Happy Halloween! I was about to let this holiday pass with no post because Dauntless did such a nice job with Madison's Return, but Cara sent me a message asking about a Halloween post. I got to thinking... I could write about different costumes I've worn or role paying, but the more I thought, the more it occurred to me that I've had more than enough scary stories to share.
Scary stories. I'm talking about prowling experiences gone bad. If you have been out there for more than 5 minutes, you probably have a scary story or two (or three or four) of your own.
Selfish BJ Guy - This guy and I had met a few times. Not much happened. We chatted, kissed a little. Then I made what turned out to be a huge mistake - I gave him a blow job. Normally, I wouldn't think of that as a mistake, but this time it created a monster. This guy wasn't interested in much else, which made him very un-interesting to me. I thought I had extricated myself from the situation politely, but then a couple of months later he just shows up....at my office.....during business hours....expecting a BJ. I can't even begin to describe that moment of panic when someone from my prowling world shows up in my real life unannounced and threatening to expose me if I don't comply with what he wants. After I collected myself, I walked him outside and reminded him that I knew where he worked, and his full name, and his wife's name, and that I could do just as much damage to him as he could do to me. He suddenly decided that he should go. Smart move.
Parking Lot Guy - This guy and I had met just a few times prior to this scary event. He seemed like a nice guy. I had no reason to be afraid of him. Then one day I met him for lunch to tell him that I couldn't see him anymore. What I didn't tell him was that I had just met JJ and, well, you all know how I feel about JJ. Anyway, I thought the lunch and the conversation went well. We walked out to the parking lot to where my car was parked right next to his van. I turned to give him a goodbye hug, but he had something different in mind. He started kissing me, rubbing against me, holding me next to him. For a moment I thought it was just an overzealous goodbye kiss, but I soon realized that it was more than that. I struggled to push him away, but he wasn't having any of that, and he started groping me and ranting and raving about what a whore I was and how I had promised him a long term sexual relationship, blah, blah, blah.
I finally pushed him away enough to slip out from between him and my car, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. As I turned to face him and tell him to let me go, he hit me. Yup, that's right. He hit me. Closed fist, right on the jaw as he yelled, "Bitch!" He got in his van and drove away, and I collected myself, got off the ground, got in car, and drove away. So much for the conversation going well.
Panicked about STDs Guy - I met this guy online, as I met most of my prowling buddies. We chatted and emailed online and shared phone calls for what seemed like a long time before we actually met in person. This was before my experience with Parking Lot Guy, but I really didn't want a one time hook-up. I was looking for a friend, a long term fuck buddy kind of relationship, and this guy seemed like he could be it. Seriously, everything seemed right. We arranged to meet for coffee. That went well. He asked about my past relationships. I told the truth. We decided to meet for some more intimate fun. We met and we both had a great time. I mean it. It was very, very good.
As we were walking to the parking lot after, we were making arrangements for our next meeting. Then I kissed him goodbye and I got into my car. I rolled down the window because he indicated he wanted to say something else, and he asked me a question about STDs. I replied that I was just tested a few weeks ago and I was clean, and I hadn't been with anyone since then. He got a strange look on his face and then he got in his car and drove away. Within an hour, I got an email from him calling me a liar because, in his opinion, the fact that I was tested meant that I was afraid I might have been exposed, and he felt I lied to him about that and he could never have a relationship with a liar. Huh? He instructed me not to attempt to reach him again.
Disappearing Guy - This isn't one guy, but a whole bunch of guys. They are the ones who start email correspondence and then just drop out of sight. They are the ones who seem interested, set up a time to meet, and then don't comunicate at all after that. They are the ones who hook up and disappear.
Falling in Love Guy - Nothing screws up a nice fuck buddy relationship faster than falling in love. That sounds terribly jaded, doesn't it? Well, I have nothing against love or falling in love. In fact, I'm all for it, but only if the "don't even ask me to leave my spouse" arrangement remains in place. You all know I love my current honey very much. It works because there's no pressure to leave my husband, who I also love very much. Every now and then over the years I have run into Falling in Love Guys. Things start out great and then before I know it, they are asking me to leave my family. WTF????
Stalker Guy - Most women in the prowling world have met at least one Stalker Guy. This is the guy who won't take no for an answer. He calls, texts, and emails obsessively. He shows up unannounced. He tells you that he is certain that you belong together. Sometimes it just stays at that level, but sometimes he gets angry and starts threatening to hurt you or tell your husband if you don't sleep with him. Sometimes you see him parked outside your office or your home just watching you. My Stalker Guy was named Joe, and yes, I called the police.
I have a few more scary stories, but I think this is enough for one Halloween.
So, what are your scary prowling stories?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Madison's Return Continued
For those that are new, you may want to read the first half of Madison’s Return before continuing. Enjoy.
--DauntlessD
___________
After receiving her unexpected text message Madison and I caught up a little on the phone and arranged a time to meet. I hadn't seen her in person for quite some time and was very much looking forward to it. The week leading up to our date had progressed slowly with work and the general turmoil of my life. Finally, as if the time would never come, I’m packing up and heading to the restaurant.
Striding through the back entrance I find that Madison had just arrived too. She's rounding the bar eyes scanning looking for me. Our eyes meet with recognition and our faces glow with joy.
She's attractive as I remember, hips swaying as she strolls toward me on her high-heel shoes. I drink in the lovely summery dress and make a point not to let my eyes linger too long on her beckoning cleavage; I don’t want to miss out on those beautiful sky blue eyes.
After a quick hug and a cheeky hello kiss we sit at the bar. I had nearly forgotten how much I simply enjoy being with Madison. I am still surprised at how easy she is to talk to. The mildly awkward silences that seem to occur when building new relationships were filled with light touches, lingering stares and sweet kisses; I enjoyed every moment of it.
The evening comes to a close and finally I have Madison in my arms next to her car. Comfortable. Safe. I’m struck with the easy feeling that she simply belongs in my embrace. Friendly caresses and light good-bye kisses are soon overwhelmed by a longing that surprises us both.
Madison breaths me into deep long lingering kiss. My hands roam over her body to cup her face. Together our hearts quicken to match the burgeoning arousal; the gate was open and didn't want to close. I’m kissing her neck, tasting her skin. She throws a leg around me and writhes as my hand glides up her thigh. She twists around in my arms grabbing my hands, guiding them to her breasts. I pull her tightly to me and she moans wriggling her ass against my now swollen cock.
I turn and press Madison to her car, we’re both trying to convince each other to slow down. Her leg is still wrapped around me and the sexual energy is thick in the air. With effort and more soft lingering kisses the once runaway train is slowly brought to a stop. Panting, battling our inner desires, we slowly untangle our embrace.
Yes, it was good to have her back.
--DauntlessD
___________
After receiving her unexpected text message Madison and I caught up a little on the phone and arranged a time to meet. I hadn't seen her in person for quite some time and was very much looking forward to it. The week leading up to our date had progressed slowly with work and the general turmoil of my life. Finally, as if the time would never come, I’m packing up and heading to the restaurant.
Striding through the back entrance I find that Madison had just arrived too. She's rounding the bar eyes scanning looking for me. Our eyes meet with recognition and our faces glow with joy.
She's attractive as I remember, hips swaying as she strolls toward me on her high-heel shoes. I drink in the lovely summery dress and make a point not to let my eyes linger too long on her beckoning cleavage; I don’t want to miss out on those beautiful sky blue eyes.
