What's up with that?
It should be very simple to understand. If you want sex (especially within the next few hours), be nice to me. If you treat me like crap, don't expect me to be excited about having sex with you.
That also goes for heavy conversations that may be uncomfortable. If you start a heavy conversation that may lead to disagreement and tension, you'd be an idiot to do that within an hour of bedtime (or whenever the time is that you expect sex).
I have a few friends who typically have sex with their spouses in the morning. Now I can totally understand why they do that. There is very little time for him to say or do something stupid or start an argument.
The night before last, Hubby wanted to have a heart to heart conversation about something (it was actually about JJ.....) and we both said some things we shouldn't have said. When we turned out the light, we were both upset.
Then, within about 5 minutes, even though the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, he started scooching over to my side of the bed and sliding his hand up my inner thigh.
My first thought: You have got to be fucking kidding me!!!! Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has a better chance of having sex with me right now than you do!
My second thought: I know this is your way of trying to make up, but it's not working. The feel of your hand on me right now is making me physically sick.
What came out of my mouth: Hubby, you know that when you say things to me like you just said, I don't feel like making love (Said very, very slowly with that annoying female I'm-saying-this-slowly-so-you'll-know-I'm-pissed tone).
Hubby (in an attempt to smooth things over just enough - but no more - to have sex): I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You know I love you (kissing my neck now, finger sliding inside me).
Kat (taking Hubby's hand and moving it back to his side of the bed): I love you, too, but I don't want to have sex with you now.
That alarmed him because he knows I always want to have sex. Now I had his attention. So we had the be-nice-to-me-if-you-want-sex conversation...again. I don't know how many times we've had that same conversation over the last 25 years, but it feels like at least a few hundred.
His tone became nicer. He apologized for the not-so-nice things he said earlier. I did, too.
We turned the light off again. He didn't even attempt to scooch over my way, so I slid under the blankets, found him and gave him a world class blow job.
Why? Because appropriate behavior must be rewarded as soon as possible! I want him to associate being nice to me in bed and apologizing for being a jerk with a pleasurable experience.
Hubby (after I swallowed a nice load of his cum): I thought you didn't want sex tonight?
Kat: I don't. Goodnight.
There's nothing wrong with leaving him a little confused, is there? ;-)