Kat Clarification - Fucking is not Dating

I was reading another blog recently that was discussing online dating. Specifically, the author was asking readers how many people they had met online and "dated." This is a pet peeve of mine, Prowlers.

Fucking is not dating. 

Let's discuss the difference.

What is dating? Because I only cite the most reliable sources, here's what Wikipedia has to say about dating:

"Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several senses, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple."

If you are connecting with someone at a hotel, getting a room, fucking yourselves silly, and then going back to work (or home), you're not engaging in a social activity in public as a "couple."  In fact, you probably go to some lengths to make it look like you are not arriving or leaving as a couple, right?

And you're probably not checking out each other's suitability as a partner or spouse.  That's what all of that scintillating email and chat was about.  By the time you're in the hotel room, you've already decided that your date fuck buddy is suitable acceptable not too bad, and you're in, so to speak.

As for their suitability as a spouse, if you're prowling you already have a spouse and you're probably looking for playmates who are not suitable to marry because they are already married or they are forbidden in some other way.  For example, bad boy who spends hours every day at the gym because he doesn't have a job and who drives up on a motorcycle might be perfect as a fuck buddy. He's hot (good fuck buddy trait), but he doesn't work (bad husband trait). He rides a motorcycle (potentially good fuck buddy trait - purrrr.....does anything scream "bad boy" better than that?...but wait, that's also a lousy husband trait. Uh....that's no family car....).

But can you date the same person who is also a fuck buddy? I'm glad you asked, grasshopper.  Excellent question.

When I meet a fuck buddy in a hotel, that's not a date.  But when I meet the very same honey out in public for lunch or coffee, it may or may not be a date.  What distinguishes the two?  Simple.  1) Is it in public? 2) Is there a purpose for meeting other than leading up to a roll in the hay? If both answers are yes, it could be a date IF you want it to be.

Let's complicate it further.  Is it a date if you're not fucking  and not planning to and both 1 and 2, above, are "yes?" No, that's meeting a friend. Now I'm wondering how intelligent people people with opposable thumbs can make this so complicated.

Here's an example. When I meet DauntlessD for lunch, it's not a date, either. Yes, it's in public and yes there is a purpose other than getting each other in bed.  Still, I have a heck of a time convincing Hubby that Daunt and I are not dating.  Here's how the last conversation on the topic went with Hubby:

Hubby: So, who pays?  Does he pay for your lunch or do you pay for his?

Kat: We each pay for our own.

Hubby:  So you go dutch?

Kat: You make it sound like a date, but it's not.  When you go out with Fred and you each pay for your own, do you call it "going dutch?"

Hubby:  No, but we're both guys.

Kat:  Oh wait.  He did pay for me once when I won a bet and he had to buy me fish tacos.

Hubby: Oh, so he does pay....

Kat: NO!

Hubby:  Ok, well who decides when you're going out?

Kat:  Whoever's hungriest? (I chuckle.  Hubby doesn't laugh.) It can be either one of us.  It doesn't really matter, and I've never really noticed.

Hubby:  Do you kiss him goodbye after?

Kat: No.

Hubby: Do you hug him?

Kat: Yes.

Hubby:  So you rub up against him.

Kat: Only if I'm really horny. (I laugh.  Hubby doesn't.)  Oh, come on now! I told you we're not dating.  We're not a couple.

Hubby:  What are you then?

Kat: Friends.  Friends having lunch.

Hubby: Huh.

And it's over until the next inquisition.

Here's the really important question - Why does this matter?

Dating comes with all sorts of expectations and societal norms. If someone dates you a couple of times and doesn't want to see you again, you get to deal with the angst of figuring out if there was something wrong with you.  Why did he dump me? Did I say something wrong? Am I not pretty enough, smart enough, good enough?

Since Prowlers are not shopping for spouses, who cares?  Who needs all that?

