A Chunk of Clit

This made me laugh so hard I just had to share it immediately. If you accidentally cut off a chunk of your genetalia what would be the first thing you would do?

Bang Me

Another gem passed on by SoccerMom.

The Lingering Trauma of Prowling

By Somewhere Man

The picture taunts me at work. Every day. The beautiful woman that I fell in love with last year is still in my life. Only she isn't. This woman, whom I wrote and wrote about amid the heartache and heartbreak of last fall, now has a prominent spot in my office. Her image is now in a framed photo next to my closest colleague, a man a whole whopping 26 years older than I am. He's old but not to old to be fucking her. But he has a ton of money and, now that her divorce is final, she is single.

Just like the old man.

Because we work together, I see his endless photos as he flies her to California and Florida. The old man looks pretty damn happy and he should be. He's tapping an unspeakably beautiful woman.

Last night, I was at a going away party for a mutual colleague. Old Man and Blonde Hottie are at a side table of this upscale bar. She sits on his aged lap, arms around him, kisses him deep and then she opens her eyes and makes eye contact with me and smiles.

Ouch.

Many days I walk past the framed picture of the smokin' hot, blonde and suddenly-single cougar and think, "damn, how did I lose her to a frail old man with a bad back?". Yet, more and more, I think: "damn, I really dodged a bullet with that crazy whore." Especially as, in the two years since I crossed a line and became a prowler, I have seen it blow up in far too many peoples' faces.

***

Let's see. I've seen hilarious and popular prowling blogs lead to people (men and women) being "outed" and their unaware spouses finding out. I've seen people get busted through Facebook flirting and messaging. Some of these marriages ended in divorce. Some didn't.

I've been lucky. A recent "outing scare" over the winter sent me off-line for good.

So much of writing a blog about this was to show off. To, somehow, validate that a middle-aged guy like me could still score a parade of gorgeous women even as I could not get indifferent and increasingly unattractive wife to even do anything to or with me in bed.

For the last two years, I have found myself in the embrace of a bevy of beauties. Thin waifs who needed to eat a steak. Curvy women fretting over love handles. Women from different ethnic backgrounds but all women who simply wanted what they were missing. The closeness. The feeling of desire.

Now I just wonder how empty it all was... and still is.

It's just been a game.

Yet it was a game that I had freakin' mastered. As a guy on AM, I had hit a point where 90% of the messages I would send out would be answered. If I was able to talk my way into a "face-to-face", I would usually get my desires filled fairly quickly. As I look back on the actual totals, I met with a total of 9 women from AM. That equaled 7 BJs or intercourse, 1 woman who didn't want me and 1 woman I backed away from. It was not because of my dashing and debonair nature.

I would argue it was because I found "the system" to make it work. In fact, by the end of all this, I had become so proficient in "the system" that I had to even make it appear so non-rehearsed and smooth.

I was joking with Kat recently as I was in a bookstore and came across a book in the "Relationships" section that was a 200-page book about picking up women. 200 pages? I can sum it all up in the rest of this post.

For AM Pickups: I will start here as this is now a very common way to hook up. I cannot stress enough how easy it really is here, especially if you live in a major metro area. I live in a mid-size city which means I have to be extremely careful on who I meet or how much I reveal right away. Yet, AM women are "already on second base". At least the ones that are not those "autobots", out to take away all of your credits.

Target Precisely. Avoid the temptation to buy 100 credits and then message 15 women at once. Allow yourself a maximum of 4 messages a week. That's it. When you have an 80-90% response rate (as I do), 4 is the maximum that I can juggle at one time. Decide which 4 "contestants" will be here for this week. Write on a Saturday or a Sunday and see where it goes.

An Authentic Note Helps. This I also cannot stress enough. I'll offer my standard opening line for you guys: "Amid the 577 men who are probably chasing you, I hope you can take the time to learn a little more about me...." And I am off and running. It's a balance of revealing a little more about yourself (but not too much). Ask her three questions about herself. Mine are easy: Why are you here? What do you crave? What drives you crazy? They almost always respond.

