Too Old? Too Young?

I got an email recently from a reader that said, "I was hoping my age wouldn't scare you away. I know you like them older." He's 30.

That got me thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of men of different age groups. My young reader was right when he said that I like older men.  In fact, until fairly recently, I was pretty much only interested in older men. But then some younger guys got my attention and I've had to re-evaluate my preferences. 

People change. I was 20 when I first developed my preference for "older men," which I considered to be 40-60 at that time.  I'm in my late (ahem) 40's now and, let's just face it, there aren't as many eligible and desirable men who are older than me now, certainly not as many as there were 25 years ago. As I have broadened my preference range, I've noticed there are some really desirable features in all age groups.

For ease of discussion, I'll divide men into three groups: younger (18-39), older (50-65), and contemporaries (40-49).

The younger guys have some obvious advantages - enthusiasm, energy, stamina, willingness to experiment. Many also have hard, young men's bodies, which is very nice, of course. Young men don't have a corner on these characteristics, though.  The men I've been with who had the most stamina were 50 and 63 years old. The biggest disadvantage of younger men is that most really don't know how to please a woman yet, but they think they know.  Those who do know something about giving a woman pleasure only have one or two tricks in their little toolboxes.

Older men also have some great advantages. The most notable advantage is that most know their way around a woman's body. There is just no substitute for this. All the energy in the world can't beat a man who knows exactly how to make me scream with pleasure. Older men are also usually settled in their careers and they have great advice to give.  I'm not kidding.  I've received some of the best business and accounting advice from older men while resting in bed between "sessions."

I think the trick with older men is to find the ones who are not "old" yet.  And if you are a man between 50 and 65, you need to do what you need to do to keep from getting prematurely "old."  The two men I referred to above with the great stamina are definitely not old.  One is still a competing triathlete at the age of 63 (wow!) and the other used to be a competitive speed boat racer. He doesn't race anymore, but he has stayed very active in that world.

The biggest surprise for me has been getting to know my contemporaries. These men who are in their 40's now are the ones I was supposed to have been dating 25 years ago, but I gave then no attention at all because I thought they were too young for me. They are between the younger and the older and they seem to have the advantages of both without most of the disadvantages of either group. The thing that really surprised me is that I have a lot in common with this age group (I know, it's a no brainer, but I just figured it out).  We understand the same cultural references and are familiar with the same music.

Those with whom I have developed long term, close relationships (DauntlessD, Webcam Guy, JJ) are in this group.

Now that I've said all that, I'll confuse you further with my belief that chronological age doesn't matter if you're looking for a long term relationship of any kind with someone. If you just want a quick roll in the hay, go with your preference, but for a longer term relationship, it's not about age.  It's about enthusiasm, caring, selflessness,character, sense of humor, and a bunch of other characteristics that have nothing to do with age.

My mom used to tell me and my siblings, "You won't be able to attract the kind of man/woman you want until you become the kind of man/woman that he/she would want."

If there's something you need to do to better yourself, do it.  Get off the couch.  Learn something. Meet people. Engage with life.

Then you'll be interesting, regardless of your age.

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Read Advice for Prowlers to learn a few things about successful prowling.