Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Lobbing the PWK Bomb
Daunt here. We have a smart bunch of readers so I thought I would solicit some advice and generate a little discussion.
Recently I decided to check out a few of the more popular dating sites. I created an account using my DauntlessD persona and just tried to be playful. After week or so and sending out a few messages etc, I generally had the feeling they are all quite similar to Ashley Madison; the ratio of men to women allows women to be pretty choosy.
The whole vibe of the sites began to wear on me and one evening, when I was feeling a bit surly, I received an unsolicited message from a woman. I responded, attempted a little banter, but my heart wasn't in it. Then I began to grow irritated with some of her questions. It was clear she was used to men falling all over themselves and answering any question and providing more photos promptly. So I did something I wouldn't normally do, I sent her the link to my All DauntlessD page. In essence I was feeling a little testy and I was saying, here take this and go away. Then what happened was pretty comical.
Her: That was TMI web site Omg
Me: Well it's me. Read DauntlessD Exposed. This is a side of me I won't hide from someone I'm seeing.
Her: Wow
Me: Read The Art that is Woman. It's one of my favorites.
Her: Ok... you're scaring me
And that was that. I stopped hearing from her. She officially ran for the hills.
So, here is what I would like you all to chime in on. Upon meeting a new love interest, when should I share this blog and my writing with them? I'm very curious to hear your thoughts and especially the difference of opinion between men and women.
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9 comments:
Good question, short answer in my opinion ... never... the posts you wrote in your blog were writen when you were not with that person in your life. If they had been your post would have been different.
Their reading of your past post is similar to showing him a home made porn movie of you fucking your old lovers.
Now if that person was me, I'd want to see the movies :)
I have to agree with "H", NEVER.
What's the point? They don't need to know about it, you aren't identifying them on the blog, they can't be "tracked," so, even if you talk about them, it's really none of their business.
Yes, my more recent posts have been about times with Madison, but there is more than just sharing hot encounters. It is also a creative outlet for me. There are fantasy posts I've written too.
Dude, no. I would never sleep with a man who blogs about sex and sexual experiences (even if some is made up!). I mean, think of the pressure! I'd have to do some awesome moves for him to post about, right? Geez, way to give the ladies a complex :)
This is interesting. I thought sure someone from the other camp of thought would speak up.
The dilemma I see is if I don't share that I blog, do I give up my creative outlet or just keep it hidden. What if a relationship develops and discover it later?
Boy it sure has been tempting. But in the end you have to ask yourself am I really just doing that as a way to metaphorically say "hey look at my big dick!" For me the answer is "yes." As much as I would be temped to flaunt my blog as a way to get laid I think I don't want to get laid that way. Then again, if you've read my blog I don't get laid that often anyway so maybe my rationale is flawed. Who knows?
But the chance for things to go badly is too great. Other bloggers have fallen by linking blog-life to real-life while getting too chummy to the wrong people. Take heed.
Until this week, I would have joined the "Never" chorus. But then I got talking to a guy, and it was clear he needed to read a certain blog written by a gentleman, so he would know he wasn't alone in his urges or some kind of freak. But the moment he set eyes on that blog, he was going to see mine on the right! So I decided I'd better warn him. Nothing like listening on the phone while he clicks on "Sexy photos." Gulp.
Not clear yet if that will make him want me more or less? Would you meet up with a blogger, guys?
I think it depends on the person. I think the default answer is never, but if you do find that person that will not be shocked or think anything is wrong with it then you have found a special person. Not that the others can't be special in other ways.
Well, the prevailing winds say never.
I did receive a couple of suggestions via email:
"Never hide yourself or who you are. Don't throw it out there on the first date, but never hide it. Let it come out as the discussions come up."
The other said something similar. In summary it said wait until the third or fourth date when you've gotten to know each other a little. Then maybe it can naturally come up as you're exploring each others interests.
After all your suggestions, I'm going to keep my racy writing very much to myself and only share it if I feel very safe doing so.
Thanks all!
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