PWK's 200th Post!

Can you believe it?  It seems like just yesterday that I wrote our 199th post.  Time sure does fly....

To celebrate this nifty milestone, Cara, DauntlessD, and I have each come up with 5 lessons we have learned since we started the blog.

And, as you can see, Cara made her own special contribution to the celebration. ;-)


Cara's Lessons

Here's what I've learned:

1. PWK followers are the best in the world!
2. Kat is a dirty whore.:-)
3. There are people who actually call their dicks their "manhood" and their "member".
4. Proper webcam etiquette.
5. I learned from this post (TSA Foreplay at the Airport) that if I want an added thrill while I'm traveling to go bra-less and/or panty-less and wait to be patted down.

DauntlessD's Lessons

In Prowling with Kat I've learned...

1. That more than just my friends like my writing.  A special thank-you goes to Kat for pushing me, "C'mon Daunt, just do it!  Just put something out there."  And for those that feel I disrupt your regularly scheduled Kat or Cara programming, sorry but I'm here to stay.  Why am I suddenly wondering if I've become Kat's pet cock... 
2. I *LOVE* my split identity.  Those that know me that do not know about the blog would be utterly and completely shocked.  Who knew that out of strife and personal frustration life's defibrillator paddles would resurrect a piece of my personality I thought was dead, never to be seen again.  This outlet and the friends I have made have become like oxygen for my soul.
3. Kat is able to get me to do things I didn't think I would.  Well, I suppose it's not just Kat, the fun I'm having plays a role in lowering whatever silly inhibitions I have.  But seriously, me doing a toy review?  Really? In the end it was fun and in fact I would do it again; but maybe not solo next time.  Um, no sir, you may not volunteer.
4. As a result of the toy review, I learned I do not care for tight masturbation sleeves, BUT they *CAN* be used as a beer can cozy!  So my male blogging friends, get out there and get yourself one for free -- and tell 'em Daunt sent ya!  No... No, sir... sir, I've already told you, you may not volunteer.
5. AshleyMadison is not the only way to meet women, and maybe this will surprise you, I learned I was after more than sex.  I discovered that what I really wanted were friendships with women where Daunt's naughty side was just right out there for them to see.  Sadly I had not had this before and through the blog and twitter I have found them.  They're a lovely fun bunch.

Kat's Lessons

I have learned....

1. PWK readers are the best! You leave fun and thoughtful comments and the email I get is great.
2. People really do pay attention to my advice. I see references in comments to decisions folks have made as a result of the advice they have read here, and the emails about lessons y'all have learned are awesome. Every now and then, I also hear a play partner repeating a piece of advice that I've given. "Well, you know, Kat, you wrote that we should always....." Sometimes that's not as much fun, but it's a great reminder for me about being careful.
3. In the pecking order of sex blogs, we prowlers aren't liked very much. Of course, I'm not referring to everyone, just a general sense.  I find this amusing because we all have much more in common than most think. The married folks' sex bloggers think we're the enemy (having sex with their spouses when they want to be doing that), the single folks' sex bloggers think we're the competition, and the game bloggers just think we're in the way and that our approaches can't possibly work (in spite of all the evidence to the contrary). Personally, I think they are all just jealous because we're the only ones getting any regular sex.
4. One of the surprising benefits of PWK has been that I've made some really great friends. Some are other bloggers and some are readers who have started corresponding with me regularly over time. I have come to rely on this new network of friends for support.
5. Cara is absolutely gorgeous! Well, I knew that before, but I didn't get to see her without clothes until she started providing HNT photos. Wowza! And she's beautiful inside and out...and a great friend. By the way, when she calls me a dirty whore, she means it as a term of endearment. She's my favorite trashy slut.

I know we were only supposed to come up with 5 lessons, but I'm Kat, so I get to break the rules (Didn't you know that "Breaking All the Rules" is my middle name?).

• Daunt is the best friend a girl could ever have. He reads my posts in advance and gives me honest feedback.  He comforts me when I'm down, and celebrates with me when I'm feeling good.  He reminds me to stay safe and establish boundaries, and he supports my efforts to keep my marriage as strong as possible.  Oh yeah....and he looks pretty darn good naked.  Ok, I'll admit that I haven't seen him naked in a long, long, long time, but some things a gal just can't forget.  ;-)

So, fellow Prowlers, you can expect some special surprises over the next several months. You'll be hearing more from DauntlessD (not less from me, but more from him) so tell your gal friends to jump over for a visit. You'll be seeing more raunchy sex stories (you didn't really think those would stop, did you?). You'll finally see that Kat, Cara, and Daunt HNT pic at some point.  And I can't tell you about the other surprises or they wouldn't be surprises!

Thanks, Prowlers, for a great run so far......and here's to another 200 fun prowler posts!

Behind the Scenes at PWK

As you might expect, the Prowling with Kat (PWK) team is a highly organized group of very professional individuals (cough cough). To demonstrate that, we decided that we'd post the log of the 3 way chat we held this afternoon to finish planning some of the details of our 200th post for tomorrow.  Yes, that's right. We have reached another benchmark - 200 posts!

The plan was that we would each write 5 thoughtful and, hopefully, amusing things we have learned while doing the blog, and that the post would include a lovely photo of our sweet Cara. You know, the naughty kind of photo that we have come to love.

So, when you read about "4 or 5," we're talking about the lessons learned, and the references to the picture are all about a naughty shot of Cara with the Words "PWK 200th Post!" written in lipstick on her gorgeous body.

One more thing, as you read, remember that this is a chat transcript. If you're not familiar with chat, it might seem a little confusing and disjointed to you, but hang with it. Also, none of us obey the conventions of writing in chat, so you'll notice an absence of capital letters, etc.  Get over it.

Enjoy your little peek behind the PWK curtain......

DauntlessD:  Hello

Kat:  hi!

Cara:  Hi!

Kat:  woohoo! Threesome

DauntlessD:  somehow it's just not the same
haha

Cara:  I wanna know the status of the picture and i asked Kat if i should just ask you
what's the story?
hehehe
It's not the same? i wouldn't know...
so, do i need to re-take the picture, or can you photo shop it better?

DauntlessD:  I'm going to try and make the "Post" word just a bit bigger....turning it black and white and leaving the text color made it look pretty cool
I'm going to try again in just a minute right after I write number 5

Cara:  can i see it?

DauntlessD:  sure

Cara:  okay!
i thought we only had to write 4 things we had learned.
no?

Kat:  5

DauntlessD:  oh...so Kat changed the rules on me? haha

Kat:  you only wrote 4
no no no
it's 5

DauntlessD:  I only wrote 4 because I got stuck

Kat:  Cara needs a 5th

Cara:  i thought we were only supposed to write 4

Kat:  no no no
It's 5!!!!!

Cara:  i didn't know.
okay, i saw the picture. it looks like someone wrote with a magic marker on the picture

Kat:  eewwwww

Cara:  did you see it?

Kat:  all in color it looks like lipstick

Kat:  that's what it looks like

Kat:  I agree, Daunt, now that she mentions it

Cara:  it should. as it is now, it looks like someone wrote on it

DauntlessD:  haha...well Cara offered to re-take I think
I thought it was kinda nifty... but maybe I was distracted hehe

Cara:  I will, but next time, I want better instructions the FIRST time so I don't have to keep retaking it. So... anything else you'd like me to change, or just make the words more bold?
Daunt, did you see the first one i sent her?

Kat:  yeah...drop your hands and give us a full nude, since you asked

Cara:  BAHAHAHAHAHA!
you're funny!

DauntlessD:  Probably the brightest-reddest lipstick you could find and make the text bigger than you think it needs to be

Cara:  maybe YOU should take the pic

Kat:  I loved the first pic.....but want the writing on your belly

Cara:  but yes, I will make it bigger and bolder

DauntlessD:  I didn't see the first pic

Cara:  i thought the writing on the tummy was too obvious. that's why i had it on my arms

Kat:  Cara, we want people to stick around for the 300th post, silly

Kat:  heheh

Cara:  can you two help me think of what i've learned?
from pwk

DauntlessD:  eek... lovely photo!

