Thursday, March 31, 2011
HNT - Welcoming Spring
This is my first contribution to HNT (Half Naked Thursday). It's not perfect, but it is me...and my own little greeting for spring.
Prowling Friendships
My previous blog posts were requested by Kat, but now it is time for me to take the training wheels off and post something on my own.
Roughly six months ago I began reflecting on my life and discovered I was bored; just flat tired of the drudgery of the same old routine. Also due to some of life's curve-balls I was discontent and more socially isolated than I liked. Quietly I began looking for some relief to these problems and found Ashley Madison.
On the outset sex seemed to be the primary objective; that is what Ashley Madison is for right? In the end, Ashley Madison gave me something completely unexpected.
So how did I come to be Prowling with Kat? Well that story in and of it self is rather typical, married boy creates account on Ashley Madison and meets married girl. What is not typical, the part that is truly unique, is the relationship that has grown between me and Kat. We have become fast friends, partners in crime, and confidants. Our differences are as striking as the ways we compliment, support and encourage one another.
Our assumption has been that spawning a friendship like ours from Ashley Madison is rare, but maybe we are wrong. What do you think? Anyone out there have a similar story?
Roughly six months ago I began reflecting on my life and discovered I was bored; just flat tired of the drudgery of the same old routine. Also due to some of life's curve-balls I was discontent and more socially isolated than I liked. Quietly I began looking for some relief to these problems and found Ashley Madison.
On the outset sex seemed to be the primary objective; that is what Ashley Madison is for right? In the end, Ashley Madison gave me something completely unexpected.
So how did I come to be Prowling with Kat? Well that story in and of it self is rather typical, married boy creates account on Ashley Madison and meets married girl. What is not typical, the part that is truly unique, is the relationship that has grown between me and Kat. We have become fast friends, partners in crime, and confidants. Our differences are as striking as the ways we compliment, support and encourage one another.
Our assumption has been that spawning a friendship like ours from Ashley Madison is rare, but maybe we are wrong. What do you think? Anyone out there have a similar story?
Cyber Sex Challenges
I was reading through my list of favorite blogs this morning, and I came across a great post by Liam in The Accidental Philanderer. His post, Someone Who Can Teach Me, provides a great (and hilarious!) example of the challenges of writing about sex. You must (yes, I said must) read it.
It's not as easy as many people think. Seriously. And it's definitely harder than having sex.
Here are my biggest sex-related writing challenges:
By the way, I am completely open to your help with my challenges. If you have any good words or ideas for naming genitalia or other body parts, feel free to share them.
It's not as easy as many people think. Seriously. And it's definitely harder than having sex.
Here are my biggest sex-related writing challenges:
- Naming the female genitalia. How many words are there for pussy, really? Pussy. Cunt. Womanhood. Nether regions. And there are times when none of those is right. Then you have all the gross ones that guys like to banter about, but they are usually not words I would ever say, let alone write.
- Naming other body parts. Breasts. Tits. Boobs. Girlie bumps. Girls. (sigh) This is going downhill fast, isn't it? And what about balls? How many acceptable words or phrases are there for scrotum? I know the mark of a good writer can often be found in describing, rather than naming, but a written description of balls is just unappealing no matter you write it.
- Not sounding corny. Yeah, sometimes I just can't help it and I'll slip into romance novel mode. There's nothing necessarily wrong with romance novel mode, of course, assuming you're writing a romance novel, but I think a sex blog should be a little more honest, a little more raw. And a cyber sex session should definitely be hotter than a romance novel.
- Avoiding adjective diarrhea. In an effort to be descriptive, it's easy to just string together adjectives (hot, dripping, gooey, hungry cunt). That's just lazy, and annoying. I try never to string together more than two adjectives when a more detailed description can be even better.
- Describing orgasm. There are lots of ways I've chosen to describe orgasm, and I've seen it described in lots of ways, but they almost all fall short.
- Don't be afraid to talk/write dirty. That's pretty much the point, ya know.
- Imagine; then describe. Think about what you actually would do in a particular situation and then write about it descriptively. It will come across more realistically that way. Of course, if what you think you would really do is gag and throw up, you may want to use your imagination and make something up instead.
