I met R on Ashley Madison. He was a great guy. In his 60's. Fit. Married for 40 years. Fun. Smart. A good provider. He loved his wife very, very much. She was his best friend. The only problem he had at home was the lack of sex and lackluster sex, and those had been problems for decades. In recent years, he had tried everything -talking with her, encouraging her, and even several years of couples therapy. The conclusion was "that's just how she is."
It was at that point that R went on AM looking for more. I was skeptical when we met, both because of his age (I have a 60+ honey at home, ya know) and the fact that he had been having less that fabulous sex for so long. Maybe he wasn't as good as he thought he was. He didn't have much feedback to go on. I know it seems a bit shallow to have thought such things, but I'm just telling you the truth. At that point in my life, I was looking for a "friend with benefits" situation so the quality of the "benefits" mattered.
I was very pleasantly surprised. He was an amazing lover! He was generous and patient. He had an unbelievable amount of stamina and, I have to say it, a cock that was well above average in size (both length and girth). And yes, he definitely knew how to use it - and his fingers...and his tongue.
After being with him about three times, I started to think, "What the heck is wrong with his wife? I know women who would kill to have this man at home. He's the whole package."
Everything was going along nicely until his wife, P, found out. She didn't take it well. Apparently things were not pretty for awhile. He continued to see me, being more careful.
R told her why he was having an affair. He confirmed that he loved her and he didn't want to lose her, but she couldn't argue that he had tried everything he could think of to improve their sex life and she had just refused to make a change, and he couldn't stand it anymore. I am sure that was as difficult a thing to say as it was to hear.
After an initial period of anger and tears, something happened. She started fighting for her husband - in the bedroom. Apparently, the conclusion that "that's just how she is" was wrong. That was how she was choosing to be, but faced with the prospect of sharing her husband with another woman (and a younger one at that), she decided to make an effort. And things started to change. Both the frequency and the quality of their sex improved.
I have to admit, I was proud of her! She didn't just lay down and cry, she decided to do what she could to give her husband what he wanted to he wouldn't want another woman. She was going to fight for 40 years of marriage and all of the wonderful things they shared.
When she caught him again, he finally cut things off with me for good. I haven't heard from him since, but I know for certain that their marriage is better because of the affair he had. It was the shake up P needed to get out of her comfort zone and take her husband's sexual needs seriously.
Now, it could easily have gone the other way and many couples end up in divorce court instead of wedded bliss after an affair, but my point is that it doesn't always mean divorce. Not only can marriages stay together after an affair, but sometimes they are even better than they were before. That is how it was for R and P.