Cara:  besides that kat's a dirty whore?
i have no waist
i don't like that photo at all
here's what i've learned. i look better with clothes on
there.
done

DauntlessD:  yeah...but you women...you only see your own flaws....I ain't seeing what you see....I only see purdy

Cara:  i guess
thanks!

Kat:  me, too!

DauntlessD:  I've told Kat I love the tease shots....like your school-teacher one

Cara:  ya?

me:  How about.."I've learned that I'm totally full of shit when I think that my body is not smokin' hot!"

DauntlessD:  oh yeah...feeling like your seeing something your not supposed to is a huge turn on
haha...yeah

Cara:  interesting...
try again, Kat, i'm not *sure about about that one...

Kat:  In the first one yesterday, I LOVE that your hand is covering your woohoo, but you can see just a little hint of the fold between your leg and belly....mmmmmm

Cara:  it's too bad lipstick is not the easiest thing to put on and take off from one's body, because i could do a bunch and you could pick from them

DauntlessD:  right...that's the vibe...where you can almost see something but not quite
A sign or white board could work...

Cara:  oooOOOOOo, I like that!
i should have brought a white board home from work with me!

Kat:  No no no......

Cara:  maybe I can improvise!
i  like that idea!

DauntlessD:  No?

Kat:  (sigh)

Cara:  she LOVES the idea!

Kat:  (pouting) ok, whatever

DauntlessD:  I'd could still barely cover the naughty bits

Cara:  i can stratigically place it
yes, D, you're right!

Kat:  How about you do a full nude...and daunt pixelates out the naughty parts?

DauntlessD:  haha...sorry I was just brain storming
I think I better just sit silently and pray
haha

Cara:  pray for ?

DauntlessD:  the answer that Kat wants

Cara:  oh!

Kat:  (mimicking Cara with exaggeration) Yes, Daunt...you're soooooo right...wiggle wiggle

Cara:  i was thinking i could have the thing written on my arse
or something

Kat:  me, too.. Isn't Beth coming over? Can't she help with the picture?

Cara:  Not until later.
barf

DauntlessD:  it'll have to be close though to get the text big enough

DauntlessD:  it couldn't be a full body shot

Kat:  ok...go ahead and make a sign

Cara:  not a full body shot?

Kat:  a teeny tiny sign...heheheh
Oh...I want a full body shot
but I thought I was outvoted

DauntlessD:  you're butt isn't big enough to get the text big enough for a full body shot

Kat:  hahahahaha

Cara:  maybe Kat should take the damn picture

Kat:  There you go, insulting the size of my butt again

Cara:  oh, it is! i have a maximus gluteous

Kat:  Some men happen to love a butt the size of Ohio, ok????

Cara:  heeheheh
it turns out that the photos Kat has taken, the people LOVE!!!
notice that?

Kat:  no they don't
they love YOU

Cara:  are you kidding?!?!?!?
they LOVE your photos!

Kat:  Daunt, talk some sense into her please

Cara:  remember the one guy who like enlarged it so he (or maybe she?) could see you in the mirror?
it's true!
the people LOVE their Kat

DauntlessD:  haha....it's the same for both of you....you look at each other and see clearly...look at yourself and weird goggles get put on

Kat:  hahah....the people love READING Kat. They love SEEING you

Cara:  oh whatevs
um, did you not read your comments?
seriously!

Kat:  take the picture!
sheesh

Cara:  i can't

DauntlessD:  She's right though, Kat, that last photo you took was nice

Cara:  pay attention and keep up. Beth's not coming over until later!

DauntlessD:  well...the last one you posted

Kat:  ok...uuggghhh.. You know, the log of this chat would make a great post
lol

Cara:  BAHAHHAHA!
maybe so, you should edit it and post it
that would be great

Kat:  I think I will! hehehe

DauntlessD:  hehe....some folks would love it....how organized we are
you'll have to filter for real names etc

Cara:  i love the idea

Kat:  of course....

Cara:  of course!!

Kat:  gonna work on it now. Cara, go finish writing your fifth lesson!

*****************

Tomorrow......PWK's 200th Post!!!

When the Wife Finds Out.....

**WARNING: Bitter woman post below.  In fact, imagine Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know playing in the background** (And no, sillies, this is not about me and JJ.  JJ is just fine.)

It's usually a phone call.  I can tell that his voice is different.  The tenderness is missing.  It's obvious that someone else is listening in because he just doesn't sound like himself, and certainly not like the man I've known for months.

The message he's delivering is cold, distant.

"I've spent the weekend talking with my wife, and we've decided that the best thing for everyone involved is for you and I not to have any further contact with each other."

Really?  You two have decided that the best thing for everyone involved is to cut off all contact with me? Since when does your wife decide anything for me? And she has my best interests at heart, too?  Yeah, right. You know what annoys me the most?  That this sounds like a "My mommy says I can't play with you anymore" call.

"So please don't make any attempts to contact me."

I shouldn't make any attempts to contact you? You make it sound like I'm a stalker.  The truth is that you have been the one calling me. You have been the one wanting more contact.  You've been the one begging for another afternoon of sex as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you.This is just the way it has to be."

Huh. If you're really sorry, you wouldn't be telling me this on a phone call in a tone of voice that sounds like we barely know each other.  This is the way it has to be, huh? But just a few days ago you said you would love me forever, that nothing would ever come between us.  Gee, forever is pretty short.

The truth is that I knew this day was coming.  It always comes.  In the infidelity world, there is no forever. I know the rules and I try never to forget them. That's why I rarely give my heart away. I couldn't survive if I got my heart trampled every time some guy was so sloppy that his wife became suspicious.

I wonder why men don't believe me when I tell them their wives are much smarter and more observant than they think they are?

You're sorry you hurt me.  I have some hurtful truths to share that I wanted to say on that phone conversation, but I chose not to because I know better than to complicate the situation any further.

But I wanted to say....

That's ok.  You'll be replaced soon.  You know that killer blow job you like so much?  Within a week or two some other guy will be getting that regularly. And you know how I would scream when you made me cum?  Well, I have no doubt that the next one will make me scream, too.

And while he is, I'll probably be thinking, "X and his wife were right, this is much better for everyone involved."

*********

Ok, it has been a while since something like this happened to me.  Surely, others of you have had similar experiences, some funny, some bitter. Tell us in the comments what you did when the spouse of your lover found out about your affair.

Kat's First Ashley Madison Encounter - Chicago Guy

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was working in my office at home. Correction:  I was procrastinating in my office at home. I had seen one of those faux Ashley Madison commercials on TV (brilliant marketing ploy, by the way) and I decided I had the time to take a look. I had also recently decided that it was time to start prowling again.  It had been about 7 years since my last fling (yes, that's right, seven...long....years) and I was ready.  I was more than ready. 

I signed up quickly using one of my rarely-used web email addresses and a fake name. It was simple. So far, so good.  I set up a profile.  All those check boxes were annoying, so I wrote a few lines, not trying to impress anyone at all - just trying to get through the stupid profile creation process without a blank profile.

Then I started browsing. 20 miles from home.  50 miles from home. Wow!  So many choices! Within 20 minutes, I was getting messages.  Lots of messages.  I started answering them while still browsing. Within an hour, I had a few men I was chatting with and I stopped answering the messages for awhile.

Chicago Guy was one of the first messages I received that day.  He was in town for a couple of weeks on business and he said this was his first time trolling on AM, and that he had never had an affair before. My heart sank a little because I was really looking for someone local for a longer term thing, but he was a nice guy, so we continued to chat.

He was in town for a couple of weeks, but I use the term "in town" very loosely.  Apparently, he wasn't familiar with northern California when he was browsing in my area.  He was actually 90 minutes away. Oh well, another strike against anything ever happening with this guy.

There was flirting.  There was naughty conversation. There were exchanged photos (hmmm...not bad). Then came the requests to meet that day.

Not gonna happen, I thought.  First, it was Sunday.  I never just take off on a Sunday.  Hubby would never buy it.  And this guy was 90 minutes away.  No way.

