This made me laugh so hard I just had to share it immediately. If you accidentally cut off a chunk of your genetalia what would be the first thing you would do?
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
The Lingering Trauma of Prowling
By Somewhere Man
The picture taunts me at work. Every day. The beautiful woman that I fell in love with last year is still in my life. Only she isn't. This woman, whom I wrote and wrote about amid the heartache and heartbreak of last fall, now has a prominent spot in my office. Her image is now in a framed photo next to my closest colleague, a man a whole whopping 26 years older than I am. He's old but not to old to be fucking her. But he has a ton of money and, now that her divorce is final, she is single.
Just like the old man.
Because we work together, I see his endless photos as he flies her to California and Florida. The old man looks pretty damn happy and he should be. He's tapping an unspeakably beautiful woman.
Last night, I was at a going away party for a mutual colleague. Old Man and Blonde Hottie are at a side table of this upscale bar. She sits on his aged lap, arms around him, kisses him deep and then she opens her eyes and makes eye contact with me and smiles.
Ouch.
Many days I walk past the framed picture of the smokin' hot, blonde and suddenly-single cougar and think, "damn, how did I lose her to a frail old man with a bad back?". Yet, more and more, I think: "damn, I really dodged a bullet with that crazy whore." Especially as, in the two years since I crossed a line and became a prowler, I have seen it blow up in far too many peoples' faces.
***
Let's see. I've seen hilarious and popular prowling blogs lead to people (men and women) being "outed" and their unaware spouses finding out. I've seen people get busted through Facebook flirting and messaging. Some of these marriages ended in divorce. Some didn't.
I've been lucky. A recent "outing scare" over the winter sent me off-line for good.
So much of writing a blog about this was to show off. To, somehow, validate that a middle-aged guy like me could still score a parade of gorgeous women even as I could not get indifferent and increasingly unattractive wife to even do anything to or with me in bed.
For the last two years, I have found myself in the embrace of a bevy of beauties. Thin waifs who needed to eat a steak. Curvy women fretting over love handles. Women from different ethnic backgrounds but all women who simply wanted what they were missing. The closeness. The feeling of desire.
Now I just wonder how empty it all was... and still is.
It's just been a game.
Yet it was a game that I had freakin' mastered. As a guy on AM, I had hit a point where 90% of the messages I would send out would be answered. If I was able to talk my way into a "face-to-face", I would usually get my desires filled fairly quickly. As I look back on the actual totals, I met with a total of 9 women from AM. That equaled 7 BJs or intercourse, 1 woman who didn't want me and 1 woman I backed away from. It was not because of my dashing and debonair nature.
I would argue it was because I found "the system" to make it work. In fact, by the end of all this, I had become so proficient in "the system" that I had to even make it appear so non-rehearsed and smooth.
I was joking with Kat recently as I was in a bookstore and came across a book in the "Relationships" section that was a 200-page book about picking up women. 200 pages? I can sum it all up in the rest of this post.
For AM Pickups: I will start here as this is now a very common way to hook up. I cannot stress enough how easy it really is here, especially if you live in a major metro area. I live in a mid-size city which means I have to be extremely careful on who I meet or how much I reveal right away. Yet, AM women are "already on second base". At least the ones that are not those "autobots", out to take away all of your credits.
Target Precisely. Avoid the temptation to buy 100 credits and then message 15 women at once. Allow yourself a maximum of 4 messages a week. That's it. When you have an 80-90% response rate (as I do), 4 is the maximum that I can juggle at one time. Decide which 4 "contestants" will be here for this week. Write on a Saturday or a Sunday and see where it goes.
An Authentic Note Helps. This I also cannot stress enough. I'll offer my standard opening line for you guys: "Amid the 577 men who are probably chasing you, I hope you can take the time to learn a little more about me...." And I am off and running. It's a balance of revealing a little more about yourself (but not too much). Ask her three questions about herself. Mine are easy: Why are you here? What do you crave? What drives you crazy? They almost always respond.
No Talk About Sex Until She Talks About Sex. I am 99.44% certain that Kat has covered this. Far too many men send cock shots or talk about how they like to pump from behind with a finger in her ass. Don't do it...even though we are all here for it.
Once you're on the second message from her, then it is time to move her to an email address. Then, after a few days of emailing, move her to Google Voice.
For Non-AM Pickups: Damn, these are tricky. The woman I fell in love with was a "non-AM pickup". Those are nerve-racking, especially as I refuse to ever get involved with anyone in my workplace. I had one of these non-AM pickup situations this week. I'm at a big-box hardware store and the woman who helped me pick out my paint was stunning. Tall, thin, 40ish, black hair, full eyes, great smile. As I leave, I notice she has the wedding ring (perfect as I do not pursue single women), she tells me that she has five kids.
Me: "I hope that you have someone in your life who tells you that you have a superb smile."
Her (shocked): "Wow... actually, I don't. He never tells me. We're in counseling."
Me: "Well (as I scribble), here is my number in case you'd ever like a man to tell you that you have a great smile."
She texted me five minutes later, agreeing to meet me for coffee the next day.
Yet, with the non-AM pickup, it is like an operating room patient that took a bullet to the chest. "The next 24 hours will be critical". A "straight pickup" will probably be filled with doubts and even guilt that she is considering a date. Mrs. Hot Raven-Haired Lady texted me the next day that she was full of guilt and only wanted to be friends. I wrote that I understood and hoped that she kept smiling.
Perhaps she will be back. Perhaps not.
Something, something about the chase.
The First Face-To-Face/Coffee Date: The most important logistic. Do not meet within five miles of either of your houses. It's not a spouse I'm worried about seeing. It's her little friends. It's a coworker. That's what worries me. I always pick a place away from my side of town and, often, at a non-peak hour. That means a coffeehouse at 10 am, 3 pm or 7 pm.
- Smile and Have Her Drink Ready. Find out if she loves mango smoothies and have it ready to go. This also allieviates the issue of standing in a slow-moving coffeehouse line with a woman who is not your wife.
- Have a Plan For The "Hour". Mine is always the same. Let her talk about her day for five minutes to blow off some steam. Answer any questions she has. I delve into one of my three "stock stories" from my past that are hilarious, detailed and self-deprecating. The woman always laughs at the end. Then we transition into what it is what we're doing here, on the edge of an affair.
About 50% of the time, it ends with me trying to walk her to her car. In those situations, I don't lean in for the kiss unless I see that she wants it badly. The other 50% of the time, especially if she has an SUV or a minivan with tented windows and if the date is going well, I recommend that we go sit in her ride. Middle row. In that situation, you'll have her reaching for your belt buckle within 15 minutes. Guaranteed.
Why write all of this? Ego, perhaps. But also because I've found "the system" that works for me. I am a decent looking guy but also one who is curious and listens to what a woman has to say. It's the balance between "alpha" and "beta". I always arrive with a plan (alpha) but I do listen and try and make her feel more comfortable (beta).
I also write this because, for all of the success I've had in tasting this delicious flesh, I also know how badly it can hurt as well. The image of a woman I wanted to be "the love of my life" taunts me in the office every day. I see her kissing that old man and I can't do anything about it. It hurts.
This is a dangerous game we all play.
Be careful.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Eat Me
No, I'm not grumpy today, but "Eat me" is the first thing I thought when SoccerMom shared this with me.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Involuntary Fidelity
It has been over a month since I've prowled and I have no immediate prospects in sight. This isn't my record, of course. My record is 8 years. Right now I'm wondering how I survived those 8 years. Actually, I know. I worked 60-80 hours a week.....and I ate a lot. FYI - neither of those is a good substitute for mind blowing sex. All they can do is distract you, hopefully enough so you forget about what you're missing.
I know what you're thinking. "Kat, you are a prowler extraordinaire. How could you be struck involuntarily faithful?"
There are several reasons.
First, JJ has been MIA. He has been dealing with family issues and he's busy. In a week or so it will 2 months since I've seen him. And there has been hardly any communication in the last week, and none in the last few days....and it has been dwindling over time. Yeah, it looks more like lack of interest than lack of time to me, too. Ouch. I've got a bit of a heartache over that. I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on...
Second, I just haven't been that motivated to search out new friends. There's all that getting-to-know-you crap that seems to take forever. Whatever happened to the days when it was ok just to say, "Hey, I think we could have a good time together. Wanna?" Oh yeah, that was the 80's. Sometimes I miss the 80's.
Third, I've been busy at work (not a good thing) and Hubby and I are getting along very well (a very good thing) and I've fallen back into a rut in my life in general. I've made some changes in my work life that will get me out of that rut very soon, but when part of your life is in a rut, it's hard to get another part out of it, too.
Finally, I was reconsidering fidelity for awhile a few weeks ago. That got me out of the swing of things, I guess.
So here I am.
Daunt corrected me earlier today and told me that I am actually voluntarily faithful because I could jump on AM and have a "date" within 24 hours if I really wanted to or I could pick up the phone and call any of a handful of ex-playmates and be hooked up within a few hours. That's true. So why don't I really want to?
Is it because I miss JJ and I'm down about not being able to see him and not talking to him?
Is it because I can't seem to get Seattle Guy off my mind?
I really don't know.
But I do know this. While I may not be in the mood to hunt, I'm an definitely hungry for an extramarital treat. Very hungry.
Well, if it's not going to come to me, I'll guess I'll have to get off my ass and go find a tasty morsel (a.k.a. hot and horny fine specimen of a man) to enjoy.
Applications are now being accepted.
I know what you're thinking. "Kat, you are a prowler extraordinaire. How could you be struck involuntarily faithful?"
There are several reasons.
First, JJ has been MIA. He has been dealing with family issues and he's busy. In a week or so it will 2 months since I've seen him. And there has been hardly any communication in the last week, and none in the last few days....and it has been dwindling over time. Yeah, it looks more like lack of interest than lack of time to me, too. Ouch. I've got a bit of a heartache over that. I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on...
Second, I just haven't been that motivated to search out new friends. There's all that getting-to-know-you crap that seems to take forever. Whatever happened to the days when it was ok just to say, "Hey, I think we could have a good time together. Wanna?" Oh yeah, that was the 80's. Sometimes I miss the 80's.