After a quick hug and a cheeky hello kiss we sit at the bar. I had nearly forgotten how much I simply enjoy being with Madison. I am still surprised at how easy she is to talk to. The mildly awkward silences that seem to occur when building new relationships were filled with light touches, lingering stares and sweet kisses; I enjoyed every moment of it.
The evening comes to a close and finally I have Madison in my arms next to her car. Comfortable. Safe. I’m struck with the easy feeling that she simply belongs in my embrace. Friendly caresses and light good-bye kisses are soon overwhelmed by a longing that surprises us both.
Madison breaths me into deep long lingering kiss. My hands roam over her body to cup her face. Together our hearts quicken to match the burgeoning arousal; the gate was open and didn't want to close. I’m kissing her neck, tasting her skin. She throws a leg around me and writhes as my hand glides up her thigh. She twists around in my arms grabbing my hands, guiding them to her breasts. I pull her tightly to me and she moans wriggling her ass against my now swollen cock.
I turn and press Madison to her car, we’re both trying to convince each other to slow down. Her leg is still wrapped around me and the sexual energy is thick in the air. With effort and more soft lingering kisses the once runaway train is slowly brought to a stop. Panting, battling our inner desires, we slowly untangle our embrace.
Yes, it was good to have her back.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Saturday Serial - A New World
Life threw me a curve ball and it has been some time since I posted the last chapter. I hope to be more regular with my Saturday Serial posts from this point forward. For those that have been been following, you may want a refresher. The last post was called Searching. To start at the beginning go to Morning Heartache.
For those that are new Saturday Serial, it is an ongoing saga of fiction that is not quite fiction.; I'm drawing from events within my own life and weaving them into a story. At this point we have three characters introduced, Danny, Rachel and Becka. Danny is loosely me, Rachel is Danny's wife and Becka is someone Danny may or may not get to know. Enjoy.
--DauntlessD
_______
Danny arrives at work with minutes to spare. Pulling the emergency brake he turns the key to shutdown the engine. The 20 year old Datsun pickup's engine slows and begins to sputter. Leaving the vehicle in gear Danny eases the clutch out slowly to force the engine to stop, he had learned this trick to prevent it from backfiring. Grabbing his red vest off of the bench seat he hops out and heads toward the store.
After moving his small family back from Las Vegas Danny had decided on a career change. Having always been good with his hands he enjoyed carpentry, but he found doing it full time as a job just didn't agree with him. He viewed Home Warehouse as a stepping stone to something else. Assuming the mantle of "employee" he slips the vest on and takes his place at the Special Orders station.
The day creeps by slowly. As each customer comes to him with the same tired questions his mind is on meeting his new friends. Over the past few weeks Danny had discovered a number of local online forums. One in particular called, Red Light Underground, he had grown to like several people he had met. Yes, it was somewhat of a singles forum -- well maybe swingers forum was more accurate -- but bottom line the people were fun. Men had to pay to join and women were free and it worked; there were roughly the same number of women as men. Danny was married but nobody asked or cared, they were just there for fun.
While getting to know people and enjoying the group chat sessions a get together was arranged. An open invitation was set to meet at Anne's, a quaint bar at the edge of a Sacramento suburb. Danny was in luck. Rachel, his wife, had left to visit her parents and would be gone for the night.
His shift finally ends and Danny removes his vest and heads for his pickup. Pumping the gas pedal twice and turning the key the engine sputters to life; his little truck is old but reliable. Backing out of the parking space he steers the vehicle to the street and heads toward Roseville, Anne's Saloon and adventure.
For those that are new Saturday Serial, it is an ongoing saga of fiction that is not quite fiction.; I'm drawing from events within my own life and weaving them into a story. At this point we have three characters introduced, Danny, Rachel and Becka. Danny is loosely me, Rachel is Danny's wife and Becka is someone Danny may or may not get to know. Enjoy.
--DauntlessD
_______
Danny arrives at work with minutes to spare. Pulling the emergency brake he turns the key to shutdown the engine. The 20 year old Datsun pickup's engine slows and begins to sputter. Leaving the vehicle in gear Danny eases the clutch out slowly to force the engine to stop, he had learned this trick to prevent it from backfiring. Grabbing his red vest off of the bench seat he hops out and heads toward the store.
After moving his small family back from Las Vegas Danny had decided on a career change. Having always been good with his hands he enjoyed carpentry, but he found doing it full time as a job just didn't agree with him. He viewed Home Warehouse as a stepping stone to something else. Assuming the mantle of "employee" he slips the vest on and takes his place at the Special Orders station.
The day creeps by slowly. As each customer comes to him with the same tired questions his mind is on meeting his new friends. Over the past few weeks Danny had discovered a number of local online forums. One in particular called, Red Light Underground, he had grown to like several people he had met. Yes, it was somewhat of a singles forum -- well maybe swingers forum was more accurate -- but bottom line the people were fun. Men had to pay to join and women were free and it worked; there were roughly the same number of women as men. Danny was married but nobody asked or cared, they were just there for fun.
While getting to know people and enjoying the group chat sessions a get together was arranged. An open invitation was set to meet at Anne's, a quaint bar at the edge of a Sacramento suburb. Danny was in luck. Rachel, his wife, had left to visit her parents and would be gone for the night.
His shift finally ends and Danny removes his vest and heads for his pickup. Pumping the gas pedal twice and turning the key the engine sputters to life; his little truck is old but reliable. Backing out of the parking space he steers the vehicle to the street and heads toward Roseville, Anne's Saloon and adventure.
Friday, October 28, 2011
The Message
My phone vibrates. I know it's you, but I can't look at the message right now. He's sitting right next to me. I'm hoping he didn't hear the buzzing sound because if he did, I know he'll suspect something.
He's watching. I don't reach for the phone. I act like it doesn't matter to me at all, but my heart is pounding in my chest. Hearing from you is like a drug for me. I haven't seen you for what seems like a long, long time. Messages from you are all I have to keep me connected to you. And I just know that there is one waiting for me right now, 12 inches away, but I can't look at it. Not yet.
I wonder what it says. Will it be a simple and casual, "Hey" or something more substantial? It really doesn't matter what it says. What matters is that it's from you. You have reached out to connect, reminding me that I'm still important in your life, that in the middle of your busy evening, when you can't be caught sending a message, you take the chance to steal a moment to let me know you're thinking of me. I marvel at how you can pack so much thought, intention, and emotion into a few words.
We haven't had time to communicate much for several days, and I really do miss you. Several things have happened that I have wanted to tell you about, but they will have to wait until we have time. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to find enough time to catch up on all the things that come up in between our conversations. Heck, I'm ok with just sitting with you and not saying anything (yes, I know you must be chuckling right now at the thought of me not saying anything. Haha). The touch of your hand speaks clearly to me.
Even when you don't speak, I hear you.
He stands up and walks to the back of the house to get something. I wait until he's far down the hall and I hear our bedroom door open before I reach for the phone and check the message quickly.
I sigh. That's just what I needed to lift me out of the malaise I've been in. Like a cool drink of water on a hot summer's day, your message calms and refreshes me.