So I told him, sure, as long as he was willing to drive an hour my way.  I'd drive 30 minutes in his direction, and we could meet at a hotel near a shopping destination that I'd use as my alibi. I knew the answer would be no.  What guy would drive an hour for sex?

To my surprise, he said yes and asked when he should leave.

Holy maloney!  It was now or never.  I told him to leave right then.  I went to hubby and made my case for an escape for a few hours. Then I cleaned up a bit and left.

I got to the room first and checked in and waited.  To say I was nervous would have been an understatement. As I sat there in the quiet thinking, all sorts of terrible thoughts occurred to me. What am I doing?  He seemed too eager.  He must be an axe murderer. What if he doesn't like me? (Why I was concerned that an axe murderer like me, I'll never know.) What if he doesn't look at all like his photo? What if we have no rapport in person and the sex sucks?  How long do I have to stay if I change my mind?

My terror thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. Relief.  Not only did he look like his photo, but he was quite handsome. He was tall (6'2") and muscular with a shaved head and a goatee. He wore jeans and a Chicago Bears jersey, and he looked perfectly comfortable.  If this was his first time, why wasn't he nervous like me?

I opened the door and we smiled at each other. I stepped aside so he could enter and we uttered some quick greetings as he walked in.

"Kat? Hi," he said.

"Chicago Guy?" I replied.

(By the way, I'm not using an initial for his name like I usually do here because, well, I don't remember his name.  I know.  What a slut, huh?")

Unexpectedly, he pulled me close and kissed me as soon as the door closed. We stood there kissing for what seemed like the longest time until the heat started to build and clothes started to come off. He kept his mouth on mine constantly so I couldn't ask him the critically important question I had in mind.  I thought I'd ask it as I pulled his jersey off over his head, but then I got a look at his chest and decided that this was not a time for talking.

As soon as our clothes were off, he turned me around, put a hand on the back of my neck and bent me over the bed. I threw my hands down in front of me to catch my fall as he pushed my legs apart with one of his knees and pulled my hips up, indicating that he wanted to me to stand, bent over at the waist.

I felt him step back to look.  I felt so exposed, bent over the bed nude while he looked at me, inspected me. I heard him unwrap a condom and put it on.  Thank God.  We hadn't even talked about that. His hands started to caress by back, then my ass, my thighs.  He slid his hand between my legs and very slowly and gently pressed a finger inside me. I shuddered a bit.  He gasped and whispered, "So wet....very nice..."

He pulled out his hand and reached around, putting his fingers in my mouth. I sucked on them obediently, cleaning off every drop as I felt him lean against me. I felt him positioning his cock to enter me, but he was so tall and I was so short....I went up onto my tippy toes.  The extra couple of inches was all he needed, and he slid into me with one deep stroke.

That first experience of new cock is amazing, but this was particularly incredible because it had been 7 years since I had been with anyone besides my husband.  I started to push back against him, but I couldn't because he grabbed my hips and lifted me up slightly so I couldn't get my footing. He fucked me deeply and hard for about 30 seconds and then he came.

I thought, That's it? Surely we're not done.

I laid down on the bed while he disposed of condom #1.  We chatted a bit.  Then I remembered!  I had to ask the question!

"White Sox or Cubs?"

He laughed. He tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away.

"Answer the question first.  Then I'll decide if there's more."

He got serious, looked into my eyes, and said, "Cubs."

"Good answer, " I purred, and I kissed him.

He kissed his way down my neck, lingered for awhile sucking on my nipples, then down my belly. He shifted his body, repositioning himself between my legs, which I had spread wide open for him at that point. I felt his tongue exploring me, until he found my clit. He sucked on it for about 10 seconds, just long enough for me to let a hungry moan escape.

Then he pulled his head up, looked at me, and said, "Wait.  I have a question now."

"Seriously?" I panted.  "Can't it wait?"

"Nope," he said rather matter-of-factly as he slid a couple of fingers inside me and started rubbing my clit with his thumb.

"What is it?"

He teased, "Maybe I shouldn't ask it yet, but I can't let you cum until you answer and unless I get the right answer.  Do you want me to ask you the question now, Kat?"

By now, his finger had found my g-spot and his thumb had my clit and I was rocking my hips, pressing against his hand.

"Yes, ask the question," I moaned.

He stopped moving his hand.  "Maybe not."

"Please!  Please ask the question..."

He started moving his hand again.  I remember thinking, he'd better ask that damned question soon or I won't be able to think clearly enough to answer.

Then he asked the one question that I could answer under any conditions.

"Giants or Dodgers?"

"Giants!" I yelled.  His hand stopped.  For the first time ever, the thought actually crossed my mind that Dodgers might have been the correct answer.

Naaaaahhhhh.

He replaced his thumb with his tongue, finger fucking me while he gave me the best (ok, the only) tongue lashing my pussy had had in seven years.

As soon as I started to shake, he reached up and put his forearm across my belly, holding me still. I was amazed how that forced all of the energy and focus inside me as I came. It was more of an explosion than an orgasm. He kept working it all the way to the end, letting me enjoy every last jolt and shudder.

He gently slid his fingers out of me and climbed back up next to me, kissing me right away, making me taste myself.  He rubbed his wet hand on one of my breasts; then he leaned over me and started kissing and licking it it clean.

After about a minute, he found my mouth again (I was just laying there, dumbfounded and satisfied at that point) and kissed me deeply. His kiss wandered to my neck, then my ear, and he whispered, "Good answer."

We both laughed. We talked some more. Condom #2 and condom #3 were well used (maybe I'll share those details in another post).

Then we looked at the clock and it was time for me to go. We talked about meeting again as we got dressed, but we both finally admitted that it wasn't going to happen.  I had a busy week ahead.  He was flying home on Friday.

We kissed each other goodbye and walked out together. We waved goodbye as we each walked to our cars. That was the last time I saw him.

I drove away thinking, this AM thing may actually work out for me. It turns out that it did because the very next time I logged on, I met J (The Best Sex of My Life).

Word Aesthetics, DauntlessD's Perspective

Recently Kat wrote a post about words and how the meaning of them can be completely flipped depending on the context of who's using them and how they're being said. It was a very fun post, but somehow by the end of it both my blogging partners were ganging up on me. This post, while primarily to be fun, is also a bit about defending Daunt's honor. Tsk tsk tsk, those naughty girls... I should give them a "manhood" lashing.

Before I continue let me state that I've had no formal training on writing and I am not a literature buff. I'm just a guy who enjoys reading and with a little encouragement from friends discovered he could write.

There are two things in play when I choose my words and one of these things is my upbringing. I was raised in a pretty old-school manner and was taught to treat women with enormous respect. Along with never raising my hand to them in anger, I was taught to be a gentleman and never be crass around them -- in essence, not to be a knuckle-dragging ape. This shows in the erotica I write because in general I expect the majority of my audience to be women.

Now the second thing that causes me to decide which words to use is purely my opinion. Things like the mood I'm trying to convey come into play. Lets play a little game. On the next line there will be a single word. Ready?

Sunshine.

Now stop. Don't think about the image that popped in your mind, think about the feeling you felt. For me it's a general happiness, so I expect you to feel that too. In my opinion there is something about the sound of the word that comes into play also, and I'm going to show that on the next line. Ready?

Petcock.

For whatever reason this word gives me a general ugly feeling. Maybe it's the jolting abrupt syllables, I'm not sure, but it sounds ugly to me.

When it comes to genitalia, I have a hunch most men feel like I do. Women are all smooth and curvy and their nether regions have everything neatly tucked away. Now men... well... their genitalia is... well... icky. I mean seriously, there is this limp thing with a rumpled sack that occasionally stiffens and looks at you. When you look at a prime example of male physique his junk almost looks like the dimple left behind on a casting of plastic.

So, lets think about the words we use for genitalia.

Cunt.

It sounds ugly to me. Most women I've know feel an aversion to this word. I know some women like it but my old-school upbringing makes me shy away from it.

Dick.

That word almost makes me laugh, I may as well use "weenie".

Cock.

While not as ugly sounding as "petcock", it's kind of abrupt and not very pretty; not to mention its strange association with a rooster. Now add to this to the fact that that poor dangling thing is already lumpy and funny looking... Do I really want to use this word?