- Master one handed typing. Uh.....I think you know what this one is about. It really sucks to be in a cyber sex conversation with someone only to have them go silent when things start getting interesting. If you are playing with someone who can't type with one hand (face it, some of your guys can barely type with two hands), try taking turns doing the "talking" while the other one plays after it gets going. Another alternative is to use voice recognition software, like Dragon NaturallySpeaking Home, Version 11
. Then you can talk, instead of type, and play with two hands (which comes in very handy for the ladies). Of course, this assumes you are some place where you can speak freely. Since most of you dogs out there cyber late at night while wifey is asleep in the other room, this may not work for you.
- Use short, simple sentences and the active voice. You don't have to make it fancy. Just be direct.
- Use the first person singular for yourself (I, me) and the second person (you) for your partner. I just think it's more intimate this way. Some people like using third person (he, she, it), but that feels impersonal to me, almost like voyeurism rather than being an active participant.
- Remember that it's not all about you. Just like real sex, there's another person involved who is looking for something, too. Don't be a jerk. Think about what your partner wants.
By the way, I am completely open to your help with my challenges. If you have any good words or ideas for naming genitalia or other body parts, feel free to share them.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Young One on Fire - A Naughty Encounter with a Fireman
Those of you who have been reading Prowling with Kat for a while know that I'm typically not into the young guys. It's not that they are not adorable, but I just can't fuck anyone who looks about the same age as my son or one of his friends. That said, you also are aware that I have broken that rule a few times (read Teaching a Young One for one of those young guy stories). I was chatting with someone recently about killer blow jobs and it reminded me about one of my favorite young ones. When I couldn't stop thinking of the story until I had to..uh...you know...I decided I should share it with you, too.
When I met L, I was in my mid-40s and he was 33, much younger than my typical preference for men between 40 and 60. By the way, that has been my preference since I was 20. Go figure. I like a man who knows what he's doing, what he wants, and who knows his way around a woman's body. Can you blame me? Anyway.....
L was a fire fighter. Yes, even his youth could not get me beyond my fantasies of fucking a hot fireman. Doesn't every woman have that fantasy at some point in her life?
When L and I started chatting (yes, on Ashley Madison), I didn't think it would go anywhere. He was very cute, but the age thing was a little strange for me. Still, we continued to chat anyway. Over a couple of months, we'd chat or text occasionally - always talking about getting together, but never quite making it happen. Frankly, it was hard for me to tell if he was nervous, if he didn't really want to cheat on his wife, or if he just didn't know how to "close the deal," so to speak, so one afternoon I decided to take the bull by the horns and either make it happen or let it go.
(You should know that I'm really trying to resist all the hokey fire and fireman metaphors. I could have said, "...I decided to grab the fireman by the hose," but I didn't. I'll leave all of that for you to have fun with in the comments.)
I got a text from him that simply said, "Hi." I replied asking him where he was and what he was doing. Then I wrote that I had about 3 hours free and I was in front of a hotel about 30 minutes away from him. If he wanted to play, I'd go in right then and get a room and text him the room number. His reply was, "I'll be there in 20!" Well, well, well....it really was just about not knowing how to close the deal. I should have known.
I got the room, texted him the room number, and waited. He didn't take long to get there, which was a relief. I hate waiting alone in a hotel room. It just gives me more time to get nervous and reconsider the wisdom of what I'm doing. I offer my apologies right now to all of those who have had to wait for me because I couldn't get away from the office right away. Waiting sucks.
He knocked on the door firmly, not tentatively. That could be a good sign, I thought. When I opened the door I was very, very pleasantly surprised by what I saw. He was tall (about 6'0") and, yes, gorgeous. Close your eyes and picture a hot fireman. That is exactly who was standing at my door. The fact that he was clearly young was immediately pushed aside by the hot fireman fantasy I'd had for the last 20 years. He wore jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap, and he had a backpack thrown over one shoulder. And he had a big smile on his face.
I stepped back and invited him in. He walked by me into the room and put his backpack down. I closed the door and we exchanged a polite greeting. Then we just stood there looking at each other for a moment, and I remember wondering if I was going to have to make the first move. Normally, I'll wait (and I rarely have to wait very long), but it can be different with the young ones. Sometimes they need a little help, but L wasn't that young. So I took a step toward him to see what that would do.
