Yes, that's exactly how I'm feeling today. Like a virgin.
No, I'm not referring to Madonna's song from the 1980's, although I do direct young women to that video as an example of what over-accessorizing and too much eye make-up look like.
I'm feeling like a virgin because I am about to do something I have never done.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Kat! What could that possibly be? Haven't you done everything?"
Well, close. I've done a lot, but not this.
Tomorrow I'm meeting SNS Guy for the first time. We'll be spending some time together.
We'll be spending three days together. Three days.
I've never spent 3 consecutive days with someone I've recently met before. I've spent a few hours lots of times. I spent 24 hours with JJ once, but that was after we had known each other for quite a while. One full day is the longest I've ever spent with a lover.
Three days is big. It's really hard to hide anything for three days. He'll see what I look like without makeup. He'll hear me snoring (I've been told it's a cute little snore, but it's snoring, nonetheless). He'll see how I am when I'm tired (definitely not as cute as my snoring). He'll see (and maybe join) my bathing routine. He'll learn how dependent I really am on coffee. He'll see other things that I dare not mention here.
Is nothing sacred?!?
So, why are we doing this? There are two reasons, actually. First, he lives across the country and it doesn't make sense to make that long trip for just a few hours. Second, a few hours won't be enough. A day won't be enough. Two days won't be enough. Since it will likely be months before I get to see him again, I want to get as much of him as I can. You know what I mean by "get," don't you? Taste. Enjoy. Devour. Consume. Molest. Tease. Possess. Use. Please. Worship. Adore.
Love.
I know that at the end of day 3 it will feel like 3 days was not enough, but I plan to suck as much out of those three days as possible. Did I say "suck"? ;-)
Here's the other thing that touches me. This extraordinary man is taking 3 days out of his life to come and see me. He's expending a substantial amount of money and time to spend time with me.
Wow.
It's not just about the sex. Trust me, this man could get all the sex he wants locally. It's not about lust. It's about desire. And it's mutual.
So, yeah, I'm nervous. At some point over this 3 day period, he will see the real me, not just what I dress up to present to the world, but the part that is completely and naturally who I am. Will he like that woman? I've shared more with him already than I've shared with any other man, but this last part you can only know and experience in person. I feel exposed and vulnerable and I don't know how it will turn out.
Much like a virgin.
Showing posts with label lust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lust. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Lust and Desire
A good friend of mine sent me an email this morning about the difference between lust and desire. I loved it, so I asked him if I could share it with you, and he agreed. Enjoy.
*******
Do you know the difference between lust and desire?
I do.
Lust is simple, the pleasure of the flesh. Lust is the aerobics instructor who was so incredibly flexible but you can't, for the life of you, remember her name. Lust is the waitress in some nameless restaurant in whatever city it was who flirted with you, called your bluff (well, called my bluff) and left me feeling like Lady Macbeth: needing a shower and knowing that all the water in the world wouldn't make me feel clean again. Lust makes you do stupid things, things you know you will regret but seem so right at the time, because you really don't care about the outcome.
Desire is where you go to sleep thinking about a person and wake up with absolutely no break in the train of thought. Desire is where you get up at 6am on a Saturday because you can't sleep, start to make the coffee and realize that your hands are trembling and damp. Desire is where the thought of that person makes you sweat because suddenly you're harder than Chinese algebra. Desire will make you hesitant because you don't want to fuck things up. If necessity is the mother of invention, desire is the father of necessity.
I've been successful with women because usually I know what to say, when to say it, how to say it and say it with confidence. I like to think I'm not too hard on the eyes. I'm smart, sophisticated, cultured, successful and know what wine to order with fish, the maitre 'd at Incanto and how to play the guitar licks from "The Wall." Is it so difficult to think I could be desired, in turn? Of course not - but with lust, you don't care, with desire, you do.
*******
Your thoughts, Prowlers?
