A Few Tips for Mistress Day Gifts

Getting something for your wife or girlfriend is easy. Choosing something for your mistress is much more difficult. You have to remember that, if she's married, it needs to be something that she either won't be taking home or that will not attract any attention from her husband. You'll have to get together to  give it to her because you probably can't mail it to her. The easy choices that you are used to relying on are not available to you - flowers, etc.

Mistress gift giving may not be easy, but don't ignore the holiday. That would send a message you probably don't want to send - that she's not important to you, that you don't care enough to recognize the holiday.

First, let's start with the card. Of course you'll want to get her a card. If you give her a physical card, she's going to have to throw it away, as much as she doesn't want to.  One strategy is to get a card, write your personal note in it, scan it, and then after you have given her the card, you can email her the scanned version. You can also send an e-card, but not as much effort goes into those, so they are not quite as special.

You can also give her a love letter, or love email, in lieu of a card. The whole point of a love letter is to share your feelings. If you're not prepared to do that, then this is not the option for you.

Speaking of feelings....if you love her, for godsake, just tell her! Get over the mental masturbation you practice whenever the L word comes up about what kind of commitment it means, whether you can love your wife and another woman, and how long it may last. Forget all that. I'm talking about pure emotion, completely divorced from your logical mind. If you love her right now, tell her so.  We all know that tomorrow is never guaranteed, but to avoid love today because you're afraid it won't be here tomorrow is just....well, silly. You're alive now. She's in your life now.

And if you've been avoiding the L word for some reason, there's not a better gift in the world you could give her.

What about other gifts? You need to select something that she can easily slip into her regular life unnoticed. What fits into this category is different for every woman. Some of us can slip an pair of earrings into the jewelry box unnoticed and others of us can't. As many of you know, I'm a big fan of small, inexpensive, but meaningful gifts. I like little things that I can use or carry every day that will remind me of the giver. I know I may be in the minority and that many women like expensive gifts, but that has never been me. My favorite gift has always been, and remains, books. I go through so many books that Hubby never notices new ones and when he does, he assumes I bought them for myself, which is usually true.

Don't forget about gift certificates for massages and other spa services. Make her feel good when you're not with her making her feel good.

Or you can go for sex toys and/or tasty lubricants.  Those come with a storage issue (where do you hide it safely?), but they also make your playtime more fun and they can become one of those gifts that keeps on giving.

Whatever you do, make sure you think about your sweetie when you do it and select something that is particularly special for her.

What about turning the tables?  What should women know about Mistress Day gifts for their lovers. I know I'm exposing the double standard, but women are not expected to recognize the holiday with their lovers unless they choose to. If you want to, go ahead, but keep the same guidelines in mind.

Mistress Day - A Time for Extra Caution

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, so this is a good time to start talking about Mistress Day.  Mistress Day is traditionally celebrated on February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day because prowlers need to spend Valentine's Day with their spouses. I say "traditionally" but there really isn't much about it that is traditional, except for the fact that it has become so common that just about everyone knows about it.  That makes it a red flag for prowlers.

Why?

Because if you know that February 13th is Mistress Day, your wife or husband may know, too, and will be watching you especially closely to make sure that your time is accounted for on that day. My suggestion is to discuss it with your lover and pick another day to celebrate, say the 12th or 15th, or even something the following week. You need to discuss it because if you just assume that you'll celebrate it the following week, your Mistress may think you forgot about it, and what does that mean for you? It means there will be another woman not having sex with you.

I'll write a post specifically on tips for Mistress Day gifts, but you should start thinking about it now so you aren't doing anything at the last minute.  Waiting 'til the last minute will likely mean that you'll be in a hurry and that's when we make mistakes. Take the time to make a plan and execute it carefully, and everything should be just fine.

I'll share one tip with you now of what not to do.  Don't ignore it. In my Valentine's Day post last year I shared with you how my special someone at the time told me all about what he did to make Valentine's Day special for his wife, and then he did nothing for me.  Nothing.  Nada. Don't misunderstand.  Listening to the what he did for his wife was fine.  It was very sweet and that didn't bother me a bit. The part that bothered me was being completely taken for granted. Those of you who know me well know that it doesn't take much to make me happy. That's what made it sting all the more. A minimum of effort is all that would have been required.

The irony is that Valentine's Day and Mistress Day are all about letting your wife and lover know that you do not take them for granted, that you appreciate them, and in many cases, that you love them.

So, there are two messages of caution here.  First, be very careful about how you celebrate Mistress Day. Your spouse may be watching you.  Second, be careful not to ignore it with your lover.  Make sure you let her know that you appreciate her.