I quickly type out a reply. As I hit send, I hear his footsteps coming back toward the living room. I put the phone back exactly where it was before he left, and return to reading my Kindle. I try not to smile, but the happiness I feel at hearing from you is practically bubbling out of me. I decide to let it out, so I smile and laugh, pretending that I just read something very funny.
"Good book, huh?" he asks.
"Very good," I reply.
I stare at the page, smiling, but I'm not reading. I'm thinking about you. I'm wondering what you are doing right now. I'm remembering how you looked sitting across the table at that coffee place, sipping iced tea and telling me about some of the things going on in your life. I could have sat there just looking at you for a few hours more that day, but we both had to go.
Sometimes I wish that we could have the time to just hang out together and enjoy each other's company, but time is a rare luxury for us. Every moment we carve out for each other is stolen from someone or something else - work, family, friends, hobbies - so we usually spend our time with each other in minutes, rather than hours - minutes like the one stolen for the message you just sent. Our relationship has been built over many months of a few minutes at a time.
My thoughts of you are interrupted by him telling me he's going to get some ice cream. As he goes to the kitchen, I reach for the phone. I'll have time to send you a short message while he's gone. As soon as I pick up the phone, it vibrates again.
I smile, inside and out.
It's another message from you.
He's watching. I don't reach for the phone. I act like it doesn't matter to me at all, but my heart is pounding in my chest. Hearing from you is like a drug for me. I haven't seen you for what seems like a long, long time. Messages from you are all I have to keep me connected to you. And I just know that there is one waiting for me right now, 12 inches away, but I can't look at it. Not yet.
I wonder what it says. Will it be a simple and casual, "Hey" or something more substantial? It really doesn't matter what it says. What matters is that it's from you. You have reached out to connect, reminding me that I'm still important in your life, that in the middle of your busy evening, when you can't be caught sending a message, you take the chance to steal a moment to let me know you're thinking of me. I marvel at how you can pack so much thought, intention, and emotion into a few words.
We haven't had time to communicate much for several days, and I really do miss you. Several things have happened that I have wanted to tell you about, but they will have to wait until we have time. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to find enough time to catch up on all the things that come up in between our conversations. Heck, I'm ok with just sitting with you and not saying anything (yes, I know you must be chuckling right now at the thought of me not saying anything. Haha). The touch of your hand speaks clearly to me.
Even when you don't speak, I hear you.
He stands up and walks to the back of the house to get something. I wait until he's far down the hall and I hear our bedroom door open before I reach for the phone and check the message quickly.
I sigh. That's just what I needed to lift me out of the malaise I've been in. Like a cool drink of water on a hot summer's day, your message calms and refreshes me.
I quickly type out a reply. As I hit send, I hear his footsteps coming back toward the living room. I put the phone back exactly where it was before he left, and return to reading my Kindle. I try not to smile, but the happiness I feel at hearing from you is practically bubbling out of me. I decide to let it out, so I smile and laugh, pretending that I just read something very funny.
"Good book, huh?" he asks.
"Very good," I reply.
I stare at the page, smiling, but I'm not reading. I'm thinking about you. I'm wondering what you are doing right now. I'm remembering how you looked sitting across the table at that coffee place, sipping iced tea and telling me about some of the things going on in your life. I could have sat there just looking at you for a few hours more that day, but we both had to go.
Sometimes I wish that we could have the time to just hang out together and enjoy each other's company, but time is a rare luxury for us. Every moment we carve out for each other is stolen from someone or something else - work, family, friends, hobbies - so we usually spend our time with each other in minutes, rather than hours - minutes like the one stolen for the message you just sent. Our relationship has been built over many months of a few minutes at a time.
My thoughts of you are interrupted by him telling me he's going to get some ice cream. As he goes to the kitchen, I reach for the phone. I'll have time to send you a short message while he's gone. As soon as I pick up the phone, it vibrates again.
I smile, inside and out.
It's another message from you.
Madison's Return
Daunt? What the heck to you mean, Madison is returning? The last I heard she was already here?
Ahh yes, that’s right you all don’t know! You see, the story you read in my last post happened nearly 8 months ago. Madison and I had a lovely first meeting and we continued to talk... then... life seemed to get in the way. Our contact with each other diminished, scheduling attempts at meetings waned, and things just seemed to die. For nearly five months I had had no word from Madison and then... Oops! Never mind I don’t want to ruin the story for you so read on!
__________
Chatting with Wil, I pull open the door and walk into the Mongolian barbecue restaurant we go to for lunch on occasion. We step in line to wait our turn, Wil is describing a new programming library he has been playing with. I idly pull my mobile phone from my pocket pushing the button to light the screen.
Are you around? I know it's been a long time. How are you?
Madison. Seeing the text actually causes me to sway in surprise. Wil's chatter and the cacophony of the restaurant lunch crowd go silent, I am suddenly very alone with my thoughts. Quietly I stare at the text message with only the steady drum of my heart.
It had been a long time since I had spoken with Madison. She had gone on vacation with her husband and then drifted away. I had assumed that she was trying to refocus effort on her marriage and that her husband was likely making an effort too. If that was the case I didn't want to insert himself and be a disruption. When I stopped hearing from her I silently wished her the best and hoped she was well.
Now, she was back. Some overwhelming force within me had caused me to start searching for... something -- I didn’t know what I was looking for, but while looking I met Madison. That pressure, whatever it was, had largely subsided. The changes I had been making in my life had begun to take root. Generally I was beginning to feel more content and this allowed me more clarity to reflect on what had drove me out in the first place. I discovered the answer was friendships. Friends that would accept and enjoy my whole personality with no pretending. Would Madison accept this?
Closing my eyes I sigh heavily. There was something different about Madison. The memory of her mischievous smile and her sparkling blue eyes looking back at me over a wine glass was alluring. Today it feels like ages ago, but the hungry kiss we shared remains fresh in my mind. Yes, I would accept her friendship, but inside I knew she could be more -- I wanted her to be more.
My work week had been unusually busy, it felt unfair to reply to Madison's message -- at that moment I simply didn't have the time to give. Guiltily I turn off the display on my phone and return it to my pocket. I turn and find Wil looking at me expectantly. Chagrined I realize he had asked me a question. I answer Wil’s question, then try to go about my day; but my concentration is divided. My mind always seems to drift back to Madison and her text message.
Finally once the work week had slowed down I sent a reply to her text message. Given the delay of my response she had thought that maybe I was angry with her. Not true. We arrange to meet at the restaurant where we had met the very first time.
And then...
Ahh yes, that’s right you all don’t know! You see, the story you read in my last post happened nearly 8 months ago. Madison and I had a lovely first meeting and we continued to talk... then... life seemed to get in the way. Our contact with each other diminished, scheduling attempts at meetings waned, and things just seemed to die. For nearly five months I had had no word from Madison and then... Oops! Never mind I don’t want to ruin the story for you so read on!
__________
Chatting with Wil, I pull open the door and walk into the Mongolian barbecue restaurant we go to for lunch on occasion. We step in line to wait our turn, Wil is describing a new programming library he has been playing with. I idly pull my mobile phone from my pocket pushing the button to light the screen.
Madison. Seeing the text actually causes me to sway in surprise. Wil's chatter and the cacophony of the restaurant lunch crowd go silent, I am suddenly very alone with my thoughts. Quietly I stare at the text message with only the steady drum of my heart.
