Thursday, February 2, 2012

Would You Like A Wake-Up Call?

JJ and I met today for some afternoon fun. We met at the same hotel we've been going to for a long time. We like it there.  The couple that runs the place is a little odd, but they are nice to us and very discreet, so I don't want to judge them.  They let us pay cash without putting a credit card down as security, and the rooms are clean. 

I've written about our experiences with Strange Hotel Guy and his wife several times.  Over the last 10 months, we've become more and more comfortable with them, and they with us. But there are still some things that are strange.

We have been there somewhere between 30 and 40 times over the past ten months - always in the afternoon and we're always out of there within a few hours. It's pretty obvious what we're doing there. But every time, Mrs. Strange Hotel Guy asks, "Would you like a wake-up call?". WTF? Does she really think we're napping? We politely reply, "No, thank you," but sometimes I want to say, "Yes, please. Call in three hours so we don't fuck right through the time we have to leave. My husband hates it when I'm late getting home."

There's another strange exchange that goes on every time, too. We ask for the least expensive room because it just doesn't make sense to us to spend a bunch of money on a suite or a large room when the tiny room will be just fine for a few hours. Mrs. Strange Hotel Guy always says, "but that room is really small," as she tries to talk us into a more expensive room.   I say, "Thanks, but that room is large enough," but I'm thinking, "All we need is a bed....and a chair....and a desk... A bunch of extra space is not necessary." I guess she thinks we need room for a rhythmic gymnastics floor exercise. More importantly, doesn't she know that the small room has more mirrors (including a full wall of mirrors at the head of the bed)? They are clearly designed to fool us into thinking the room is big, but I like watching JJ do his thing.  I'm referring to me, of course.

And then there's housekeeping. It seems that they are always cleaning whatever floor we happen to be on. Today, in the middle of our time together, there was a knock on the door and someone attempted to open it. Thankfully, JJ had engaged the locking mechanism that keeps the door from opening more than an inch.

Then I heard a voice shout, "Housekeeping!" and the door shut. We arrived an hour and a half earlier and the room was clean and ready. We were leaving in about an hour. Heck, the housekeeper was vacuuming the hall when we arrived and she saw us go into the room. Do people having affairs often need housekeeping to step in after an hour or so to freshen up the room? Should one get up and dressed for that or can she give us fresh towels while JJ continues to pull my hair and give me a nice hard ass fucking?

 It was just weird. So weird that I wanted to shout back, "No, thanks. But we could use a wake-up call in an hour or so."


Mr. Dryden said...

Glad to hear you guys had fun, and that the cheap room was available. ;)

Ryan Beaumont said...

Maybe next time the clerk tries to upsell the room tell her that you just want to screw and offer $10 for the lobby couch! :)

Hey I noted your comment about watching JJ; isn't that just what you claimed about our PotUS. I think you really have the HOTS for Barack but just don't want to admit it! It's OK, you can tell me - I won't share with Mitt! :)

DauntlessD said...

Why do I get the feeling they pocket the cash...

Kat said...

Thanks, Mr. D. We had a really nice time, as always.

Ryan - There is a major difference. I was watching JJ. I said that Barak probably watches himself (like you do). Big difference.

Daunt - Maybe they do, but I get the feeling that they are the owners-proprietors so it really doesn't matter much. heck, even if they're not, I don't care what they do with the money.

JJ said...

Ryan - I don't usually look in the mirrors. I'm more interested in watching Kat . She is truly a sight to behold from behind!

Anonymous said...

Hey Kat.

Just a quick question that's been on my mind since I stumbled upon your blog.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sex outside of the marriage, but don't you feel the least bit of remorse for not giving your husband the opportunity to choose his fate? Shouldn't he be made aware of your extramarital activities so that he might make an informed decision of whether or not he wants to stay put?

Kat said...

JJ- you're making blush, you sweet sexy man, you. ;-)

Anon- My husband and I have discussed it at length, and we continue to discuss it. We have made the decision that we will not split up under any circumstances. With one exception (the most recent meeting) my husband is aware of every meeting I've had with JJ. He has known about my activities for months. You have made the assumption that he doesn't know. Do I flaunt it in front of him? No! Why would I do such a thing?

I do find it interesting that so many folks assume that infidelity will automatically end a marriage. Isn't marriage about more than sex? Isnt love capable of forgiveness and recognizing the difference between sex and committment?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for taking the time to answer me, Kat. I know that you catch a lot of flack here, and I was sincerely hoping that you wouldn't number me among your detractors. I'm just a curious soul.