If you can just understand that fucking is not dating, you can release all of those issues and appreciate it for what it is - a sexual encounter, or a series of sexual encounters. It's pleasure and excitement and danger and fun. It could end tomorrow for any of about a hundred different reasons, but most of those are not worth worrying about.

Now, I don't think there is such a thing as a relationship that has no strings (and I don't consider a one night stand to be a relationship), but there's string, there's twine, there's rope, and there are various types of metal chains. What I'm saying is that those of us in the relationship should get to decide what it means and how much attachment there is, not an arbitrary standard associated with "dating."

So, are we clear?

Fucking is not dating.....

.....unless you fall in love.

Then it becomes something else entirely.

DauntlessD Exposed

I just looked back at my very first post, Nice Guys are *NOT* Attractive, and discovered it was posted back in January. It's funny thinking about that first post. It took Kat quite a bit of urging to get me write something, anything. During this span of time I avoided exposing my personal life.

This was for two reasons. First, I have an unusually strong bent in regard to privacy. Even with the anonymity of the blog I felt uncomfortable. This post is about getting past that. Second, I just didn't feel you would enjoy reading about my rather mundane life. Yes my marriage is crumbling so I have the same type of strife as Kat and many others, but outside of participating as co-author on this blog I have not been engaged in any activity that could be considered saucy or controversial; trust me, you would have yawned.

Maybe I'll learn I'm wrong, but Kat has an amazing ability I don't think I have. Even while writing about the rather ordinary struggles with her husband and life, she is able to pull out and highlight some insights and thoughts that make for a fun read. I think my writing on my real world struggles would have simply sounded like whining.

So what's up Daunt, why do you suddenly want to share now?

Here comes the exposure part. My life has suddenly gone from a sickly simmer, to an outright cantankerous boil of change. My marriage is ending and I am moving my wife to the east coast. So with that I have a hunch I'm going to have quite a lot to write about in the near future as I embrace this and face new struggles. AND I have something a bit saucy to share! (Bet you didn't see that coming did you?)

Time to bring up you to speed. I'll try and be brief.

Roughly last October I hit a strange crossroads in my life that rose up in me suddenly and compelled me to make a change. Initially I thought it was a mid-life thing. The thought of an affair at the time appealed to me so I set out to make one happen. I signed into Ashley Madison and went to work. I met a number of women, but for some odd reason something in me just didn't want to pull the trigger so to speak; PWK readers paying attention may have noticed me alluding to this in our 200th post. However, one beautiful thing did come out of this time, I met Kat; read Prowling Friendships, for a bit more insight.

After meeting Kat, something strange happened. As my friendship with her grew, that weird feeling I was having that drove me to Ashley Madison shrunk. Now in retrospect I can finally put a word to that feeling: loneliness. I had never really felt it like that before so I didn't know what it was. However my marriage was gasping and I had roughly a year prior helped my closest friend move out of state. So it makes sense. I was just... lonely.

Oh Daaaauuunnt. DauntlessD, you said you had something saucy for us where is it?

Ah, yes. Well in that phase of meeting women through Ashley Madison, there was one other than Kat that perked my interest. Madison. With this woman I felt that... chemistry... It's the feeling that comes out in Kat's naughty posts. You can almost envision a lioness patiently stalking, then with zest, power and strength the prey is brought down in the blink of an eye. That vibe that causes Kat to POUNCE. That heart pounding sexual energy that causes DauntlessD to... be insufferably nice -- for 7 whole freakin' months!

And with that intro, meet Madison.

To be continued...

(and yes, the saucy part is coming...)

Reflections on 9/11

PWK is probably a strange place to find a piece about 9/11,  but it was such a significant event in the lives of so many people around the world, that I couldn't let it go by without a respectful mention.

Like many others, I was at home watching it unfold live on the news. At the time I was speechless.  I couldn't make sense of what was happening. Ten years later, it's still hard to make sense of something so tragic, so devastating, but some feelings have bubbled up for me that I can share with you.