It had been a long time since I had spoken with Madison. She had gone on vacation with her husband and then drifted away. I had assumed that she was trying to refocus effort on her marriage and that her husband was likely making an effort too. If that was the case I didn't want to insert himself and be a disruption. When I stopped hearing from her I silently wished her the best and hoped she was well.
Now, she was back. Some overwhelming force within me had caused me to start searching for... something -- I didn’t know what I was looking for, but while looking I met Madison. That pressure, whatever it was, had largely subsided. The changes I had been making in my life had begun to take root. Generally I was beginning to feel more content and this allowed me more clarity to reflect on what had drove me out in the first place. I discovered the answer was friendships. Friends that would accept and enjoy my whole personality with no pretending. Would Madison accept this?
Closing my eyes I sigh heavily. There was something different about Madison. The memory of her mischievous smile and her sparkling blue eyes looking back at me over a wine glass was alluring. Today it feels like ages ago, but the hungry kiss we shared remains fresh in my mind. Yes, I would accept her friendship, but inside I knew she could be more -- I wanted her to be more.
My work week had been unusually busy, it felt unfair to reply to Madison's message -- at that moment I simply didn't have the time to give. Guiltily I turn off the display on my phone and return it to my pocket. I turn and find Wil looking at me expectantly. Chagrined I realize he had asked me a question. I answer Wil’s question, then try to go about my day; but my concentration is divided. My mind always seems to drift back to Madison and her text message.
Finally once the work week had slowed down I sent a reply to her text message. Given the delay of my response she had thought that maybe I was angry with her. Not true. We arrange to meet at the restaurant where we had met the very first time.
And then...
How I Screwed Up My Prowling
I know how to cheat and not get caught. I didn't screw up because I didn't know how to keep it hidden. I screwed up because I let my guard down and started breaking my own rules and guidelines.
I knew I was doing it, too. I had become so cocky that I didn't think I could be caught because I was just too good at flying under the radar.
In short, I was an idiot.
After a long, long time of successful prowling, I started to let my guard down. I spend too much time online in the evenings. I started staying late at work much more than was reasonable. I carried my phone with me at all times (even at home when there was no need for it to be on my person) and I scrambled whenever Hubby reached for it. I wasn't deleting naughty texts and emails anymore. I started getting sloppy about my excuses for where I would be when I went out for play time.
And the mistake that ultimately forced me to admit things to Hubby - I used a business credit card for a local hotel, and Hubby had access to the records. When he was just an hour or so away from discovering that charge, I told him. I am still convinced that it was better for him to hear it from me directly than to find out as he looked through bank records.
I am very fortunate that the fallout has not been negative - no divorce, no separation. In fact, my marriage is better now than it has been for over two decades, but it could easily have gone the other way - all because I was careless.
The Advice for Prowlers page includes link to many posts with excellent advice for Prowlers. Read it, but remember that you need to do more than read it. Knowing how to avoid being caught is worthless information unless you apply it.
Take it from an idiot who learned the hard way.
I knew I was doing it, too. I had become so cocky that I didn't think I could be caught because I was just too good at flying under the radar.
In short, I was an idiot.
After a long, long time of successful prowling, I started to let my guard down. I spend too much time online in the evenings. I started staying late at work much more than was reasonable. I carried my phone with me at all times (even at home when there was no need for it to be on my person) and I scrambled whenever Hubby reached for it. I wasn't deleting naughty texts and emails anymore. I started getting sloppy about my excuses for where I would be when I went out for play time.
And the mistake that ultimately forced me to admit things to Hubby - I used a business credit card for a local hotel, and Hubby had access to the records. When he was just an hour or so away from discovering that charge, I told him. I am still convinced that it was better for him to hear it from me directly than to find out as he looked through bank records.
I am very fortunate that the fallout has not been negative - no divorce, no separation. In fact, my marriage is better now than it has been for over two decades, but it could easily have gone the other way - all because I was careless.
The Advice for Prowlers page includes link to many posts with excellent advice for Prowlers. Read it, but remember that you need to do more than read it. Knowing how to avoid being caught is worthless information unless you apply it.
Take it from an idiot who learned the hard way.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
HNT - Can't We Have a Peek?
I love this picture of sweet Cara. If she would just move one of her legs a little bit......
Let me share some of the frustration we went through for today's HNT over here at PWK. First, Cara wanted a week or two off from HNT. Can you believe that? How selfish! LOL That meant that DauntlessD or I would have to step up. Daunt just said no, so that left me. I had a pic ready. I was going to post it......then.... I got cold feet. I'm ok, but I'm no Cara. Maybe I'll post it next week.....
Let me share some of the frustration we went through for today's HNT over here at PWK. First, Cara wanted a week or two off from HNT. Can you believe that? How selfish! LOL That meant that DauntlessD or I would have to step up. Daunt just said no, so that left me. I had a pic ready. I was going to post it......then.... I got cold feet. I'm ok, but I'm no Cara. Maybe I'll post it next week.....
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Negotiating with Hubby
It was almost two weeks ago that I revealed my infidelity to Hubby. He told me about his a couple of months ago. Now that the "Kat is out of the bag," so to speak, we have spent the better part of the last couple of weeks deciding how we want our marriage to work.
Our starting points were almost as far apart as you can imagine. I wanted an open marriage in which we both could have sex with others, as long as we didn't lie to each other about it. He wanted to go back to what he thought was going on before - he can have sex outside the marriage, but I remain faithful. We each vetoed the other's starting proposal.
At first, the issue was sex. He came around to, "OK, let's start over, and both of us will be faithful and honest." I met him part way with, "Sounds good, but I'll remain faithful only if you can meet my sexual needs."
As we talked, though, it became clear that sex wasn't the only issue. Hubby was also concerned about emotional fidelity (specifically, he doesn't want me becoming emotionally attached to another man - with or without a sexual relationship). I was concerned about being controlled and monitored too much, living a life with no freedom at all. I'm not talking about sexual freedom, but the freedom to go out with friends if I want, the freedom to talk to whoever I want, and befriend whomever I choose.
My insistence on having some emotional space, coupled with my seeming nonchalance about whether he has sex with other women or not, flipped Hubby's insecurity switch, complicating our negotiations. I learned that no matter how much you tell a man that you are not going to leave him, once you have had sex with another man, he apparently will never believe you.
I pointed out to him that he was having sex with a bunch of women over a period of years, and he didn't leave me. He clearly understands the difference between sex and love. Why can't he believe that I know the difference, too? It seems that men are just wired to believe that they can fool around and still remain with the family, but women can't do the same.
To a man, a woman's infidelity is a huge betrayal, but his own infidelity is just a minor indiscretion that doesn't mean he is any less devoted to his wife.
Huh?
So, how have we resolved this? So far, we have an agreement that has several components:
The most surprising change? Our sex life. We have had sex on 11 of the last 13 nights. And not just sex, but really great sex! It seems that the idea of competition has caused Hubby to shift into high gear in the bedroom. If I had known this would happen, I would have 'fessed up much sooner. I expect it to cool down at some point, but it's really nice right now. I plan to enjoy it as long as I can.
Where do we go from here? Who knows? What matters is that we're still together, we love each other, and we're walking through it together.
Our starting points were almost as far apart as you can imagine. I wanted an open marriage in which we both could have sex with others, as long as we didn't lie to each other about it. He wanted to go back to what he thought was going on before - he can have sex outside the marriage, but I remain faithful. We each vetoed the other's starting proposal.