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Dreaming of You
I'm laying in bed in the middle of the day, eyes closed, thinking of you. As I remember your smile, your eyes, and your presence, I relax. I imagine reaching out to you and touching your shoulders, leaning closer to you - close enough to breathe your scent in deeply. I relax even more, imagining your arms slipping around me.
I help you take off your shirt. You pull off my blouse and unhook my bra quickly. My nipples harden instantly when they touch your chest. I try not to let my gasp become audible, but it's no use. You smile and kiss me.
I breathe you in- inhaling as you exhale, exhaling as you inhale. Needing you. Wanting you.
I feel your hand sliding between my legs, and I slide my hand between my legs as I lay on my bed. I imagine that moment when you first touch my clit and I touch myself, releasing the spark of electricity that had been building up. I gasp into your mouth, and you begin to circle my clit with your finger.
I hold onto you with one hand to steady myself. With the other, I fumble with your pants until I can reach in to feel your cock. A growl escapes from me when I realize that you're rock hard. Now I don't just want you; I crave you. I have to have you. I need you.
I've pushed off the covers now and spread my legs, rubbing my clit harder and pinching a nipple with my other hand.
In my imaginary encounter with you, I'm starting to get close to orgasm. I try to break from our kiss to beg you to fuck me, but you grab the hair on the back of my head and force me back to your mouth. I moan, both in protest and pleasure. As I start to shake, I'm begging you as we kiss, moaning into your mouth. You tighten your grip on my hair, making me squeal, taking my attention away from my pussy for a second, long enough to push that orgasm back for a few more seconds.
But here in my room, on my bed, I have already come once and my hand is drenched with my own juices. But I don't stop, I want more.
In my mind, you pull your hand away from my pussy. I try to object but the sharp pain of your hand pulling my hair roughly as you pull me across the room distracts me. You put your hand on the back of my neck and bend me over the desk. I feel you pulling off my pants and panties just before you kick my legs apart.
I comply, not even trying to stand up or resist you. I hear you undressing the rest of the way behind me and I grab onto the edges of the desk, knowing what you're about to do.
But you stop. You slide your hands up and down my back very slowly as you rub your hardness against me. I can feel my wetness literally dripping down my inner thigh as your cock becomes drenched.
I feel the tip against me, just positioned there. Then you stop again. You tell me to back onto you. I press back, taking you inside me. I exhale an audible groan of....pleasure? No, relief....relief that you've finally given me what I need.
Then you tell me to move. Just one word, move. I know what you want and I start moving forward and back taking your cock in and then moving off it, not completely, but just until only the head is inside. Then I press back again. I keep moving at a steady pace while you stand still behind me. I wonder if I'm pleasing you, and then **SLAP**. You bring your hand down hard on my ass, making me jump and squeal.
You sternly tell me to fuck you harder, to show you that I'm your slut. I nod my head yes and start moving faster. Within 30 seconds I start to come. I ask your permission and try to wait for you. I bite my lip. I ask again, still fucking you. Then I start begging, shaking , knowing I can't wait.
I hear you laugh when I start telling you that I'm sorry. I come hard, almost against my will, but as soon as I do, before I'm done, you pull out. I scream in protest and start to stand, but you roughly push me down again.
Before I can look back at you I feel you driving your hard cock into my ass. Mmmmm... I relax and let my body feel you, breathing deeply to minimize the pain, trying not to pull away, knowing you want me to accept you however you want to take me. I feel the orgasm still rippling through my body as you grab my hips and pull me back onto you as you thrust harder and harder. I grip the desk, loving the feel of the way you are using me, violating me so hard now that you're lifting my feet slightly off the ground with each thrust.
You finally drive deep and hold. I hear you groan and I feel your cock pulsate as you come. I squeeze you, holding you inside me after you let go of my hips.
In my room, I'm coming again, imagining the feel of you, the smell of sex filling the room. I moan loudly, feeling my body tense and then relax slowly as the pleasure washes over me.
I open my eyes, alone in my room. You're gone, but I can still feel you. I drift off to sleep for a nap knowing I'll dream of you and be with you again.