That was the only clue he needed. He reached out with both arms, grabbed me, pulled me to him, and started kissing and undressing me at the same time. I responded by flipping off his hat, tugging his shirt off, and unfastening those jeans he was filling out so nicely. I knelt to help him step out of his pants and I took his already hard cock into my mouth as soon as I was on my knees. The sound he made was somewhere between a gasp and a groan, but there was no doubt in my mind that I had made the right move. I sucked him only until he was out of his pants, then I stopped and stood up. He made a little disappointed whimpering sound as I pulled my mouth off of him. I took his hand and walked him over to the bed. I couldn't take my eyes off him. This was an opportunity I might not get again, so I wanted to enjoy as much of that hot fireman body as I could.
Once we got on the bed, he took charge (another very pleasant surprise) and slid his hand between my legs which I immediately opened wide for him. He found my clit easily and kissed me deeply while he rubbed it slowly and very gently. Soon, I was rocking my hips, pressing against his hand and moaning softly into his kiss. I was so focused on his lips and his hand on me that I really didn't notice when he climbed on top of me, that is, until I felt his cock enter me, sliding in all the way in one deep, smooth stroke. I pulled my knees up to feel him deeper, amazed at how easily we moved together. I made a mental note to myself to re-think this bias I had against young ones. This young one knew exactly what he was doing.
In a few minutes, he stopped, rolled me over and entered me from behind. He grabbed my hips and fucked me hard. By then I was ready to come and he was hitting just the right spot. I started shaking and felt that release come easily as I bucked back against him, squealing and moaning. He pumped harder and faster as I was coming, which just made it last longer and feel more intense for me.
He played around with several positions after that - standing by the side of the bed with me on my back and my legs up over his shoulders, me standing by the side of the bed and bending over while he took me from behind again, and back to how we started again with me on my back and him on top of me. I managed two more orgasms before he moved to the thing I knew he really wanted.
Because we had chatted so long before we actually got together, I knew some of his fantasies and things he really wanted to do, and he really, really wanted to try anal sex (doesn't every man want anal?). He got me back on my hands and knees and he moved behind me. I gave him a little bit of direction just to help him out, and soon he was fucking me in the ass deep and hard...very hard....so hard that I was holding onto the edge of the bed so he didn't push me off. With each thrust, he was pushing my knees up off the bed and forward an inch or two, then he'd pull me back by my hips. His strength was impressive; I'm not a little woman, but he had no trouble at all doing whatever he wanted and throwing me around like a doll. He grunted and screamed as he came in my ass, pulling me onto him hard and forcefully, and holding me there while he finished.
He pulled out of me and collapsed next to me. I looked over at him and there was that smile again. I wanted to laugh, but I didn't (men can easily mis-interpret a woman's laughter right after sex, so I try to avoid it and give it a few minutes before I get silly). We took a few minutes for each of us to clean up a bit, then we lounged in bed chatting for a while. Yeah, he was young, but he would still need a little bit of recovery time before he could come again, and I knew he would definitely come again. Chatting with him was fun and comfortable. He was bright (I only do smart men, remember?) and articulate and I thoroughly enjoyed just letting him talk about his family and his life while I stared at his body.
Soon, I couldn't stand it anymore and I just had to start touching and kissing him again. He laid back while I explored his body with my mouth and hands. When Igot down to his cock, I decided I was going to take my time and really enjoy myself. I started by kissing and licking around his cock, but not touching it with my mouth. It jumped when my cheek lightly brushed against it, and again when my hair trailed across it as I started licking his balls. He had his eyes closed and he was moaning quietly, but almost constantly now. I sucked on his balls for a minute or two before licking his shaft several times from the base all the way to the tip - very slowly. I moved back to the base and started rubbing my cheek against him, licking and sucking as I did....soon I was rubbing my entire face up and down on his cock and balls, spreading his precum all over his shaft with my face and he was pressing against me, rocking his hips, asking for more. I was using the opportunity to memorize every single bump and ridge and every sensitive spot. I took note of exactly which spots made him shudder and which ones made him thrust before taking him into my mouth.