At first, the issue was sex. He came around to, "OK, let's start over, and both of us will be faithful and honest." I met him part way with, "Sounds good, but I'll remain faithful only if you can meet my sexual needs."
As we talked, though, it became clear that sex wasn't the only issue. Hubby was also concerned about emotional fidelity (specifically, he doesn't want me becoming emotionally attached to another man - with or without a sexual relationship). I was concerned about being controlled and monitored too much, living a life with no freedom at all. I'm not talking about sexual freedom, but the freedom to go out with friends if I want, the freedom to talk to whoever I want, and befriend whomever I choose.
My insistence on having some emotional space, coupled with my seeming nonchalance about whether he has sex with other women or not, flipped Hubby's insecurity switch, complicating our negotiations. I learned that no matter how much you tell a man that you are not going to leave him, once you have had sex with another man, he apparently will never believe you.
I pointed out to him that he was having sex with a bunch of women over a period of years, and he didn't leave me. He clearly understands the difference between sex and love. Why can't he believe that I know the difference, too? It seems that men are just wired to believe that they can fool around and still remain with the family, but women can't do the same.
To a man, a woman's infidelity is a huge betrayal, but his own infidelity is just a minor indiscretion that doesn't mean he is any less devoted to his wife.
Huh?
So, how have we resolved this? So far, we have an agreement that has several components:
- We agreed that we will talk more and keep the lines of communication open. We are doing very well with this. I think we have talked more in the last two weeks than we have in any year of our marriage. We are checking in with each other emotionally a lot, and talking a lot more about what we each like sexually. We are also receiving couples counseling.
- We agreed that we will remain faithful to each other - at least for now - but that either of us can bring this up for renegotiation at any time. OK, I'll be honest. I'm not giving up my honey. So, I'm back to a little prowling, but much less than before. In fact, we get together so infrequently that it's almost like I've given up prowling, but not.
- We agreed that we would spend more time together to develop our relationship. This means bringing back our weekly "date night" and doing more things together. It also means that I'll only work late if I have no other choice and that I'll try to avoid weekend work, too. If you own a business, as I do, you know that this is no small commitment.
- We agreed that he would let me have time for myself and that he won't constantly monitor me. This means I can chat with Daunt or any other friend without his reading over my shoulder and constantly asking what we're talking about. It means I can go out with Cara and Daunt without getting the third degree when I return. It means I can choose my own friends, and have a couple of hours a couple of times a week all to myself. This may not seem like a big deal to many of you, but I have had to lie or sneak around to get any of these for the last 23 years.
The most surprising change? Our sex life. We have had sex on 11 of the last 13 nights. And not just sex, but really great sex! It seems that the idea of competition has caused Hubby to shift into high gear in the bedroom. If I had known this would happen, I would have 'fessed up much sooner. I expect it to cool down at some point, but it's really nice right now. I plan to enjoy it as long as I can.
Where do we go from here? Who knows? What matters is that we're still together, we love each other, and we're walking through it together.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
DauntlessD meets Madison
Even though I left you hanging like Riff Dog, I won’t leave you hanging as long! Well, not quite as long at least. As you will recall from the DauntlessD Exposed post, I dropped a couple of hints: saucy and Madison.
I met Madison through Ashley Madison and it was one of those rare occasions when I was approached first. For those guys out there still using Ashley Madison I’m going to drop one of my secrets, one I didn’t share in my earlier post about shining up your profile. Ready? Got your pencils out? Good.
At the very bottom of my profile I ask for a very specific type of Wink, Hey I’m sure I would like to meet you, but if you want to meet me I need you to send me an ‘I can’t wait to tell you about...’ Wink.
Everyone that has used Ashley Madison for a bit of time learns quickly that the Winks are worthless, but if I received an ‘I can’t wait to tell you about...’ Wink it told me a couple of things. That the woman actually read my profile and she was interested. Yes, this is how Madison fell into my evil clutches [cue evil wicked laughter].
I’ve mentioned a couple of times my old-school upbringing, you mix that with a guy that was shy growing up, throw in a dash of getting married young and you get: Me; I can be oblivious to picking up on a gals signals.
I’ve asked Madison to share the experience of our first meeting so I can bring you, our PWK readers, a kind of he said, she said story. Um, and please, try and laugh with me and not at me ;-)
Enjoy,
DauntlessD
___________
Daunt: I had been enjoying my email and text exchanges with Madison and was looking forward to our first in-person meeting. Upon entering the restaurant I head for the bar and spot her. She was easy to pick out from the photos she had sent me. She was cute. Very cute. I found her more attractive in person than in the photos. I walk over and make my awkward introduction.
“Madison?”
She smiles and looks up, “Oh, you must be Daunt.” As I take the seat next to her she leans in and gives me a light kiss on my cheek.
Madison: I had wondered how it would be to meet Daunt for the first time. Would I be as attracted to him as I was through our correspondence? When I first saw him I thought mmmmm he is not done justice in the pictures he sent. He had an incredible smile and something of a different look... I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly what was different, but I did know I liked it. I had a million things on my mind in a jumble and found it hard to organize my thoughts. I’m not sure why, but that's when I spontaneously leaned in to give him that peck on the cheek. Afterward I was surprised to realize how comfortable I actually felt.
Daunt: I was definitely feeling attraction and was surprised how relaxed Madison seemed. When she gave me that little kiss on the cheek it sent my nervousness into overdrive.
We begin some light chit-chat and she sees me scanning the bar. “Would you like something to drink?”, she asks. She had been sipping on some red wine and I was undecided on whether I wanted wine or beer. Then she settles it for me when she holds her glass out to me, “This wine is very good would you like to try it?”
Daunt: Honestly I was a bit surprised when she offered to let me drink from her glass, maybe I shouldn’t have been; but we’d only known each other in person for a few minutes. I was enjoying the conversation, smiles and blue eyes. To her it was probably no big deal, but I found the gesture endearing.
Madison: It was becoming clear to me how nervous Daunt was. I thought offering him some wine may help him relax -- I was actually growing concerned he may not be able to relax at all. Typically I'm attracted to strong and somewhat aggressive men. I made a decision to just be myself, I thought if I do that and give him a little time he will surely settle down; if he didn't no harm, maybe we just weren't a match. Soon I found conversation getting easier and was really enjoying it. We were starting to connect and suddenly it seemed we had a million things to talk about. A man with intelligence that can carry a conversation and has manners. I thought, this can't be real, but I was finding it very attractive.
To anyone observing it would be clear we were enjoying each other’s company. Soon we were seated close, very close. Madison reaches out and begins rubbing my thigh.
Daunt: When she touched me it was like electricity flowed out of her fingertips. My heart was pounding and I felt like a little boy. My body was wanting to charge ahead, but my mind, with its ingrained hardwired “treat women right” mentality won out; don’t misinterpret Daunt, you want to be sure. So did I acknowledge or respond to her touch? Nope.
Madison: Being affectionate is second nature to me. When I reached out and touched Daunt I began to question whether he was attracted to me. There was no reaction from him. I found this confusing, I am used to men responding much differently to this type of affection. I chalked it up to nerves and again wondered if he ever relax. Suddenly I found the situation funny. I laughed without realizing it, then he was asking me why I was laughing. I didn’t want to embarrass him so I ducked the question and asked if I could get another glass of wine.
