I'm constantly thinking of ways to grow and improve. I don't just do it January. If I only did it in January, I would really run amuck throughout the rest of the year. My non-resolutions are more like priorities, reminders, things to keep in mind to reach the goals I have in mind. But it's a continual list, rather that a once-a-year list. Throughout the year, things get added and other things drop off.
This isn't the comprehensive list, but it includes the items I'm willing to share..
- Focus more on intimacy, rather than sex. I think I can finally say that I've head enough sex in my life. Well not really, but I've reached a point where sex alone is not what I'm interested in. Don't worry. I'm not giving up sex, which would mean this blog would eventually become about knitting and cats, and no one wants that. Am I right? But sex within the context of intimacy takes things to a whole different level. "Kat, does this mean you'll never have casual sex again?" If that question even crossed your mind, your clearly don't know me.
- Follow my own rules. I'll admit it. I've become pretty sloppy about the rules over the past year, and several of you have called me out on that. What rules am I talking about? Kat's Top 10 Cheating Rules, of course. The number one rule is "Married Men Only." Strike 1. I broke that one. Another rule is Safety First and that includes everything from getting a first and last name before meeting someone, making sure someone always knows where you are, always using condoms, and a bunch of other safety-focused precautions. Strike 2. My risk taking behavior has gone way too far. Time to refocus on safety. Another rule : Communicate. Strike 3. I know you may find it hard to believe that I don't communicate well, but I do have a tendency to hold back on talking about things that upset me and I take way to long to admit out loud that a relationship isn't working for me.
- Be open to new experiences. I'm not just talking about sex here. I'm talking about new experiences of all varieties. Life is too short to get stuck in a rut.
- Be more consistent - in everything. This means keeping in touch with friends (as few as they are) consistently, rather than communicating once and then not again for months. It means posting on PWK and my other blogs (for work) regularly. It means being more consistent at home with my children and Hubby.
- Love more. Trust more. Reach out more. To be fair, I'm already pretty out there, but I tend to pull back when it counts. I trust when it really doesn't matter and become too self-protective when it does. That's not what I want. Finding and sharing love is what life's all about.
- Forgive more. Part of the reason I've held back and not trusted as much as I would like to is that I've been burned several times in the last year or two. People I've trusted and loved have chosen to just disappear from my life or pull way back without a reasonable explanation or any real excuse. In one case, it was a very good friend who got a new girlfriend and then pretty much quit speaking to me. I need to let those things go and forgive. It doesn't mean I have to open myself and trust them again, but I do need to forgive.
- Fuck more. Duh. This one is a no brainer. You didn't think I was going all celibate on you, did you? Hell no! And focusing more on intimacy, rather than sex, does not mean have less sex. I want more sex, but I definitely want more good sex....with intimacy. It's a tall order, I know, but that's what I want.
There you have it. Do you have any New Year's non-resolutions to share?
Happy New Year!