Sadness - Almost 3,000 people died in the terrorist attack ten years ago today. Several hundred of those were police officers and firefighters. More than 3,000 children lost parents.Over 1,600 people lost a spouse. It's estimated that 20% of the U.S. population was touched directly by the tragedy. The sadness and loss is immeasurable. Sadness is the first emotion that hits me, but it doesn't stay long.  It's quickly replaced with....

Gratitude - I can't think about 9/11 without feeling grateful - grateful for my family, my home, my freedoms, the police and fire professionals who keep us safe, my community, my friends.  The list goes on and on. There are many countries, including those of the 9/11 terrorists, in which PWK would be illegal and the penalty for writing about and doing what we write about and do here is death. In many of those same countries, the penalty for a woman having sex with a man who is not her husband (by choice or by rape) is also death. I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am to live in a place where I can express myself freely, without fear of arrest.

Confusion - But sometimes I am still confused.  How does a dislike or hatred for the way of life of an entire people justify killing them? On another level, how does dislike or disagreement with an individual's lifestyle justify hatred and abuse? In the freest country on the planet (ok, ok....one of the freest countries on the planet), why do so many people choose to use that freedom to disparage and abuse others? 

Resolve - Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."  Leo Tolstoy said.  "Everyone thinks about changing the world, but no one thinks about changing himself."

Clearly, I can't change everyone.  In fact, I really can't change anyone but myself, but I can change myself. Rather than bemoan intolerance, I can practice tolerance.  We do that in our own teeny tiny way here at PWK, too.  When a hater posts, instead of responding in kind or banning them, we thank them for their comment, welcome them, and encourage their participation. That doesn't happen by accident.  It happens because a small group of people choose not to respond to hate and anger with hate and anger.

It would be easy to make a cheap joke right now about how we prowlers love to "love" as many as we can, but that's not the point.  The point is treating others with dignity and respect whether you love them or agree with them or not. I can resolve not to be the hater who lets their hatred and intolerance get so out of hand that they lash out and kill others.  It's apropos that the 9/11 terrorists killed themselves in the attacks on that day because that is exactly what hatred does to a person - it kills you, destroying you silently from the inside out as you act to hurt others.

As I reflect on 9/11, that's what I think about. I let the sadness of the loss wash over me quickly, then I focus on the gratitude. And that leads me to be resolved to "be the change I want to see in the world."

A lot of people died 10 years ago for me to learn and internalize this lesson. I owe it to them not to forget.  We all do.

W can resolve to make a change in our small corners of the world, and then watch the ripples.

"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples." -Mother Teresa

8 Things that Surprised Me This Week

This week has been full of surprises for me.  It has also been an emotional roller coaster. I hate the roller coaster, but I love the surprises.  Here are a few (in no particular order):

1. I was up and out of the house before dawn every day this past week, which means I got to see the sunrise every day.  That was both a surprise and a treat.
2. Riff posted again.  That's twice in the last two months! Woohoo! In all seriousness, it's nice to have something new from him to read on Ashley and Me.
3. Cara referred to children as "fuck trophies" in a comment on Left Turn at Albuquerque. I know, I'm still shocked.
4. I actually stood up to one of my most difficult clients and didn't lose the contract. That was, indeed, a surprise.
5. My therapist suggested a separation from my husband. Wow. That was unexpected.
6. I cried over something I thought I was over a long time ago. I'm not a crier.  I hate it when that happens.
7. Single guy contacted me....not once, but twice! If you read Play Time on the Road with Single Guy, you know that is not his typical practice, but I liked it. :-)
8. JJ gave me permission to post a photo of his manhood (See, Daunt?  I don't always have to say cock.).  Well, it's not just a photo of his manhood.  My hand is in the photo, too, stroking him. So now when you read one of those posts where I wrote about his gorgeous, thick ....you know.....you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. You'll see the photo soon.