I took his cock into my mouth slowly, but deeply, all the way in on the first stroke until I felt the head on the back of my throat. Then I pushed down until I felt it pop into my throat. He cried out and sat up about half way before falling back again and grabbing my hair. I held it there for as long as I could, then I pulled back and started sucking him slowly - the whole shaft from base to tip, swallowing the head on each and every stroke. When I felt him start to harden that little extra bit, knowing he was about to come, I changed it up a bit, massaging his balls, suckling only the head, until he wasn't on the edge anymore, and then I'd continue. I repeated that pattern about 5 times as he laid there moaning and begging loudly.
After about 30 minutes, I knew it was time to let him come, so when I felt him getting close that time, instead of pulling back or changing the pace, I pressed down and swallowed repeatedly, letting my throat and soft palate do the work. He screamed when he came, grabbing my hair and holding my head down on him. I continued to suck and swallow as he came,which was no small feat because I couldn't breathe and he was still emptying into my throat almost a full minute later.
I rolled over and attempted to catch my breath, smiling as he let out a string of expletives about how amazing it felt. That reminded me about something else I liked about the young ones - their gratitude. Less experienced than the older guys, it didn't take too much to make them happy or impress them, but I was still very pleased that L understood that this was pretty special and unusual by any standard.
We lounged together talking for a little while longer. L pulled out a picture of his son (I can't resist cute kid pictures) so I shared some photos of my kids, too. Then we cleaned up and got dressed, and I still couldn't take my eyes off of him as he pulled his clothes back on. We kissed each other goodbye (a very sweet, tender kiss), agreeing that we would definitely meet again.
When I met L, I was in my mid-40s and he was 33, much younger than my typical preference for men between 40 and 60. By the way, that has been my preference since I was 20. Go figure. I like a man who knows what he's doing, what he wants, and who knows his way around a woman's body. Can you blame me? Anyway.....
L was a fire fighter. Yes, even his youth could not get me beyond my fantasies of fucking a hot fireman. Doesn't every woman have that fantasy at some point in her life?
When L and I started chatting (yes, on Ashley Madison), I didn't think it would go anywhere. He was very cute, but the age thing was a little strange for me. Still, we continued to chat anyway. Over a couple of months, we'd chat or text occasionally - always talking about getting together, but never quite making it happen. Frankly, it was hard for me to tell if he was nervous, if he didn't really want to cheat on his wife, or if he just didn't know how to "close the deal," so to speak, so one afternoon I decided to take the bull by the horns and either make it happen or let it go.
(You should know that I'm really trying to resist all the hokey fire and fireman metaphors. I could have said, "...I decided to grab the fireman by the hose," but I didn't. I'll leave all of that for you to have fun with in the comments.)
I got a text from him that simply said, "Hi." I replied asking him where he was and what he was doing. Then I wrote that I had about 3 hours free and I was in front of a hotel about 30 minutes away from him. If he wanted to play, I'd go in right then and get a room and text him the room number. His reply was, "I'll be there in 20!" Well, well, well....it really was just about not knowing how to close the deal. I should have known.
I got the room, texted him the room number, and waited. He didn't take long to get there, which was a relief. I hate waiting alone in a hotel room. It just gives me more time to get nervous and reconsider the wisdom of what I'm doing. I offer my apologies right now to all of those who have had to wait for me because I couldn't get away from the office right away. Waiting sucks.
He knocked on the door firmly, not tentatively. That could be a good sign, I thought. When I opened the door I was very, very pleasantly surprised by what I saw. He was tall (about 6'0") and, yes, gorgeous. Close your eyes and picture a hot fireman. That is exactly who was standing at my door. The fact that he was clearly young was immediately pushed aside by the hot fireman fantasy I'd had for the last 20 years. He wore jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap, and he had a backpack thrown over one shoulder. And he had a big smile on his face.
I stepped back and invited him in. He walked by me into the room and put his backpack down. I closed the door and we exchanged a polite greeting. Then we just stood there looking at each other for a moment, and I remember wondering if I was going to have to make the first move. Normally, I'll wait (and I rarely have to wait very long), but it can be different with the young ones. Sometimes they need a little help, but L wasn't that young. So I took a step toward him to see what that would do.