I help you take off your shirt. You pull off my blouse and unhook my bra quickly. My nipples harden instantly when they touch your chest. I try not to let my gasp become audible, but it's no use. You smile and kiss me.
I breathe you in- inhaling as you exhale, exhaling as you inhale. Needing you. Wanting you.
I feel your hand sliding between my legs, and I slide my hand between my legs as I lay on my bed. I imagine that moment when you first touch my clit and I touch myself, releasing the spark of electricity that had been building up. I gasp into your mouth, and you begin to circle my clit with your finger.
I hold onto you with one hand to steady myself. With the other, I fumble with your pants until I can reach in to feel your cock. A growl escapes from me when I realize that you're rock hard. Now I don't just want you; I crave you. I have to have you. I need you.
I've pushed off the covers now and spread my legs, rubbing my clit harder and pinching a nipple with my other hand.
In my imaginary encounter with you, I'm starting to get close to orgasm. I try to break from our kiss to beg you to fuck me, but you grab the hair on the back of my head and force me back to your mouth. I moan, both in protest and pleasure. As I start to shake, I'm begging you as we kiss, moaning into your mouth. You tighten your grip on my hair, making me squeal, taking my attention away from my pussy for a second, long enough to push that orgasm back for a few more seconds.
But here in my room, on my bed, I have already come once and my hand is drenched with my own juices. But I don't stop, I want more.
In my mind, you pull your hand away from my pussy. I try to object but the sharp pain of your hand pulling my hair roughly as you pull me across the room distracts me. You put your hand on the back of my neck and bend me over the desk. I feel you pulling off my pants and panties just before you kick my legs apart.
I comply, not even trying to stand up or resist you. I hear you undressing the rest of the way behind me and I grab onto the edges of the desk, knowing what you're about to do.
But you stop. You slide your hands up and down my back very slowly as you rub your hardness against me. I can feel my wetness literally dripping down my inner thigh as your cock becomes drenched.
I feel the tip against me, just positioned there. Then you stop again. You tell me to back onto you. I press back, taking you inside me. I exhale an audible groan of....pleasure? No, relief....relief that you've finally given me what I need.
Then you tell me to move. Just one word, move. I know what you want and I start moving forward and back taking your cock in and then moving off it, not completely, but just until only the head is inside. Then I press back again. I keep moving at a steady pace while you stand still behind me. I wonder if I'm pleasing you, and then **SLAP**. You bring your hand down hard on my ass, making me jump and squeal.
You sternly tell me to fuck you harder, to show you that I'm your slut. I nod my head yes and start moving faster. Within 30 seconds I start to come. I ask your permission and try to wait for you. I bite my lip. I ask again, still fucking you. Then I start begging, shaking , knowing I can't wait.
I hear you laugh when I start telling you that I'm sorry. I come hard, almost against my will, but as soon as I do, before I'm done, you pull out. I scream in protest and start to stand, but you roughly push me down again.
Before I can look back at you I feel you driving your hard cock into my ass. Mmmmm... I relax and let my body feel you, breathing deeply to minimize the pain, trying not to pull away, knowing you want me to accept you however you want to take me. I feel the orgasm still rippling through my body as you grab my hips and pull me back onto you as you thrust harder and harder. I grip the desk, loving the feel of the way you are using me, violating me so hard now that you're lifting my feet slightly off the ground with each thrust.
You finally drive deep and hold. I hear you groan and I feel your cock pulsate as you come. I squeeze you, holding you inside me after you let go of my hips.
In my room, I'm coming again, imagining the feel of you, the smell of sex filling the room. I moan loudly, feeling my body tense and then relax slowly as the pleasure washes over me.
I open my eyes, alone in my room. You're gone, but I can still feel you. I drift off to sleep for a nap knowing I'll dream of you and be with you again.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
TMI Tuesday with DauntlessD - May 31, 2011
1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
I was a light-weight last night and went to bed about 9:30. We had a Memorial Day barbecue with a large gathering. Yard work, house cleaning, food preparation, fun and indulging in my famous sangria, slumber started sounding good as early as 8:30. No I was not in bed alone, my wife was as tired as I was.