Third, I've been busy at work (not a good thing) and Hubby and I are getting along very well (a very good thing) and I've fallen back into a rut in my life in general. I've made some changes in my work life that will get me out of that rut very soon, but when part of your life is in a rut, it's hard to get another part out of it, too.
Finally, I was reconsidering fidelity for awhile a few weeks ago. That got me out of the swing of things, I guess.
So here I am.
Daunt corrected me earlier today and told me that I am actually voluntarily faithful because I could jump on AM and have a "date" within 24 hours if I really wanted to or I could pick up the phone and call any of a handful of ex-playmates and be hooked up within a few hours. That's true. So why don't I really want to?
Is it because I miss JJ and I'm down about not being able to see him and not talking to him?
Is it because I can't seem to get Seattle Guy off my mind?
I really don't know.
But I do know this. While I may not be in the mood to hunt, I'm an definitely hungry for an extramarital treat. Very hungry.
Well, if it's not going to come to me, I'll guess I'll have to get off my ass and go find a tasty morsel (a.k.a. hot and horny fine specimen of a man) to enjoy.
Applications are now being accepted.
Monday, July 23, 2012
DauntlessD, Where is he now?
Daunt here. I know I haven't written as much as Kat, nor have I shared as much about myself; but from this point going forward I plan to. I have no real goal in mind for this post, I'm just writing; and I seem to being lead just to introduce myself. So, who is DauntlessD aka Dauntless Dreamer? That's a good question, it's one I'm trying to figure out myself. What I can tell you is a rough synopsis of how I got to where I am now.
Honestly it feels a little strange looking back on my life at age 43. As I reflect, I now have the wisdom to see many of the patterns that caused me to choose the paths I did in life's crossroads. One of these patterns is to do what I feel is the right thing for others even if it is to my own detriment. Yes, it sounds selfless. Yes, it feels honorable. But it's a personality trait that has often hurt me.
I was married at 20 and shortly after had two children. Needless to say life is pretty hard when you have two children early in your 20s. By my mid-20s I realized I had no idea what I wanted in life. This shortly after turned into a divorce.
Now remember that propensity I mentioned to always do the right thing for others? Well this made the guilt and shame I felt for the divorce, and hurting my children, crushing. So what did I do? I bounced right into another relationship with a co-dependent emotionally unstable woman and married her. The guilt and shame I felt from my divorce caused me to shutout my family and stay with my second wife for way, way too long. Why? Because I thought I was doing the right thing for her, and I didn't want to feel that guilt and shame that I felt before.
I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but within the past couple of months I've had a strange realization. I had finally forgiven myself for divorcing my first wife and hurting my children. I think it happened within the past two years and it wasn't until I was living alone that I was thinking clearly enough to see it. It has had an amazing affect on my outlook. I don't have those awful feelings in regard to my second wife -- honestly I feel cleansed.
Today, looking forward, I feel like I'm getting a second chance at life. A second chance to live. I'm excited by the opportunities. Also I know and understand myself better than I ever have before; I'm more confident in me and who I am. Then at the same time it's daunting, almost overwhelming. How on earth does a 43 year old man restart? What am I going to do with this second chance?
Well PWK fans, it looks like you have a front row seat.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Madison... What happened?
Daunt here. For those that have been following, you saw my note in Panty Games part 1 that Madison and I are no longer seeing one another. As promised I'll share with you what I can along with any thoughts I may have. But first for those that are new or haven't been following my Madison posts, let me recap, just to bring them up to speed.
At the end of 2010 I hit a pretty rough patch in my life. I was depressed and lonely, and still married. I needed something, but I didn't know what it was. Just trying to grasp at literally anything to break me out of my funk I got onto Ashley Madison which was fun. Ashley Madison was a distraction, a game. Good things came out of it honestly. It was there I met Kat and our friendship began and shortly after I met Madison in early 2011.
Madison and I became friends via email then shortly after met for dinner a couple of times. We enjoyed each other's company and there was a connection, but Madison was going on an out of country vacation that summer with husband. Also at this time I still had not yet chosen to divorce my wife. Madison went on her trip and I stopped hearing from her. I just assumed she reconnected with her husband.
Fall of 2011 I chose to divorce and shortly after, out of the blue, I received a text from Madison. We reconnected over dinner and a romance began to blossom.
My time with Madison was wonderful and we grew to love one another. But this is not to say that we were never confronted with guilt or regret. As I grew to know Madison, I also by extension learned a little about her husband. She loved him. I knew this. The man seemed clueless and neglectful, but he didn't seem like a bad guy. This bothered me because at times I felt like I was taking from, and possibly hurting, a man I had no grudge against. Also at times Madison would be twisted up about needing the intimacy we shared, but at the same time knowing she did love her husband.
If you would like to read about Madison and the fun we had go to the All DauntlessD page.
What happened? Why did it end? Well, Madison and I were a pretty big part of one another's lives and when that happens it becomes something you want to share. Madison told her best friend who she was sure would keep her confidence. Madison was wrong. Her now ex-friend just needed the right situation to gossip. Shortly after, the news of Madison's affair bubbled up to her husband.
So, listen up! Here is a rule for those of you either in or considering an affair. If you are worried about being caught, tell no one! I know first hand how hard this can be -- and trust me it is hard! As you grow to care about and know this other person, you just naturally want to share things you talked about, or that funny thing that happened with your other friends. It's tough. Believe me.
Now let's talk about the hurt and pain. Of course Madison's husband was angry initially, but that changed to feeling heart-wrenching hurt and betrayal. Madison didn't want to hurt her husband in this manner and she felt tremendous guilt about that. At the same time she loved me and didn't want to hurt me. To make matters worse she was isolated because she had no one to go to -- her best friend had betrayed her. The pressure cooker she was in was simply awful and the helplessness I felt made me feel just as bad.
Madison began making plans to move out of her home and leave her husband. Maybe it was the affair. Maybe it was the fact that he finally believed he was going to lose her, but at this point Madison's husband caught a clue. He finally in earnest began fighting to save his marriage and keep his wife. It took nearly a month for Madison to believe it was real, but it worked.
Here is where my heartbreak begins. The communication between myself and Madison had been severely diminished since her husband found out. Soon after entering a grocery store my phone rings. Standing in a health food aisle I listen as Madison tearfully explains she is going to give her husband another chance. Of course I say the right things and I tell her I understand; but as the day wears on a weight starts settling on me. It feels like an icy iron fist is gripping my heart and slowly squeezing.
Of course I knew this could happen -- I was seeing a married woman! What I hadn't counted on was the suddenness. This woman I had grown to love and have an intimate relationship with was just... gone. The plans we already had on the calendar weren't going to happen now.
Loneliness came in like a hammer. And as I reflected on this I realized I had set this up 8 months prior without realizing it. You see, I began seeing Madison before I had moved my would-be ex-wife out of the house. By seeing Madison I had inadvertently delayed the loneliness I would have felt at the end of my marriage.
I've done an enormous amount of reflecting, trying to weigh whether all of what has happened was collectively more good or more bad. In the end I think there is more positive than negative. The joy and intimacy Madison and I shared is something I'd hate to have missed.
Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I was foolish to let myself get as emotionally invested as I did. I'm not sure.
"Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all." ~ Lord Alfred Tennyson
At the end of 2010 I hit a pretty rough patch in my life. I was depressed and lonely, and still married. I needed something, but I didn't know what it was. Just trying to grasp at literally anything to break me out of my funk I got onto Ashley Madison which was fun. Ashley Madison was a distraction, a game. Good things came out of it honestly. It was there I met Kat and our friendship began and shortly after I met Madison in early 2011.
Madison and I became friends via email then shortly after met for dinner a couple of times. We enjoyed each other's company and there was a connection, but Madison was going on an out of country vacation that summer with husband. Also at this time I still had not yet chosen to divorce my wife. Madison went on her trip and I stopped hearing from her. I just assumed she reconnected with her husband.
Fall of 2011 I chose to divorce and shortly after, out of the blue, I received a text from Madison. We reconnected over dinner and a romance began to blossom.
My time with Madison was wonderful and we grew to love one another. But this is not to say that we were never confronted with guilt or regret. As I grew to know Madison, I also by extension learned a little about her husband. She loved him. I knew this. The man seemed clueless and neglectful, but he didn't seem like a bad guy. This bothered me because at times I felt like I was taking from, and possibly hurting, a man I had no grudge against. Also at times Madison would be twisted up about needing the intimacy we shared, but at the same time knowing she did love her husband.
If you would like to read about Madison and the fun we had go to the All DauntlessD page.
What happened? Why did it end? Well, Madison and I were a pretty big part of one another's lives and when that happens it becomes something you want to share. Madison told her best friend who she was sure would keep her confidence. Madison was wrong. Her now ex-friend just needed the right situation to gossip. Shortly after, the news of Madison's affair bubbled up to her husband.
So, listen up! Here is a rule for those of you either in or considering an affair. If you are worried about being caught, tell no one! I know first hand how hard this can be -- and trust me it is hard! As you grow to care about and know this other person, you just naturally want to share things you talked about, or that funny thing that happened with your other friends. It's tough. Believe me.
Now let's talk about the hurt and pain. Of course Madison's husband was angry initially, but that changed to feeling heart-wrenching hurt and betrayal. Madison didn't want to hurt her husband in this manner and she felt tremendous guilt about that. At the same time she loved me and didn't want to hurt me. To make matters worse she was isolated because she had no one to go to -- her best friend had betrayed her. The pressure cooker she was in was simply awful and the helplessness I felt made me feel just as bad.
Madison began making plans to move out of her home and leave her husband. Maybe it was the affair. Maybe it was the fact that he finally believed he was going to lose her, but at this point Madison's husband caught a clue. He finally in earnest began fighting to save his marriage and keep his wife. It took nearly a month for Madison to believe it was real, but it worked.