No Talk About Sex Until She Talks About Sex. I am 99.44% certain that Kat has covered this. Far too many men send cock shots or talk about how they like to pump from behind with a finger in her ass. Don't do it...even though we are all here for it.

Once you're on the second message from her, then it is time to move her to an email address. Then, after a few days of emailing, move her to Google Voice.

For Non-AM Pickups: Damn, these are tricky. The woman I fell in love with was a "non-AM pickup". Those are nerve-racking, especially as I refuse to ever get involved with anyone in my workplace. I had one of these non-AM pickup situations this week. I'm at a big-box hardware store and the woman who helped me pick out my paint was stunning. Tall, thin, 40ish, black hair, full eyes, great smile. As I leave, I notice she has the wedding ring (perfect as I do not pursue single women), she tells me that she has five kids.

Me: "I hope that you have someone in your life who tells you that you have a superb smile."

Her (shocked): "Wow... actually, I don't. He never tells me. We're in counseling."

Me: "Well (as I scribble), here is my number in case you'd ever like a man to tell you that you have a great smile."

She texted me five minutes later, agreeing to meet me for coffee the next day.

Yet, with the non-AM pickup, it is like an operating room patient that took a bullet to the chest. "The next 24 hours will be critical". A "straight pickup" will probably be filled with doubts and even guilt that she is considering a date. Mrs. Hot Raven-Haired Lady texted me the next day that she was full of guilt and only wanted to be friends. I wrote that I understood and hoped that she kept smiling.

Perhaps she will be back. Perhaps not.

Something, something about the chase.

The First Face-To-Face/Coffee Date: The most important logistic. Do not meet within five miles of either of your houses. It's not a spouse I'm worried about seeing. It's her little friends. It's a coworker. That's what worries me. I always pick a place away from my side of town and, often, at a non-peak hour. That means a coffeehouse at 10 am, 3 pm or 7 pm.

- Smile and Have Her Drink Ready. Find out if she loves mango smoothies and have it ready to go. This also allieviates the issue of standing in a slow-moving coffeehouse line with a woman who is not your wife.

- Have a Plan For The "Hour". Mine is always the same. Let her talk about her day for five minutes to blow off some steam. Answer any questions she has. I delve into one of my three "stock stories" from my past that are hilarious, detailed and self-deprecating. The woman always laughs at the end. Then we transition into what it is what we're doing here, on the edge of an affair.

About 50% of the time, it ends with me trying to walk her to her car. In those situations, I don't lean in for the kiss unless I see that she wants it badly. The other 50% of the time, especially if she has an SUV or a minivan with tented windows and if the date is going well, I recommend that we go sit in her ride. Middle row. In that situation, you'll have her reaching for your belt buckle within 15 minutes. Guaranteed.

Why write all of this? Ego, perhaps. But also because I've found "the system" that works for me. I am a decent looking guy but also one who is curious and listens to what a woman has to say. It's the balance between "alpha" and "beta". I always arrive with a plan (alpha) but I do listen and try and make her feel more comfortable (beta).

I also write this because, for all of the success I've had in tasting this delicious flesh, I also know how badly it can hurt as well. The image of a woman I wanted to be "the love of my life" taunts me in the office every day. I see her kissing that old man and I can't do anything about it. It hurts.

This is a dangerous game we all play.

Be careful.

Eat Me

No, I'm not grumpy today, but "Eat me" is the first thing I thought when SoccerMom shared this with me.

Involuntary Fidelity

It has been over a month since I've prowled and I have no immediate prospects in sight. This isn't my record, of course. My record is 8 years. Right now I'm wondering how I survived those 8 years. Actually, I know. I worked 60-80 hours a week.....and I ate a lot. FYI - neither of those is a good substitute for mind blowing sex. All they can do is distract you, hopefully enough so you forget about what you're missing.

I know what you're thinking. "Kat, you are a prowler extraordinaire. How could you be struck involuntarily faithful?"

 There are several reasons.