I can't wait to see what surprises the new week brings!

******************

If you're in the mood for some naughty, try these posts:

TSA Foreplay at the Airport

Starbucks with Cream

Raunchy Hotel Sex

Teaching a Young One

And if those aren't enough for you, go to our Sex, Sex, Only Sex page for a page full of links to naughty sex posts.

Need some visuals? Visit the HNT Photos page.

Saturday Serial - Searching

Last week's episode can be found here, Surprises. To start at the beginning go here, Morning Heartache.

As mentioned earlier Saturday Serial is a bit of an experiment where I draw on events within my own life and blend them into a fictional ongoing story. Enjoy.

--DauntlessD
_________

Danny wakes up and finds his mind lingering on Becka. There are few things in his life that make him feel happy. To be honest, he's been downright depressed for some time. Looking back on his life nothing seems to have gone as he had envisioned. Today there is very little of his life that he could call his own. Meeting Becka had brought a strange collection of sensations -- he had enjoyed himself and was surprised that he had nearly forgotten what that felt like.

Looking around Danny finds nothing has changed within his tiny room in the small, run down, two bedroom duplex. Turning in his bed he puts his feet on the floor reaching for the ceiling in a morning stretch. His wife rolls over and pulls up the blanket.

With a pop of joints he stands and begins to shuffle toward the bathroom. Upon reaching the doorway he turns and looks down at his wife. Most would consider him a lucky man, she's beautiful. Her long auburn hair is tousled with sleep framing her peaceful face. The sheer tank-top she's wearing barely covers her full breasts. He could see the shadow of her large nipples; she had always been self conscience about them and he thought they had been put on her for his mouth alone.

For a brief moment a smile flickers across his lips when entertaining the thought of ripping the blanket off and taking her. The intimacies of times long gone flash through his mind. The smile dies as quickly as it came, replaced with a darkened face and a furrowed brow. What happened? Why had their life together become so strained?

With a sigh he continues toward the bathroom stepping around the 4 foot diameter, and nearly as high, pile of dirty cloths on the floor. Then he steps in front the toilet and releases the morning urgency that drove him there.

His mood lifts a little with a hot shower. After getting dressed he makes his way to the kitchen. The table is full of clutter and looking over at the sink he finds it piled high with dirty dishes caked with food. The dreariness returns and he finds himself struck that there seems to be very little they take pride in anymore.

Danny opens a cupboard and pulls out a bag of discount breakfast cereal. Pouring himself a bowl he munches standing next to the counter in sullen silence. Shaking his head he adds the dirty dish to the already growing pile.

Grabbing the car keys he heads back to the bedroom to tell his wife he's leaving. He kneels down and kisses her. Rachel's green eyes flutter open full of sleep. "I'm off to work. I love you."

"I love you too", she replies.

I love you. The words feel hollow. He questions whether he means them anymore. It simply had become a part of their established routine of getting from day to day.

Stepping out the front door Becka comes to mind again. It was Saturday. Along with Becka he had also secretly met another group of people online and they were getting together tonight. Could he feel happy again? He wasn't sure, but he decided that maybe new friends could help him find out.

Friday Fantasy - A Florida Keys Tale (A Guest Post by Ryan Beaumont)

Billy Crystal was mostly correct in that movie when he said men and women can never really be friends.  It’s hard and typically the guy is at least thinking about sex but sometimes when the girl is really cool and makes sure that friendship is the only thing on the menu it can be good.  And so it was with Meredith and me.  She was a fraternity little sister, a co-worker, and just and all around friend.

Of course, what can help that old male/female platonic friendship is a good looking female roommate!  But let me set the stage a bit first.

Meredith, as I said, was a fun person to be around.  The only thing more fun than being with Meredith was being around her and her 2 best friends and roommates Maggie and Melinda (yep 3 M’s).  They had another roommate Julia but she was not around as much.  She was even better looking than Meredith but I really never got to know her that well early on.