Here is where my heartbreak begins. The communication between myself and Madison had been severely diminished since her husband found out. Soon after entering a grocery store my phone rings. Standing in a health food aisle I listen as Madison tearfully explains she is going to give her husband another chance. Of course I say the right things and I tell her I understand; but as the day wears on a weight starts settling on me. It feels like an icy iron fist is gripping my heart and slowly squeezing.
Of course I knew this could happen -- I was seeing a married woman! What I hadn't counted on was the suddenness. This woman I had grown to love and have an intimate relationship with was just... gone. The plans we already had on the calendar weren't going to happen now.
Loneliness came in like a hammer. And as I reflected on this I realized I had set this up 8 months prior without realizing it. You see, I began seeing Madison before I had moved my would-be ex-wife out of the house. By seeing Madison I had inadvertently delayed the loneliness I would have felt at the end of my marriage.
I've done an enormous amount of reflecting, trying to weigh whether all of what has happened was collectively more good or more bad. In the end I think there is more positive than negative. The joy and intimacy Madison and I shared is something I'd hate to have missed.
Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I was foolish to let myself get as emotionally invested as I did. I'm not sure.
"Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all." ~ Lord Alfred Tennyson
Thursday, July 19, 2012
GingerRose - Artistic Beauty
I asked for some lovely ladies to share some photos with us, and GingerRose answered the call!
Her photos are unique and beautiful, as is she!
Make sure you let her know what you think in the comments.
Guys, remember we're starting a Cock Gallery. This is a chance for you to share your pics. Send me a pic of the sexiest part of you. It doesn't have to be a naughty part. This is bathing suit season, so come on now, show me what ya got!
Her photos are unique and beautiful, as is she!
Make sure you let her know what you think in the comments.
Guys, remember we're starting a Cock Gallery. This is a chance for you to share your pics. Send me a pic of the sexiest part of you. It doesn't have to be a naughty part. This is bathing suit season, so come on now, show me what ya got!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Panty Games Part 2
Daunt here. If you read part 1, you should recall I acquired a lovely pair of soaked post orgasm panties. The following week Madison and I had dinner plans again and I decided to put those panties to good use and tease her a bit.
Before our dinner date I wash the the delicate undergarment. Yes I read the tag, wash gentle, lay out to dry -- I wouldn’t want to ruin them now would I? Panties in hand I hop in my car and head out. As I drive the smile grows on my face, each mile giving me time to reflect on how much I enjoy Madison. The restaurant we are meeting at has fond memories attached to it, it’s where I met her for the very first time.
As I pull into the parking lot I see Madison’s car pulling up to the valet station, I choose to go to the regular parking lot. I park, pull the brake and grin. Folding the panties just so, I tuck them into the breast pocket of my black pinstripe button up shirt. The panties are black and they are peeking out, not too noticeable, but noticeable enough. I exit the car and head for the restaurant.
Upon entering the rear entrance and rounding the bar I see Madison seating herself on the other end. She’s wearing another sundress, cream colored and clinging to her. The dress hugs her curves and delights my eyes with just enough cleavage. What can I say, I love it. She sees me and smiles. I give her a hug and a kiss, then take a seat next to her.
Conversation flows and we laugh and share with one another. After a drink we decide just to stay at the bar and have our meal there. I ask the bartender to bring us a couple of menus, then it happens. I’m facing Madison with a foot on her stool and she turns toward me and begins to speak, “Daunt, do you...” In mid-sentence she freezes. My mischievous grin widens as I follow her gaze to my chest, my pocket. The seconds tick with each expression crossing her face. Curiosity, then comprehension, her jaw falls open in disbelief, finally her cheeks plume red flustered and embarrassed. With slow deliberation she reaches out her right hand and tucks her panties deeper into my pocket. I burst into laughter. Madison turns back toward the bar giggling and fanning her warm, glowing face. “I can’t believe you did that!” she says through a grin.
We finish our dinner with leisure and affection. We’re very comfortable with one another and neither of us want the evening to end. It’s dusk out and we walk out the back of the restaurant. The summer breeze is cool, but there are lawn chairs placed around gas powered fire pits. We find a couple of chairs away from others and sit down. I pull her feet into my lap, slip off her shoes and begin massaging Madison's feet. Looking up I find her looking at me intently. She’s beautiful. I quietly look back into her eyes and find them welling up with tears.
“Madison,” I begin clearly concerned, “what’s on your mind? Is everything ok?”
She looks away briefly. “Yes, I’m ok.” her voice thick with emotion. “It’s just... you’re so good to me...”
At this point Madison and I have been seeing each other for 6-7 months. We had spent weekends together, gone on outings together -- we were a couple, but not a couple at the same time; she’s married -- and not to me.
As we talk I find myself agast. She explains that she had convinced herself that having the simple affections, like me rubbing her feet, were too much to expect. I was floored to learn that this was something her husband had never done. It also drove home the level of neglect she had been living with; married, but still alone.
I reach out, cup her cheek and kiss her tenderly. She returns the kiss with urgency, passion. I want her, but again it’s not in the cards for this evening. I scan the area. It’s nearly night and we’re still alone. Gently I begin running my hand up the inside of her bare thigh. Her legs part slightly, welcoming.
My hand nears her sex feeling the heady heat of her arousal. Finding the edge of her panties I navigate around them. Madison arches slightly with a shudder as my fingers slide into her with ease. I look deeply into her eyes as I bring her to orgasm, kissing her at its height.
Arching my brow with a sly half smile I tell her, “I want this pair too.”
Madison laughs. “What is it with you? I’ll give them to you at the car.”
“No. I’ll have them now, thank-you” I reply.
Madison smiles widely shaking her head. She lifts her bottom from the lawn chair, wriggles off her panties and hands them over. “Just what are you going to do with this little collection you got going?” she asks.
With nonchalance I reply, “I’m going to put them in little glass trophy cases and put them on the mantle. They’ll need little brass label plates indicating the date and where they were acquired too.”
“You would, wouldn’t you!” Madison retorts with a giggle.
I take her hand and help her rise from her chair. Hand in hand we walk to the rear of the restaurant, through the large windows you can see the patrons eating their meals and drinking at the bar. Stopping near the windows I pull Madison into an embrace. I kiss her running my hand down the small of her back and over her bottom. “No panty lines,” I tease. Madison smiles back, eyes sparkling.
We walk through the rear entrance then exit out the front and say our good-byes. I begin walking to my car, reaching into my pocket. I chuckle to myself as my hand finds the new damp little prize that’s going home with me.
Before our dinner date I wash the the delicate undergarment. Yes I read the tag, wash gentle, lay out to dry -- I wouldn’t want to ruin them now would I? Panties in hand I hop in my car and head out. As I drive the smile grows on my face, each mile giving me time to reflect on how much I enjoy Madison. The restaurant we are meeting at has fond memories attached to it, it’s where I met her for the very first time.
As I pull into the parking lot I see Madison’s car pulling up to the valet station, I choose to go to the regular parking lot. I park, pull the brake and grin. Folding the panties just so, I tuck them into the breast pocket of my black pinstripe button up shirt. The panties are black and they are peeking out, not too noticeable, but noticeable enough. I exit the car and head for the restaurant.
Upon entering the rear entrance and rounding the bar I see Madison seating herself on the other end. She’s wearing another sundress, cream colored and clinging to her. The dress hugs her curves and delights my eyes with just enough cleavage. What can I say, I love it. She sees me and smiles. I give her a hug and a kiss, then take a seat next to her.
Conversation flows and we laugh and share with one another. After a drink we decide just to stay at the bar and have our meal there. I ask the bartender to bring us a couple of menus, then it happens. I’m facing Madison with a foot on her stool and she turns toward me and begins to speak, “Daunt, do you...” In mid-sentence she freezes. My mischievous grin widens as I follow her gaze to my chest, my pocket. The seconds tick with each expression crossing her face. Curiosity, then comprehension, her jaw falls open in disbelief, finally her cheeks plume red flustered and embarrassed. With slow deliberation she reaches out her right hand and tucks her panties deeper into my pocket. I burst into laughter. Madison turns back toward the bar giggling and fanning her warm, glowing face. “I can’t believe you did that!” she says through a grin.
We finish our dinner with leisure and affection. We’re very comfortable with one another and neither of us want the evening to end. It’s dusk out and we walk out the back of the restaurant. The summer breeze is cool, but there are lawn chairs placed around gas powered fire pits. We find a couple of chairs away from others and sit down. I pull her feet into my lap, slip off her shoes and begin massaging Madison's feet. Looking up I find her looking at me intently. She’s beautiful. I quietly look back into her eyes and find them welling up with tears.
“Madison,” I begin clearly concerned, “what’s on your mind? Is everything ok?”
She looks away briefly. “Yes, I’m ok.” her voice thick with emotion. “It’s just... you’re so good to me...”
At this point Madison and I have been seeing each other for 6-7 months. We had spent weekends together, gone on outings together -- we were a couple, but not a couple at the same time; she’s married -- and not to me.
As we talk I find myself agast. She explains that she had convinced herself that having the simple affections, like me rubbing her feet, were too much to expect. I was floored to learn that this was something her husband had never done. It also drove home the level of neglect she had been living with; married, but still alone.
I reach out, cup her cheek and kiss her tenderly. She returns the kiss with urgency, passion. I want her, but again it’s not in the cards for this evening. I scan the area. It’s nearly night and we’re still alone. Gently I begin running my hand up the inside of her bare thigh. Her legs part slightly, welcoming.
My hand nears her sex feeling the heady heat of her arousal. Finding the edge of her panties I navigate around them. Madison arches slightly with a shudder as my fingers slide into her with ease. I look deeply into her eyes as I bring her to orgasm, kissing her at its height.
Arching my brow with a sly half smile I tell her, “I want this pair too.”
Madison laughs. “What is it with you? I’ll give them to you at the car.”
“No. I’ll have them now, thank-you” I reply.
Madison smiles widely shaking her head. She lifts her bottom from the lawn chair, wriggles off her panties and hands them over. “Just what are you going to do with this little collection you got going?” she asks.
