The Care and Feeding of a Mistress

Most men would say that they know how to keep their mistress happy.  The only thing your mistress needs to be happy is regular access to your hot body and the amazing sex you generously bestow upon her. Right?

Well, maybe not so much. If you're talking about a short term (I define short term as two  months or less) fuck buddy relationship, that might be enough to keep her happy for awhile. I would think you would also need to spring for some hotel rooms and a nice meal every now and then, but maybe not.

If you want a long term relationship with your mistress, though, it's going to take more to keep her happy.  Women need some attention and any relationship needs a little bit of nurturing if it's going to last more than a couple of hours.

I've put together a few things that you may want to consider if you want to keep your mistress (married or not) in your bed rather than someone else's.

1. Be generous with genuine compliments. If she looks nice, tell her so.  If you enjoy her company, tell her so.  If she sucks your cock better than anyone you ever known, tell her that, too. Men tend to forget about his simple courtesy after they have known a woman for a while.  They assume that "she already knows I think that." Maybe she does, but she also needs and wants to hear it. If your mistress is married, she probably feels unappreciated at home and if she doesn't feel genuinely appreciated with you, she won't stay long. And let me be clear, I'm not talking about making things up.  Focus on what you like about her, and tell her.

2. Be generous in bed. It's easy to be generous in bed when you're trying to impress her, but what about several months into the relationship?  Do you fall back into a routine that makes sex more about you than about her?  Ok, I know that, from your perspective, it is all about you, but you know what I mean. Mix it up, keep it new and fresh. Remember, if she's married, she has boring sex at home.  Why would she risk her marriage for boring, unfulfilling sex with you?

3. Be generous with your communication. Let's say that you are planning to meet for some naughty fun next week.  Unless you and she have agreed to a radio silence policy, she should hear from you a few times between now and then using whatever communication channels you have agreed on. It doesn't have to be much, but let her know that you are thinking about her and care about her. If you don't communicate at all between meetings (except to set up the time, date, and location of the next meeting) she will eventually decide that you're not interested in her at all. Maybe you're not, but be prepared to lose her if you won't communicate.  I've cancelled more than one meet-up because of a lack of communication in-between meetings. I didn't make a big deal about it.  I didn't whine about communication ("Why didn't you call me or text me?"). I just became unavailable. Get it?

4. Be generous with simple gifts. This is a difficult area.  If she is married, it's unlikely that she can keep any of the standard gift items you might think of, like cards or flowers or jewelry.  And I wouldn't advocate spending much on her anyway.  Think about simple gifts, things that she can keep.  For example, I've got a thing about cute post-it notes. I could receive a little pad of cute post-it notes and keep them, without anyone thinking anything of it. Be creative. If she likes to read, books are a good idea. Remember, the gift itself is not the point.  The point is that you thought about her and went out of your way a bit to make her smile. The odds are good that her hubby is not thinking of her very much in those sweet little ways, so you will keep her attention if you do.

Let me share a little story with you. It's about a holiday and how it went down with me.  I won't tell you what holiday it was, but it was a traditional gift giving holiday. Unfortunately, I didn't get a gift from my husband. I didn't get a gift from my lover, either.  Ouch.  Not only that, but I got to listen to him talk about what a wonderful gift he got for his wife.  Don't get me wrong.  I was very pleased that he did something really nice for his wife.  She deserved that. And it wasn't about a gift at all. It was about being forgotten and taken for granted. Heck, lots women who have been married for a long time are forgotten by their husbands on "special" days. To be honest, I expected my husband to let the day go by without any recognition. But unlike most women, I got to experience the feeling of being forgotten by two men.

It sounds silly and petty, doesn't it?  I know it does, but what matters is how it feels. How much do you think I felt like going out of my way for either of those men? Exactly.

If you want her to keep you happy, you have to keep her happy.  It's a simple formula. If you make her feel wanted, she'll make you feel good. If you neglect her, she'll go away. It doesn't get much simpler than that.