I am working on my writing in this respect. I am trying to take more chances that feel more crass, but mix all this up with the fact that my writing tends toward the romantic and you get, "she felt the heat of his breath on her sex" and "her eyes bore into his while he gently stroked his manhood."

Damn it! I just admitted to Cara I write Harlequin Romance... *sigh*

Saturday Serial - Morning Heartache

I'll be honest. This is a bit of an experiment. Saturday Serial is going to be an ongoing story -- an amalgam of truth and fiction. Two characters are being introduced and the first two episodes are based on real events. Enjoy.
______________

With a yawn Danny climbs out of bed and stretches, the quiet is disturbed by the pop of joints. He wipes the sleep from his eyes, picks up his mobile and shuffles out to the kitchen to make coffee.

After the coffee pot is started he sits down at the kitchen table to kill a little time, not ready to think about work. Twitter is still a bit new to him and he's taken an interest in it. After he sees a few good morning tweets and links to kinky photos he reads one that makes his eyebrows raise.

Just woke up at some guys house...I'm a fucking idiot I don't even know where he lives

Danny thinks, Wow, seriously? He had been only following the young woman for a short time and had not paid a lot of attention to her tweets.

<painedheart> Ok figured out where I am...cab is on the way...yeah not happy bout myself

Feeling voyeuristic he continues to read, he feels better that things seem to be back in control for the young lady. Then the heartbreak comes.

<painedheart> Gonna cry...wish I had a sister right about now :( :(
<painedheart> Definitely hurting today...what did I do
<painedheart> I used to be a good girl...what happened to me?

Typically unflappable and controlled, most of Danny's friends consider him laid-back, a person that keeps a cool head in the most chaotic situations. However he does have a weakness, a cliché, the Damsel in Distress; and the young woman's pleas strike him to the core. He feels compelled to act... but can't.

He sets his phone aside and heads for the shower and work. All day his mind returns to the young woman. Is she okay? Is she hurt? he wonders.

Initially to see if she is well Danny begins paying more attention to her tweets. Through the chatter with her friends a picture begins to emerge of a typical young woman, albeit involved in a bit of kink, facing life. However he detects something underneath he finds alluring, a special innocence... a sweetness about her. He decides to continue to follow her on Twitter.

<painedheart> Bartender likes me drunk

Oh, girl, you're not going there again already are you? he thinks. Suddenly he finds himself feeling protective. Is the bartender really trying to get her drunk? he wonders. The feeling to act is back, and this time he decides to reach out.

Words Matter...and It's All About Context

I've been thinking about the Counselor's use of the term "enjoy" in reference to my feelings about sex with JJ (If you don't know what I'm talking about, catch up by reading Kat's First Counseling Session), and it made me start thinking about the use of words in general.

Context is everything, isn't it?

For example, let's take the word "whore." Merriam-Webster defines a whore as a woman who performs sexual acts for money; a prostitute; also a promiscuous or immoral woman. Whether it's an insult or a compliment, however, depends entirely on the context. A wife who uses the word to describe her husband's mistress is clearly not using it as a compliment.  Cara uses the term with me when she's annoyed with me ("Shut up, you whore.") or when she's annoyed with someone else ("She was rude to me, that whore."). When she uses it with me, it doesn't feel like an insult or a compliment, but more like a term of endearment.  Huh?  I know.  It's strange.

Now when JJ whispers it to me ("Come on, whore, tell me how much you want it..." or "That's a good whore..."), it's definitely both a term of endearment and a compliment. But if he were to substitute its synonym "prostitute" for it, it would not work at all.  In fact, that would be big turn off for me.

What about the word "slut?" It's a lot like "whore," in the sense that it's both naughty and nice. Younger women use it as an insult for other young women, but it loses its power as an insult as a woman ages.  I haven't been insulted by the term for at least 25 years. Heck, I've known women in their 50's who consider it a badge of honor.  What a compliment to still be thought of as a slut at that age! No?  I guess it matters who's saying it, huh?

When JJ sends me a text that says, "I need my slut! Can you get away tomorrow afternoon?" I just melt inside. Yes, I melt.

What about other naughty words like cunt, cock, fuck, and so on? While they sound crude in polite conversation, they are the only words that work in certain contexts. I can't imagine purring "Oh yes, please have intercourse with me and put your your nice big penis in my vagina" (although I have met foreign men online who use language like that and it just makes me laugh). No, I would say," Oh yes, fuck me with your nice thick cock" (or something like that). I don't have intercourse.  I fuck.  On occasion, I make love.

This brings me to all of the possible words to describe "down there" in writing.  DauntlessD and I have discussed this more than once and it usually ends up as a rather funny conversation.  If you've read any of my naughty stories, you know I like the word cock to describe a man's penis.  Not Dauntless.  He insists that it sounds crude, so he prefers "manhood" and "member." Dang, I'm already giggling. Those terms just sound funny to me, but when he uses them in his writing, they seem to fit perfectly (pun intended).

(As I was writing this, I got an email from a blogger friend who referred to his cock as "my hard warrior." What is it when it's not hard? A peasant? An unarmed warrior? A farmer?)

And Ladies, no matter what term you use for it, never ever ever use the adjectives "cute," "little," or "darling," when referring to a man's cock.  Trust me on this.  I learned the hard way.  I should really say that I learned this lesson the "it's not hard anymore" way.

Finding the right word for a woman's private area is also difficult. There are not many choices.  Pussy (ok, but overused). Cunt (ok, a bit on the crude and rough side, but perfect sometimes). Vagina (too clinical). Labia (painfully clinical). After that, it's all about euphemisms - womanhood, flower.

Of course, the context matters.  I would never refer to it as my "pussy" or my "cunt" with my doctor. Nor would I refer to it as my "womanhood."

Sigh.

You would think that when it comes to sex, the words would matter less than the....uh.....sensations, but the words still matter.

***********

A word of advice to new prowlers - Be very careful about using these naughty words with a woman until you know exactly what turns her on. Some women still get offended by being called a slut, even in bed.

Kat's First Counseling Session

Those of you who have been following my saga with hubby know that he refused my offer  request for an open marriage, even though it was a perfectly reasonable solution to our little dilemma.

For those of you who missed it, our "dilemma" is that we both apparently want sex with others, and our secret little unspoken "don't ask, don't tell" arrangement was blown up by one of his girlfriends who tried to blackmail him.

Instead, he wants us to get counseling.  Yes, I can hear you all groaning now.  I groaned, too. But I agreed.  Why?  Because I love him and I want him to be happy. It's as simple as that.

The plan is that we both get individual counseling and then we come together and get couples counseling, too, after we have both been working individually for a couple of months.  Hubby started right away about 6 weeks ago.  I dragged my feet until he finally made the appointment for me. It was yesterday.

I showed up for my appointment on time, and I made the conscious decision that I would tell the counselor the truth, maybe not all on one day, but the truth nonetheless.

I have to admit, it's kind of fun to tell counselors about my life and watch their jaws drop as they try to process it.  I often think they need a counseling session after hearing mine. How often do you think they have someone come in who wants to save her marriage who has done more than her share of prowling, who writes a sex/infidelity blog, and who met her best friend on Ashley Madison? Right.  I'll bet it's not often.

So I answer her basic questions.  Married 20+ years. Kids. Work. Stress.

So far, so good.

Then she asks the questions that opens the flood gates: "How is your sex life?"

Kat: Great! But you probably are referring to my sex life with my husband, huh? That's ok.  Better now than it has been for a long time.

Counselor: (eyebrows raised in non-judgemental curiosity) You have a sex life apart from your husband?

Kat: Of course I do.

Then I tell her about JJ, and I make referrenced to "others," but I say I want to save that detail for later (seriously, I don't want to drive her to drink after the first session).

Counselor:  So, JJ meets your emotional needs.....

Kat: Well, not all of them, for goodness sake.  DauntlessD meets my emotional needs.  JJ is my really good friend...with benefits.  That's about unbelievably great, scream-and-cum-until-you-can't-anymore, awesome sex.