One spring break my 3 M’s were going down to the Florida Keys.  Meredith asked me if I wanted to go.  I think they needed a Sugar Daddy/chaperone.  I guess I would be the muscle and provide needed cash flow.  Although I was still in school I had a great job that made very good tips.  Bringing down $20K/year doesn’t sound like much now but back then and in school that was some serious cash.  And if this was what it meant to be taken advantage of then I surely didn’t mind.  And oh btw – Julia was going as well.

What I found out also is that I was designated driver for much of that overnight 18 hour haul down to Sugarloaf Key.  But that was OK, Julia ended up sitting shot gun for a lot of the way and I found we had a lot in common and we started to connect.

Once we got to the Keys we checked into our camp site.  Yes, camping with 4 women, I think I forgot to say that!  I can’t stand to be sedentary so the first thing on my to-do list was to go on a short run.  I ran down a road heading east from the camp site and away from RT 1.  About a mile down the road I came upon a washed out bridge.  I didn’t think much of it and decided to turn back to catch up to my girls.

That night we had a great time at Margaritaville, Sloppy Joe’s and several other places.  Julia turned out to be pretty enchanting after a few drinks.  For the first time I saw this wild, untamed, adventurous, yet alluring soul behind those pretty blue eyes and wavy blonde hair.

She and I bought a bottle of George de Boeuf Beaujolais Village on the way home.  There was a boat dock near the camp site and we polished off that bottle while stowing away on one of those nice boats.  It was exquisite; my arm around a beautiful girl and looking up at the stars with a warm breeze in our face.  And yes her lips were sweet with the flavor of the wine and her body was soft and moved approvingly to my caresses. Unfortunately, the 3 M’s found us and wanted us to join the party so I had to push pause on this little fantasy for now.

The next afternoon I suggested a walk with Julia.  She was A OK with it and we ventured down that little road bearing to the east.  Julia was gorgeous.  Her wavy bleach blond hair was pulled back with a scrunchie and her blue eyes were striking against the canvass of a thin white cotton tank top and tight faded and torn blue jean shorts.

This time at the bridge I decided to venture forward.  We waded across the little creek (just about 20 yards) to the other side and continued our walk.  The road was very secluded and eventually ended at a thick cluster of brush and trees with the water’s edge of Sugarloaf Sound just visible.

Julia shouted out “awesome, we’re in there” and sprinted forward toward the water, I loved her enthusiasm.  I was close behind.  Julia ran straight up to her knees into the water.  I walked up to her side.

I said, “I wish I had brought my suit, this looks like a great place to swim.”

Julia then turned and walked back to the beach.   I did a double take when she started pulling off her tank top as she walked away from me, revealing her naked back.  Just past the water she bent over and pulled off her tight jean shorts dropping them next to the tank top beside her and revealing long sleek legs running up to her gorgeous round and tight ass.

She turned to me a stated with a sly smile “we’re skinny dipping!”

She confidently pranced right past me and out deeper into the water.  Just past me she turned slightly and said “if you don’t join me I’m leaving right now!”

I swallowed hard and then walked back to the beach and took off my clothes.  I was a little embarrassed because my cock was fully extended.  I walked briskly into the water hoping to get waist deep ASAP.  I looked up and Julia was looking at me like a lioness eyeing an Antelope.

She swam out ahead of me but I caught her.   She splashed at me in a feigned attempt to escape but I didn’t let her.  I had been a lifeguard and I was thinking some of those rescue moves might be very sexy now.

We were about 20 yards out now.  I could still stand but she could not.  She put her arms around my shoulders and wrapped her legs around my waist.  I could feel the outline of her body around my waist and against my cock.

She kissed me hard forcing her tongue into my mouth.  We kissed deeply.

But then I heard the rumbling sound of a plane overhead.  It was one of those ad planes that fly low down the beach advertising towels and boogie boards, etc.