That was the only clue he needed. He reached out with both arms, grabbed me, pulled me to him, and started kissing and undressing me at the same time. I responded by flipping off his hat, tugging his shirt off, and unfastening those jeans he was filling out so nicely. I knelt to help him step out of his pants and I took his already hard cock into my mouth as soon as I was on my knees. The sound he made was somewhere between a gasp and a groan, but there was no doubt in my mind that I had made the right move. I sucked him only until he was out of his pants, then I stopped and stood up. He made a little disappointed whimpering sound as I pulled my mouth off of him. I took his hand and walked him over to the bed. I couldn't take my eyes off him. This was an opportunity I might not get again, so I wanted to enjoy as much of that hot fireman body as I could.
Once we got on the bed, he took charge (another very pleasant surprise) and slid his hand between my legs which I immediately opened wide for him. He found my clit easily and kissed me deeply while he rubbed it slowly and very gently. Soon, I was rocking my hips, pressing against his hand and moaning softly into his kiss. I was so focused on his lips and his hand on me that I really didn't notice when he climbed on top of me, that is, until I felt his cock enter me, sliding in all the way in one deep, smooth stroke. I pulled my knees up to feel him deeper, amazed at how easily we moved together. I made a mental note to myself to re-think this bias I had against young ones. This young one knew exactly what he was doing.
In a few minutes, he stopped, rolled me over and entered me from behind. He grabbed my hips and fucked me hard. By then I was ready to come and he was hitting just the right spot. I started shaking and felt that release come easily as I bucked back against him, squealing and moaning. He pumped harder and faster as I was coming, which just made it last longer and feel more intense for me.
He played around with several positions after that - standing by the side of the bed with me on my back and my legs up over his shoulders, me standing by the side of the bed and bending over while he took me from behind again, and back to how we started again with me on my back and him on top of me. I managed two more orgasms before he moved to the thing I knew he really wanted.
Because we had chatted so long before we actually got together, I knew some of his fantasies and things he really wanted to do, and he really, really wanted to try anal sex (doesn't every man want anal?). He got me back on my hands and knees and he moved behind me. I gave him a little bit of direction just to help him out, and soon he was fucking me in the ass deep and hard...very hard....so hard that I was holding onto the edge of the bed so he didn't push me off. With each thrust, he was pushing my knees up off the bed and forward an inch or two, then he'd pull me back by my hips. His strength was impressive; I'm not a little woman, but he had no trouble at all doing whatever he wanted and throwing me around like a doll. He grunted and screamed as he came in my ass, pulling me onto him hard and forcefully, and holding me there while he finished.
He pulled out of me and collapsed next to me. I looked over at him and there was that smile again. I wanted to laugh, but I didn't (men can easily mis-interpret a woman's laughter right after sex, so I try to avoid it and give it a few minutes before I get silly). We took a few minutes for each of us to clean up a bit, then we lounged in bed chatting for a while. Yeah, he was young, but he would still need a little bit of recovery time before he could come again, and I knew he would definitely come again. Chatting with him was fun and comfortable. He was bright (I only do smart men, remember?) and articulate and I thoroughly enjoyed just letting him talk about his family and his life while I stared at his body.
Soon, I couldn't stand it anymore and I just had to start touching and kissing him again. He laid back while I explored his body with my mouth and hands. When Igot down to his cock, I decided I was going to take my time and really enjoy myself. I started by kissing and licking around his cock, but not touching it with my mouth. It jumped when my cheek lightly brushed against it, and again when my hair trailed across it as I started licking his balls. He had his eyes closed and he was moaning quietly, but almost constantly now. I sucked on his balls for a minute or two before licking his shaft several times from the base all the way to the tip - very slowly. I moved back to the base and started rubbing my cheek against him, licking and sucking as I did....soon I was rubbing my entire face up and down on his cock and balls, spreading his precum all over his shaft with my face and he was pressing against me, rocking his hips, asking for more. I was using the opportunity to memorize every single bump and ridge and every sensitive spot. I took note of exactly which spots made him shudder and which ones made him thrust before taking him into my mouth.
I took his cock into my mouth slowly, but deeply, all the way in on the first stroke until I felt the head on the back of my throat. Then I pushed down until I felt it pop into my throat. He cried out and sat up about half way before falling back again and grabbing my hair. I held it there for as long as I could, then I pulled back and started sucking him slowly - the whole shaft from base to tip, swallowing the head on each and every stroke. When I felt him start to harden that little extra bit, knowing he was about to come, I changed it up a bit, massaging his balls, suckling only the head, until he wasn't on the edge anymore, and then I'd continue. I repeated that pattern about 5 times as he laid there moaning and begging loudly.