Counselor: (seeming a bit flustered now) Oh. So, you enjoy sex with JJ.....

(I couldn't let her get away with such an understatement as "enjoy," so I must clarify...)

Kat: No.  I don't just "enjoy" it. I look forward to it like a woman dying of thirst in a desert looks forward to water. My body responds to him like ....like....I can't describe it, really. But it's more than "enjoy."  It's closer to fan-fucking-tastic.  And he's my friend.  And I trust him. And I really do "enjoy" his company.

Counselor: (with a bead of sweat appearing on her upper lip):  I see. I stand corrected. So, JJ meets your sexual needs...is that fair to say?

(I just smile.)

Counselor:  And Dauntless meets your emotional needs.

Kat: Yes.

(I tell her more about Dauntless.)

Counselor: And your husband knows about Dauntless, but not about JJ?

Kat: yes.

Counselor: And you are here because you want to save your marriage, break it off with JJ, shift having your emotional needs met by Dauntless to Hubby, and have a better relationship with your husband, right?

Kat: Whoa! Hold the phone! No, no, no...... I definitely want to save my marriage, and I want a better relationship with my husband, and I really want Hubby to be happy, but I don't want to cut it off with JJ.  Heck, would you???? And I'm perfectly happy with my relationship with Daunt. I'm allowed to have friends, aren't I?

Counselor: (totally confused at this point) So, you want to have a better marriage while still keeping these other men in your life.

Kat:  Bingo!

(I knew she looked smarter than she was acting in the beginning.)

Long pause.....long, long, pause.......

Counselor:  This is complicated, but I think we can work with this.

Kat: Great! Can we talk about confidentiality now?  You wont share any of this with Hubby, right?

Counselor: At this point, no.  You would have to give me written permission to share any of it with him.

Kat:  Ok, thanks.  Maybe this is a good time to tell you about Ashley Madison and my sex/infidelity blog ......

Counselor: Blog? Ashley who?

I knew it wasn't the right time.  She was starting to look a bit pale.

I'll save the rest of  it for next week. ;-)

Afterwards, Hubby called and asked me how it went.  I told him, "Well, she definitely agrees we should have an open marriage, and she and I also agreed that all of our marital problems are your fault."

Hubby laughed and replied, "That's pretty much what I expected to hear. Thanks for going."

I'll go back as long as he wants me to, but I think our marriage is just fine. :-)

HNT - Wearing White Before Labor Day

Cara only has a few more days to wear white before Labor Day. So why is she taking it off?

TMI Tuesday 8/23/11 with DauntlessD

1. When you go to a party, would you rather show up accidentally underdressed or overdressed?

Underdressed. I dress in a clean-cut but casual fashion and that's how I'm comfortable. I would feel more self-conscious if I were overdressed in a group; but on the flip side I might enjoy the attention depending on the setting.

2. What is something you have won and how did you win it? (Inspired by the An Optimistic Virgin)

I just can't seem to think of an answer for this question. Only one thing comes to mind and I know I should be able to think of something better. When I was a kid I always felt unlucky, one time I won a sleeping bag at a county fair raffle, I was ecstatic. Boring huh?

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle, end, or top?

From the middle toward the bottom, and when needed I'll squeeze everything back up to the top... are we still talking about a toothpaste tube? ;-)

I am curious about this question though. Does this still irritate people like it used to? Back in the day there used to be those aluminum tooth paste tubes and squeezing it from the middle would cause some uptight folks to start foaming at the mouth and lose their minds in fury. However this was because trying to squeeze the toothpaste back to the top of the tube past the squished middle could cause the tube to break open and make a mess etc, this isn't true today with the plastic tubes.

4. What is something your parents used to say to you that you promised yourself you would never say–but now you catch yourself saying frequently?

Oh wow... I could write about this one for quite a while. "Turn off the light!", is probably the one that makes me most sound/feel like my father. An open door with the air conditioning running darn near sends me over the edge now; and every time the feeling erupts in me my dad comes to mind.

My father passed in his early 40s, roughly the same age I am now. While some of the cliché phrases he's say used to annoy, now they bring a smile and rekindle that sore spot in your heart that never seems to heal. For example, "Two wrongs don't make a right.", irritating as hell at 13, full of nostalgic wisdom today. I miss you dad.

5. What 3 lies did you regularly tell your parents? If applicable, what 3 lies do you tell your parents now?

"I don't have any homework.", "I don't have any homework.", and "I don't have any homework."

I would imagine as an adult with my mother, it's the lie we're often all guilty of, "I'm fine."

6. What is something that you intended to do today but didn’t? Why not? Will you do it tomorrow?

I'm answering my TMI questions in the morning, I haven't procrastinated on something today yet, but I'll get back to you.

7. What is something that people do in traffic that really bothers you? (inspired by My Quest To Be A Good Girl)

Speeding up to prevent me from changing lanes after I turn my turn signal on. Now I often don't bother using my turn signal when changing lanes just so people don't know what's about to happen.

8. Whose autographs have you collected? (You can stop at five, in case you’re an autograph hound or celebrity stalker).

Oh gosh, I really don't have any autographs. I used to have a couple of posters signed by a bikini model or two as a teen, but that's about it.

Right here in Sacramento, at the last place you would have ever thought, a mom and pop taco joint, I ran into Harrison Ford. I walk over to get my chips and salsa and this guy in jeans and a long sleeve shirt is in front of me. I see his profile and the stud in his ear and there is something familiar about him. Then he turns around and there I am standing face to face with Indiana Jones holding a basket of chips and a cup of salsa. He sat down an arms length away from me with a couple of friends. I would have killed to get the autograph of my biggest childhood hero, but I couldn't bring myself to pester him while he was trying to eat his burrito.

Bonus: Where do you go to find solitude, tranquility or connection to a higher power?

Twin Lakes, California, here's a photo:


Many thanks to the folks at the TMI Tuesday Blog for the fun questions!

A Toy for DauntlessD - The Review

Oh, that wily Kat... When she first told me about EdenFantasys offering her free toys to review I said, “Kat that sounds like a bunch of fun! Go for it!” Then shortly after I’m startled by an excited squeal, “OMG, Daunt! They got SLEEVES! You can do it, TOO!”

“Um, Kat, I’m confused... Sleeves? I can do what, too?”

“They got toys for men too! These sleeve things for.... um... well you know... YOU GOTTA TRY ONE AND WRITE A REVIEW!”

I chuckle, “Funny Kat, you had me going there...”

“I’m serious! Oooh I know! We’ll have a poll and let our readers choose the toy for you!”

“Whoa whoa whoa! Wait a minute.... you’re serious?”

And the rest is history... I'm getting my very own masturbation sleeve. Who knew that signing on to this blog would have me, DauntlessD, reviewing adult toys for uhh... pleasuring myself. However after thinking about it, Kat was game, so why shouldn’t I be? It’s tit-for-kat err tat.

Our readers chose me a Grip-n-Stroke, and it is rather interesting looking.

The inside of it is textured and the area where the head of my manhood would be had what appeared to be little beads. Hmm, I thought to myself, this thing might feel pretty darn good.

Turning it over both Kat and I were a bit skeptical. Size-wise for a man I am quite typical, but the opening of the sleeve was about the diameter of a penny, a Sharpie felt tip pen would almost fill the opening! I am sure the women in my life are quite thankful that length and girth of my member are much larger than a Sharpie, but how is this thing going to work? How am I going to fit?

I take the toy home. Finally I get some quiet time and access the spank-bank recesses of my mind... hmmm our lovely Kat... or maybe Cara... or maybe Kat and Cara... yeah... Fully lubed and erect I’m ready to test and...

It was hard to slip the sleeve on. At first it just seemed I was too large. The crazy Grip-n-Stroke toy seemed to be fighting me then pop, just like that I slipped in. Kat and Cara, stroke... Stroke, stroke, Cara and Kat. Oh the toy was feeling nice... However I quickly discovered that long strokes didn’t work! The head of my cock popped out the other end, and that end when not stretched is about the size of a Bic pen! Ouch!