First, JJ has been MIA. He has been dealing with family issues and he's busy. In a week or so it will 2 months since I've seen him. And there has been hardly any communication in the last week, and none in the last few days....and it has been dwindling over time. Yeah, it looks more like lack of interest than lack of time to me, too. Ouch. I've got a bit of a heartache over that. I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on...

Second, I just haven't been that motivated to search out new friends. There's all that getting-to-know-you crap that seems to take forever. Whatever happened to the days when it was ok just to say, "Hey, I think we could have a good time together. Wanna?" Oh yeah, that was the 80's. Sometimes I miss the 80's.

Third, I've been busy at work (not a good thing) and Hubby and I are getting along very well (a very good thing) and I've fallen back into a rut in my life in general. I've made some changes in my work life that will get me out of that rut very soon, but when part of your life is in a rut, it's hard to get another part out of it, too.

Finally, I was reconsidering fidelity for awhile a few weeks ago. That got me out of the swing of things, I guess.

 So here I am.

Daunt corrected me earlier today and told me that I am actually voluntarily faithful because I could jump on AM and have a "date" within 24 hours if I really wanted to or I could pick up the phone and call any of a handful of ex-playmates and be hooked up within a few hours. That's true. So why don't I really want to?

Is it because I miss JJ and I'm down about not being able to see him and not talking to him?

Is it because I can't seem to get Seattle Guy off my mind?

I really don't know.

But I do know this. While I may not be in the mood to hunt, I'm an definitely hungry for an extramarital treat. Very hungry.

Well, if it's not going to come to me, I'll guess I'll have to get off my ass and go find a tasty morsel (a.k.a. hot and horny fine specimen of a man) to enjoy.

Applications are now being accepted.

DauntlessD, Where is he now?

Daunt here.  I know I haven't written as much as Kat, nor have I shared as much about myself; but from this point going forward I plan to.  I have no real goal in mind for this post, I'm just writing; and I seem to being lead just to introduce myself.  So, who is DauntlessD aka Dauntless Dreamer?  That's a good question, it's one I'm trying to figure out myself.  What I can tell you is a rough synopsis of how I got to where I am now.

Honestly it feels a little strange looking back on my life at age 43.  As I reflect, I now have the wisdom to see many of the patterns that caused me to choose the paths I did in life's crossroads.  One of these patterns is to do what I feel is the right thing for others even if it is to my own detriment.  Yes, it sounds selfless.  Yes, it feels honorable.  But it's a personality trait that has often hurt me.

I was married at 20 and shortly after had two children.  Needless to say life is pretty hard when you have two children early in your 20s.  By my mid-20s I realized I had no idea what I wanted in life.  This shortly after turned into a divorce.

Now remember that propensity I mentioned to always do the right thing for others?  Well this made the guilt and shame I felt for the divorce, and hurting my children, crushing.  So what did I do?  I bounced right into another relationship with a co-dependent emotionally unstable woman and married her.  The guilt and shame I felt from my divorce caused me to shutout my family and stay with my second wife for way, way too long.  Why? Because I thought I was doing the right thing for her, and I didn't want to feel that guilt and shame that I felt before.

I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but within the past couple of months I've had a strange realization.  I had finally forgiven myself for divorcing my first wife and hurting my children.  I think it happened within the past two years and it wasn't until I was living alone that I was thinking clearly enough to see it.  It has had an amazing affect on my outlook.  I don't have those awful feelings in regard to my second wife -- honestly I feel cleansed.

Today, looking forward, I feel like I'm getting a second chance at life. A second chance to live. I'm excited by the opportunities.  Also I know and understand myself better than I ever have before; I'm more confident in me and who I am.  Then at the same time it's daunting, almost overwhelming.  How on earth does a 43 year old man restart?  What am I going to do with this second chance?

Well PWK fans, it looks like you have a front row seat.

Madison... What happened?

Daunt here.  For those that have been following, you saw my note in Panty Games part 1 that Madison and I are no longer seeing one another.  As promised I'll share with you what I can along with any thoughts I may have.  But first for those that are new or haven't been following my Madison posts, let me recap, just to bring them up to speed.

