My Little Slice of Heaven .....and Other Randomness

My "little slice of heaven." That's what I call my woohoo, and none of you guessed it! You came up with some fun guesses, though. My favorite was "Batter's Box," submitted by my buddy, Max. I wish I could reward Max with some time of his own in my Batter's Box, but he lives a few thousand miles away.  Such a shame. ;-)

I've been spending more time with Spartacus lately than I usually do. For those of you don't know, Spartacus is my favorite vibrator. He's quite loyal and always there for me, and he never disappoints.  It's never the same way twice with him, which is a concept that seems to elude Hubby.

So here I've been over the last month, hornier than I have been for a long time, and....well, nothing.  Almost nothing.  Hubby is....well.....he's who he is. JJ is busy. T is also unavailable, although we did have some very nice phone sex recently.  That was lovely. C is monitored more closely by his wife than are most inmates in a maximum security prison. D is on vacation. And SNS Guy remains two thousand miles away. What's a hungry Kat to do? I've attacked poor Hubby a couple of times out of pure frustration, but the lack of passion there really doesn't do much to quench my thirst, if you know what I mean.

So I just give Spartacus a new set of batteries and make do.  Hubby gave me some rechargeable batteries and a new charging station recently.  That helps.  Always thinking about saving money, dear Hubby.

I put lube on the family shopping list last week and Hubby asked what is was for. I answered, "If you don't know, then it has been waaaaaaaay too long......"

He continued to stare at me, so I said, "Spartacus is thirsty."

His eyes widened a bit with recognition and he replied with, "Oh. Ok. Is there any particular variety that Spartacus wants?"

"Spartacus likes what you like," I answered with a devilish smile.

"Oh." And that was the end of the conversation. {{{sigh}}}

On another topic......I'm in the process of writing a smutty romance novel. I've shared several chapters with a few friends, including SNS Guy and Married Guy, but I'm stuck now, not because of writer's block, but because I'm so busy with work and family that finding time is very difficult. I know you understand because the same issue has kept me from writing here as often as I would like.

As I make progress on the novel, however slow that progress may be, I've learned that I'm much better at writing smut than I am at writing romance. I can write a hot sex scene, but guiding characters through sharing their deepest feelings is much more difficult. probably because sex is much easier for me than sharing feelings.

When I told my therapist about the book, she said, "Feelings?  Romantic feelings?  You're really going to write about that?" And then she smiled that hideously condescending smile that she takes on sometimes. She invited me to share some feelings I've had recently.

(crickets)

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me how I feel about something, I'd be rich. The last time I was with T (who she knows as Xavier, just because we all live in the same town and I wanted to be sure that his identity was safe), she asked what feelings I had for him. There was a long silence. Not an uncomfortable one, just a long one.

"I like him very much. I'm not in love with him. I enjoy his company. I get annoyed when he pulls away from me like I'm a threat to his freedom, but I can live with that."

It's at that point that she usually points out to me which of the things I've just said were really thoughts or attitudes, but not feelings.  Now she just has to repeat the word, "Feelings."

"Ok, ok, I said.  Affection. Occasional rejection and annoyance. Comfortable. Caring?  That's all I got. Except for the fact that he turns me on sexually like you wouldn't believe. I hear his voice and I'm wet and ready. Where's that on the feelings chart?"

It reminded me of the first time Hubby and I went to marriage counseling. He said something and the counselor looked at me and said, "So, Kat, how does that make you feel?"  And Hubby started laughing. The counselor was shocked and started to tell Hubby how inappropriate it was to laugh at me, but Hubby explained, "She can't tell you how she feels.  At least not on the spot.  She'll have to answer you next week." He was right. I'm much better at identifying feelings now than I used to be, but it can still be a challenge for me.

Anyway, my instinct is to have my two main characters fucking all the time - at least as often as I want to, which is a lot.  Fucking on the bus, on the bed, on the kitchen table, in the elevator, in the car, in the shower. But in a smutty romance novel, there must be some romance, so I need to build them up to fucking with some romance and feelings.  Ugh.

In the prowling world, the romance and feelings often, although not always, follow the initial sexual encounters. That, I understand.That, I can describe quite well.

Maybe that's the novel I should be writing.