I had just turned 38 and had started prowling again recently. I hadn't planned on prowling. In fact, it had been several years since my last time, but something had changed with me physically. Without explanation, some hormonal switch had been flipped and I was craving sex all the time. Yes, all the time. That's not an exaggeration. O.k., maybe not while I was sleeping, but you know what I mean. On top of that, my husband was being a real jerk, and he had been for the last six months, so it was pretty easy to jump on AOL and find a friend or two to take my mind of the asshole I was living with and satisfy the new urges I was experiencing.
One Saturday afternoon, I was home alone (hubby and the kids were out at a regular Saturday afternoon activity) and the phone rang. I answered, and heard the sexiest voice I had heard in a long, long time say, very slowly with a deep southern drawl, "Well, hello, ma'am. Is Joe available?" Normally, I would reply "Sorry, there's no Joe here" and get back to my chores, but this time I couldn't resist saying, "I really wish he were available, but he's not. In fact, no one named Joe lives here. I knew someone named Joe once, though. Is that good enough?"
The part of me that hadn't yet melted at his hello was left smiling and moistening from his reply, "Well, that depends, ma'am. Do you think you can help me? You certainly sound like you can." This might be a good place to mention that I've been told I have quite a sexy and seductive voice. Mr. Wrong Number clearly agreed.
"How can I help you, Sir?" I asked.
"Oh, I can think of a dozen ways, ma'am, but can you tell me what number I dialed? I certainly want to make sure I dial this number again." FYI - For you young folks, caller ID was not as ubiquitous 8 years ago as it is now. You actually had to ask for someone's phone number. I know, crazy, huh?
After going back and forth a few times, it became clear that he was only off by one number. Now he had my home phone number, and I started to get nervous, so I tried to end the conversation. "I need to run. I'm sorry this isn't the number you were looking for. Good luck finding Joe," I said.
"Oh," he replied. "I think this is exactly the number I was looking for....uh....may I ask your name, ma'am?"
Against my better judgement (heck, everything I do in my prowling seems to be against my better judgement), I told him the truth - my real name. "My name is Kat. What's your name?"
"You can call me.....Joe," he replied. I laughed. And then he asked, "Is there a Mr. Kat?" That's always a moment of truth. I could lie and keep the little flirtation going, or shut it down quickly with my standard, honest response. Because I believe that honesty is always the best policy (except with my husband, of course, silly), I said, "Yes, there is, indeed, a Mr. Kat. Is there a Mrs. Joe?"
"Why yes there is," he said. Ok, where does this conversation go from here? He moved right ahead with, "Would you mind if I called this very right number again sometime, Kat?"
"Sure, Joe. Anytime," I purred in my sexiest voice, just for effect. Fat chance. The odds that this guy would ever call back were slim to none, especially since we just established that we were both married. Seriously, this wasn't AOL or some phone chat line. This was a stranger encounter. Those rarely turn into anything. We said our goodbyes, and that was that. Well, not exactly. I did have a very nice orgasm later remembering his sexy voice and imagining the man behind it, but I expected that would be it.
Then, the following Saturday afternoon at about the same time, he called again. I answered the phone, and he said, "I've missed ya, Kat" in that unbelievable voice. We had a lovely 30 minute chat about life, work, and family - all without giving any real identifiable information. Then it was over.
Joe called again every Saturday at the same time for the next 8 weeks, each conversation becoming a bit more intimate until we finally had our first session of phone sex. I'll write about it separately because it absolutely deserves its own post, but I can tell you now that the good Lord gave that man that incredibly sexy voice for a reason, and I had just learned what that reason was. Oh my, my, my...... After I had come twice, he said, "Well, sweet Kat, it has been 30 minutes and I have to go, but I can't wait to hear you come again." WTF?! I thought, what is this, a timed therapy session? Oh well, it was nice. Now that I knew we had a 30 minute limit, I'd have to work a little faster to get the most out of this guy.
The next Saturday, hubby and the kids didn't go out like they always did. As the time approached for my regular call with Joe, I got more and more nervous. Now I was kicking myself for not getting his phone number so I could slip into another room and warn him not to call. I tried several ruses to get hubby out of the house. I failed at all of them. Then, at precisely the appointed time, the phone rang....and hubby answered. My heart stopped.
My husband said, "Hello?". Then a pause. Then he said, "Sure, she's right here," and he handed me the phone. "It's some guy named Joe," he said, and then he went right back to watching TV. I took the phone and tried to sound like I didn't know who it was, "Hello?"
"Well, well, Kat," he said slowly. "I guess you can't chat this afternoon."
"No, I'm sorry, " I said. "I won't be able to help you with that this time."
Then he said, "Meet me at the park on Washington and 5th in 10 minutes," and then he hung up.
I was stunned. I fumbled to end the conversation that had already ended, "Sure. Maybe next year. Good luck. Goodbye." My husband looked at me quizzically. I rolled my eyes and said, "Little League needs a fundraising chair again." He said, "Heck, you don't have time for that, Kat. I'm glad you said no."
I stepped into the kitchen to collect myself. Should I go? I don't even know this guy. Sure he has a great voice, but he could be an axe murder or a rapist...... However, it's a public place. What could go wrong?
Without another thought, I grabbed my purse and my keys, took the curry powder from the shelf and shoved it in my purse, and headed to the front door. I looked over my shoulder as I was leaving to tell my husband, "I need some curry powder for dinner. I'll be back in a few minutes."
I got in the car and drove.
Who would I find at the park on Washington and 5th? We had never talked about appearance. Would I recognize him? Would he recognize me? Was I crazy to be doing this? Oh, that question was easy to answer. This was insane, but I kept driving anyway.
To be continued......