Thursday, February 21, 2013

Of Pussy and Post

From the day I added the word pussy to my phone's dictionary, I have regretted it.

It's not that I have any problem with the word pussy.  I love it.  I use it often.  I'm particularly fond of my pussy and I do my best to treat her right.

The problem is that my phone now regularly auto-corrects the word "post" to show up as the word "pussy."

Here's an example:

Client: Hey Kat, did you see that post on the ABC website about the new bidding opportunity?
Kat: Yes! I saw that pussy and I think we should definitely go for it!
Client: Uh, I think you were auto-corrected.
Kat: OMG.  Please just delete that.  I'm calling you now to talk about the bid.

Or how about this one:

Kat: I posted the instructions for completing the forms to the wiki, but I can't find them now.  I can't believe I can't find my own pussy.
Client: Hahahahahaha.
Kat:  Just shoot me now.

But there's more:

Client:  I saw your FB post about the ABC project. You left out the juicy stuff. Why did you edit it?
Kat: Well, I always try to clean up my pussy before sharing. It goes over better that way.
Client: I'm sure it does! LOL
Kat:  You KNOW that was auto-correct, right?  I meant "...clean up my POST."
Client: Sure, sure.....

And one last one:

Employee: When will you have your blog post done?  I want to schedule mine for the next day.
Kat: I'm almost finished. I can get my pussy scheduled in about 10 minutes.  I should be done massaging it by then.
Employee: Uh...TMI? LOL.

Have I mentioned that I hate auto-correct?


11 comments:

Advizor54 said...

I have the same regret with several words.
Cunt/Can't
shop/shit
pussy/post

My phone really sucks.

Max said...

Hilarious! Thank you for a much-needed laugh.

Lovely pussy...er, post. (damned autocorrect. ;-))

Kat said...

Advizor..Yes!!! I have the cunt/can't issue, too. It drives me nuts.

Max, thank you, kind sir, for both teh compliments (of pussy *and* post). :-)

Krazy said...

I have similar issues. You know you can delete the auto correct words by clicking on the x when it suggests pussy? But then, you can't use pussy again, LOL.

All About Love And Sex said...

That was real funny and of course quite embarrassing to you. Did you manage to resolve this issue?

You have a great weekend.

Lola said...

Too funny! At least you can laugh about it.

Ryan Beaumont said...

So do you ever have a problem with sexting out:

"Oh baby please rub my wet purse"

~McK said...

LOL been there *sigh*

Adelie W said...

Too funny! This made me literally LOL!
I once got a text from my very proper mother, whose phone was second hand from my 20something nephew, asking me if I wanted dick suck (dim sum!) from the Chinese restaurant.

Marcus said...

Not cleaning up your pussy between sharing might be kind of fun, depends on what they are into !!

Funny. I love DYAC

Anonymous said...

If you hate it, on the Iphone, you can easily turn of auto-correct .....