With nonchalance I reply, “I’m going to put them in little glass trophy cases and put them on the mantle. They’ll need little brass label plates indicating the date and where they were acquired too.”
“You would, wouldn’t you!” Madison retorts with a giggle.
I take her hand and help her rise from her chair. Hand in hand we walk to the rear of the restaurant, through the large windows you can see the patrons eating their meals and drinking at the bar. Stopping near the windows I pull Madison into an embrace. I kiss her running my hand down the small of her back and over her bottom. “No panty lines,” I tease. Madison smiles back, eyes sparkling.
We walk through the rear entrance then exit out the front and say our good-byes. I begin walking to my car, reaching into my pocket. I chuckle to myself as my hand finds the new damp little prize that’s going home with me.
Lobbing the PWK Bomb
Daunt here. We have a smart bunch of readers so I thought I would solicit some advice and generate a little discussion.
Recently I decided to check out a few of the more popular dating sites. I created an account using my DauntlessD persona and just tried to be playful. After week or so and sending out a few messages etc, I generally had the feeling they are all quite similar to Ashley Madison; the ratio of men to women allows women to be pretty choosy.
The whole vibe of the sites began to wear on me and one evening, when I was feeling a bit surly, I received an unsolicited message from a woman. I responded, attempted a little banter, but my heart wasn't in it. Then I began to grow irritated with some of her questions. It was clear she was used to men falling all over themselves and answering any question and providing more photos promptly. So I did something I wouldn't normally do, I sent her the link to my All DauntlessD page. In essence I was feeling a little testy and I was saying, here take this and go away. Then what happened was pretty comical.
Her: That was TMI web site Omg
Me: Well it's me. Read DauntlessD Exposed. This is a side of me I won't hide from someone I'm seeing.
Her: Wow
Me: Read The Art that is Woman. It's one of my favorites.
Her: Ok... you're scaring me
And that was that. I stopped hearing from her. She officially ran for the hills.
So, here is what I would like you all to chime in on. Upon meeting a new love interest, when should I share this blog and my writing with them? I'm very curious to hear your thoughts and especially the difference of opinion between men and women.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Sex in a Library...Shhhhh!
A fellow blogger and I have been discussing erotic and BDSM books via email. He mentioned Story of O and I got all excited (kind of like I did when I read it the first time). I shared the account with him of the time I discovered it, and I thought I'd share it with the rest of my prowling friends, too.
I was working in a library between my freshman and sophomore years of college. I came across Story of O while I was re-shelving it after someone had returned it to the library. I would hide in the stacks every now and then when I was supposed to be shelving books and read as much as I could. I didn't dare check it out! At that time in my life, I already had experience with BDSM, but it was still very much something that polite people didn't talk about, and I certainly didn't want anyone knowing that I was reading that kind of a book.
My hiding places were good ones, usually among the bound periodicals in the basement. During the summer, no one was ever down there. That's why I picked it for breaks and secret reading. It was so deserted, that every now and then while I was reading I would masturbate without worrying at all about being caught. I didn't masturbate randomly, but while I was reading erotica, and I played with myself a lot while reading Story of O.
One day, I was reading in the basement, perched on the edge of a table. I was reading (book in left hand) and pleasuring myself (with my right hand) when I looked up and saw a guy standing at the end of the row in front of me - just staring at me. I froze, not knowing if I should pull my hand out of my panties (I was wearing a pencil skirt, which was pulled up around my waist) or just do nothing, or speak - but I had NO idea what to say so I was frozen in place. Then he said, "Good book?" and we both burst into laughter.
I pulled my hand out and looked him squarely in the eyes as I licked my fingers (even as a kitten I was a naughty little pussy). I pulled my skirt down quickly, he walked over, I showed him the book, and we made small talk for about 30 seconds. The next thing I remember I was bending over the table (they have very sturdy tables in university libraries, ya know) and he was pulling up my skirt, pushing my panties aside and fucking me nice and hard.
We met several other times that summer - in the bound periodicals section of the library, always at (and on) the same table. I don't remember his name. I might have known his first name at the time, but I know we never exchanged last names. During the school year, I'd see him around campus and we'd smile and acknowledge each other like people who didn't know each other but may have had a class together. He'd come into the library during the school year, too. I'd see him lurking around and watching me, but we never spoke. It was as if the magic that had given us both the courage to fuck a stranger in the library basement had evaporated and left us without even the courage necessary to talk to one another.
After graduation, I went to graduate school and took another job in the library, but that library was much bigger. It was a government depository so every document put out by the federal government was sent there so the public would have access (remember, this was before the era of personal computers, and Al Gore hadn't yet invented the internet). The government documents took up a entire wing of the library.
And it had a basement.
I was working in a library between my freshman and sophomore years of college. I came across Story of O while I was re-shelving it after someone had returned it to the library. I would hide in the stacks every now and then when I was supposed to be shelving books and read as much as I could. I didn't dare check it out! At that time in my life, I already had experience with BDSM, but it was still very much something that polite people didn't talk about, and I certainly didn't want anyone knowing that I was reading that kind of a book.
My hiding places were good ones, usually among the bound periodicals in the basement. During the summer, no one was ever down there. That's why I picked it for breaks and secret reading. It was so deserted, that every now and then while I was reading I would masturbate without worrying at all about being caught. I didn't masturbate randomly, but while I was reading erotica, and I played with myself a lot while reading Story of O.
One day, I was reading in the basement, perched on the edge of a table. I was reading (book in left hand) and pleasuring myself (with my right hand) when I looked up and saw a guy standing at the end of the row in front of me - just staring at me. I froze, not knowing if I should pull my hand out of my panties (I was wearing a pencil skirt, which was pulled up around my waist) or just do nothing, or speak - but I had NO idea what to say so I was frozen in place. Then he said, "Good book?" and we both burst into laughter.
I pulled my hand out and looked him squarely in the eyes as I licked my fingers (even as a kitten I was a naughty little pussy). I pulled my skirt down quickly, he walked over, I showed him the book, and we made small talk for about 30 seconds. The next thing I remember I was bending over the table (they have very sturdy tables in university libraries, ya know) and he was pulling up my skirt, pushing my panties aside and fucking me nice and hard.
We met several other times that summer - in the bound periodicals section of the library, always at (and on) the same table. I don't remember his name. I might have known his first name at the time, but I know we never exchanged last names. During the school year, I'd see him around campus and we'd smile and acknowledge each other like people who didn't know each other but may have had a class together. He'd come into the library during the school year, too. I'd see him lurking around and watching me, but we never spoke. It was as if the magic that had given us both the courage to fuck a stranger in the library basement had evaporated and left us without even the courage necessary to talk to one another.
After graduation, I went to graduate school and took another job in the library, but that library was much bigger. It was a government depository so every document put out by the federal government was sent there so the public would have access (remember, this was before the era of personal computers, and Al Gore hadn't yet invented the internet). The government documents took up a entire wing of the library.
And it had a basement.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Panty Games Part 1
I know it has been a while, but yes, it's Daunt. The post you're about to read was written over a month ago and with it I have some bittersweet news to share. Madison and I are no longer seeing each other. Her husband discovered the affair and began to put forth truly amazing effort to save his marriage and keep his wife. Madison was cynical at first, but then began to soften; she decided to give him a chance. As for me... well... I'm happy for her, but I will miss her very much.
I have a lot of thoughts surrounding this I want to share, which I will likely do at the end of part 2. It is important for everyone to know that none of us came out of this unscathed; not me, not Madison nor her husband. There was hurt and pain to go around. For now though, let me share a memory that is a lusty joy. Here is the post:
____________________
Not long ago Madison and I met for dinner. We both arrived at the quaint little mom-and-pop Italian restaurant I had chosen at nearly the same time. She exits her car and strolls toward me wearing a lovely light sundress; my eyes take her in from head to toe. After sharing a hello kiss we walk inside.
Upon being seated at a table I ask to have the bottle of wine I had brought to be opened; It was a bottle Madison and I had bought on one of our outings. As we chat and catch up I find myself watching her every movement, the way her hand cups the glass, the way her lips delicately conform to the rim as she sips her wine, the sparkle of her blue eyes and the shine of her smile. As dinner goes on a growing arousal builds, it’s mirrored in her eyes and crackles in the air between us; palpable.
Dinner was wonderful and dessert is brought, a frothy whipped cream concoction with fresh berries. I watch enraptured as Madison’s tongue sensually licks the spoon. Does she know the effect she’s having on me? My body is a coiled spring without release. I sigh knowing that there will be no time for lovemaking this evening. I call for the check. What am I going to do?
Hand in hand we walk out to her car. We share an intimate kiss near Madison’s car. As she pulls back from the kiss she asks, “Would you like to sit with me for a few minutes?” I nod my head and smile, then hop into the passenger seat.
Soon my fingers are curled into hair pulling her into a hungry kiss and my right hand feels the bare skin of her knee. Slowly my hand makes its way up her thigh, the soft skin gliding under my palm. Soon my hand feels the sultry heat of her sex. Gently I pull her panties aside, the only noise in the car is our urgent breathing. I slip a finger inside her and rest my thumb against her clit triggering a shudder and a moan.
I pull my head back and look into Madison’s eyes. “You will not come without asking my permission”, I state flatly.
“This again huh?”, with mock exaggeration she rolls her eyes. Then her face spreads into a mischievous knowing smile. “You know I’ll do whatever you ask”, she says sweetly.
I begin to rub her clit with my thumb, the finger inside curling up to stimulate her on the inside. Madison’s face relaxes, lips parted, awash in sensation. Her breathing becomes clipped and her body begins rocking to the tempo set by my hand.
“Daunt”, she says breathily, eyes half-lidded, “can I come now?”
“No”, I reply. Slowly I begin increasing the level of sensation. Easily I slip another finger inside her, my hand wet with her arousal.
“Daunt, please. I want to come.”
“I know you can wait longer for me. No”, I state calmly.
“Daunt, please let me come!”
“No. You’ll wait”, I command.
“I don’t know if I can!” Madison’s left hand darts out clutching the car’s door handle, knuckles turning white. I can feel her legs beginning to tremble. Her right hand tightly grips my bicep.
