I was surprised how many of you disagreed me about Mitt Romney (see Mitt Romney Turns Me On). Okay, I can live with the fact that people can have different tastes.
That got me thinking - What would the different Presidential Candidates be like in bed?
Don't roll your eyes. You know I have an active fantasy life and, for the most part, this string of sex fantasies wasn't altogether unpleasant (except for Ron Paul; he's a "just say no" guy for me).
So, here are my thoughts on each of the candidates and what they might be like in bed.
Mitt Romney - I chuckled at Ms. I's speculation that Mitt would be the kind of guy who would cry after sex, but I disagree - and not just because he turns me on. I have met at least a dozen men like Mitt Romney - Suited up, buttoned down, straight laced, and bored to tears from being with the same woman for 30-40 years. Assuming Mitt is like these guys, even a little, he'd be very nervous for the first few minutes in the hotel room, but once he calmed down, he'd be quite the wild man, letting it all loose and willing to experiment with everything. He'd be seriously into pleasing his partner because he secretly knew that he was hot and the lack of excitement in bed he'd experienced for the last 40 years clearly was not about him.
And Mitt would be a talker in bed. Mostly, he'd talk about himself, but he'd be a talker nonetheless, which would inspire me to either convince him to "play the quiet game" or gag him, which would certainly excite him into premature ejaculation.
Sex with his wife, however, is probably boring and uninspired, but he has no idea why she sometimes falls asleep during "the act."
Rick Santorum - Rick's idea of wild sex probably consists of having sex with the light on (gasp!) on top of the covers (omg!), after neatly folding and putting aside Grandma's special quilt, of course. 'Nuff said.
Newt Gingrich - Newt is a bad, bad boy with a naughty streak. Like Mitt, he probably talks during sex, but he is all about dirty talk. Because vanilla sex is boring to him after years of playing around, I picture Newt in leather and a dog collar, begging a dominatrix to tighten that ball stretcher just a little more. He's clearly into pain and humiliation.
Ron Paul - I can imagine Ron chasing his wife around the bedroom giggling as they role play - the master of the estate and the milk maid, daddy and bad little girl, doctor and naughty nurse (wait, that one isn't role playing,is it?). It's all about the build up and foreplay for Ron, which he will drag out a long, long time even when it's clear that his partner isn't interested anymore.
Barak Obama - Barak is the kind of guy who probably checks himself out in the mirror during the act. He's very impressed with himself and he wonders if the woman he's with knows how lucky she is that he chose her to receive his magic juice. He puts much more energy into getting her into bed than he expends once he's actually there with her. It's only a matter of time before he decides that one woman can't handle all his hot-daddy-bama power and spreading the love is the only kind thing to do for the women of the nation - no, the women of the world.
To tell you the truth, none of these guys is really worth the effort, I'll stick with JJ.