Monday, November 7, 2011

A Thought About Oral Sex...and a Former President

I was chatting online with a friend this morning who moved the conversation to oral sex.  You know how that is, right?  You're chatting about baseball and work and the guy says out of the blue, "Wanna suck my cock?  Will you swallow?"  I hate it when that happens.

Anyway, when he mentioned sucking cock and swallowing, it made me think about Monica Lewisnki and Bill Clinton. At the time it was going on, I knew something just sounded wrong about the whole thing, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Sure, it was wrong that she only gave him head and he never fucked her, but that was obvious.  Something else just didn't sound right.

Today it hit me. Monica gave Bill head and ended up with his semen on her now-famous blue dress (which was very ugly, by the'd think the President's slut would pick something a little more stylish, but whatever...). The semen on the blue dress was kind of the "smoking gun" that took the whole issue out of the realm of "he said - she said" and placed it where it belonged.  He came, she spit.

That's what was wrong.

You'd think the President of the United States would be able to find a slut who would swallow.  Don't ya think?


H said...

LOL..... I love you, this is perfectm could not have said it better myself

Red Shoes said...

One would think!!!!!



Anonymous said...

Maybe it just overflowed.

Ethan Lambert said...

In her defense, he was taking care of himself so badly that he required a quadruple bypass and two heart stents. On the one hand I would assume anyone blowing the POTUS would feel obligated to swallow just out of patriotism, but I could see a situation where she intended to but was surprised by the taste.

Sorry, I like to give the woman who performed the most historical blowjob ever the benefit of the doubt ;-)

1manview said...

You are right, you hit it right on the head. Plus if he couldn't find someone more attractive then her, why bother with one that swallows...

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

Slut? I mean, I'm okay if it's a self-identified term, but...

...a blowjob does not a slut make unless she's owning that shit.


Naughty Kitty said...

Jewish girls CAN'T swallow. It's a gag reflex thing and it's genetic ;)

Ryan Beaumont said...

That reminds me of some Chris Rocks stuff.

#1 - You are really famous when someone who gives you a blowjob becomes famous.
#2 - Guys are always thinking about sex. He may be talking with you about baseball but really he is thinking "will she give me a blowjob?"

Nicholas said...

I'm blocks away from the Clinton Library, and I'm waiting on an exhibit of the blue dress, a cigar, a mannequin of Lewinsky, etc., but they have yet to put on that display. There is a replica of the Oral Office there, and they could have demonstrations. But nobody asked me.

I wish he could run for President again. I'd give him an entire wing of the White House full of interns and let him turn our economy around.

Kat said...

Ethan - "....I would assume anyone blowing the POTUS would feel obligated to swallow just out of patriotism..." THAT was hilarious!

H and Red Shoes - I'm glad you agree. ;-)

Anonymous- hahaha...overflowed. It wouldn't do that if she'd swallow...then again...again....

1manview - My husband says that it's not the attractiveness of the woman that matters, but size of her lips.

Ms. I - I see your point. The American Heritage Dictionary defines slut as 1.
a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
b. A woman prostitute.
2. A slovenly woman; a slattern.

Collins English Dictionary defines slut as 1. a dirty slatternly woman
2. an immoral woman
3. (Life Sciences & Allied Applications / Animals) Archaic a female dog

To be fair, I can't speak to her promiscuity. I don't know enough about her. I'm pretty sure, though, that it would be widely accepted that she was behaving in an immoral fashion by engaging in sexual activity with a man she knew was married.

Is slut a term that can only be self-applied? I don't think so. I think that terms of identification that are self-evident don't have to be self applied. For example, does a compulsive gambler have to self-identify as a compusive gambler before anyone can call him/her a compulsive gambler? Doesn't the behavior speak for itself at some point?

All that said, you're right. Speaking as a slut myself, I should have been a little bit more tolerant of Monica.

Naughty Kitty - LOL Jewish girls can't swallow. Funny. :-)

Ryan - Those are excellent points! I like the first one the best.

Nicholas - If the Clinton Library added those features, I'd be there on my vacation. ;-)

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

I'm not saying that slut can't be applied by others--only that it's usually derogatory, or considered denigrating when it is. I'm just sick of women calling women sluts without the approval or consent of another women (i.e.Most sex bloggers are totally okay with being called a slut and relish it. Most vanilla gals are not).

FWIW I don't consider oral sex with a married man to be immoral behavior in any circle--public or private sector. None of the others apply to my knowledge.

Myli said...

You're right. Any real woman would swallow!