Madison’s eyes look into mine intently pleading. I look back at her while her body shudders under my ministrations. I wait watching until I fear she truly can’t hold back anymore. Quietly while looking her in the eyes I say, “Come for me Madison.”
As soon as the words have left my lips her body succums. A moan escapes her lips and she shakes, her pussy throbbing and squirting over my hand. The seat is soaked with the ecstasy of her climax. As she works to regain her composure I kiss her gently.
“Wow”, she giggles. “The seat is soaked. I think there is a towel in the back.”
As I hear her speak a thought occurs to me. I can’t be inside her this evening, but I can take some of her with me. “Madison, I want your panties.”
“Oh, you do huh?” she chuckles through a smile.
“Yes, I do.”
“Well okay!” she replies. She gets out the car and with a delightful wiggle slips her panties off, jumps back in the car and hands them to me. They are very wet. I could wring them out if I wanted, but I dismiss that thought quickly -- that’d be foolish.
I give Madison a goodnight kiss thanking her for her gift and get in my car. Yes. Part of her is with me all the way home.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Potpourri from Kat
I have several things I want to share with you, Prowlers, so I thought I'd put them in one post. I'm all about efficiency. Actually, I'm not, but it sounds good, doesn't it?
Naked Women - I love looking at photos of hot women. I'm sure I'm not alone. Raise your hand if you like admiring hot naked women. Yes, I see many hands up. Some of you have two hands up. Excellent. The problem, though, is that Cara hasn't given us any pics for a while, and neither has SoccerMom. I don't think they will be contributing in the near future. What to do? What to do? So, I'm putting this out there for any of our girlie prowlers who want to show off their stuff. If you have a sexy photo you'd like to share, please send it. No, we won't pay you for it and, no, it won't make you famous. But we'll be grateful. Sure, I could find some stock photos of hot women to post, but I prefer real women, don't you? Besides, the whole point of PWK is keeping it real.
Lunch with Hubby and Daunt - Daunt and I get together for lunch regularly. As part of the effort to make Hubby feel comfortable with his wife going out for a social lunch every week with a good looking younger man, Hubby has an open invitation to join us whenever he wants. He always says no. Until this week.
It should be ok, I thought. This wasn't the first time that the three of us have gone out together. We went out to a movie and dinner a couple of weeks ago. That should have broken the ice, I thought.
I thought wrong. There were long pregnant pauses, extended periods of silence, and an unusual preoccupation with the food. I really don't give a damn about what was giving the vinaigrette that sweet flavor, but I sure played along like it mattered.
Why? Because I was desperate. I had a vested interest in Hubby feeling comfortable. But every thing I thought of to say had to be filtered several times to make sure it wasn't about AM, the blog, or sex. Every now and then Daunt would throw out a safe question. "What are you reading?" I'd light up because I could answer that. Surely it was safe.....whoa!!!! I had to stop myself before I mentioned the naughty title I'm reading. The good news is that I did catch myself.
Then I found myself slipping into "nervous Kat" mode. When I'm nervous, I talk too much, I giggle a lot (and I am not a giggler by nature) and I become much too flamboyant. I saw it happening, but I couldn't stop it. The train wreck was coming. I saw it. I was yelling at myself, For God's sake, stop! The deathly silence is better than this! But I couldn't stop.
Fortunately, there was no train wreck. We got out of there in time. The bottom line is that it felt like a bad date. Daunt says it wasn't that bad, but that means he either wasn't paying attention or his standards regarding dates are very low. Which is it, Daunt?
Magic Mike - Hubby and I went to see the movie, Magic Mike last night. Yes, I was able to talk Hubby into taking me to a movie about male strippers. How? If I told you, I'd have to kill you. It's a wifely secret passed down for generations - the way to get your husband to do absolutely anything you want.
Ok, I'll tell you. I promised him a full-swallow blow job....and he could go to sleep after and not have to do anything for me. His response was, "What theater and what showing?"
I'll be writing a full review of the movie this weekend, so I don't want to say much about it now. All I'll say is that if you like to watch muscular and fit gorgeous men dance and strip down to thongs while doing it (and I sure do!), you will love this movie.
Cock Gallery - Now I know this is going to sound very strange to some of you, but stay with me. After I wrote the post about cock pictures, I had an interesting idea. Have you ever seen that movie with Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon - The Banger Sisters? There's a place in the movie where they are looking at the photos of the cocks of all the men they fucked in their younger years. It made me wish that I kept a memento from my prowling buddies. It seems like one of the only appropriate uses for a cock pic.
Anyway, since that ship has sailed for all my fuck buddies from the past, I thought it might be fun to start a Cock Gallery here. We have our HNT pics and naughty photos of women. So why not men?
So, here's the deal: If you want to be included in the Cock Gallery, you should send me a photo via email of any part of your body that you would like to share. No, you do not have to send a photo of your cock. You can send a photo of your chest (have I mentioned that I love men's chest and shoulders?), your back, your arm, your hands, your butt and, yes, your cock if you want. Send a picture of whatever you think is the sexiest part of you. But please, no faces (although pictures of facial features - eyes, etc. - are ok). No names or user names will be attached to any of the photos. I'll probably assign them numbers for ease of discussion.
This is a chance to show off, Gentlemen! I'll set up a page just for you.
By the way, I didn't tell Daunt about this, so I suspect he's a bit surprised by the idea. Daunt,.....surprise!
Naked Women - I love looking at photos of hot women. I'm sure I'm not alone. Raise your hand if you like admiring hot naked women. Yes, I see many hands up. Some of you have two hands up. Excellent. The problem, though, is that Cara hasn't given us any pics for a while, and neither has SoccerMom. I don't think they will be contributing in the near future. What to do? What to do? So, I'm putting this out there for any of our girlie prowlers who want to show off their stuff. If you have a sexy photo you'd like to share, please send it. No, we won't pay you for it and, no, it won't make you famous. But we'll be grateful. Sure, I could find some stock photos of hot women to post, but I prefer real women, don't you? Besides, the whole point of PWK is keeping it real.
Lunch with Hubby and Daunt - Daunt and I get together for lunch regularly. As part of the effort to make Hubby feel comfortable with his wife going out for a social lunch every week with a good looking younger man, Hubby has an open invitation to join us whenever he wants. He always says no. Until this week.
It should be ok, I thought. This wasn't the first time that the three of us have gone out together. We went out to a movie and dinner a couple of weeks ago. That should have broken the ice, I thought.
I thought wrong. There were long pregnant pauses, extended periods of silence, and an unusual preoccupation with the food. I really don't give a damn about what was giving the vinaigrette that sweet flavor, but I sure played along like it mattered.
Why? Because I was desperate. I had a vested interest in Hubby feeling comfortable. But every thing I thought of to say had to be filtered several times to make sure it wasn't about AM, the blog, or sex. Every now and then Daunt would throw out a safe question. "What are you reading?" I'd light up because I could answer that. Surely it was safe.....whoa!!!! I had to stop myself before I mentioned the naughty title I'm reading. The good news is that I did catch myself.
Then I found myself slipping into "nervous Kat" mode. When I'm nervous, I talk too much, I giggle a lot (and I am not a giggler by nature) and I become much too flamboyant. I saw it happening, but I couldn't stop it. The train wreck was coming. I saw it. I was yelling at myself, For God's sake, stop! The deathly silence is better than this! But I couldn't stop.
Fortunately, there was no train wreck. We got out of there in time. The bottom line is that it felt like a bad date. Daunt says it wasn't that bad, but that means he either wasn't paying attention or his standards regarding dates are very low. Which is it, Daunt?
Magic Mike - Hubby and I went to see the movie, Magic Mike last night. Yes, I was able to talk Hubby into taking me to a movie about male strippers. How? If I told you, I'd have to kill you. It's a wifely secret passed down for generations - the way to get your husband to do absolutely anything you want.
Ok, I'll tell you. I promised him a full-swallow blow job....and he could go to sleep after and not have to do anything for me. His response was, "What theater and what showing?"
I'll be writing a full review of the movie this weekend, so I don't want to say much about it now. All I'll say is that if you like to watch muscular and fit gorgeous men dance and strip down to thongs while doing it (and I sure do!), you will love this movie.
Cock Gallery - Now I know this is going to sound very strange to some of you, but stay with me. After I wrote the post about cock pictures, I had an interesting idea. Have you ever seen that movie with Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon - The Banger Sisters? There's a place in the movie where they are looking at the photos of the cocks of all the men they fucked in their younger years. It made me wish that I kept a memento from my prowling buddies. It seems like one of the only appropriate uses for a cock pic.
Anyway, since that ship has sailed for all my fuck buddies from the past, I thought it might be fun to start a Cock Gallery here. We have our HNT pics and naughty photos of women. So why not men?
So, here's the deal: If you want to be included in the Cock Gallery, you should send me a photo via email of any part of your body that you would like to share. No, you do not have to send a photo of your cock. You can send a photo of your chest (have I mentioned that I love men's chest and shoulders?), your back, your arm, your hands, your butt and, yes, your cock if you want. Send a picture of whatever you think is the sexiest part of you. But please, no faces (although pictures of facial features - eyes, etc. - are ok). No names or user names will be attached to any of the photos. I'll probably assign them numbers for ease of discussion.
This is a chance to show off, Gentlemen! I'll set up a page just for you.
By the way, I didn't tell Daunt about this, so I suspect he's a bit surprised by the idea. Daunt,.....surprise!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Giants I Would Love to Fuck (GILF)...and a Little about the All Star Game
It's the day after the National League won the 2012 All Star game, 8-0. I have some things I'd like to say about it, but I know I'd lose half of you (at least) if I wrote a post about nothing but baseball, so I'll add some sex to it at the end. It's not hard for me to add sex to baseball....or just about anything for that matter.
Anyway, for those of you who don't know it yet, there were four Giants in the starting line-up for the National League All Star team this year - three were elected and one (pitcher Matt Cain) was selected by the NL team manager. Sounds like all was as it should be, doesn't it? It was, except for the fact that all the other NL teams were whining and moaning because so many Giants were elected.
