Yes, that's exactly how I'm feeling today. Like a virgin.
No, I'm not referring to Madonna's song from the 1980's, although I do direct young women to that video as an example of what over-accessorizing and too much eye make-up look like.
I'm feeling like a virgin because I am about to do something I have never done.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Kat! What could that possibly be? Haven't you done everything?"
Well, close. I've done a lot, but not this.
Tomorrow I'm meeting SNS Guy for the first time. We'll be spending some time together.
We'll be spending three days together. Three days.
I've never spent 3 consecutive days with someone I've recently met before. I've spent a few hours lots of times. I spent 24 hours with JJ once, but that was after we had known each other for quite a while. One full day is the longest I've ever spent with a lover.
Three days is big. It's really hard to hide anything for three days. He'll see what I look like without makeup. He'll hear me snoring (I've been told it's a cute little snore, but it's snoring, nonetheless). He'll see how I am when I'm tired (definitely not as cute as my snoring). He'll see (and maybe join) my bathing routine. He'll learn how dependent I really am on coffee. He'll see other things that I dare not mention here.
Is nothing sacred?!?
So, why are we doing this? There are two reasons, actually. First, he lives across the country and it doesn't make sense to make that long trip for just a few hours. Second, a few hours won't be enough. A day won't be enough. Two days won't be enough. Since it will likely be months before I get to see him again, I want to get as much of him as I can. You know what I mean by "get," don't you? Taste. Enjoy. Devour. Consume. Molest. Tease. Possess. Use. Please. Worship. Adore.
I know that at the end of day 3 it will feel like 3 days was not enough, but I plan to suck as much out of those three days as possible. Did I say "suck"? ;-)
Here's the other thing that touches me. This extraordinary man is taking 3 days out of his life to come and see me. He's expending a substantial amount of money and time to spend time with me.
It's not just about the sex. Trust me, this man could get all the sex he wants locally. It's not about lust. It's about desire. And it's mutual.
So, yeah, I'm nervous. At some point over this 3 day period, he will see the real me, not just what I dress up to present to the world, but the part that is completely and naturally who I am. Will he like that woman? I've shared more with him already than I've shared with any other man, but this last part you can only know and experience in person. I feel exposed and vulnerable and I don't know how it will turn out.
Much like a virgin.