2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
Money is the obvious choice, but not because I want material things -- I want time and options. I am at a point in my life where I pretty much have all the playthings I want... Uhhh... let's narrow the scope of that last statement a bit. Doggie Daunt can't say he has already caught all the women he wants to chase ;) Anyhow, as I was saying, I don't really want any more toys. I want the freedom to spend time doing the things that I want to do; writing, answering TMI questions whatever that may be.
3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
I have to agree with Kat on this one. City Island is a truly wonderful movie that moved me; comedic and full of heart it still surprises me how it quietly slipped through the theaters with so few noticing.
City Island moved me because of all honest bits of truth in it. It is about a dysfunctional family and the secrets and regrets they hide from one another; but all the while still loving one another. Take the time to see it if you haven't already, trust me you'll be telling your friends about it. It's too late to add this to the Prowling with Kat Trivia Contest, but I enjoyed this movie so much I named one of my Ashley Madison profiles after one of its characters. If one of you ladies, or gentlemen with "Claire" accounts finds it we'll award you with some Prowling With Kat bragging rights!
4. What is your favorite way to wake up and what is the first thing you do?
I enjoy waking up slowly where you're almost awake and feel like you're on a cloud, warm and content. Feeling the warmth of a lover against my body makes waking up like this doubly delicious.
5. You’ve been granted an extra hour in the day, what are you going to do?
a. Sleep more
b. Extend a sexual interlude
c. Shop
d. Finally fit in that workout that you usually can’t make time for
B, Extend a sexual interlude. While I enjoy my sleep, I typically get enough and once I'm awake, I'm awake; trying to sleep in once I've awoken is worthless. I'm not big on shopping and my workouts are at 5AM much to my own dismay.
BONUS: Are you in love or lust?
Always. Love some and lust many ;)
Many thanks to the TMI Tuesday Blog for the fun and questions.
I was a light-weight last night and went to bed about 9:30. We had a Memorial Day barbecue with a large gathering. Yard work, house cleaning, food preparation, fun and indulging in my famous sangria, slumber started sounding good as early as 8:30. No I was not in bed alone, my wife was as tired as I was.
2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
Money is the obvious choice, but not because I want material things -- I want time and options. I am at a point in my life where I pretty much have all the playthings I want... Uhhh... let's narrow the scope of that last statement a bit. Doggie Daunt can't say he has already caught all the women he wants to chase ;) Anyhow, as I was saying, I don't really want any more toys. I want the freedom to spend time doing the things that I want to do; writing, answering TMI questions whatever that may be.
3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
I have to agree with Kat on this one. City Island is a truly wonderful movie that moved me; comedic and full of heart it still surprises me how it quietly slipped through the theaters with so few noticing.
City Island moved me because of all honest bits of truth in it. It is about a dysfunctional family and the secrets and regrets they hide from one another; but all the while still loving one another. Take the time to see it if you haven't already, trust me you'll be telling your friends about it. It's too late to add this to the Prowling with Kat Trivia Contest, but I enjoyed this movie so much I named one of my Ashley Madison profiles after one of its characters. If one of you ladies, or gentlemen with "Claire" accounts finds it we'll award you with some Prowling With Kat bragging rights!
4. What is your favorite way to wake up and what is the first thing you do?
I enjoy waking up slowly where you're almost awake and feel like you're on a cloud, warm and content. Feeling the warmth of a lover against my body makes waking up like this doubly delicious.
5. You’ve been granted an extra hour in the day, what are you going to do?
a. Sleep more
b. Extend a sexual interlude
c. Shop
d. Finally fit in that workout that you usually can’t make time for
B, Extend a sexual interlude. While I enjoy my sleep, I typically get enough and once I'm awake, I'm awake; trying to sleep in once I've awoken is worthless. I'm not big on shopping and my workouts are at 5AM much to my own dismay.
BONUS: Are you in love or lust?
Always. Love some and lust many ;)
Many thanks to the TMI Tuesday Blog for the fun and questions.