Ok Daunt, shorter strokes, maybe that will work. Kat and Cara, stroke... Stroke, stroke, Cara and Kat. And work it did. The beaded interior rubbing against the head of my manhood was a unique feeling and it felt tight all around. And that same constriction did something unique of it’s own. When I achieved lift-off, I’m lucky I didn’t punch a hole in something. My cum shot out like it was being propelled by gunpowder.

Although I enjoyed testing the Grip-n-Stroke, in the end I decided the device wasn’t for me. It was a bit too tight, but for you guys that like that feeling give it a try; just remember to use plenty of lube. Also any size man can use it. The material this thing is made out of is amazing, it stretches like you wouldn’t believe -- I actually was able to use it as a can cooler on a beer can.

Thanks again to the folks at EdenFantasys. Be sure to check out all the sex toys they offer, I'm sure you and your honey will find something fun.

HNT - Back to School Special

Here's our sweet Cara's special HNT for Back to School time.  Don't you wish all of your teachers looked like her?

Sexting with Hubby

I'm alone in a hotel room.  Bored.  Oh, I have plenty of work to do, but I don't want to do any of it.

I snapped a naughty photo with my cell phone and sent it to my sweetie.  That was fun, but what next?

I decided to see if I could engage my hubby in a little sexting.  I knew this would be a challenge because he's an old dog and teaching him new tricks is not easy. Heck, I just got him to start texting within the last year, and he still doesn't feel comfortable with email.  Anyway, here is how it went....

Kat: (via text)  Hi, Honey.

Hubby: Hi.

Kat:  Wanna try some sexting?

Hubby: ok

(I never said his texting skills were advanced, did I?)

Then I texted him this funky little photo (just like you see it here):

Hubby: Very nice

Kat: So where's mine?

While I waited for a return text, the phone rang. It was hubby.

Hubby: I thought sexting was all about words, not pictures.

Kat:  You didn't like the picture?

Hubby:  Yeah, I liked it. Can you send another?

Kat: After you send me one.

Hubby: (after a long pause)  Isn't that illegal?

Kat:  What????  No, it's not illegal.

Hubby:  I've heard that it is illegal to share dirty pictures over the internet.

Kat: First of all, this is text, not the internet, but even if it were, there is nothing illegal about a husband and wife sharing naughty pictures with each other. It's only illegal if one of the parties is under age.

Hubby:  Well, I don't want any of my naked pictures out there on the internet.

Kat:  This isn't the internet! It's a text! And you don't want your picture out there, but you're ok with mine being out there?

Hubby:  Yeah.  Can you send another?

Kat: (sigh) Let's forget about the pictures.  You said you thought sexting was about words, so ok.  Let's text some naughty words to each other tonight.

Hubby:  Ok.  (long pause)  What should I write?

Kat: You have to decide that.  If I tell you what to write, it's not as sexy.  I might as well just write to myself...and that would be like text masturbation, not sexting.

Hubby: Are you going to be masturbating when you read my naughty words?

Kat:  I don't know!  At this pace, it will be tomorrow before we start and then I'll be home.

Hubby:  Good.  I'd rather have sex than text nasty words.

Kat: Me, too, dear, but I'm alone in a hotel room so that's not an option right now.

Hubby:  How do I know you're really alone?

Kat: Do you really think I'd be having this conversation with you if I had some hot guy here?  Seriously???

Hubby: Ok, ok.....Let's get back to the sexting stuff. (pause)  What should I write?

Kat: (sigh)  Nevermind. The mood has passed.

Hubby:  Oh. Will you text me another dirty picture?

Reunion

It had been over 2 weeks since I had last seen him. His job, my job, family commitments - there were plenty of reasons for it, but it didn't matter to me anymore. So I broke one of my own rules. I sent him a text that said, "If I can arrange to get away for a few hours on Saturday, can you?"

His answer came back. "Yes!!!"

I smiled. Finally, I'd get to see JJ again, and I didn't care if I had to break a rule to do it.

Saturdays are family time. If I'm not working, the day is for my kids. I've never met for play on a Saturday. Until now.

We arranged a time and I arranged my alibi. When Saturday arrived, I kissed my youngest goodbye, told hubby I'd be back in a few hours, tucked a bottle of lube in my purse, and drove away. As I was turning onto the highway, I heard the words of my son and husband reverberating in my head, "Why do you have to go, Mommy? It's Saturday." "Have fun, and hurry home!"

I'm not one for guilt, but that one was hard. Still, I kept driving. I had been aching for him for over a week. I wasn't going back now that I was just a few minutes away from being with him again. Oh, and by "being with him" I mean, "feeling his thick hard cock pounding me from behind while I cum."  ;-)

When I drove into the parking lot of our regular hotel, I saw his car immediately and my heart jumped. I texted him that I was there, parked and practically skipped up the walkway and into the lobby.

He was standing at the front desk talking to Strange Hotel Guy about something. My breath caught in my throat when I saw him. Long shorts, T-shirt, that ball cap he always wore. I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him, but I knew I had to wait, so I greeted him and just leaned my head against his shoulder. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. Man, I had missed him even more than I thought.

Strange Hotel Guy was having trouble with the computer. That was annoying, but not surprising. I could tell by the look on his face and the tone of his voice that JJ was not happy and losing patience. I decided to let him deal with it while I pressed against him and inhaled his scent.

Soon, Strange Hotel Guy's wife showed up. She gave her husband some direction and then she started making small talk with me. We're regulars here. They know us. As much as Strange Hotel Guy creeps me out, I really have grown fond of his wife. I like her even more when she says to her husband, "Just give them a room. We can figure it out later." She and I smiled at each other. It doesn't bother me at all anymore that they both know exactly what we'll be doing in just a few minutes. It just feels perfectly natural.

We finally got a room (and it happened to be our regular room). After a few minutes of niceties and small talk (we had some catching up to do!), we were naked in bed and kissing.

There are some things that no lover I've ever had does quite like JJ, and kissing is one of those things.

I relaxed as he wrapped his strong arms around me and just let myself melt into his kiss. It was familiar, and just as sensual as ever. He reached down and started playing with my pussy.  He moaned as his finger slid between the wet lips.  I moaned as his finger grazed my already swollen clit. I turned my hips and opened my legs to give his easier access.  His lips never left mine, and I inhaled deeply, inhaling as he exhaled, breathing him in.

It didn't surprise me at all that I came so quickly because I had been looking forward to this for quite a while, but I was a little surprised that as he kept going, I kept cuming...again...again....I grabbed onto his shoulders and I had to stop myself from digging my fingernails too far into his skin.  No marks.  That's the deal. I screamed into his mouth. He held me tighter as I shuddered and my screaming became whimpering.

I reached down and found his cock, hard and throbbing. He gasped a little as I started stroking him.

"How do you want me?" I asked.

"Any way you want.  You decide," he whispered.

I giggled, "You know what my favorite is...."

Without saying a word, he sat up, got on his knees and moved behind me and I rolled over onto my knees and leaned forward onto my forearms. As he slid his thick cock inside me, I thought that as nice as new cock is, there's something truly wonderful about the feel of the familiar, of knowing what to expect, of knowing that you're about to feel the extraordinary pleasure that only this man can give.

After a few hard strokes, I couldn't think of anything but the sensation, the pleasure. I came again, bucking back against him.  As I felt his fingers tighten on my hips, I knew what was coming next.  He groaned loudly and thrust forcefully into me several times, each one hard...deep...lingering.

He pulled out a minute later and leaned over and kissed my back before collapsing next to me. I curled up next to him and he wrapped his arms around me again as I snuggled against him.  Time for more kissing (I can never get enough of that.  Honestly, I can't.) and then we talked about life, how much we missed each other, what our plans were for the next week.

After a little while I reached over to the night stand and grabbed some lube, dribbled some onto his cock, and started stroking him slowly as he talked. Soon, his talking slowed down.  Then it stopped altogether.  Our kissing became deeper and more intense.

He whispered (damn, I melt when that man whispers to me!), "I want your ass...."

I purred.  Those are just about my favorite words in the world to hear from him, next to .....well....those other words are just between us.