"It's not fair!" "They manipulated the electronic voting system!"
Wah wah wah.
Boo hoo.
It's not our fault that we're smarter than the rest of you. Some fans (I won't mention the team) are still trying to punch their choices into the computer screen like it was still the old punch card system. San Francisco fans are tech savvy. We know how to vote online. We have multiple email addresses we can use for voting...and we know how to get as many as we want. Many of us know how to write scripts to enable us and our friends to vote faster. That's not cheating. It's simply using the system to our maximum advantage.
How is that any different from when Midwestern Little League coaches would take thousands of punch cards and have their players punch away after practice?
It's not.
Get over it.
But look what happened. Who were the star players in the game last night? The Giants, of course! The big hits, the big runs, and the starting shut out pitching that set the tone for the defense all came from....who?
The Giants.
So, on behalf of northern California computer geek baseball fans, I say to all those other National League fans (the whiner ones as well as the grown up ones), "You're welcome."
On another note, the game provided me with a wonderful opportunity to gaze lustfully at excellent players from both leagues. As I was imagining each of them without their clothes on (and regretting it, in some cases), I started thinking about which Giants players I would love to fuck (GILF - Giants I would Love to Fuck).
Here's what I came up with:
(Pitchers first)
Jeremy Affeldt - Sure, I'd ride that horse, but he's seriously Christian and the prayer between fucks would probably be distracting.
Madison Bumgarner - Too young.
Matt Cain - Too "All American Boy."
Santiago Casilla - Too intense.
Tim Lincecum - Nah. I'm afraid his marijuana use might affect his performance. Besides, I don't trust men whose hair is longer than mine.
Javier Lopez - Definitely yes!!! Tall (6'4"), clean cut, Latino, gorgeous. I think I'll send an email to him now.
Brad Penny - Absolutely! Tall, a grown man with some meat on him....and have you seen the size of his feet? You know what that means, right?
Sergio Romo - Too sweet.
Ryan Vogelsong - Too easily offended.
Barry Zito - Some of you know this and some of you don't. Barry Zito is my secret crush. Not so secret anymore, I suppose. Smart, handsome, musically talented, and the best looking ass ever seen on national TV. Seriously, check it out the next time he's pitching. And now he's married! That's great news because now he's not off limits for me. Hehehe. I think I'll tweet him now.
Buster Posey - Too young.
Hector Sanchez - Nah. I have no good reason. He just doesn't do anything for me. Of course, if he showed up at my door and said, "Wanna fuck?" my panties would be off pretty quickly.
Joaquin Arias - No, and I have no good reason, but I love how he plays third base and short. I'd like to see him more.
Brandon Belt - Too young and that extra long neck is just freaky.
Brandon Crawford - Hell, yes! He's one of the prettiest of the pretty boys on the team. I've played with myself a time or two while fantasizing about a threesome with Brandon and Angel Pagan. Whew.....it's getting warm in here.
Angel Pagan - See above. Very hot. I imagine him as the type that starts out slow and gentle but then ramps up the heat and dominance. I'd put money on a bet that he's a hair puller. Yummmm.
Pablo Sandoval - No. He's just like a little kid. And I prefer my lovers to be able to stay focused.
Gregor Blanco - No. No reason.
Melky Cabrera - I love Melky but not as a potential fuck buddy. He's a very sweet mama's boy and not expressive enough for my taste.
Nate Schierholtz - Nope. I love Nate but I actually have a friend who knows his girlfriend and that would be weird.
I know I left out a few - Justin Christian, Emmanuel Burriss, George Kontos, Clay Hensley. They inspire nothing in me.
Anyway, for those of you who don't know it yet, there were four Giants in the starting line-up for the National League All Star team this year - three were elected and one (pitcher Matt Cain) was selected by the NL team manager. Sounds like all was as it should be, doesn't it? It was, except for the fact that all the other NL teams were whining and moaning because so many Giants were elected.
"It's not fair!" "They manipulated the electronic voting system!"
Wah wah wah.
Boo hoo.
It's not our fault that we're smarter than the rest of you. Some fans (I won't mention the team) are still trying to punch their choices into the computer screen like it was still the old punch card system. San Francisco fans are tech savvy. We know how to vote online. We have multiple email addresses we can use for voting...and we know how to get as many as we want. Many of us know how to write scripts to enable us and our friends to vote faster. That's not cheating. It's simply using the system to our maximum advantage.
How is that any different from when Midwestern Little League coaches would take thousands of punch cards and have their players punch away after practice?
It's not.
Get over it.
But look what happened. Who were the star players in the game last night? The Giants, of course! The big hits, the big runs, and the starting shut out pitching that set the tone for the defense all came from....who?
The Giants.
So, on behalf of northern California computer geek baseball fans, I say to all those other National League fans (the whiner ones as well as the grown up ones), "You're welcome."
On another note, the game provided me with a wonderful opportunity to gaze lustfully at excellent players from both leagues. As I was imagining each of them without their clothes on (and regretting it, in some cases), I started thinking about which Giants players I would love to fuck (GILF - Giants I would Love to Fuck).
Here's what I came up with:
(Pitchers first)
Jeremy Affeldt - Sure, I'd ride that horse, but he's seriously Christian and the prayer between fucks would probably be distracting.
Madison Bumgarner - Too young.
Matt Cain - Too "All American Boy."
Santiago Casilla - Too intense.
Tim Lincecum - Nah. I'm afraid his marijuana use might affect his performance. Besides, I don't trust men whose hair is longer than mine.
Javier Lopez - Definitely yes!!! Tall (6'4"), clean cut, Latino, gorgeous. I think I'll send an email to him now.
Brad Penny - Absolutely! Tall, a grown man with some meat on him....and have you seen the size of his feet? You know what that means, right?
Sergio Romo - Too sweet.
Ryan Vogelsong - Too easily offended.
Barry Zito - Some of you know this and some of you don't. Barry Zito is my secret crush. Not so secret anymore, I suppose. Smart, handsome, musically talented, and the best looking ass ever seen on national TV. Seriously, check it out the next time he's pitching. And now he's married! That's great news because now he's not off limits for me. Hehehe. I think I'll tweet him now.
Buster Posey - Too young.
Hector Sanchez - Nah. I have no good reason. He just doesn't do anything for me. Of course, if he showed up at my door and said, "Wanna fuck?" my panties would be off pretty quickly.
Joaquin Arias - No, and I have no good reason, but I love how he plays third base and short. I'd like to see him more.
Brandon Belt - Too young and that extra long neck is just freaky.
Brandon Crawford - Hell, yes! He's one of the prettiest of the pretty boys on the team. I've played with myself a time or two while fantasizing about a threesome with Brandon and Angel Pagan. Whew.....it's getting warm in here.
Angel Pagan - See above. Very hot. I imagine him as the type that starts out slow and gentle but then ramps up the heat and dominance. I'd put money on a bet that he's a hair puller. Yummmm.
Pablo Sandoval - No. He's just like a little kid. And I prefer my lovers to be able to stay focused.
Gregor Blanco - No. No reason.
Melky Cabrera - I love Melky but not as a potential fuck buddy. He's a very sweet mama's boy and not expressive enough for my taste.
Nate Schierholtz - Nope. I love Nate but I actually have a friend who knows his girlfriend and that would be weird.
I know I left out a few - Justin Christian, Emmanuel Burriss, George Kontos, Clay Hensley. They inspire nothing in me.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Outdoor Sex - July Sex Blog Chain
The topic for the Sex Blog Chain this month is Outdoor Sex (or Summer Sex). We have some really nice entries for you from our blogger friends.
There are eight sexy stories of hot outdoor sex here. Read them all. Comment about them. I guarantee that you'll be hard (or wet, for our lady friends) before you're finished reading them all.
Please share the Chain with your friends and be sure to follow these fantastic bloggers if you don't already.
Enjoy!
Camp Fire Chat - Our first post this month is from Same Sassy Girl. This chat conversation between her and Phil starts out with tame talk about camp and then it heats up quickly. Who's up for camping?
Sex and Mountain Biking; A Great Mix - Ponyboy shares the little secret he and his wife have about the time they fucked in the woods while on a bike ride. Apparently, Ponyboy likes outdoor sex a lot... especially with sluts who like to fuck in the woods. Well, at least with one special one, anyway.
Outdoors with Shannon (a.k.a. It's Good to Touch the Green Green Grass of Home) - Ryan Beaumont tells a great story about outdoor sex with Shannon early in their marriage. Warning: The sex in this post is very, very hot.
At the Campsite - Max tells a wonderful story of being surprised at his campsite by a neighboring camper. It's beautifully written and it includes nipple play. What more could you want? Seriously, this is writing worth reading.
The County Road - One of the benefits of living in the country is that a place for a good outdoor fuck is never far away. This post tells the story of my outdoor sex with my beloved JJ last year on a not-so-quiet country road. Date with Seattle Guy (Part 2) is also about outdoor sex. A beautiful Seattle summer night, a deserted park, romantic city lights, and a fine specimen of Seattle manhood..... yum!
Outdoors - Fantasy or Memory? - This is Advizor54's contribution to the Chain. He wrote his own summary so I'll just spend this time kicking back as you read. "We were hiking in the Angeles Crest national park in the early morning. Few hikers were on the trail and we held hands and laughed, keeping our voices down to honor the silent morning. It was an anniversary trip and the kids were home with my mother. As I held his hand and walked up the trail, the plan formed in my head. As the sun came up and the temperature increased I saw my opportunity. A large flat rock facing the sun just off the trail behind some trees. I couldn’t imagine I was the first one to think of it."
Consumed in Silence - W, author of Internal Pathways to Contention, joins us this month with an account of a nice motorcycle ride to a secluded spot and ....... I'll just say that this story is very, very hot, and it wins the "Made Kat Purr" award for the month. And the photos are scrumptious, too.
You may have noticed that I didn't include blogger bios this time. I think I'll put them all together and create a page just for them. That will keep our monthly Chain post focused on sex, as it should be.
