I know I haven't been posting regularly, Prowlers. I'm sorry about that. Trust me, I really want to post often, but sometimes life just gets in the way. This time, it has been work that has interfered. As many of you know, I own a small business and the buck stops with me, as they say. I've been working long hours and not having time to do any of the things I really enjoy.
And that includes sex.
Marital sex is complicated enough under the best of circumstances, but when you throw in crazy work hours and work-induced exhaustion, it's even worse.
For example, I worked a 15 hour day yesterday (yes, on Sunday), came home, fixed dinner for the family (late), cleaned up, got the little one bathed and to bed, showered myself and went to bed. Don't even get me started on why I had to make dinner when Hubby and my adult son were home all day lounging around; that's really another conversation entirely, but it is related to the exhaustion factor.
In spite of all of that, I was up for sex. Heck, I'm always up for sex. In fact, I primed the pump, so to speak, in the shower and it wouldn't have taken much to make me very, very happy, relaxed, and ready for my six hours of sleep.
I got in bed, and there was Hubby. Sweet Hubby. Hubby had a dilemma. He knew I've been working like crazy and he doesn't want to pressure me into sex when he knows I'm tired. Of course, he had no problem with that over the dinner issue, but I digress.....again.
He also knows that, generally speaking, I want sex all the time. He's not particularly interested in sex.
He's confused. He has a dilemma. What to do? What to do?
So, he says, "I can do you if you want. I don't want it, but I can do you if you want."
Wow. What a way to get a gal's pussy quivering....NOT.
I would have enjoyed sex, even as tired as I was, but I was too tired to deal with "duty sex" and the emotion that it stirs up in me. And I was way too tried to have the conversation that usually goes along with duty sex (explaining to Hubby, in language that men understand, why his offer is not alluring in any way).
I responded, "No, thank you." That's it. A simple, "No, thank you."
Hubby knew he was in trouble. He was ready for, "Sure, let's fuck!" or a conversation of some kind, but "No, thank you" in that situation is wife-speak for, "Don't do me any favors, you son-of-a-bitch. And don't touch me, either."
I rolled over and was in the process of falling asleep (because I really was that tired), but he wanted to talk. Uuugghhhhhh. So, we talked about the duty sex offer. We talked about how many hours I've been working and how he wants me to work less. We talked about how I'd like a little help around the house. We talked about how he misses me because I'm gone so much. We talked about how little sex we've had recently and his fear that it means I'm getting it elsewhere (which is true, but not lately. Why? Because I'm working too much!).
By the time the conversation was done, I was wishing I had ignored my abhorrence of duty sex and just said, "Sure, let's fuck!" We would have been done a lot sooner. A lot sooner.
It occurred to me this morning that this bout of marital discord could have been avoided with just a little bit better communication before we got into bed. All I had to do was indicate that I wanted it or not and Hubby never would have been forced into his atrocious duty sex offer which started the downhill spiral. While I was tired, I wasn't too tired to say, "Let's get it on" or "Let's skip sex tonight, ok?" That's all it would have taken.
But I didn't say anything. The real problem wasn't that I have been working too much (although that is a problem). The real problem was communication....again.
So, today I decided that I was not going to make the same mistake. I sent Hubby the following series of text messages throughout the day:
7:00 a.m. - Please be advised that I would like a nice hard fucking tonight.
10:00 a.m. - Still want to cum. Don't forget.
11:00 a.m. - Did I mention I'm not wearing a bra today?
12:30 p.m. - I'm looking at the picture on my desk of our trip to Florida. Remember making love in the hot tub?
2:30 p.m. - (No words, just a picture of my tits I took in the bathroom with my phone.)
4:00 p.m. - I'll be home by 7:00. Can you get dinner started? That will leave me more energy to give you a nice long blow job later.
5:30 p.m. - Do we have to wait 'til bedtime? Can't we just duck into the back room for a few minutes while the kids are watching TV? Better yet...let's do that AND do it at bedtime, too!
6:30 p.m. - Did I mention that I'm horny and I would love some hot sex with you tonight? Be home soon.;-)
Think he got the message?
I'll let you know. It's time to head home.