this post, I'm just writing; and I seem to being lead just to introduce myself.  So, who is DauntlessD aka Dauntless Dreamer?  That's a good question, it's one I'm trying to figure out myself.  What I can tell you is a rough synopsis of how I got to where I am now.

Honestly it feels a little strange looking back on my life at age 43.  As I reflect, I now have the wisdom to see many of the patterns that caused me to choose the paths I did in life's crossroads.  One of these patterns is to do what I feel is the right thing for others even if it is to my own detriment.  Yes, it sounds selfless.  Yes, it feels honorable.  But it's a personality trait that has often hurt me.

I was married at 20 and shortly after had two children.  Needless to say life is pretty hard when you have two children early in your 20s.  By my mid-20s I realized I had no idea what I wanted in life.  This shortly after turned into a divorce.

Now remember that propensity I mentioned to always do the right thing for others?  Well this made the guilt and shame I felt for the divorce, and hurting my children, crushing.  So what did I do?  I bounced right into another relationship with a co-dependent emotionally unstable woman and married her.  The guilt and shame I felt from my divorce caused me to shutout my family and stay with my second wife for way, way too long.  Why? Because I thought I was doing the right thing for her, and I didn't want to feel that guilt and shame that I felt before.

I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but within the past couple of months I've had a strange realization.  I had finally forgiven myself for divorcing my first wife and hurting my children.  I think it happened within the past two years and it wasn't until I was living alone that I was thinking clearly enough to see it.  It has had an amazing affect on my outlook.  I don't have those awful feelings in regard to my second wife -- honestly I feel cleansed.

Today, looking forward, I feel like I'm getting a second chance at life. A second chance to live. I'm excited by the opportunities.  Also I know and understand myself better than I ever have before; I'm more confident in me and who I am.  Then at the same time it's daunting, almost overwhelming.  How on earth does a 43 year old man restart?  What am I going to do with this second chance?

Well PWK fans, it looks like you have a front row seat.