At the end of 2010 I hit a pretty rough patch in my life.  I was depressed and lonely, and still married.  I needed something, but I didn't know what it was.  Just trying to grasp at literally anything to break me out of my funk I got onto Ashley Madison which was fun. Ashley Madison was a distraction, a game.  Good things came out of it honestly. It was there I met Kat and our friendship began and shortly after I met Madison in early 2011.

Madison and I became friends via email then shortly after met for dinner a couple of times.  We enjoyed each other's company and there was a connection, but Madison was going on an out of country vacation that summer with husband.  Also at this time I still had not yet chosen to divorce my wife.  Madison went on her trip and I stopped hearing from her.  I just assumed she reconnected with her husband.

Fall of 2011 I chose to divorce and shortly after, out of the blue, I received a text from Madison.  We reconnected over dinner and a romance began to blossom.

My time with Madison was wonderful and we grew to love one another.  But this is not to say that we were never confronted with guilt or regret.  As I grew to know Madison, I also by extension learned a little about her husband.  She loved him.  I knew this.  The man seemed clueless and neglectful, but he didn't seem like a bad guy.  This bothered me because at times I felt like I was taking from, and possibly hurting, a man I had no grudge against.  Also at times Madison would be twisted up about needing the intimacy we shared, but at the same time knowing she did love her husband.

If you would like to read about Madison and the fun we had go to the All DauntlessD page.

What happened?  Why did it end?  Well, Madison and I were a pretty big part of one another's lives and when that happens it becomes something you want to share.  Madison told her best friend who she was sure would keep her confidence.  Madison was wrong.  Her now ex-friend just needed the right situation to gossip.  Shortly after, the news of Madison's affair bubbled up to her husband.

So, listen up!  Here is a rule for those of you either in or considering an affair.  If you are worried about being caught, tell no one! I know first hand how hard this can be -- and trust me it is hard!  As you grow to care about and know this other person, you just naturally want to share things you talked about, or that funny thing that happened with your other friends.  It's tough.  Believe me.

Now let's talk about the hurt and pain.  Of course Madison's husband was angry initially, but that changed to feeling heart-wrenching hurt and betrayal.  Madison didn't want to hurt her husband in this manner and she felt tremendous guilt about that.  At the same time she loved me and didn't want to hurt me.  To make matters worse she was isolated because she had no one to go to -- her best friend had betrayed her.  The pressure cooker she was in was simply awful and the helplessness I felt made me feel just as bad.

Madison began making plans to move out of her home and leave her husband. Maybe it was the affair.  Maybe it was the fact that he finally believed he was going to lose her, but at this point Madison's husband caught a clue.  He finally in earnest began fighting to save his marriage and keep his wife.  It took nearly a month for Madison to believe it was real, but it worked.

Here is where my heartbreak begins.  The communication between myself and Madison had been severely diminished since her husband found out.  Soon after entering a grocery store my phone rings.  Standing in a health food aisle I listen as Madison tearfully explains she is going to give her husband another chance.  Of course I say the right things and I tell her I understand; but as the day wears on a weight starts settling on me.  It feels like an icy iron fist is gripping my heart and slowly squeezing.

Of course I knew this could happen -- I was seeing a married woman!  What I hadn't counted on was the suddenness.  This woman I had grown to love and have an intimate relationship with was just... gone.  The plans we already had on the calendar weren't going to happen now.

Loneliness came in like a hammer.  And as I reflected on this I realized I had set this up 8 months prior without realizing it.  You see, I began seeing Madison before I had moved my would-be ex-wife out of the house.  By seeing Madison I had inadvertently delayed the loneliness I would have felt at the end of my marriage.

I've done an enormous amount of reflecting, trying to weigh whether all of what has happened was collectively more good or more bad.  In the end I think there is more positive than negative.  The joy and intimacy Madison and I shared is something I'd hate to have missed.

Maybe it was a mistake.  Maybe I was foolish to let myself get as emotionally invested as I did.  I'm not sure.

"Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all." ~ Lord Alfred Tennyson