Friday, August 26, 2011

Words Matter...and It's All About Context

I've been thinking about the Counselor's use of the term "enjoy" in reference to my feelings about sex with JJ (If you don't know what I'm talking about, catch up by reading Kat's First Counseling Session), and it made me start thinking about the use of words in general.

Context is everything, isn't it?

For example, let's take the word "whore." Merriam-Webster defines a whore as a woman who performs sexual acts for money; a prostitute; also a promiscuous or immoral woman. Whether it's an insult or a compliment, however, depends entirely on the context. A wife who uses the word to describe her husband's mistress is clearly not using it as a compliment.  Cara uses the term with me when she's annoyed with me ("Shut up, you whore.") or when she's annoyed with someone else ("She was rude to me, that whore."). When she uses it with me, it doesn't feel like an insult or a compliment, but more like a term of endearment.  Huh?  I know.  It's strange.

Now when JJ whispers it to me ("Come on, whore, tell me how much you want it..." or "That's a good whore..."), it's definitely both a term of endearment and a compliment. But if he were to substitute its synonym "prostitute" for it, it would not work at all.  In fact, that would be big turn off for me.

What about the word "slut?" It's a lot like "whore," in the sense that it's both naughty and nice. Younger women use it as an insult for other young women, but it loses its power as an insult as a woman ages.  I haven't been insulted by the term for at least 25 years. Heck, I've known women in their 50's who consider it a badge of honor.  What a compliment to still be thought of as a slut at that age! No?  I guess it matters who's saying it, huh?

When JJ sends me a text that says, "I need my slut! Can you get away tomorrow afternoon?" I just melt inside. Yes, I melt.

What about other naughty words like cunt, cock, fuck, and so on? While they sound crude in polite conversation, they are the only words that work in certain contexts. I can't imagine purring "Oh yes, please have intercourse with me and put your your nice big penis in my vagina" (although I have met foreign men online who use language like that and it just makes me laugh). No, I would say," Oh yes, fuck me with your nice thick cock" (or something like that). I don't have intercourse.  I fuck.  On occasion, I make love.

This brings me to all of the possible words to describe "down there" in writing.  DauntlessD and I have discussed this more than once and it usually ends up as a rather funny conversation.  If you've read any of my naughty stories, you know I like the word cock to describe a man's penis.  Not Dauntless.  He insists that it sounds crude, so he prefers "manhood" and "member." Dang, I'm already giggling. Those terms just sound funny to me, but when he uses them in his writing, they seem to fit perfectly (pun intended).

(As I was writing this, I got an email from a blogger friend who referred to his cock as "my hard warrior." What is it when it's not hard? A peasant? An unarmed warrior? A farmer?)

And Ladies, no matter what term you use for it, never ever ever use the adjectives "cute," "little," or "darling," when referring to a man's cock.  Trust me on this.  I learned the hard way.  I should really say that I learned this lesson the "it's not hard anymore" way.

Finding the right word for a woman's private area is also difficult. There are not many choices.  Pussy (ok, but overused). Cunt (ok, a bit on the crude and rough side, but perfect sometimes). Vagina (too clinical). Labia (painfully clinical). After that, it's all about euphemisms - womanhood, flower.

Of course, the context matters.  I would never refer to it as my "pussy" or my "cunt" with my doctor. Nor would I refer to it as my "womanhood."

Sigh.

You would think that when it comes to sex, the words would matter less than the....uh.....sensations, but the words still matter.

***********

A word of advice to new prowlers - Be very careful about using these naughty words with a woman until you know exactly what turns her on. Some women still get offended by being called a slut, even in bed.

6 comments:

Cara Janes said...

Excellent post; I LOVE it! While I was reading, I had a couple of thoughts...
1. When I call you a "whore" or a "little tart", I absolutely use them as terms of endearment. It's because we're close that I can call you those things, you dirty whore.;-) But, when I call my new boss a "cunt" or a "bitch-whore", it's not so much a term of endearment and more that I hate her. Cause she's a bitch-whore-cunt and I'm fairly certain she's also trailer trash. No offense to anyone (besides her); I'm sure there are a lot of nice people who live in trailers, she's just not one of them.
2. It's HIlarious that Daunt calls his dick his "member" or "manhood". It works AND it makes me think I'm reading a Harlequin Romance. Huh, huh? Am I right?
-Cara

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

I cannot, cannot get behind the use of euphemisms to refer to my genitalia.

My flower? My fuzzy peach? Ho boy. That's a one-way ticket guaranteeing no return.

DauntlessD said...

Look at you two!! Kat you're a bad influence you even have Cara, who's as sweet as she is pretty, picking on me!

That's it, I'm writing a blog post on word aesthetics -- which is in large part why I avoid certain words.

Oh, and before I forget, I'll have you know I used the word "cock" in my toy review post. Cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock cock. So there! :P

Cara Janes said...

Oh, Daunt, I love you! :-)

H said...

I loved reading this post. I could not agree more, particularly with the words, slut and cunt.

Hell, it turns me on when a woman calls me a slut. As far as the word cunt, when it cums to fucking, I can't stand calling it anything else, womanhood, flower etc, is a turn off for me. I don't want to eat and fuck a daisy I want to fuck and eat your cunt.

Same goes for men who give their cocks nick names. Have you met sir william? Really.

Oh the not hard part, a peasant, a farmer LOL very funny.

Kat said...

Cara- I love you, you slutty whore. ;-) And by the way, Daunt has a name for his...uh...member that was not listed here. Ask him about it sometime.

Ms. I - I'm with you. I was with a guy a long time ago who referred to my juices as "nectar." Yeah, it was weird.

Daunt - Of course I'm a bad influence! Surely, you're not surprised by that? And I'll bet the number of times you wrote "cock" in your comment here is at least twice the total number of times you have written it in the rest of your life. Am I right? ;-)

H - You slut, you. ;-)