Don't forget to spread the word about our Chain to others. If you want to be included in my reminder emails each month, just send me an email and let me know. And please don't forget to support these bloggers who have shared their writing with you - follow them, subscribe to their blogs, and tell your friends.
Finally, the topic for our August Chain post is Kinky Sex. If you're interested in contributing, you can get all the information you need here. Whether or not you are planning to contribute, I think you should all go out and have some very kinky sex - just because. I definitely plan on doing the same. ;-)
There are eight sexy stories of hot outdoor sex here. Read them all. Comment about them. I guarantee that you'll be hard (or wet, for our lady friends) before you're finished reading them all.
Please share the Chain with your friends and be sure to follow these fantastic bloggers if you don't already.
Enjoy!
Camp Fire Chat - Our first post this month is from Same Sassy Girl. This chat conversation between her and Phil starts out with tame talk about camp and then it heats up quickly. Who's up for camping?
Sex and Mountain Biking; A Great Mix - Ponyboy shares the little secret he and his wife have about the time they fucked in the woods while on a bike ride. Apparently, Ponyboy likes outdoor sex a lot... especially with sluts who like to fuck in the woods. Well, at least with one special one, anyway.
Outdoors with Shannon (a.k.a. It's Good to Touch the Green Green Grass of Home) - Ryan Beaumont tells a great story about outdoor sex with Shannon early in their marriage. Warning: The sex in this post is very, very hot.
At the Campsite - Max tells a wonderful story of being surprised at his campsite by a neighboring camper. It's beautifully written and it includes nipple play. What more could you want? Seriously, this is writing worth reading.
The County Road - One of the benefits of living in the country is that a place for a good outdoor fuck is never far away. This post tells the story of my outdoor sex with my beloved JJ last year on a not-so-quiet country road. Date with Seattle Guy (Part 2) is also about outdoor sex. A beautiful Seattle summer night, a deserted park, romantic city lights, and a fine specimen of Seattle manhood..... yum!
Outdoors - Fantasy or Memory? - This is Advizor54's contribution to the Chain. He wrote his own summary so I'll just spend this time kicking back as you read. "We were hiking in the Angeles Crest national park in the early morning. Few hikers were on the trail and we held hands and laughed, keeping our voices down to honor the silent morning. It was an anniversary trip and the kids were home with my mother. As I held his hand and walked up the trail, the plan formed in my head. As the sun came up and the temperature increased I saw my opportunity. A large flat rock facing the sun just off the trail behind some trees. I couldn’t imagine I was the first one to think of it."
Consumed in Silence - W, author of Internal Pathways to Contention, joins us this month with an account of a nice motorcycle ride to a secluded spot and ....... I'll just say that this story is very, very hot, and it wins the "Made Kat Purr" award for the month. And the photos are scrumptious, too.
You may have noticed that I didn't include blogger bios this time. I think I'll put them all together and create a page just for them. That will keep our monthly Chain post focused on sex, as it should be.
Don't forget to spread the word about our Chain to others. If you want to be included in my reminder emails each month, just send me an email and let me know. And please don't forget to support these bloggers who have shared their writing with you - follow them, subscribe to their blogs, and tell your friends.
Finally, the topic for our August Chain post is Kinky Sex. If you're interested in contributing, you can get all the information you need here. Whether or not you are planning to contribute, I think you should all go out and have some very kinky sex - just because. I definitely plan on doing the same. ;-)
Monday, July 9, 2012
Minding My Own Business...and Interrupted by a Cock
I was sitting at my desk at work today, minding my own business, when I got a text from JJ. It was a photo of his delicious, thick, erect cock. The message with it read, "I need to put this someplace....any ideas?"
I love how that man thinks.
Now before y'all start sending me cock pics (please don't), you need to understand that I'm not a huge fan of them except when the appendage in the photo is one I'm quite fond of and when it is attached to someone I care about. Both are important. For example, I care about Daunt very much, but I'm not particularly fond of his cock....not that there's anything wrong with it, of course, but I wouldn't know because it's not a toy he shares with me.
Ok, that's a bad example. Let me try another.....Young One has a gorgeous cock and I'm quite fond of it, but I barely know the guy so there's not much emotion there. Getting a cock pic from him would be weird.
I've had strangers send me cock pics before. Yup, I just open my email and whoa! there it is, winking at me proudly. It's a bit shocking, though, when you're just minding your own business innocently. Ok, I'm never innocent, but you know what I mean.
I wonder if the cock pic is the next generation of exhibitionism, the indecent exposure of the digital age. Interesting thought, no?
When strangers send their cock pics, I wonder what they are trying to accomplish. Do they really expect me to say, "Oh my god! That is the most amazing cock I've ever seen! I must have it! When can you meet?" I hope not because leading with a cock pic is probably one of the best ways to ensure you won't get a meeting.
It's not that women don't like cocks. Clearly, most of us do. But I've never fallen in love with a cock. I've never developed an emotional connection with a cock. I've never felt safe in a cock's arms (ok, they don't have arms, but even if they did....). I've never laughed at a cock's jokes.
And no matter how big a guy's pecker is, it's not his biggest sex organ. His brain is. It's his brain that tells him what to say and do, how to touch a woman, and how to use that precious dick of his.
I'm sure you've seen or heard this:
The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874, and the first helmet was used in 1974.It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.
The brain is actually more important to great sex than the cock is, so why do so many men agonize over size? I've written about size before (Does Size Matter?). The bottom line is that it's not the most important thing in the great sex equation, and most women are not anywhere near as concerned about size as men are.
Here's where I'm about burst your bubble guys. You may want to sit down. While there are variations in size, color, and shape that make each dick unique to its owner, most cocks look and feel pretty much the same. Of course, a really big cock feels different inside than a really small one, but unless you are part of the 10% of men on those extremes, your cock isn't special.
(I know, I know. This isn't what your girlfriend is telling you. Sorry about that.)
It's what you do with it (and the rest of your body) that makes sex with you special, unique, different, worthwhile. I'll write a post soon about what I mean by "what you do with it," sharing some of the techniques that some of my favorite partners have used to...uh....maximize their assets.
Back to JJ (mmm....always back to JJ.....)....
There was something else that accompanied the picture he sent:
"I've been walking around with a rock hard cock all weekend, thinking about you."
The part that made my pussy twitch was the "walking around with a rock hard cock" part, but the part that touched my heart, kept me connected to him, and made me want to see him again soon was "thinking about you."
I told you I like smart men.
I love how that man thinks.
Now before y'all start sending me cock pics (please don't), you need to understand that I'm not a huge fan of them except when the appendage in the photo is one I'm quite fond of and when it is attached to someone I care about. Both are important. For example, I care about Daunt very much, but I'm not particularly fond of his cock....not that there's anything wrong with it, of course, but I wouldn't know because it's not a toy he shares with me.
Ok, that's a bad example. Let me try another.....Young One has a gorgeous cock and I'm quite fond of it, but I barely know the guy so there's not much emotion there. Getting a cock pic from him would be weird.
I've had strangers send me cock pics before. Yup, I just open my email and whoa! there it is, winking at me proudly. It's a bit shocking, though, when you're just minding your own business innocently. Ok, I'm never innocent, but you know what I mean.
I wonder if the cock pic is the next generation of exhibitionism, the indecent exposure of the digital age. Interesting thought, no?
When strangers send their cock pics, I wonder what they are trying to accomplish. Do they really expect me to say, "Oh my god! That is the most amazing cock I've ever seen! I must have it! When can you meet?" I hope not because leading with a cock pic is probably one of the best ways to ensure you won't get a meeting.
It's not that women don't like cocks. Clearly, most of us do. But I've never fallen in love with a cock. I've never developed an emotional connection with a cock. I've never felt safe in a cock's arms (ok, they don't have arms, but even if they did....). I've never laughed at a cock's jokes.
And no matter how big a guy's pecker is, it's not his biggest sex organ. His brain is. It's his brain that tells him what to say and do, how to touch a woman, and how to use that precious dick of his.
I'm sure you've seen or heard this:
The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874, and the first helmet was used in 1974.It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.
The brain is actually more important to great sex than the cock is, so why do so many men agonize over size? I've written about size before (Does Size Matter?). The bottom line is that it's not the most important thing in the great sex equation, and most women are not anywhere near as concerned about size as men are.
Here's where I'm about burst your bubble guys. You may want to sit down. While there are variations in size, color, and shape that make each dick unique to its owner, most cocks look and feel pretty much the same. Of course, a really big cock feels different inside than a really small one, but unless you are part of the 10% of men on those extremes, your cock isn't special.
(I know, I know. This isn't what your girlfriend is telling you. Sorry about that.)
It's what you do with it (and the rest of your body) that makes sex with you special, unique, different, worthwhile. I'll write a post soon about what I mean by "what you do with it," sharing some of the techniques that some of my favorite partners have used to...uh....maximize their assets.
Back to JJ (mmm....always back to JJ.....)....
There was something else that accompanied the picture he sent:
"I've been walking around with a rock hard cock all weekend, thinking about you."
The part that made my pussy twitch was the "walking around with a rock hard cock" part, but the part that touched my heart, kept me connected to him, and made me want to see him again soon was "thinking about you."
I told you I like smart men.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Dream Captive
Laying in bed, in that hazy spot between awake and asleep, I start to think about you. It's not the only time during the day when I think about you, but in the other times I'm at work or in some other situation where I can't really let myself go, so I retreat from the thoughts of you and force myself to focus on something else.
But as I'm going to bed, I indulge in decadent thoughts of you kissing me and caressing me with your hands. I pull you on top of me and wrap my legs around you, feeling your hardness press against me.
You know what I want, what I need, what I've been waiting for for so long. You enter me and I gasp. It's a gasp of pleasure, of relief, of need, of longing.
You lean down and kiss me deeply. I tighten my legs around you and surround your shoulders with my arms, pulling you into me. As I do, I pull you into my dreams my with me.
You're my captive for the night. My dream captive. I'll do everything to you that I've been almost desperate to do, but I can't do during my waking hours because you're so far away.