I did make the assumption that your husband was unaware of JJ. Hmmm. Actually, I made a few assumptions based on what I know about affairs and their discovery. When you made the post about your confessions and your husband's confessions, I guess I assumed that you guys (having both been outed) would cut all extramarital activity and refocus on the marriage. Not that that option is the only valid one. You guys seem to be doing well enough even with JJ in the picture.

Speaking entirely from my personal belief system, infidelity would automatically end my marriage. Context is important here though. How do I define infidelity? It's not simply taking another sex partner or lover. It's doing so without my knowledge and consent and thus eliminating my ability to trust my spouse. I can't continue to expose myself to a woman whom I can't trust.

Kat said...

Anon - We *are* working on our marriage and we *are* doing counseling (both individually and as a couple).

I understand what you are saying about the trust issue, but what ever happened to "until death do us part?" It seems that you have already decided in advance that it's really "until death do us part...unless you cheat on me and then you're history."

My husband and I have decided that "til death do us part" actually means something. So does better or worse, good times and bad, etc.

Anonymous said...

Hey again, Kat.

I have indeed built that stipulation into my understanding of marriage. Just as you've interpreted the vow to "forsake all others" as a call to marital fidelity but not necessarily sexual or emotional fidelity, I have determined that "until death do us part" is inapplicable to an instance of infidelity. A marriage suffering from an untrustworthy spouse is not a marriage at all. Thus, if my wife should cheat, then she has made the decision to nullify our union and the vows placed upon us become non-binding.

Divorce in that scenario becomes a mercy for either of us.

Kat said...

Anon- To be clear, there was no "forsake all others" language in my marriage vows, although I will admit it was implied.

Also, did you make it clear to your wife before you married her that you were willing to promise "for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad" UNLESS she cheated? Was the exception written into the vows? If so, great? If not, your wife has every reason to expect that you would forgive her.

Anonymous said...

Prior to entering into our union, throughout the whole of the engagement period, my soon-to-be wife and I had very intimate and thorough conversation concerning what expectations either of us was bringing into the marriage. Essentially, we made one another abreast of what behaviors and attitudes would lead to the dissolution of our bond.

Quite naturally, we discussed the issue of cheating and what such a term denoted for either of us. As I mentioned before, I have no grievances with the taking of sexual partners outside of the marriage. It is only informed consent that I (and my wife) require. If that agreement is breached, then so to must our marriage be.

We both accepted our vows with this understanding in place. We did not vocalize these interpretations atop the altar, but neither of us has any doubt about what is and what is not forgivable.

Kat said...

Anon- I completely respect that you and your wife agreed in advance that there were conditions on your marriage. Just out of curiosity, is there anything else, besides infidelity, that the two of you agreed is unforgivable?

Please understand- I have no problem with people who want to have a marriage that doesn't include outside sex. I am NOT interested in convincing anyone to start prowling. It's quite the opposite, in fact. I DO have a problem with folks who consider themselves superior because they don't cheat but they'll end the marriage over things like not getting enough sex or their spouse gaining weight. I'm not speaking of you because your comments have been respectful. I welcome discussion, but that overt hypocrisy is hard to swallow.

Anonymous said...

One of the things that first attracted me to my wife was the fact that she and I share a passion for studying the dharmic religions. Neither of us is a card carrying member of any faith that falls under that umbrella term, but we do adopt some of their principles in the management of our lives and relationship to one another. We decided that a good rule of thumb for maintaining a healthy marriage would be somewhat loosely rooted in the Hindu concept of ahimsa (no harm).

Harm, with respect to the human condition, occurs broadly at three levels: physical, emotional, and intellectual/mental. So, with that in mind here are a few more of our dealbreakers in each category. Domestic violence is automatic grounds for divorce. There is nary a reason why I should feel the need to strike my wife, and the reverse should also be true. If we have reached that point, then there is no turning back.

Constant belittling and behavior intended to destroy the emotional sanctity of either my wife or I would also be grounds for termination. I'm not referring to the casual and infrequent off-hand remark that spouses sometimes find themselves guilty of in the heat of the moment. I mean a prolonged, debilitating battle with this kind of distortion in behavior (take, as an extreme, the kind of environment that Scott Peterson must have cultivated in his home).

Finally (admittedly there is overlap here in all three areas), I'll tread again over the issue of infidelity. In short, I need to be able to believe in my wife. I need to know that she is my ally and worthy of all that I invest in our partnership, and vice versa. Trust is so much more than a cognitive exercise granted, but it begins in that realm.

I can more than understand your frustration with the kind of judgment that you receive via this blog. Even excusing the hypocrisy that you noted, there is still a tremendous arrogance in one applying elements of his or her worldview to your life. That is why I have tried to refrain from telling you anything about your marriage. My very first comment was a point of curiosity, an investigation of the thought processes that propel your actions. I do hope that you sensed no condemnation or reproach from me.