After about 30 minutes, I knew it was time to let him come, so when I felt him getting close that time, instead of pulling back or changing the pace, I pressed down and swallowed repeatedly, letting my throat and soft palate do the work. He screamed when he came, grabbing my hair and holding my head down on him. I continued to suck and swallow as he came,which was no small feat because I couldn't breathe and he was still emptying into my throat almost a full minute later.
I rolled over and attempted to catch my breath, smiling as he let out a string of expletives about how amazing it felt. That reminded me about something else I liked about the young ones - their gratitude. Less experienced than the older guys, it didn't take too much to make them happy or impress them, but I was still very pleased that L understood that this was pretty special and unusual by any standard.
We lounged together talking for a little while longer. L pulled out a picture of his son (I can't resist cute kid pictures) so I shared some photos of my kids, too. Then we cleaned up and got dressed, and I still couldn't take my eyes off of him as he pulled his clothes back on. We kissed each other goodbye (a very sweet, tender kiss), agreeing that we would definitely meet again.
Top Posts from the Past Week and Other Stuff
Hey there, Prowlers. I've got a few goodies for you today. First, if you haven't already noticed, there are some tabs just below the title bar above that will take you to collections of posts. For example, the "Sex, Sex, Only Sex" tab will take you to a collection of all of our sex posts (yummy!). The "Advice" tab will take you to a collection of advice posts.
Next, you know I like to give you a list of the most popular posts from the previous week. If you haven't had a chance to check them out, now is a great opportunity to catch up. Here's your weekly list of most read posts from the past week. Enjoy!
10 Tips for Wives to Keep Your Husband from Cheating
What Women Really Want in Bed
Contented Kat?
All Filled Up - A Naughty Story
Why Kat Prowls
Next, you know I like to give you a list of the most popular posts from the previous week. If you haven't had a chance to check them out, now is a great opportunity to catch up. Here's your weekly list of most read posts from the past week. Enjoy!
10 Tips for Wives to Keep Your Husband from Cheating
What Women Really Want in Bed
Contented Kat?
All Filled Up - A Naughty Story
Why Kat Prowls
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Contented Kat?
I was chatting with a good friend this morning (yes, a prowler) and he brought up the topic of being content, not needing to actively prowl. He's got three honeys in his prowling queue, and he's pretty happy with that (and them). The thought of actively looking for more is just not appealing to him right now.
That got me thinking about where I am, and honestly, I'm in the same place. That realization shocked me because I'm never (ok, rarely) satisfied, yet here I am feeling pretty content with my honey-on-the-side and not even tempted to open Ashley Madison to prowl around a bit. Wow. In fact, I haven't been active on AM for quite a while.
Here's what's going on: I am having some big challenges at work that are demanding my focus and attention, leaving me with less time for prowling than I would like and that I have had in the past. I have a good friend to whom I can tell anything and that's really nice. Things at home are pretty calm. And as for my honey-on-the-side, he really gets me. Our relationship has just the right blend of friendship and heat to keep me satisfied. Of course, I'd love more time with him, but I think that would be true no matter how much time we had together. Finally, all of your wonderful emails give me the chance to get my flirt on when I'm feeling that need, too (and I really do appreciate hearing from you -- keep 'em coming!). What more could a Kat want?
Does this mean you won't be seeing any more naughty posts? Heck, no! I'm as naughty and horny as ever (seriously, I am) and you know how I love to share that with you.
My point is that I wanted to share that sometimes you can reach a really nice place in this prowling lifestyle. You don't have to be on the hunt and on edge all the time. It can be comfortable, supportive, even loving. Now, I know that some of you prowling dogs out there dig the hunt. In fact, it's the hunt that you really need. If that's you, get your hunt on! If you're looking for something a little less stressful (but no less intense), just be aware that it's possible.
So, for now, picture me as a contented Kat, sprawled out naked and comfortable on a bear skin rug in front of a nice warm fire. Honey, are you going to join me?
