Sunday, March 13, 2011

Kat's Rules of Webcam Etiquette

A little known fact about me is that I was trained in charm school as a child and teenager.  As a result, etiquette (that means manners, for you dogs out there) is very important to me.  Maybe that's why I take good care to clean up after a BJ, licking up every last drop.  Who knows?  Anyway, etiquette matters, at least to some degree.

Unfortunately, many of you male prowlers out there don't seem to understand that very well, particularly when it comes to online communication and webcam fun, so I thought I'd take some time to school you in some of the finer points.

Here are a few basic rules - Kat's Rules of Webcam Etiquette - to help you out (most of these are aimed at men, but women will see something here for them, too):
  1. Remember that your partner is a person, too.  Unless you're paying for webcam sex, you're dealing with a regular human being (yes, I know that those who sell cam time are people, too, but they are not your average, everyday people looking for a little playtime). Don't assume that she is just going to be perfectly comfortable showing you everything just because you said you want to see it.
  2. Give as much (or more) than you get. Don't even ask for full nudity of you're not willing to show everything yourself.  That's just rude.
  3. Understand that most women are not particularly interested in cock pics.  I know.  I just destroyed your whole world, didn't I? It's not that women are not at all interested in cock pictures, but that many of us do not believe that the cock is the most intriguing part of the male body. For example, while I enjoy my honey-on-the-side's cock very, very much, a man's chest, shoulders, and strong arms are the parts that really get me going. Lemme see some of that, ok? Find out what your partner likes and give her what she wants.
  4. Don't push. There can be many reasons why she doesn't want to show you everything.  Maybe she's shy.  Maybe she's afraid of being recorded.  Maybe she's just not feeling very attractive today. maybe she enjoys stringing your doggie cock along until she's ready. It doesn't matter what her reason is, don't push it. The harder you push, the more she will resent you for it.
  5. Do not record the session. The only time it is ok to record a cam session is if you and your partner have both agreed in advance that is ok. Otherwise, do not do it! And permission to record one session does not mean it's ok to record all others.  Guys who record cam sessions on the sly are assholes.  Period. They don't deserve to get any at all. Yes, I really mean that.
  6. Don't show your face while you're doing the webcam thing. You assume that your partner is not a jerk and that he/she is not recording the session, but you don't know that for sure.  To be safe, keep your face and any other identifying features or background elements (i.e., that family photo on the wall behind you) hidden from view. Ok, I'll admit that I have not always followed this guideline.  It's really easy to get comfortable with someone and quit worrying about this, but it's in your best interest to stay vigilant.
  7. Don't just close the window if you don't like what you see or as soon as you are "done."  This is not just about you.  There is another person involved.  Remember, what goes around, comes around.  If you behave like a jerk, you will eventually be treated badly by someone else.
  8. It's perfectly ok to say "no" to the webcam invitation. Don't do anything you are not fully comfortable with (ok, I know I have a friend reading this who will be so disappointed that I ended yet another sentence with a preposition.  To her I say, "C, deal with it.  This is a sex blog, not a grammar blog." LOL). If someone is pressuring you to reveal yourself on a webcam and you don't want to, just say no. There's nothing wrong with protecting your privacy.
  9. Communication is still important. When someone asks, "Do you cam?" it could mean everything from "Do you have a webcam that we can use to see each other's faces while we engage in get-to-know-you chat?" to "Will you strip nude and masturbate on camera for me for my pleasure while I jerk off?" Do not assume that the person you are chatting with thinks about it the same way you do.  You need to communicate your intentions and desires clearly, yet politely. Nothing is quite as shocking as opening a video call window thinking you're going to chat, only to see a fully erect and ejaculating penis fill your screen. By the way guys, women don't really like to be surprised in that way.
  10. Don't lead with your dick. While everything is a bit more intense and uninhibited on the internet, there are still some similarities with the real life world that you need to heed.  For example, when you are getting physically intimate with a woman for the first time, do you just pull our your erect cock right away as the beginning of the experience?  I don't think so.  Well, if you do, you have undoubtedly not had many intimate experiences or you have (or should have) spent some time in jail for indecent exposure. No, you say hello first.  You probably take off your shirt before your pants. You speak softly and gently to set her at ease.  You compliment her. You tell her things to make her feel beautiful. If you treat her right, your dick will get all the attention it wants.  The same considerations apply to cam play.
This post has been all about etiquette.  There are many other tips I can offer about the logistics of webcam play.  I'll put those in another post shortly.

Yes, cam play can be a lot of fun.

So, Prowlers, do you cam?


Mickey said...

Enjoying your blog. Not least because you introduced some discussion around the whole tortuous decision concerning whether or not to do the adultery thing - and in particular whether or not to start the adultery thing. It's something that i could perhaps justify more than most because my wife has chronic sickness which makes a big impact on our relationship. I have a very intense online phone sex/webcam thing going with a very attractive married woman who lives a thousand kms away (ie 1-2 hours flight) and we have a lot of discussion about doing the real life thing. she's unequivocally ready and willing - and has crossed the line with other lovers - i guess i'm more concerned about crossing the line. you'd think after two years it would have resolved ...heh heh..

I'm terrified of hurting my family. Having said that....have i already crossed the line by sending rather spectacular lingerie to her PO Box and talking her through her lovely breathless climaxes. Its not perfect churchgoing behaviour is it. Your rules on webcam etiquette are probably right on.

Making Money On Cam said...

That rules are perfectly useful. Every cam model should know about these rules.