TMI Tuesday with Kat - May 31, 2011
Is it Tuesday again? Already? It must be because it's TMI time!
1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
Midnight, and I was not alone. I was with my husband. I wanted to stay up later, but he wanted to go to bed and he refuses to go to bed if I am still up, so I went to bed because he was exhausted. It was sort of like when I was a kid and I had to put on a sweater because my mom was cold.
2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
This is a tough one! I would love the gift of perfect health. I took my health for granted when I was a young woman, and now I wish I had paid more attention to it because once it starts to go, you can't get it back. If perfect health were not on the gift table, then I'd pick time. Time is a scarce resource in my life. I'd love to have more. Ok, ok, if I have to pick something that is actually possible to give as a gift, I would be very grateful for about $50 million. They say that money can't buy happiness. Well, I'll let you know.
3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
City Island.
It moved me and it disturbed me. DauntlessD suggested I watch it a couple of months ago. Actually, he recommended it before then but I didn't watch it until a couple of months ago. I have learned that when Dauntless makes a book or movie suggestion, I should jump on it quickly for two reasons. First, he's usually right when he says something is good and worth seeing or reading. Second, he gets pretty upset with me if I don't follow his recommendations. He's still giving me grief for not finishing Game of Thrones
.
As for why I found City Island moving and disturbing, it's about family dynamics (if you think your family is dysfunctional, watch this movie and you will feel so much better). Everyone in the family has secrets, and the main character has a dream that he keeps from his wife and pretty much everyone he knows, but pursuing it really feeds his need for creativity and for something in his life that is just his. He then develops a secret friendship that makes a big difference in his life. Wait a minute....that sounds a lot like my life....hmmm.......
4. What is your favorite way to wake up and what is the first thing you do?
My absolute favorite way to wake up is with a man's arms wrapped around me and a nice hard cock entering me. Mmmm.....that is a real treat. Of course, I rarely get to wake up that way. I won't say never, but it has been so rarely that it has barely moved out of the fantasy column in my life.
As for the first thing I do in the morning, it depends. If I'm waking up my favorite way, the first thing I do is press back against him and enjoy the experience. If not, the first thing I do is to say my morning prayers and thank God for another day of life.
5. You’ve been granted an extra hour in the day, what are you going to do?
a. Sleep more
b. Extend a sexual interlude
c. Shop
d. Finally fit in that workout that you usually can’t make time for
Definitely b - Extend a sexual interlude. One of the things I really don't like is that the time with my honey goes by too quickly. When we look at the clock and know it's time to get up, get dressed and leave, I would give just about anything for an extra hour with him.
As for the other choices, I can sleep when I'm dead. I have too much living to do right now for more sleep. Shopping? Seriously? Uh...no. As for working out, can someone please clarify for me how that is different from "b - Extend a sexual interlude?" I consider that a "kill two birds with one stone" sort of thing, even though neither has anything to do with actually killing birds or throwing stones.
BONUS: Are you in love or lust?
Yes. Why is there an "or" in that question?
Oh, wait. Are you asking about being in love or lust with the same guy? Or can I mix and match?
--------------------------------------------
Today is the deadline for the Prowling with Kat Trivia Contest! You have until 5:00 p.m. (Pacific) today to email me your entry. I don't have many entries at this point, so your chances of winning a prize are very, very good! Come on, do it....you know you want to.
1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
Midnight, and I was not alone. I was with my husband. I wanted to stay up later, but he wanted to go to bed and he refuses to go to bed if I am still up, so I went to bed because he was exhausted. It was sort of like when I was a kid and I had to put on a sweater because my mom was cold.
2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
This is a tough one! I would love the gift of perfect health. I took my health for granted when I was a young woman, and now I wish I had paid more attention to it because once it starts to go, you can't get it back. If perfect health were not on the gift table, then I'd pick time. Time is a scarce resource in my life. I'd love to have more. Ok, ok, if I have to pick something that is actually possible to give as a gift, I would be very grateful for about $50 million. They say that money can't buy happiness. Well, I'll let you know.