Julia laughed; I got the idea that she would have no problem fucking me right there with the whole world to see.  But, she was a nice girl and I think she realized that I was a bit shy so she nodded when I said “maybe we should get into some cover.”

So I carried her back to shore with her body draped around mine, my dick almost rubbing itself into her by water’s edge.  I set her down and we both shuffled over to the trees.  She turned and we kissed for what seemed an eternity.  I started kissing my way down her body; across her breasts and then down to her pussy.  I worked my tongue over her clit and into her.  Her left leg was over my shoulder and supported by my forearm.  I moved my left hand up the back of her leg and settled onto her soft behind.  I heard her sigh.  I looked up briefly; she was leaning against the tree that hid us from view, back arched and hands rubbing her breasts.

This was wonderful but I was aching to be inside of her.  I stood up and kissed her some more.  I moved my cock between her legs; she was so wet I could easily be in her quickly.

I whispered to her “I wish we had a towel; it’s a bit sandy here.”

Julia looked up and right into my eyes and said “we don’t need a towel babe.”

She slowly rotated around and started grinding her ass into me.  I gasped as I looked down on her warm wet body in front of me. 

I lowered myself onto my knees.  Julia’s ass was right in front of me now as she swayed back and forth.

I slid my hands around her bottom and over to her pussy and then up to her breasts.  I pulled her down to me.  She was now on her knees in front of me her back to my chest.  She tilted her head back exposing her long and lovely neck as if to invite me to a feast.  I did and our tongues probed one another as I grabbed her breasts tight.   I gave her a slight bite on the shoulder and neck and she squealed gently. I then leaned back slightly moving my hands to her shoulders.   I slowly guided her shoulders forward until she was on all fours in front of me.  My hands slipped from her shoulders, down her spine, and to her hips.  As I caressed her hips I pushed my cock into her.

She gasped out “yessss, owwww yesssss yessssss.”

The sensation was intoxicating.  Feeling my cock inside her was wonderful but what sent me over the edge was the feeling of her soft body pressing rhythmically against my pelvis and the inside of those lithe legs against my thighs.

I would love to say this lasted for a long time.  But soon I felt the pulsation followed by the wetness of Julia’s organism.  Her sighs and the site of her ass jiggling at my thrust quickly brought out an orgasm so hard that the tingling in all my extremities hurt.  It was like that big plunge down the hill on a roller coaster.

We both gasped and fell forward in a heap of wet post sex flesh.

--Ryan Beaumont

The Best Little Half Pill in My World - A Guest Post by SomewhereMan

I called the CVS on Friday, freaking out.

"Yeah, er...um...I had a prescription for Levitra a few months back.  Is it still there?"

After some rustling of papers, I hear the pharmacist say, "yes, we can fill it for up to 12 months."

I sigh in relief.  This may be my last shot at saving Debbie.

"I'll take 3 of the 10mg pills."

"That'll be $62.47.  See you in an hour."

All because I had "fizzled out" with the most beautiful woman I've ever been able to get naked in my 35+ years on the planet.  Two days before, Debbie and I had three hours in a hotel room.  Sure, she came multiple times, thanks to my tongue and hands but, as I was so damn nervous, I couldn't get "hard enough" for what she really wanted.

"I want you inside of me," she begged that day.

Crap!  This again?!?  Back in June, my incident with "Charlotte" (for the dear readers of the blog I destroyed five weeks ago) led to my blogging in the first place.  A "dead dick" pained me greatly.  I lost Charlotte forever because I was too nervous.

And now I was losing Debbie.  She no longer texted me with the words "sexy" or "miss you" or "I want to be with you right now".  Since Wednesday, it had been more on a "friend" level.  I would write something sexual to her and get a "friendly" response...not the "wish I could suck your whole shaft and swallow your cum while looking into your eyes".