I won't release you until morning, and even then I won't release you because I want to, but because the daylight will come to reclaim you, ripping you away from me until I can capture you again.
But as I'm going to bed, I indulge in decadent thoughts of you kissing me and caressing me with your hands. I pull you on top of me and wrap my legs around you, feeling your hardness press against me.
You know what I want, what I need, what I've been waiting for for so long. You enter me and I gasp. It's a gasp of pleasure, of relief, of need, of longing.
You lean down and kiss me deeply. I tighten my legs around you and surround your shoulders with my arms, pulling you into me. As I do, I pull you into my dreams my with me.
You're my captive for the night. My dream captive. I'll do everything to you that I've been almost desperate to do, but I can't do during my waking hours because you're so far away.
I won't release you until morning, and even then I won't release you because I want to, but because the daylight will come to reclaim you, ripping you away from me until I can capture you again.
My New Phone
I got a new phone a few weeks ago. Yes, I switched from the iPhone to an Android device. I used to swear that I would never give up my iPhone and I dutifully upgraded with every new release. However, an unusual chain of events led me to make the switch, and since I'm the geek in the family, I also switched Hubby and the boys.
I'm very happy with the move. My new phone is much easier to customize and, ohmygod, the screen is so much bigger! That may not mean anything to you, but to those of us more mature folks, it's a big deal. I've found it very helpful to be able to actually see what's on the screen. There are many other things I like, too, but that's not what this post is about. I have no interest in attempting to convert any iPhone users to Android, although if you feel compelled to make a case for one or the other in the comments, feel free.
This post is about one of the things I like least about my new phone - autocorrect.
Now I know that the iPhone has autocorrect issues, too, but this new phone has an autocorrect gremlin on steroids. It has made naughty texting (also known as sexting) particularly difficult.
Take these examples:
Intended text: I wanna be your whore.
Autocorrected version: I wanna be yuppie white.
Are you kidding me?
Here's more:
Intended text: Mmmm...I want you to eat my pussy and suck on my clit.
Autocorrected version: Mmmm.... I want you to eat my post ant such on my clout.
Intended text: I love the way you fuck my ass so hard.
Autocorrected text: I love the way you duck my as so heard.
Even the simple ones can be a problem:
Intended text: I want you.
Autocirrected text: I rant toy.
Intended text: That is so hot.
Autocorrected text: They is do hat.
Fuck!
Or "Duck!" as my autocorrect would say, which is good advice because I'll be throwing this phone soon.
I'm very happy with the move. My new phone is much easier to customize and, ohmygod, the screen is so much bigger! That may not mean anything to you, but to those of us more mature folks, it's a big deal. I've found it very helpful to be able to actually see what's on the screen. There are many other things I like, too, but that's not what this post is about. I have no interest in attempting to convert any iPhone users to Android, although if you feel compelled to make a case for one or the other in the comments, feel free.
This post is about one of the things I like least about my new phone - autocorrect.
Now I know that the iPhone has autocorrect issues, too, but this new phone has an autocorrect gremlin on steroids. It has made naughty texting (also known as sexting) particularly difficult.
Take these examples:
Intended text: I wanna be your whore.
Autocorrected version: I wanna be yuppie white.
Are you kidding me?
Here's more:
Intended text: Mmmm...I want you to eat my pussy and suck on my clit.
Autocorrected version: Mmmm.... I want you to eat my post ant such on my clout.
Intended text: I love the way you fuck my ass so hard.
Autocorrected text: I love the way you duck my as so heard.
Even the simple ones can be a problem:
Intended text: I want you.
Autocirrected text: I rant toy.
Intended text: That is so hot.
Autocorrected text: They is do hat.
Fuck!
Or "Duck!" as my autocorrect would say, which is good advice because I'll be throwing this phone soon.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Doubt
One of the things I've known for a long time is that I had no doubt at all if this prowling lifestyle was right for me. Some things were missing from my marriage - mostly sexual, but not all sexual - that I could get outside the marriage. When I had those things, I was happier with my life in general, including with my marriage.
The things that were missing were not an indication of a shortcoming on my husband's part at all. They are just the natural results of many long-term marriages - lack of passion in the bedroom, boring sex, a sense of suffocation from being fused to another human being for so long. There was no "my life" anymore; it was "our life." I didn't have friends; we had our friends.
Our names start with the same letter so half the time (literally, about half the time) people call me by his name. But most people who know us both (which is almost everyone we know) don't even both to call me by an individual name. It's like we are one unit and our name is a run together version of what used to be our individual names (Mr.-Kat-and-Kat) or just the initials, "Are K&K going to be there?"
When I started prowling again a couple years ago, after an 8-year hiatus from the lifestyle in an attempt to "be good," what I really wanted was some breathing room. I loved my husband (I still do). The lack of passion between us left me wondering what kind of love I had for him, but there was never any doubt that I wanted him in my life.
But after that 8 years, the lack of passionate sex and the K&K straight-jacket were killing me. What happened is exactly what had happened before. I went outside the marriage, found what I needed, felt great, and all was well. For a while. Then I found out about hubby's cheating. And he found out about mine. My reaction to his was to ask for an open marriage. His declined my request. Apparently, he was ok with sex outside of the marriage as long as it was for him and not for me.
His reaction to learning about me was to have a breakdown. Knowing I cheated (and he has no idea of the extent of it) pulled the rug out from under him and rocked his emotional world. It has taken many months for him to regain his footing. In the meantime, I've been on a very tight leash, which of course has made me feel more confined. What he was doing as a way to cope with his feelings and hold onto me was exactly the thing that made me want to get away from him and get some space.
And while I'm getting some space, why not have some fantastic and passionate sex at the same time?
There's a reason I'm recapping this story. Stay with me.....
Things are changing. He's trying to give me some room to have at least a little bit of a life of my own. He's trying very hard to make sex more satisfying for me. Is it all that I want? No. Not even close. But it's better. When I look into his eyes now, I don't see him looking through me. I see him looking at me. Unlike in the past, when he's with me, he's present. And lately, I have been, too.
This man has been with me for 25 years, through good times and bad. And I mean really bad. We've hurt each other. We've helped each other.We've got a quarter century's worth of shared history between us. He's willing to let me call the shots. I can have whatever freedom I want. All he wants is for me to stop having sex with other men. That's it. That one thing.
He won't leave me if I keep having sex outside the marriage, but it makes him terribly unhappy and anxious. It makes him terrified that I'll meet someone else I like better and leave him. So, if I can just do that one thing for him, he'll work on the rest for me. Specifically, he'll take off the leash he's had on me for 25 years.
What does all this mean?
It means that, for the first time in the 20 years that I've been prowling, I have some doubt. My certainty that this prowling lifestyle is right for me is wavering. For the first time, I'm considering if I can give my husband the one thing he wants.
Can I look at fidelity as a gift rather than as a noose?
Can I be happy with a life of mediocre sex?
Can I stop looking at men as potential sex partners?
If he gives me what I want most (some freedom and independence), will I be able to give him what he wants (fidelity)?
I don't have any answers. I only have doubt.
The things that were missing were not an indication of a shortcoming on my husband's part at all. They are just the natural results of many long-term marriages - lack of passion in the bedroom, boring sex, a sense of suffocation from being fused to another human being for so long. There was no "my life" anymore; it was "our life." I didn't have friends; we had our friends.
Our names start with the same letter so half the time (literally, about half the time) people call me by his name. But most people who know us both (which is almost everyone we know) don't even both to call me by an individual name. It's like we are one unit and our name is a run together version of what used to be our individual names (Mr.-Kat-and-Kat) or just the initials, "Are K&K going to be there?"
When I started prowling again a couple years ago, after an 8-year hiatus from the lifestyle in an attempt to "be good," what I really wanted was some breathing room. I loved my husband (I still do). The lack of passion between us left me wondering what kind of love I had for him, but there was never any doubt that I wanted him in my life.
But after that 8 years, the lack of passionate sex and the K&K straight-jacket were killing me. What happened is exactly what had happened before. I went outside the marriage, found what I needed, felt great, and all was well. For a while. Then I found out about hubby's cheating. And he found out about mine. My reaction to his was to ask for an open marriage. His declined my request. Apparently, he was ok with sex outside of the marriage as long as it was for him and not for me.
His reaction to learning about me was to have a breakdown. Knowing I cheated (and he has no idea of the extent of it) pulled the rug out from under him and rocked his emotional world. It has taken many months for him to regain his footing. In the meantime, I've been on a very tight leash, which of course has made me feel more confined. What he was doing as a way to cope with his feelings and hold onto me was exactly the thing that made me want to get away from him and get some space.
And while I'm getting some space, why not have some fantastic and passionate sex at the same time?
There's a reason I'm recapping this story. Stay with me.....
Things are changing. He's trying to give me some room to have at least a little bit of a life of my own. He's trying very hard to make sex more satisfying for me. Is it all that I want? No. Not even close. But it's better. When I look into his eyes now, I don't see him looking through me. I see him looking at me. Unlike in the past, when he's with me, he's present. And lately, I have been, too.
This man has been with me for 25 years, through good times and bad. And I mean really bad. We've hurt each other. We've helped each other.We've got a quarter century's worth of shared history between us. He's willing to let me call the shots. I can have whatever freedom I want. All he wants is for me to stop having sex with other men. That's it. That one thing.
He won't leave me if I keep having sex outside the marriage, but it makes him terribly unhappy and anxious. It makes him terrified that I'll meet someone else I like better and leave him. So, if I can just do that one thing for him, he'll work on the rest for me. Specifically, he'll take off the leash he's had on me for 25 years.
What does all this mean?
It means that, for the first time in the 20 years that I've been prowling, I have some doubt. My certainty that this prowling lifestyle is right for me is wavering. For the first time, I'm considering if I can give my husband the one thing he wants.
Can I look at fidelity as a gift rather than as a noose?
Can I be happy with a life of mediocre sex?
Can I stop looking at men as potential sex partners?
If he gives me what I want most (some freedom and independence), will I be able to give him what he wants (fidelity)?
I don't have any answers. I only have doubt.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)