It's true. My therapist is obsessed with my feelings. She's constantly saying things like, "How do you feel when your husband does that (or doesn't do that)?" "How do you feel when you see your lover?" "How do you feel right now?" "How did you feel...?" "How did you feel..."" "How did you feel.....?" "How did you feel...?"
Uuugghhhh! Make it stop!
It's not that I don't have feelings. Of course I do. But I don't have feelings about everything. I have lots of thoughts about just about everything, but some things just are. They don't elicit a feeling for me.
For example, if I'm making dinner, I generally don't have a feeling attached to it. I have thoughts. I make enjoy it or not. I think about what I'm doing or I daydream about something else, but feelings generally aren't in play for me at that time.
In the same way, not every experience with others elicits feelings.
But my therapist is going to ask, and when she asks I start to second guess myself. Am I supposed to be feeling something about that? Or are therapists just supposed to ask? Then I'll close my eyes and try hard to feel something about whatever it was she asked about. If I don't and I say, "Nothing," I watch her face closely for the telltale signs that she thinks I'm repressing something - a tiny shudder of a raised eyebrow, a written note she makes.
Sometimes I would love to see the notes she writes. I suspect I might see things like this:
"Suppressing feelings from her childhood."
"Not in touch with her feelings about her husband."
"Confuses feelings with thoughts."
My thoughts on those things? Who the hell cares???
But the hour goes by more easily if I don't say things like that. So, I've memorized a few names of feelings that can apply to a variety of situations so I am always prepared for the "How did you feel....?" questions.
Powerless, resentful, ashamed, confused, frustrated, reassured, confident, rebellious, anxious, satisfied, and so on. If the question comes and I get the feeling that she won't let me off the hook with, "I don't know" or "I don't feel anything about that," I just pick from the list.
Here's a list of feeling words if you find yourself in a similar situation.
The only problem is that I think she figured it out because recently I said I felt satisfied about something and then she said, "Tell me more about that."
I think she's obsessed with feelings the same way I tend to be obsessed with sex sometimes.
Maybe she needs therapy.