She told me that I was more than just a hard cock to her.  She was "into me" for the whole person I was...
only, with my Limp Bizkit on Wednesday, we both knew that wasn't 100% true.

Thus, Friday night, I picked up the Levitra...desperate to "Save Debbie".

*****

While reading over the side effects, I decided for a "self test" on Saturday night.  Wife was asleep.  Kids were long since out. 

I'm on the couch downstairs, watching college football.  (Hey, college football stimulates me, especially when the team I am backing is covering the spread).  I break off a 10mg pill in half for my suggested 5mg dose.

Wait twenty minutes. 

Start touching myself.

I had a missile for a cock within 4 or 5 minutes. 

Without touching it, the "Cock Missile" stayed...full-size... "18 years old with no dick control" (thanks, Eddie Murphy) size. 

Ah, what the hell, I thought, stroking it before hitting a climax during the Colorado-Hawai'i game. 

Best part?  The missile stayed hard... after the climax.

For 14 hours from when I swallowed the "half pill", I had four rock-solid erections.  Of course, my wife - who has no idea about the Levitra - wanted no part of me.

I was ready for Debbie.

I had texted her on Saturday, telling her I had a "surprise" for her and that I thought we would both enjoy it.  We set a date... Wednesday morning.  My house.  I told her I'd need an hour for her to experience it.

On Tuesday, I decided to go shop for this "surprise".  Found a sexy babydoll nightie for her.  That would be her "surprise"...before, hopefully, I'd have a real surprise.

Then a shocking text nearly gave me a heart attack.

"Hey!" Debbie writes.  "I've come some time right now (Tuesday morning).  Can I come over for my present?  Say...30 minutes?"

Holy crap.

I walk out to the secret hiding space where I keep my "now" 2 1/2 Levitra pills.  (empty plastic bag, unmarked). 

After I confirm that I'll see her in a half hour, I gulp down a 5mg half-tablet.  I debate whether to do the full 10.  Nope...stick with the 5.

I know that...as I am in the shower, doing a scrub down, that -- if I'm not hard and "ready for sex", she'll dump me before the afternoon.

THAT is pressure.

I drive to pick up her favorite coffee (that is my trademark whenever we meet -- I hate coffee but she loves it when I listen and pay attention).  All the way, I'm terrified.  Terrified of a Charlotte Redux.  The disappointment of a cock that won't stir, no matter how turned on I am.

Also...there's this.

I never mentioned that I already jerked off two hours before.  Ugh.  That's right.  I "rotated the crops", thinking of Debbie and our scheduled encounter for Wednesday.

Damn.

We meet at our assigned "business park" location as she pulls her ride next to mine. 

Author's Note:  This is another tricky element as I am breaking SO many of Kat's rules here.  Debbie & I go to the same church.  We live in the same neighborhood and, oh yeah, our kids know each other and, yes, we often give each other incredible climaxes in our basements.  At least the church "thing" has been worked out -- it's a megachurch and I go in the right entrance, she goes in the left.  I've "nodded" at her husband before in passing...

In the minutes before she pulls up, I do a "self-test".  I touch my cock to see if the Levitra is kicking in.  A little bit -- not on size but on sensation.  Something is happening in there -- it's not "growing" but it is feeling more sensitive.  Sigh... this is it.

As always, Debbie looks amazing.  White summer dress.  Black top, low-cut in front and sleeveless.  Form fitting.  Her hair is blonde, her skin is bronze from the summer sun.  Debbie is 42 but has a six-pack of abs from working out every single day.

I have no business being with this woman.

Here is why I am also so skittish.  We've been "dating" for two months.  She's dumped me six times -- often out of guilt and ALWAYS by email.  Each morning, when I wake up, I check my email before I check the texts...  If I get an email from her with "no subject"... then I'm getting dumped.  Yet, each time, within 48 hours, she texts me that she misses me...

And the cycle continues.

