Sunday, January 29, 2012

A $10 Hard-On

My husband is very frugal. Normally, that is a good thing. At the grocery store, it's a very good thing. In the bedroom, not so much.

Here's the story.

Like many men (and I do mean *many*), Hubby relies on assistance from Viagra from time to time. This is not a problem. But when you combine Viagra ($10 per pill) and frugality, there is a problem.

To save money, Hubby cuts the pills, not in half, but in quarters. Apparently, rock hard sex is worth $2.50 to him, but not $10. The issue is that a quarter pill doesn't always produce the desired results. In fact, the rate of "success" with a quarter pill is about the same as with no pill at all. 

I've tried using logic. "Honey, four failed attempts with quarter pills actually costs $10. What if we have sex less and go crazy with a whole pill instead?"

Logic didn't work.

I've tried extra foreplay, giving it more time to work and making the whole event as hot as possible.

Extra foreplay didn't work.

I've tried fantasy, showing him naughty photos of Cara and talking him through a nasty three way scene.

Fantasy didn't work.

I've tried peer pressure mixed with shame, telling him that "Cara would want you to take the whole pill."

That didn't work, either.

Finally, last week I figured it out. When we went to bed, I took off all my clothes and cuddled up next to him. Then I handed him a $10 bill. "What's this for?" he asked. "I'd like to buy a $10 hard-on, please."

FYI - A $10 hard-on rocks!!!!

14 comments:

Cara Janes said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Could you hear me laughing all the way at your house? This is fricken HILARIOUS! Gotta love hubby. :-)

1manview said...

;). maybe he should try the generic olds from Canada....
Less then $3 per pill. Just a thought.. :)

Kat said...

Cara - He is great isn't he? :-)

1manview - There ya go trying logic. ;-)

Bob said...

"I've tried fantasy, showing him naughty photos of Cara and talking him through a nasty three way scene."

Is it odd that I almost had an orgasm reading this?

JJ said...

You never talked to me about us and Cara in a three-way scene! =( J/K Besides, I don't think Cara could handle us!!!

Kat said...

Bob - LOL. No, that's not odd at all. Who wouldn't? Well, except for...you know....

Molly and Karl said...

Only 10 bucks?

My Levitras are 25. I do break those in half.

Of course perhaps I pay a higher rate. They always ask if I want that on insurance. Nope. Cash and carry.

The Lustful Literate said...

This makes me giggle ;-)

Krazy said...

You're awesome! Ha ha.

Mr. Dryden said...

I think $300 bucks a month is affordable for good sex. ;)

Ryan Beaumont said...

You are spot on with your analysis. Here is a formula to back you up.

And yes, I can't read this without throwing out numbers, I'm a geek that way.

E = R (1+x%)^n
* that's the formula for the expected rate of return
* In this case use it as expected cost.

E = $2.50(1+75%)
* where x=expected rate of failure = 75%
E= $2.50(1.75)=$4.375

The real cost of a quarter pill is $4.375.

Ryan Beaumont said...

I realized I gave you the time value of money. You are right the real cost here is:

Real Cost = Nominal Cost/(1-% of failure)

R = $2.50/25% = $10

Sell it to him in terms he'll understand and maybe he will come around to your way of thinking! :)

Kat said...

Mr. D - Is that an offer? ;-)

Ryan - You crack me up! You know that math gets me hot, don't you?

Mike said...

I buy generic viagra online from some pharmacy that sources the pills from India or England. I pay $25 for 15 100mg pills which i then cut in half.

They work just fine!