I know this is cruel, but I'm not going to write about the detail of the long, hard, incredibly amazing ass fucking he gave me, except to say that no one in this world fucks my ass like he does.  No one.

Afterward, we looked at the clock and realized we still had an hour before we had to leave.  Wow!  Usually, we were fighting against the clock, but that afternoon, time was on our side, for once. We did more talking, kissing, and yes, he fucked my ass one more time before we had to part.

We talked about when we might see each other again. We got dressed and left, and JJ even took a moment to say goodbye to Strange Hotel Guy as we walked through the lobby.

He walked me to my car and kissed me goodbye. Even his goodbye kiss was seductive, leaving me a little dazed and breathless when it was over.

I drove home with a smile on my face and Santana's Supernatural blaring on the CD player. All was good when I got home. I hugged my little one, kissed my husband, and nodded "Hey" to the teenagers, waiting until they grunted in response before I closed the door to their room again.

What an awesome Saturday.

HNT - Swim Suit Optional

I know I'm late, but the reward is a 2-for-1.  That's the deal we have, right?

Sweet Cara took the opportunity to shed her swim suit when she could. Click the pic for your treat.

Don't You Hate It When .....

... you come home from having some amazing sex with your lover to find your Pastor in your living room talking with your husband, and you say hello and try to excuse yourself so you can get a quick shower because you don't want either of these men to smell the sex on you, but the Pastor asks you to join them, so you do and they talk and talk and talk until the Pastor starts wrapping it up like he's going to leave so you stand up but the Pastor says, "Let's offer a prayer together before I go" so you sit down again and your husband takes one hand and the Pastor takes your other hand and they take each other's free hands so you have a little prayer circle thing going on, and while the Pastor is saying the prayer, you feel your lover's cum oozing out of your ass....?

I hate it when that happens!

Where is SomewhereMan?

If you went looking for SomewhereMan's blog in the last couple of day, here's what you saw:

That's because SomewhereMan has decided to kill his blog.  I was very disappointed because I loved reading his blog.  It had everything I look for - great writing, great stories, and steamy sex talk.

However, my buddy SomewhereMan made a decision.  Since a couple of people have asked me about it, I'm publishing SomewhereMan's reasons for his decision. And, as you know, his stuff is always good reading, so enjoy....even if it's a little sad that we won't get to read about his daily escapades anymore.

*****************

I kept running on Tuesday night.

And the answers became more and more clear with each step, as "Throwing It All Away" by Genesis rattled around my skull.  Such a fitting song, given my station in life.

I had to kill the blog.

HAD to.

I trotted six miles on Tuesday, laced with sweat and exhausted.  With each stride, it was time to kill this monster that I had been feeding for a whole six weeks.

That's really it.  Six weeks.

I loved the writing -- adored the level of craftsmanship that I tried to put into the posts, between my experiences and the fantasies. 

A note: Only the dear Kat knows this about me but I am actually a published novelist.  I've had three books "out", nationally, and have written two others that will probably never see the light of day.  Writing is in my blood but in my books, with my name attached, I have to be somewhat muted.  Somewhat discreet.

This forum gave me total control over the person I had become.  I could be honest, biting, sarcastic and petty.  All of the characteristics I cannot be in my "real" life. 

I loved it.

However, once the end of the Charlotte Series hit on July 26, I had gotten all of the angst out.  My ED day in the hotel back in early June led me to Riff Dog's blog -- which then led me to Shackled Kat.

Kat reached out to me, as I was pouring my guts out on Riff Dog's forum.  We've actually become pretty good friends and I know that will continue.  :)  Kat...you rock and you don't scold me too much when I screw up my prowling.

Yet I had hit the real point of diminishing returns with my writing.  I knew that, post-Charlotte, I was going to lose my edge.

The other women (from my story) have had explosive endings but I never was really that into them:

- Angela, 27.  She never got that sarcasm doesn't work in texting.  I'd ask how her day would be going and she's reply.  "Fine" or "Good".  A little help here.  On June 23, she sent me a picture of herself and her husband.  Uh... I know the guy!  He's a cop in my city.  The next day, I broke her off, five days before our planned meeting.  Her words, "That's why I'll never trust again".  Coo-coo.

- Kathy, 41.  After an outstanding five days of emailing and two make-out sessions (she is beautiful, tan and trim), I sent her an email for an "hour-long meeting" proposal.  We live 100 miles apart and I "stack my workday" where I'll be close to her.  I have to drive 80.  She has to drive 20 on one road.  ONE road.  Karen gets lost on this one road.  She is now 20 minutes late.  Then 30.  Then 40.  "I don't know where I'm going!  F*** this!" her angry texts are flowing.  Finally, I say that I have to head back to my city.

"You f*&#! ditched me!  Thanks a lot!  I'm still lost, a##hole!" 

Um, if you're yelling at me now because you got lost on a simple 20-mile-on-one-road trip, what's it going to be when I dump your ass in a few months?  Using that as the background, we agreed to not go any further.  That moment turned her into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction in my mind.

I've felt this odd, conflicted personality over the past few days.  Not over the prowling.  Isn't that unusual?  The most unusual (hypocritical?) element here is that I'm a church-going Christian.  As in a "reborn" we-do-our-baptisms-by-choice-as-adults-and-not-when-we're-infants-and-have-no-real-say Christian.

Yet I'm at peace with my "side action" because of my home life.  My wife is abusive -- she hits me, on occasion.  Swears at me in front of our young children.  Overall, she is Owen's mom from Throw Momma From The Train (my first post).  Really.  That's no B.S.

Somewhere between mile 3 and 4 on Tuesday night, I truly realized that the blog will only destroy me if I keep it up.  I will get very little true "benefit" from it.  My stress and self-doubt from Charlotte have faded, largely because I was able to get the feelings out.  VERY therapeutic and satisfying to "get it out there".

But, now, the blog can only serve as my guillotine.  If it's discovered, I'll lose more than my marriage -- a marriage I plan to kill within 36 months, anyway.  If it's out there, I'll lose my job, my career, my future... on top of my marriage and my kids.

Guido The Killer Pimp from Risky Business once said, "never f*&^ with a man's livelihood".

Well, I've been f*&^ing with mine plenty.

I've dodged so many bullets since April and, only now, and I truly realizing it.  All of the women I've met have stayed quiet.  None have gone crazy on me, although they could squash me like a grape.

Yet I also won't deny the benefits of my last four months.  My confidence is through the roof.  I walk into a grocery store and can see the eyes of the "pretty mommies" crossing mine.  As I've said, I'm not Bradley Cooper but I do take care of myself.  When the pendulum swings at 40, I know I'll be on the "good side of it".  :)

For that confidence, I simply have to look back at my life the last decade.  Starved for sex.  Treated horribly at home.  Until my A.M. women, it had been nearly a decade since I'd been allowed to go down on a woman.  Seriously!  I'd do it every day if I could.  I've been through domestic hell and have battled through for two purposes: 1) my kids -- as they deserve to have the stable parent "here" and 2) my future finances -- if I go now, I'll get cleaned out.  If I go in two years, I'll be okay.

The threat of exposure is the overriding factor, even more than simply having nothing to say.

I got an email today from someone who said, "interesting.  You aren't worried about getting caught by family but you are by these women".

I guess that's true.

Right now, I have two women (likely one, sadly, more on that in a second) that I am "involved" with.  Keeping them quiet ("in line" is a harsh phrase) is tough enough as it is.  I know the odds are minuscule of them finding out about my blogging but why push it?

Especially when it could tear the other elements of my life down?  I'd fall apart like an old farmhouse in a twister.

That's why I am "out".  Fear of exposure although I suppose that fear is no larger nor greater than it was six weeks ago.  Maybe I'm just being paranoid.  Maybe I'm just getting all of my ducks in a row before the eventual split.  Maybe I cannot stand the thought of my kids coming across the blog one day.

Maybe.  Maybe.  Maybe.

But I had to kill it.

For myself.

:)

HNT - Breathtaking

Breathtaking. That's all I can say about this stunning picture of beautiful Cara.