Yet on this day, Debbie hops into my car, with her awesome smile.  I hand her the deluxe coffee and off we drive.  Three blocks later, we're at my house as I open the garage, closing it immediately after we pull in.

I'm not sure what will happen.  I'm sensing that I am not going to get dumped right "here and now".  She walks inside and I start kissing her.  I can tell from her kiss that, no, I may be dropped tomorrow or by the weekend but...not today.

I walk over to the computer and play Chicago's "Hard Habit to Break", our inside joke of her dumping me about every 10 days.

As I return to kiss her, I'm rock hard. 

Thank you, Levitra.

I deviate from our usual pattern -- of me going down on her for her first climax before I start worrying about myself.  I have the Cock Missile on this fine day.

She reaches down.

"Whoa!" she says.  "Let's take advantage of this!"

Within thirty seconds, our clothes are off... the Trojan is on...and "we're off".

I put her on "all fours" and enter from behind.  I glide into her wet walls... savoring the first thrust...shocked that I'm even here - with a hard, full-size (and even wide) cock.  Not sure the last time I was *this* hard.

As she bucks, swirling her sexy, size 4 hips over my lucky and throbbing cock, I feel a weird sense of calm overtake me.  This is the man I used to be...back when I was a "boy", really...a college kid who would go to sleep six nights a week by having mind-blowing sex with my "law school girlfriend".  EVERY night, I'd go out drinking...and every night...she'd be studying and stressing...and then we'd release it all in her apartment.

This hour with Debbie had the same feeling - the same pawing of joy, of sex, of being close.

Yet I had to temper myself, even as I watched and felt her climax three minutes into me fucking her from behind. 

I wanted to tell this woman everything I felt about her...but I couldn't.  I didn't want to scare her.  She had mentioned, last week, a fear of feelings for me seeping in.  We had "agreed" a month before... no intercourse, no feelings, no strings attached.

Yeah... like we could stick to that.

I had never felt as close to a woman as I did today.. thank you, Levitra. :)

After her peak, I slid off to my side, spooning her, with my still hard cock pumping inside of her.  This went on for another ten minutes of pumping and fucking... then I had her go on top to ride me.

I watched her tan, beautiful body ride my "still hard" cock.  The joy pulsating throughout her body as I guided her to a second climax... with the thumb-on-clit, cock-in-pussy lunch combo.

Then as she collapsed onto me, her blonde hair tickling my cheek, that was the time to look into her eyes and say, "I love you, Debbie"... but I didn't.

I couldn't scare her.  No matter how much I wanted to say it.  :)

All in all, the Levitra-laden cock made it 27 minutes before I finally pulled out for good and she took my "somewhat hard" little guy for a wide blowjob ride before I fired burst...after burst...after burst all over the back of her mouth.

How did I know 27 minutes?  Seven songs on the playlist :)  27 minutes.

One more time, everybody.... "Thank You, Levitra."

As we lay in each other's arms, once I was all cleaned up, we talked a little about the rest of our day.  My index finger dancing about her bare, tan mound where she was all "waxed". 

With a final kiss, she said, "I've got ten minutes before I have to go."

I kissed her again.

"Stay here," I commanded as I opened up her legs.  "You're leaving here with a smile."

And my tongue slid along her clit and inside her pussy lips as I fired up her engine for a final trip to Satisfactiontown.

As I drove her back to her car, we held hands but still lacked the closeness we had enjoyed two weeks before.

Maybe she's getting scared at what's happening between us.  I know I am a little bit as well.

I would move up my "date of escape" to try and make it work with Debbie.  I am that "into her".

In the five hours from when we said goodbye to when I wrote this note, her texts have fallen off.  Very "clinical".  Very much a friend.

Sure, I'll probably get dumped soon...again.

However, I'm fine with it.  At least, unlike Charlotte, it won't be because I had a Limp Bizkit... that's for damn sure.

- SomewhereMan