Finally after a very long time I reached out pulled her close and said, “Come here”. I leaned in for a light sweet kiss, which she accepted with a smile.
Daunt: I know I waited way too long to go for that kiss...
Madison: God, what in the world took him so long to do that? Also I worried a little because the kiss didn’t feel like I expected it to; I didn’t feel passion or desire. I was thinking, Damn, how long can the man stay nervous? I decided that if he can’t relax in the next 30 minutes, then this not going any further than tonight; just a few drinks and dinner -- or maybe just the drinks. I like guys that take charge. I understand being nervous, but I was beginning to feel it wasn’t going to change.
The night comes to a close and it’s time to go. The weather was awful with heavy wind and rain. We walk out of the restaurant hand in hand and I steal a hug and a few more light kisses. She had used the valet to park her car, Madison offered to drive me to mine.
The valet arrives and I climb into the passenger seat. Upon reaching my car I leaned in for a good night kiss. The kiss became passionate, deep. My hand slid gently behind her neck and pulled her in close.
Daunt: I loved that kiss. It lingered in my mind for a long time after. I was pretty charged up by it.
Madison: Oh... that kiss surprised me I became lost in it. I could feel his desire and it was exactly the kind of kiss I was wanting and waiting for. I struggled to keep myself in check and not lose control. I was feeling swept up and was thankful there wasn’t a bed around. I’m not easy. I don’t just hop into bed with any guy, but suddenly I was full of desire. I was shocked at the thoughts I was suddenly having. I wanted him to caress my breasts. I wondered if I had on a skirt where his hands may have explored. That kiss left me trembling, warm and breathless; and oh yes a bit moist.
At this point I had finally relaxed and didn’t want Madison to leave. But we had had no plans setup for anything but a first meeting, so gave her another quick kiss and got out of the car.
I was definitely looking forward to seeing her again.
__________
So there you have it folks DauntlessD’s first meeting with Madison. Smooth wasn’t I?
I met Madison through Ashley Madison and it was one of those rare occasions when I was approached first. For those guys out there still using Ashley Madison I’m going to drop one of my secrets, one I didn’t share in my earlier post about shining up your profile. Ready? Got your pencils out? Good.
At the very bottom of my profile I ask for a very specific type of Wink, Hey I’m sure I would like to meet you, but if you want to meet me I need you to send me an ‘I can’t wait to tell you about...’ Wink.
Everyone that has used Ashley Madison for a bit of time learns quickly that the Winks are worthless, but if I received an ‘I can’t wait to tell you about...’ Wink it told me a couple of things. That the woman actually read my profile and she was interested. Yes, this is how Madison fell into my evil clutches [cue evil wicked laughter].
I’ve mentioned a couple of times my old-school upbringing, you mix that with a guy that was shy growing up, throw in a dash of getting married young and you get: Me; I can be oblivious to picking up on a gals signals.
I’ve asked Madison to share the experience of our first meeting so I can bring you, our PWK readers, a kind of he said, she said story. Um, and please, try and laugh with me and not at me ;-)
Enjoy,
DauntlessD
___________
Daunt: I had been enjoying my email and text exchanges with Madison and was looking forward to our first in-person meeting. Upon entering the restaurant I head for the bar and spot her. She was easy to pick out from the photos she had sent me. She was cute. Very cute. I found her more attractive in person than in the photos. I walk over and make my awkward introduction.
“Madison?”
She smiles and looks up, “Oh, you must be Daunt.” As I take the seat next to her she leans in and gives me a light kiss on my cheek.
Madison: I had wondered how it would be to meet Daunt for the first time. Would I be as attracted to him as I was through our correspondence? When I first saw him I thought mmmmm he is not done justice in the pictures he sent. He had an incredible smile and something of a different look... I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly what was different, but I did know I liked it. I had a million things on my mind in a jumble and found it hard to organize my thoughts. I’m not sure why, but that's when I spontaneously leaned in to give him that peck on the cheek. Afterward I was surprised to realize how comfortable I actually felt.
Daunt: I was definitely feeling attraction and was surprised how relaxed Madison seemed. When she gave me that little kiss on the cheek it sent my nervousness into overdrive.
We begin some light chit-chat and she sees me scanning the bar. “Would you like something to drink?”, she asks. She had been sipping on some red wine and I was undecided on whether I wanted wine or beer. Then she settles it for me when she holds her glass out to me, “This wine is very good would you like to try it?”
Daunt: Honestly I was a bit surprised when she offered to let me drink from her glass, maybe I shouldn’t have been; but we’d only known each other in person for a few minutes. I was enjoying the conversation, smiles and blue eyes. To her it was probably no big deal, but I found the gesture endearing.
Madison: It was becoming clear to me how nervous Daunt was. I thought offering him some wine may help him relax -- I was actually growing concerned he may not be able to relax at all. Typically I'm attracted to strong and somewhat aggressive men. I made a decision to just be myself, I thought if I do that and give him a little time he will surely settle down; if he didn't no harm, maybe we just weren't a match. Soon I found conversation getting easier and was really enjoying it. We were starting to connect and suddenly it seemed we had a million things to talk about. A man with intelligence that can carry a conversation and has manners. I thought, this can't be real, but I was finding it very attractive.
To anyone observing it would be clear we were enjoying each other’s company. Soon we were seated close, very close. Madison reaches out and begins rubbing my thigh.
Daunt: When she touched me it was like electricity flowed out of her fingertips. My heart was pounding and I felt like a little boy. My body was wanting to charge ahead, but my mind, with its ingrained hardwired “treat women right” mentality won out; don’t misinterpret Daunt, you want to be sure. So did I acknowledge or respond to her touch? Nope.
Madison: Being affectionate is second nature to me. When I reached out and touched Daunt I began to question whether he was attracted to me. There was no reaction from him. I found this confusing, I am used to men responding much differently to this type of affection. I chalked it up to nerves and again wondered if he ever relax. Suddenly I found the situation funny. I laughed without realizing it, then he was asking me why I was laughing. I didn’t want to embarrass him so I ducked the question and asked if I could get another glass of wine.
Finally after a very long time I reached out pulled her close and said, “Come here”. I leaned in for a light sweet kiss, which she accepted with a smile.
Daunt: I know I waited way too long to go for that kiss...
Madison: God, what in the world took him so long to do that? Also I worried a little because the kiss didn’t feel like I expected it to; I didn’t feel passion or desire. I was thinking, Damn, how long can the man stay nervous? I decided that if he can’t relax in the next 30 minutes, then this not going any further than tonight; just a few drinks and dinner -- or maybe just the drinks. I like guys that take charge. I understand being nervous, but I was beginning to feel it wasn’t going to change.
The night comes to a close and it’s time to go. The weather was awful with heavy wind and rain. We walk out of the restaurant hand in hand and I steal a hug and a few more light kisses. She had used the valet to park her car, Madison offered to drive me to mine.
The valet arrives and I climb into the passenger seat. Upon reaching my car I leaned in for a good night kiss. The kiss became passionate, deep. My hand slid gently behind her neck and pulled her in close.
Daunt: I loved that kiss. It lingered in my mind for a long time after. I was pretty charged up by it.