That got me thinking about where I am, and honestly, I'm in the same place. That realization shocked me because I'm never (ok, rarely) satisfied, yet here I am feeling pretty content with my honey-on-the-side and not even tempted to open Ashley Madison to prowl around a bit. Wow. In fact, I haven't been active on AM for quite a while.
Here's what's going on: I am having some big challenges at work that are demanding my focus and attention, leaving me with less time for prowling than I would like and that I have had in the past. I have a good friend to whom I can tell anything and that's really nice. Things at home are pretty calm. And as for my honey-on-the-side, he really gets me. Our relationship has just the right blend of friendship and heat to keep me satisfied. Of course, I'd love more time with him, but I think that would be true no matter how much time we had together. Finally, all of your wonderful emails give me the chance to get my flirt on when I'm feeling that need, too (and I really do appreciate hearing from you -- keep 'em coming!). What more could a Kat want?
Does this mean you won't be seeing any more naughty posts? Heck, no! I'm as naughty and horny as ever (seriously, I am) and you know how I love to share that with you.
My point is that I wanted to share that sometimes you can reach a really nice place in this prowling lifestyle. You don't have to be on the hunt and on edge all the time. It can be comfortable, supportive, even loving. Now, I know that some of you prowling dogs out there dig the hunt. In fact, it's the hunt that you really need. If that's you, get your hunt on! If you're looking for something a little less stressful (but no less intense), just be aware that it's possible.
So, for now, picture me as a contented Kat, sprawled out naked and comfortable on a bear skin rug in front of a nice warm fire. Honey, are you going to join me?
Saturday, March 19, 2011
10 Tips for Wives to Keep Your Husband from Cheating
Ok, I know that your first reaction to this is going to be that it's not your fault if he cheats, and you are right, of course. Your husband is responsible for his own behavior. Not only that, but there are some guys who are going to cheat no matter what you do just because they are addicted to the newness of fresh pussy (If my use of the word "pussy" just offended you, get over it. You need to toughen up if you are going to compete with the prowling women out there, ok?). As I was saying, even though you are not responsible for his choices, there are some things you can do to minimize the chances that your man will stray.
I know what I'm talking about. I have been "the other woman" with more than a few "happily married" men. I've listened to countless stories about their wives and their marriages and how they would like them to be different. The first thing I want to tell you is that, almost without exception, they really do love you and they really do want their marriages to work. But some things are missing.
Here are some tips to help you address those things before your man steps out of the marriage to find them:
I know what I'm talking about. I have been "the other woman" with more than a few "happily married" men. I've listened to countless stories about their wives and their marriages and how they would like them to be different. The first thing I want to tell you is that, almost without exception, they really do love you and they really do want their marriages to work. But some things are missing.
Here are some tips to help you address those things before your man steps out of the marriage to find them:
- Don't underestimate the importance of a sexual relationship to man. Women tend to minimize the importance of sex and write it off as a male perversion, but it's not. Wanting sex regularly, particularly with the woman they love, is completely normal - biologically and emotionally. Cutting it off has all sorts of ramifications, not the least of which is that they will often feel unwanted and like they are not fully appreciated as a man. It's a big deal. Please stop acting like it's not. We could debate all day about whether other things in a relationship are or should be more important, but that doesn't matter. The fact remains that your husband needs a satisfying sexual relationship with you to be truly happy in the marriage. It's not just a want, but a need.
- Make your husband feel like sex with him is important to you, too. The one thing I have heard from every single married man I've ever been with is what a turn on it is to be with a woman who wants to have sex, and who wants to have sex with him. They feel like you don't want them anymore and your half-hearted attempts to give in to them as you openly act like you just want it over with as soon as possible are hurtful to some and downright offensive to others. Your husband's sexual satisfaction is not just about orgasm. He needs to feel that you want to have sex with him and that you enjoy it.
- Get help to get over your "issues." Many men say that their wife has just lost interest in sex and that there appears to be nothing that either spouse can do about that. That is simply not true. If you have lost interest in sex, please go to your doctor and tell him that you have lost interest and ask for help. There are many biological conditions that might be interfering with your libido. Work with your doctor to find any problem, if there is one, and treat it. After that, if you still have no desire, seek counseling.
