Friday, January 28, 2011

10 Things That Really Turn Me On

I was having a conversation with someone recently about things that turn people on, and I found it very interesting how people are so different.  Things that turn on one person  can be a complete turn off for someone else.

So, because this blog is all about, well, me, I thought I'd share with my fellow prowlers the things that really turn me on.  I'm going to stop at 10 because the list could get pretty long.

  1. Confidence - This no joke.  Nothing gets me hotter than a confident man. Just about everything else pales next to confidence. I've met some amazingly good looking men who did nothing for me because they were afraid of their own shadow, and I've met some men who others might not consider as attractive who could twist me around their little fingers because of their confidence.
  2. Intelligence - You have probably figured out that I have a thing for smart men.  I really do. Not only does intelligence usually mean a man is quite creative in bed, but it's intriguing.  It's the signal to me that there is really something interesting to discover, both in and out of bed. Heck, I've been chatting with one guy for almost two weeks who won't even tell me his name, but he's smart and witty and I'm dying to know more (Dear Mr. No-Name, please don't think this means I'll let this go on forever without a name).
  3. A Sexy Voice - Almost 17 years ago, I met a man online with the sexiest voice I've ever heard in my life.  We had incredible phone sex, as you might imagine (yes, a phone sex post is coming). We have never met in person and our relationship has developed into a friendship, but I still get wet whenever I hear his voice. My, my. my!  I also can't resist a sexy voice whispering sweet nothings in the dark.
  4. Domination - I'm not just talking about BDSM here (although I like a little D/s role play from time to time), but I get seriously turned on by a man who takes charge. Here's the deal.  I'm in control in most areas of my life.  I really need a man to be a man.  That said, I can be up for a little role reversal, too, but start off by taking charge.
  5. Nipple play - OMG! I'm one of those very fortunate women whose nipples are so sensitive that she can almost cum from nipple play alone, yet many of you guys neglect that. Our tits aren't just for you, ya know.
  6. Hair Pulling - Maybe this is related to the domination thing.  I don't know. I do know, however, that I love it.  I discovered this by accident when a lover grabbed me by the hair 20 years ago.  What a pleasant surprise! Gentlemen, here's a tip for you on hair pulling - grab firmly close to the scalp.  It gives you more control and that is the turn on. Jerking it by the edges is just annoying and it leaves bruises.
  7. Kissing - I don't mean a little kissing. I'm talking about those hot, deep, wet kisses that last three days. No matter how stressed, tired, or preoccupied I am, some deep kissing (with a dominant, confident man who grabs me by the hair on the back of the head at the same time) always gets me in the mood.
  8. Passion/Desire -  As a young woman, I used to think that being turned on led to passion and desire, but I have changed my mind on that.  Those of you who have experienced a long term relationship with someone who isn't interested in sex at all know how much of turn on it for someone to want you. I guess it's easier to recognize when you've lost it, but being with a man who actually wants sex, with me, is hot. And when he shows that by being enthusiastic and passionate in!
  9. Generosity - Some guys just want to get what they want and be done with it.  Of course, these men are idiots (yes, you can quote me on that) because they fail to understand that the more they please their partner, the more pleasure they will get. A man who makes sure that I am enjoying our time together turns me on, and makes me want to go out of my way to please him. It's quite simple.
  10. Experimentation - I like to try and learn new things.  I'm not saying that plain old, sweet missionary style can't be great (because it really can), but willingness to try something new and different is a big turn on. That brings us right back to confidence, doesn't it? If you're not confident enough to get a little crazy and experiment a bit, how will you ever know what really turns you on?
Now, if you recognize a lot of the items on this list from 13 Reasons Why J Was the Best Ever, you have been paying attention.  Kudos to you!

You may wonder why some things are missing from the list like a nice, big, hard cock. Try reading Does Size Matter? and you'll have your answer.

Yes, my list of 10 Things That Really Turn Me Off is coming soon.


Master_Vyle said...

In My experience 6 and 10 usually go hand in hand with 4. Nice list. I almost have it all. ;) Nine out of ten ain't bad. My voice sucks but doing things under the heading of 9 and 10 would quickly make you forget. :P

-Master Vyle

Kat said...

Hi Master---
You're right, of course. 6 and 10 go with 4, but so does 5, don't you think? And lots of 9 and 10 would definitely make a gal forget any shortcomings in the otehr areas, at least for a while. ;-)

As for not having a sexy voice, why don't you let Kat be the judge of that? Phone sex anyone?

Master_Vyle said...

Well it can, but lots of vanilla people enjoy nipple play. very rusty at phone sex.

Oh, and I just saw an account at lush owned by a Veronica Desire. She sounded familiar, do you know her?

-Master Vyle

Kat said...

I was going to add nipple torture, but I didn't want to scare anyone. LOL

As for the lush account, no, I have never heard of her.

Mediocrity said...

Agree, agree, agree. Confidence is such a sexy thing. I have a man who has all these things, the sex is amazing, and his voice is spectacular. He doesn't have the best body, but he isn't afraid to show it. He doesn't seem to be afraid of anything, and doesn't hide his attraction to me. It is such a sexy thing.

Kat said...

It's true, isn't it? A man who shows his attraction to a woman (without going overboard) is a huge turn on.

Re-reading this really makes me miss my J. he's got everything on the list.

Anonymous said...

Since confidence is obviously the highest thing on your list, what distinguishes confidence from cocky arrogance? For you anyway... In addition, what is the number one thing you look for as a sign that a man is NOT confident?

Kat said...

OC, What great questions! It's not easy to describe the difference between confidence and cocky arrogance, but it's an important difference because confidence is *very* attractive and cocky arrogance is not attractive at all. Confidence comes from a real understanding of your strengths and their value. Cocky arrogance actually comes from a lack of understanding of your strengths. A confident man is secure enough NOT to make everything about *him*. A cocky one has to make everythign about him. I'm going to think on this one some more, and I'll probably write a full post about it because it's such an intriguing question.

As for the biggest tell that a man is not confident - lack of eye contact.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I shared this list with my lover this morning before we talked (over Skype, sigh). It's simply staggering to desire someone and to be desired (#8) after missing that in each of our marriages for so long.

Monica said...

Your list is right on the money