Madison: Oh... that kiss surprised me I became lost in it. I could feel his desire and it was exactly the kind of kiss I was wanting and waiting for. I struggled to keep myself in check and not lose control. I was feeling swept up and was thankful there wasn’t a bed around. I’m not easy. I don’t just hop into bed with any guy, but suddenly I was full of desire. I was shocked at the thoughts I was suddenly having. I wanted him to caress my breasts. I wondered if I had on a skirt where his hands may have explored. That kiss left me trembling, warm and breathless; and oh yes a bit moist.
At this point I had finally relaxed and didn’t want Madison to leave. But we had had no plans setup for anything but a first meeting, so gave her another quick kiss and got out of the car.
I was definitely looking forward to seeing her again.
__________
So there you have it folks DauntlessD’s first meeting with Madison. Smooth wasn’t I?
TMI Tuesday 10/25/11 with DauntlessD
1. Name 5 things you did more of before social networking (facebook, myspace, twitter, etc.)?
Wow, this one is tough. I'm in my early 40s, but computers and networking have been a part of my life since the 80s. I was doing social networking before they called it "social networking"; I even ran my own BBS for a time.
Ok, 5 things: 1, Reading novels. 2, Keeping up on the news. 3, Using the telephone for talking (wow, what a concept huh?) 4, gahh... I can't think of anymore!
2. Your house is on fire, what do you grab as you run out?
My family, my laptop and the classic, family photos that can't be replaced.
3. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I used to be very much a night owl, but as I've gotten older I find I'm much sharper and on my game in the early morning. So now I'm in the middle, I'm almost a night owl with morning person tendencies.
a. What time did you go to bed last night? 10:30pm
b. What time did you wake up today? 6am.
4. A kid comes up to you and kicks you in the shin, what do you do?
Well if no one else was around it might be fun to teach the little runt a lesson. Maybe I'd erupt with an enormous roar and chase him around waving my arms like a crazy man. Then again if their parent is near maybe I'd just give them a scowl...
5. What three things do you never leave the house without?
Wallet, keys, phone. *yawn*
Bonus: Name a place that you visited last week that you’ve never visited before. Briefly tell us about the visit.
Madison and I visited a winery called dkcellers. I had visited many of the wineries in the area before but had never tasted at this one. I was quite a find! The wine was excellent and reasonably priced.
Thanks again to the TMI Tuesday Blog for the questions!
Wow, this one is tough. I'm in my early 40s, but computers and networking have been a part of my life since the 80s. I was doing social networking before they called it "social networking"; I even ran my own BBS for a time.
Ok, 5 things: 1, Reading novels. 2, Keeping up on the news. 3, Using the telephone for talking (wow, what a concept huh?) 4, gahh... I can't think of anymore!
2. Your house is on fire, what do you grab as you run out?
My family, my laptop and the classic, family photos that can't be replaced.
3. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
I used to be very much a night owl, but as I've gotten older I find I'm much sharper and on my game in the early morning. So now I'm in the middle, I'm almost a night owl with morning person tendencies.
a. What time did you go to bed last night? 10:30pm
b. What time did you wake up today? 6am.
4. A kid comes up to you and kicks you in the shin, what do you do?
Well if no one else was around it might be fun to teach the little runt a lesson. Maybe I'd erupt with an enormous roar and chase him around waving my arms like a crazy man. Then again if their parent is near maybe I'd just give them a scowl...
5. What three things do you never leave the house without?
Wallet, keys, phone. *yawn*
Bonus: Name a place that you visited last week that you’ve never visited before. Briefly tell us about the visit.
Madison and I visited a winery called dkcellers. I had visited many of the wineries in the area before but had never tasted at this one. I was quite a find! The wine was excellent and reasonably priced.
Thanks again to the TMI Tuesday Blog for the questions!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Where's Dat Pesky Wabbit?
I know I haven't updated you yet on how my negotiations are going with Hubby. Don't worry. I will bring you up to speed soon. In the meantime, I wanted to share about my new toy.
In Hubby's effort to spice up our sex life and keep me from prowling (I told him that I would not cheat if he could meet my needs. If not, I'll go to someone who will -- ok, I was nicer than that, but that was the point I made), he surprised me yesterday with a new toy. I came home from a long day on the road for work, and this little goodie was waiting for me under my pillow.
It's a cute rabbit, isn't it? The first thing I did was try to turn it on, but it didn't work. That's when I realized that it didn't have any batteries.
Hubby: Don't worry, I have batteries.
He handed me a pack of AAA batteries. I opened the pack and started trying to insert them (in the vibrator, not in me). They were too small.
Kat: Honey, these batteries are not the right size. It looks like we need AA.
Hubby: But it says right on the package (grabbing and starting to read) "Takes three AA batteries." Damn.
Kat: Uh huh. Do we have any AAs?
It was 10:30 at night. If we didn't have any, I was sure the little rabbit wouldn't be shuddering with joy tonight.
Hubby: (reaching for his jeans) If we don't, I'll go to the store right now!
I smiled. My. my, my. That's a level of enthusiasm I haven't seen for a long time.
Fortunately, because we have kids and all of the toys and gadgets that go along with kids, we have a huge stash of batteries of all sizes. We learned about that the year my oldest couldn't play with his new Hot Wheels track because it took two different sizes of batteries (whose brilliant idea was that?) and we only had one.
Anyway, I inserted the batteries and took a close look at the little guy. Soft, but firm. It has a gel-like shaft with some pearls that rotate at the base. There are two power controls - one for the rotation of the shaft (it kind of wiggles slowly in a small circular motion while the pearls go round and round) and another for the vibration of the bunny. The adjustable speed for the vibrating rabbit didn't have much variation between low and high, but those cute little ears did hit just the right spot, so I forgave the manufacturer for the error.
On the backside of the shaft up by the head, there is a little tiny happy face. It's all in the details, isn't it? Who was that little happy face for, I wondered? I pointed it out to Hubby and he laughed. He wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't pointed it out. He never was into details.
After we went through our nightly routine of making sure the kids were asleep, he closed and locked our door and slipped back into bed with me. I poured some lube in his hand (only the good stuff would do for this occasion) and he slid his hand down between my legs, finding my clit quickly, and circling it slowly as the lube dripped from his hand.
He kissed me deeply as he fingered me, which is really new for him. Hubby is not a kisser, but since the news about my extramarital dalliances, he has become quite the kisser. I told you he was trying.
I reached for some lube, squeezed some into my hand, and reached for his cock. He was hard already. This is new, too. It seems that the knowledge that other men are interested in his wife has made him more interested, too.
I stroked him slowly, starting off gently and then tightening my grip. He moaned into our kiss.
I was so focused on our kiss and his cock that I barely noticed that he had withdrawn his hand and was sliding the new toy inside me. He turned on both the undulation and the vibration, and I reached down with my free hand to properly position those little bunny ears. My clit was already hard and sensitive from his touch, and a **ZING** of pleasure shot through me as soon as those little ears hit the right spot. I squealed. He smiled and turned the vibration down, but it didn't change much.
He held the toy in place and sucked on my nipples - first one, then the other - and I continued to stroke him, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensual experience. It was the first time in a long time that I was in bed with my husband and I wasn't thinking about being somewhere else with someone else. I was completely present in the moment.