- Learn to give (and like) oral sex. Men like oral sex. I often hear them say that their wives won't do it or that their wives don't do it well. If I told you that learning to give good head might be the difference between losing or keeping your husband, would you do it? Good girl. So, educate yourself. When I was newly married, I knew my husband loved to receive oral satisfaction, but I also felt very inadequate because I knew I didn't know what I was doing. One day, I sat him down and I told him how I was feeling. I told him that I wanted to learn how to do it, and I asked him if he would teach me what he likes and what he doesn't. And I also asked him to be patient with me. Before I was even done saying that, his pants were off and his cock was hard, and he was ready to give me my first lesson. He talked me through it. I tried different things. He gave me immediate feedback (kind words, moans, and cum) when I did it well. I practiced....a lot, because it was important to me to please him. I also looked at some books and videos and tried to learn even more. I really got into it and learned to like it (a lot), and my husband was turned on by the fact that I wanted to learn.
- Speak up, and teach your husband what turns you on. Trust me, your pleasure is a big turn on for your husband. If he's just missing the mark, so to speak, in helping you come to orgasm, show him what to do. Talk him through it. He will get the message that you really want pleasure, which he will love, and he'll want to give it to you. For a man, a huge part of feeling sexually powerful is knowing that he can please a woman. I've been with men who who were just deliriously excited that they could make me come because they thought they had lost the ability to bring a woman pleasure and my orgasm showed them that wasn't true. Their wives' lack of interest had actually convinced these men that there was something wrong with them. They had lost confidence, and they went to another woman to get it back. Let your husband please you. Show him how. If you don't know how, get professional help (see #3, above).
- Have more sex. Interestingly, the more you have sex, the more you'll want sex. It stimulates the pleasure center of your brain and gets your hormones and other juices flowing. Sometimes the best way to shake your libido awake is just to start having sex.
- Try something new. Buy your husband a sex toy to try out on you. Get an instructional sex book or DVD and try new positions together. You can never be "fresh pussy" for your husband like you were when you were first married, but you can do the next best thing - you can keep it as fresh as possible by not falling into a routine of doing the same thing every time. You may think that your husband should take the lead on this if it matters to him, but often your husband won't try something new because he's afraid he'll offend you and then he won't get any sex at all (and that is something most men want to avoid at all costs). If you bring up new things to try, he'll know that you understand how important the sexual relationship is to him and you'll keep him wondering what fun thing you'll come up with next. And that will keep him at home with you.
- Remember that sex starts outside the bedroom. I know. Men are really bad about this. I can't tell you how many times over the last 20+ years my husband has been short with me or cranky and then wanted sex when we went to bed. It's like there's a total disconnect between the brain and the cock. Still, if you want your husband to stay sexually interested in you, you need to give him something to be interested in. Send him sweet (and maybe even dirty) little text messages and notes ("Watching you come out of the shower this morning got me wet, too. Can't wait 'til tonight." "I love you. Can't wait to feel your arms around me again."). Get as naughty as you want. This is your husband, for goodness' sake! Don't be shy. Just remember, if your husband is having an affair, he's going to be getting even naughtier little messages than the examples I gave you, and he'll love them and they will make him rush to her to get some of the real thing. Don't you want him thinking about you and rushing home to you instead?
- Be nice to your husband. This is really part of #8, but I wanted to list it separately because it's very important. Please forgive me for being so blunt, but some of you are just bitches to your men. You henpeck them and try to control them constantly, your speak to them very harshly and rudely, and you belittle their attempts at affection. Why are you surprised when they find escape in the arms of a woman who speaks softly and gently to them and treats them nicely? Now, this doesn't apply to all of you because I often hear from men that they love everything about their wives except their sex lives, but I also hear from others that they are tired of being treated like a meal ticket and a home repair man. When a marriage is going through a rough spell, it can be hard to remember the basic courtesies of companionship, but please make an effort. Say "please" and "thank you." Follow the basic rule you learned from your mom - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" - and follow the Golden Rule.
- Don't give up. It's hard to change behavior and learn new skills and habits, even if you really want to. Please don't give up. The cost will be a great one if you quit, but the payoff if you persevere will be wonderful. Imagine your husband doting on you like he did when you were first married. Wouldn't you love to be fully satisfied in the bedroom? You can be, and so can he. No, it's not as easy as it was when you were new together, but that doesn't mean that it can't be even better if you make a good effort. Isn't he worth it?
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