TMI Tuesday 8/2/11 with DauntlessD

1. What is your favorite summer clothing item or outfit?

Shh, I have a little secret I'll let you in on. I take my personal fashion very seriously. That laughter you hear is from the people that know me well. My clothing changes very little with the seasons, I'm sure this is in part due to living in California. I like to be comfortable, jeans and loose fitting camp shirts; or maybe a nice looking t-shirt. Oops, there it is you're yawning already... As for the ladies, I love how their clothing changes with the season. I believe I've mentioned this before, but when the weather starts warming up and the sundresses come out I absolutely love that. Sure the sundress can show a bit more skin, but the best ones aren't typically revealing. The combination of the warm weather, the light fabric and the comfort and freedom of movement offered by them just seems to capture that essence of raw feminine beauty. I love it seeing a woman whose comfortable in her surroundings, laughing with a sundress that is close fitting around the waist showing the swell of her hips. *sigh* wow, good stuff!

2. Did you or will you take a summer vacation? If yes, where did you go?

Yes I did take a vacation this year. I spent 3 weeks in South America visiting family. I had a wonderful time and spent some lazy days on picturesque tropical beaches.

3. What is your ideal weekend away (e.g. city, beach or wilderness)?

This is really a difficult decision for me, primarily between the beach or the wilderness. But if you made me choose for a weekend getaway I would choose the wilderness. I love being away camping. Now if California had some beaches like those I spent time at last month, I'd be camping on the beach!

4. What would you pack for a naughty weekend?

That's easy, a bag of ice, surgical tubing and clothes-pins. Haha, had you going didn't I? For a naughty weekend, I think the gal I wanted to spend it with would be number 1 on my list.

5. What item(s) do you never unpack, never take out of the luggage from trip to trip?

Oh gosh... Well at first I was going to say that extra pair of underwear, because well... ya never know what might happen. But those get unpacked. So it would have to be that pack of handy-wipes; those things are just handy to have on hand so they get toted around even if they go unused.

Bonus: Last vacation sex… Tell us what happened

Well the pop-up camper was a rockin' and those things don't have the thickest walls ya know?

Bonus: Which celebrity would you like to be locked in a hotel room with for 24 hours and what would you do to them.

Lake Bell. I fell in love with her while watching that TV show Surface. I almost forgot about her until she happened to pop-up on the news again recently. What would I do to her?! It would be easier to answer what I wouldn't do!

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Don't forget to check out the TMI Tuesday blog to see how other bloggers answered the questions.

TMI Tuesday for August 2, 2011 - Summertime with Kat

1. What is your favorite summer clothing item or outfit?

My San Francisco Giants jersey, of course! Following that would be any Giants gear.

2. Did you or will you take a summer vacation? If yes, where did you go?

No summer vacation for me this year. Boohoo. 

3. What is your ideal weekend away (e.g. city, beach or wilderness)?

I love the beaches of northern California and anywhere near the ocean. Monterey Bay is my favorite. There’s a little hotel there right on the sand where you can hear the ocean all night and watch the moonlight reflecting on the waves. Mmmmm......I think heaven must be like that.

4. What would you pack for a naughty weekend?

Sexy negligee, lube, a toy or two, some clothes and shoes for walking on the beach or hiking. If it was a really naughty weekend, I might also pack some scarves to serve as blindfolds and restraints.

5. What item(s) do you never unpack, never take out of the luggage from trip to trip?

I travel frequently for work, so I have a bag that is always packed with duplicates of the essentials - makeup, shampoo, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, hairspray, basic over the counter cold medication (you never have it on the road when you need it, ya know?), lube (It's not only the Boy Scouts who think one should always “be prepared”), and a bag of microwave popcorn (for those late night munchies - most hotels give you microwave access now). When I need to go somewhere, either for work or play, I just throw in some clothes and go.

Bonus: Last vacation sex… Tell us what happened

Gee, this had to be a couple of years ago.  I was on a two week cruise with my husband. During the first week we ran ourselves ragged with shore excursions and ship activities. We spent most of the second week in bed, having sex 2-3 times a day and lounging around naked. Hmmm....actually, I think heaven must be like that.

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Visit the TMI Tuesday site to see how other bloggers answered these questions, too!

TMI for August 2, 2011 - Summertime with Cara

Cara loves summertime, so it's not surprising that she was the first to get her TMI questions answered.

1.What is your favorite summer clothing item or outfit?

My favorite thing to wear in the summer is a strapless dress, such as in the photo here or in last week's HNT photo. As far as I'm concerned, I can never have too many strapless dresses. Why? Because I hate the look of tan lines on my shoulders.:-)

2. Did you or will you take a summer vacation? If yes, where did you go?

This summer, I took several mini-vacations. I went to Half Moon Bay, Capitola, Pismo Beach, Santa Cruz, and LA. It's hot in the summer where I live, so I love to take little getaways to the beach.

3. What is your ideal weekend away (e.g. city, beach or wilderness)?

I prefer going to beach towns because I love to shop. I am not much of a camper, unless I go with my parents so that they can do all the work, but on the whole, I'd rather be in a hotel or B&B. And if we're talking "ideal" it'd be a 4 star hotel or Bed & Breakfast from the Select Registry  book of Inns. I LOVE nothing more than staying in a nice hotel or B&B.
(Note from Kat: This week's HNT photo of Cara was taken last weekend at a B&B in Half Moon Bay.  The picture is breathtaking.  Don't miss it!)

4. What would you pack for a naughty weekend?

Toothbrush, toothpaste, and Astroglide.

5. What item(s) do you never unpack, never take out of the luggage from trip to trip?

I unpack everything. I'm somewhat of a neat freak (can one be "somewhat" of a neatfreak, or is like being "somewhat pregnant"?), and as such, like to have everything in it's designated spot. :-)

The Art that is Woman

I adore those occasions when the beauty of women catches me off guard.

Now let me be clear, I don't mean those fun, sophomoric occasions like when a woman's boob pops out of her top. Of course I have fond memories of those moments, too. Like while at the Jr. High graduation trip to the water park. Dee, a popular blond who probably didn't even know I existed, happened to be behind me in line for the water slide. Dee crashed into the pool moments behind me, then arose before me out of the bubbling water with her bikini top askew. *sigh* Memories of a young Daunt. Good times.

No, I am not talking about just more skin, I am talking about those surprising unexpected times that cause your breath to catch and you freeze hoping to draw out the moment so you can savor it as long as possible. Those candid, delightfully simple times that you catch a glimpse of the art that is Woman.

I was lucky enough to have one of those brief, lovely interludes this morning. Sacramento can get quite hot in the summer but as of late the mornings have been very nice. I pulled into the office parking lot and parked in the same spot I park every day; it was your typical Monday morning. I put my coffee cup in the cup-holder and noted the slight smell of cut grass. Upon pulling the parking brake I turned my head to the right. Looking out the passenger window all the thoughts of me and my day danced off into the ether as I sat mesmerized by the little movie playing out for an audience of one. Me.

Four parking spaces down, under the filtered morning light of the trees, a woman stood next to the open back door of her SUV. At first I didn't think much of it, I had seen her before; we work at the same office building. She is attractive, but not unusually so; probably in her 30s and brunette. Of course she was dressed professionally, smoke gray knee length skirt, white blouse and a black light knit sweater. Then it happened. Oblivious and totally without intent or knowledge, she cast a spell that froze me in place. She bent her knee, raising her lovely bare calf behind her, then reached down and removed her right shoe. Then reached in the car, set a black pump on the pavement and gently slipped her bare foot into it. She repeated the process for the left foot. Time had slowed so my eyes could drink in the lines of her calves, the smooth skin, the arch of her dainty feet. Thunk, and like the snap of of hypnotist's fingers, the car door shutting awakens me from a daze. She picks up her laptop bag, turns and strides toward the office building's doors.

It is interesting to ponder that she had no idea I was watching and that she likely thought nothing of it. I am sure she had no idea how graceful she moved and how beautiful she was . She had no idea that in that moment she was a work of art.

I shake my head, suddenly aware I'm breathing again and the thoughts about my day begin to try and crowd their way back into my head. I smile, for the time being they don't have a chance. My mind is lingering on the art... the art that is Woman.