Saturday, October 8, 2011

Cheaters Getting Caught

I've heard many stories from people about how they were caught by their spouses while prowling. In almost all of these cases, the prowler thought that the spouse had absolutely no idea what was going on and was very surprised to be caught.

Never forget- You must assume that your spouse is smarter than you think s/he is. If you don't, you will undoubtedly end up in trouble.

Here are a few real life stories I've heard of ways people have been caught cheating. Some of these are men I've known personally.  Others are people I've known, either online or in person, who shared what happened to them.

GPS Tracking - One woman told me that she was caught by her husband when he became suspicious and decided to track her via GPS. I don't know if he installed a tracking device in her car or if he simply tracked her via her smart phone, but he tracked her to a hotel where he confronted her.

Phone bill - One man told me that his wife, who never had paid any attention to the cell phone bill before, looked over the cell phone bill and saw hundreds of texts and calls to and from the same number.  Curious, she called the number and a woman answered.  Later, she checked her husband's cell phone, and that number was associated with a woman's name.  That's when she confronted him.

Call log and texts- Another man told me that his wife looked at the call log on his phone and saw a bunch of calls, incoming and outgoing, associated with a woman's name.  While she was looking through his phone, an explicitly naughty text from that woman came through.

Spouse following him - One man recounted how his wife saw him leave work and she followed him, thinking he was going to participate in a recreational activity they enjoyed. When he went to a hotel instead, she confronted him.

Blackmail attempt - One man (if you've been reading this  blog for a while, you know who this is) was blackmailed by one of his fuck buddies who said she would tell his wife everything unless he gave her a certain amount of money. Instead of giving in to the threats, he chose to tell his wife instead so she would hear it from him and not the other woman.

Bodily fluids and scent on clothes in the laundry - One man's wife confronted him while she was doing the laundry after she found some of his clothes that smelled like sex.  As she went through the clothes more carefully, she saw some stained with bodily fluids, too.

Reported by a friend - One woman was enjoying lunch with her lover at a popular restaurant about 20 miles from where she lived. She felt it was safe because it wasn't in her home town, so she and her lover were being particularly demonstrative - holding hands, kissing, etc. What she didn't know was that one of her husband's friends was in the restaurant, too.  He recognized her and witnessed everything.  Then he called her husband.  Her husband confronted her as soon as she got home.

Email - One man accidentally forgot to close and sign out of his email account when he left the house.  His wife went to use the computer and saw a long list of emails from his lover on the screen.  She read them all.  Then she looked at the sent messages and she read all of those. She called him and confronted him over the phone while he was at work.

To the best of my knowledge, all but one of these couples (husband and wife) are still together, but only two of the caught prowlers kept their lovers.

When you add these to all of the stories you've been told and all the things you've read about and seen on TV, you should get the message that it's pretty easy to get caught. Some of these folks were just careless, but others had spouses who were not as stupid as their prowling spouses thought they were.

Have you ever been caught?  What happened? Have you ever known someone who was caught? Please share with us in the comments.


For some advice to help you avoid being caught, visit our Advice for Prowlers page.


Holly S said...

I could write a book on this subject! The first time I got caught hubby was suspicious because I seemed so happy. I thought texting was safe because the paper bill only showed total texts per month. I didn't know that the online account billing info was more detailed and showed each phone number associated with each text. And although I had been careful to use cash for hotels and restaurants, I paid for gas out of town with a credit card twice without even thinking about it. So that was the first time I got caught. After that went to calls only on skype and no texting. The second time I got caught he hid a gps tracker the size of a cell phone in my car. Then he also started watching the mileage on my car. Most recently he found out that I read sex blogs. He has some kind of program installed on our wireless router at home (to monitor our kids' Internet use) but I didn't know about it until he saw all the URLs I was looking at. Now I only go online at home through 3G on my phone and only use my laptop at work. I've learned you can't be too careful and if you have a very tech-savvy spouse watch out!

Anonymous said...

Start by asking yourself this would I catch me? Ok, now try and figure out the 6 other ways you didn't jump right to.

This thing we do is like crime. You can act like an impulsive convenience store robber or a jewel thief. Act like you're being watched 24hrs a day. Don't take plotting at the office for granted as a safe spot...its not.

I have over 15yrs experience in this without so much as a a raised eyebrow...but I act like she's totally on to me. That is why I haven't been caught.

Naughty Kitty said...

My Ex lover XXX always warned me about all the possibilities that you and Holly discussed. My husband is not tech savvy at all. The GPS scares me though.

Any way I can stay a step ahead?

P.S. Holly, for some reason I can't comment on your blog. Just wanted to let you know in case others are having the same problem.

Clem said...

one word: TrackFone

Liam said...

Great topic, Kat, but one that I hope I never have anything to contribute to.

Elle said...

I still think my ex takes the cake: He used MY cell phone to make and receive texts. Dumbass,

Tom said...

It's crazy the effort some people will go through to find a cheater, rather than address the underlying problems that are causing the other person to want to cheat!

Naughty Kitty said...

Elle, that made me laugh out loud! Funny!

Kat said...

Great comments Everyone!

Anon 4:45 - Great advice to act like you're being watched all the time. The only thing is that I am being watched or monitored all the time...and it sucks.

Elle- That was hilarious. That really happened? Seriously?

Elle said...

It really happened. Sigh. I was more embarrassed to be dating an idiot than to be dating a cheater.

Liam said...

> Spouse following him - One man
> recounted how his wife saw him
> leave work and she followed him,
> thinking he was going to
> participate in a recreational
> activity they enjoyed.

Well, he WAS going to participate in a recreational activity they enjoyed. Just not with her.