3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
City Island.
It moved me and it disturbed me. DauntlessD suggested I watch it a couple of months ago. Actually, he recommended it before then but I didn't watch it until a couple of months ago. I have learned that when Dauntless makes a book or movie suggestion, I should jump on it quickly for two reasons. First, he's usually right when he says something is good and worth seeing or reading. Second, he gets pretty upset with me if I don't follow his recommendations. He's still giving me grief for not finishing Game of Thrones. As for why I found City Island moving and disturbing, it's about family dynamics (if you think your family is dysfunctional, watch this movie and you will feel so much better). Everyone in the family has secrets, and the main character has a dream that he keeps from his wife and pretty much everyone he knows, but pursuing it really feeds his need for creativity and for something in his life that is just his. He then develops a secret friendship that makes a big difference in his life. Wait a minute....that sounds a lot like my life....hmmm.......
4. What is your favorite way to wake up and what is the first thing you do?
My absolute favorite way to wake up is with a man's arms wrapped around me and a nice hard cock entering me. Mmmm.....that is a real treat. Of course, I rarely get to wake up that way. I won't say never, but it has been so rarely that it has barely moved out of the fantasy column in my life.
As for the first thing I do in the morning, it depends. If I'm waking up my favorite way, the first thing I do is press back against him and enjoy the experience. If not, the first thing I do is to say my morning prayers and thank God for another day of life.
5. You’ve been granted an extra hour in the day, what are you going to do?
a. Sleep more
b. Extend a sexual interlude
c. Shop
d. Finally fit in that workout that you usually can’t make time for
Definitely b - Extend a sexual interlude. One of the things I really don't like is that the time with my honey goes by too quickly. When we look at the clock and know it's time to get up, get dressed and leave, I would give just about anything for an extra hour with him.
As for the other choices, I can sleep when I'm dead. I have too much living to do right now for more sleep. Shopping? Seriously? Uh...no. As for working out, can someone please clarify for me how that is different from "b - Extend a sexual interlude?" I consider that a "kill two birds with one stone" sort of thing, even though neither has anything to do with actually killing birds or throwing stones.
BONUS: Are you in love or lust?
Yes. Why is there an "or" in that question?
Oh, wait. Are you asking about being in love or lust with the same guy? Or can I mix and match?
--------------------------------------------
Today is the deadline for the Prowling with Kat Trivia Contest! You have until 5:00 p.m. (Pacific) today to email me your entry. I don't have many entries at this point, so your chances of winning a prize are very, very good! Come on, do it....you know you want to.
TMI Tuesday with Cara - May 31, 2011
Here's sweet Cara's TMI Tuesday post....
1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
10:00ish and no.
2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
Hmmm, spa day? That's my all time favorite gift. One time, I had this admirer who, despite being married, thought I was pretty addictive. He used to surprise me with gifts all the time; IPod, lotions from a little boutique in the town where he lived, gift cards, etc, and one time, he bought me a spa day at an Aveda salon. It was amazing. Ever since then, I've been hooked. I guess another gift, though unlikely, would be the gift of forgiveness of my student loans. Or a new car; I wouldn't say no to that.
3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
Tell No One
, which was thrilling. I love French films and this one did not disappoint.
, which was thrilling. I love French films and this one did not disappoint. 4. What is your favorite way to wake up and what is the first thing you do?
With the sun warming my face and body. I love waking up to the sun pouring in my window and warming everything around me. The first thing I do is drink a cup of coffee.
5. You’ve been granted an extra hour in the day, what are you going to do?
Hmmm, I wanna answer with 'sleep more', but I almost always wake after my standard number of required hours, so I'm not sure if an extra hour would yield more sleep. How about an extra hour in bed, but not necessarily sleeping? That sounds amazing.
a. Sleep more
b. Extend a sexual interlude
c. Shop
d. Finally fit in that workout that you usually can’t make time for
BONUS: Are you in love or lust?
Yep, I am.
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