It didn't take me long to cum. I stroked him harder as I started shaking and moaning. His mouth moved from my nipple to my my mouth, so he could kiss me as I screamed. It occurred to me that not only was this erotic, but it also muffled the sound so I wouldn't wake the kids. He's a smart one.
After I was done, he pulled out the vibe, turned it off, got up on his knees, and said, "My turn," with a mischievous grin on his face. I rolled over and got on my knees, then leaned forward onto my forearms, lifting my backside for him. He grabbed my hips and slid his now rock hard cock all the way in with one slow, deep stroke. We both moaned as he held it there for about 15 seconds. We started moving slowly, together. I pressed back against him as he thrusted forward. Sometimes it's fast and frenzied, but this time was slow all the way through, so we both could feel every sensation, every moment of pleasure.
It didn't take me long to cum again. As I did, he pushed his cock in even deeper (although I didn't think that was possible) and held it there as I shuddered and moaned. As I was coming down, he started thrusting again - faster and harder now, taking full control of the situation. Within a few seconds, he came, pulling me back onto him and holding me there as he released into me.
We both collapsed on the bed afterwards, neither of us speaking for what seemed like a log time. Then he reached over, took my hand, and said, "Wow. Where have you been all my life?"
"Right here," I replied. "You just never noticed."
"I'm noticing you now," he whispered as he rolled toward me and started kissing me.
I took his hand and moved it down to my pussy. He exclaimed, "Again?!"
"Yes," I cooed. "We have only started...."
In Hubby's effort to spice up our sex life and keep me from prowling (I told him that I would not cheat if he could meet my needs. If not, I'll go to someone who will -- ok, I was nicer than that, but that was the point I made), he surprised me yesterday with a new toy. I came home from a long day on the road for work, and this little goodie was waiting for me under my pillow.
Hubby: Don't worry, I have batteries.
He handed me a pack of AAA batteries. I opened the pack and started trying to insert them (in the vibrator, not in me). They were too small.
Kat: Honey, these batteries are not the right size. It looks like we need AA.
Hubby: But it says right on the package (grabbing and starting to read) "Takes three AA batteries." Damn.
Kat: Uh huh. Do we have any AAs?
It was 10:30 at night. If we didn't have any, I was sure the little rabbit wouldn't be shuddering with joy tonight.
Hubby: (reaching for his jeans) If we don't, I'll go to the store right now!
I smiled. My. my, my. That's a level of enthusiasm I haven't seen for a long time.
Fortunately, because we have kids and all of the toys and gadgets that go along with kids, we have a huge stash of batteries of all sizes. We learned about that the year my oldest couldn't play with his new Hot Wheels track because it took two different sizes of batteries (whose brilliant idea was that?) and we only had one.
Anyway, I inserted the batteries and took a close look at the little guy. Soft, but firm. It has a gel-like shaft with some pearls that rotate at the base. There are two power controls - one for the rotation of the shaft (it kind of wiggles slowly in a small circular motion while the pearls go round and round) and another for the vibration of the bunny. The adjustable speed for the vibrating rabbit didn't have much variation between low and high, but those cute little ears did hit just the right spot, so I forgave the manufacturer for the error.
On the backside of the shaft up by the head, there is a little tiny happy face. It's all in the details, isn't it? Who was that little happy face for, I wondered? I pointed it out to Hubby and he laughed. He wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't pointed it out. He never was into details.
After we went through our nightly routine of making sure the kids were asleep, he closed and locked our door and slipped back into bed with me. I poured some lube in his hand (only the good stuff would do for this occasion) and he slid his hand down between my legs, finding my clit quickly, and circling it slowly as the lube dripped from his hand.
He kissed me deeply as he fingered me, which is really new for him. Hubby is not a kisser, but since the news about my extramarital dalliances, he has become quite the kisser. I told you he was trying.
I reached for some lube, squeezed some into my hand, and reached for his cock. He was hard already. This is new, too. It seems that the knowledge that other men are interested in his wife has made him more interested, too.
I stroked him slowly, starting off gently and then tightening my grip. He moaned into our kiss.
I was so focused on our kiss and his cock that I barely noticed that he had withdrawn his hand and was sliding the new toy inside me. He turned on both the undulation and the vibration, and I reached down with my free hand to properly position those little bunny ears. My clit was already hard and sensitive from his touch, and a **ZING** of pleasure shot through me as soon as those little ears hit the right spot. I squealed. He smiled and turned the vibration down, but it didn't change much.
He held the toy in place and sucked on my nipples - first one, then the other - and I continued to stroke him, closing my eyes and enjoying the sensual experience. It was the first time in a long time that I was in bed with my husband and I wasn't thinking about being somewhere else with someone else. I was completely present in the moment.
It didn't take me long to cum. I stroked him harder as I started shaking and moaning. His mouth moved from my nipple to my my mouth, so he could kiss me as I screamed. It occurred to me that not only was this erotic, but it also muffled the sound so I wouldn't wake the kids. He's a smart one.
After I was done, he pulled out the vibe, turned it off, got up on his knees, and said, "My turn," with a mischievous grin on his face. I rolled over and got on my knees, then leaned forward onto my forearms, lifting my backside for him. He grabbed my hips and slid his now rock hard cock all the way in with one slow, deep stroke. We both moaned as he held it there for about 15 seconds. We started moving slowly, together. I pressed back against him as he thrusted forward. Sometimes it's fast and frenzied, but this time was slow all the way through, so we both could feel every sensation, every moment of pleasure.
It didn't take me long to cum again. As I did, he pushed his cock in even deeper (although I didn't think that was possible) and held it there as I shuddered and moaned. As I was coming down, he started thrusting again - faster and harder now, taking full control of the situation. Within a few seconds, he came, pulling me back onto him and holding me there as he released into me.
We both collapsed on the bed afterwards, neither of us speaking for what seemed like a log time. Then he reached over, took my hand, and said, "Wow. Where have you been all my life?"
"Right here," I replied. "You just never noticed."
"I'm noticing you now," he whispered as he rolled toward me and started kissing me.
I took his hand and moved it down to my pussy. He exclaimed, "Again?!"
"Yes," I cooed. "We have only started...."
Thursday, October 20, 2011
HNT - What's Missing?
Something is missing from this slightly older picture of Cara that you see in her most recent photos. Can you tell what it is?
Monday, October 17, 2011
100,000 Pageviews!...and some other thoughts
We hit 100,000 pageviews today! That's 100,000 pageviews in nine and half months, and it's all about you, Prowlers. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the best! In gratitude, DauntlessD, Cara and I will continue to share advice, naughty stories, and photos of our journey.
I only have a few minutes today, but I had a few other thoughts I wanted to share with you:
Kat
I only have a few minutes today, but I had a few other thoughts I wanted to share with you:
- I will write more very soon about my negotiations with Hubby, but right now I can tell you that we talked all weekend...and talked, and talked, and talked. I think we probably talked more than in any other 48 hour period of our long relationship. Yes, that's a very good thing. Nothing has been resolved yet, but all the cards are on the table. I am hopeful that we'll figure something out that works for both of us and keeps our marriage and family together.
- You should be hearing more from Dauntless soon. He has been out of town, but he's back now, and I know he has some good stories to share. Keep checking back.
- I was perusing my favorite blogs this afternoon and there are a few you should definitely check out:
- Into the Woods by Ms. Inconspicuous - Beautiful and fun post. A must-read.
- Working (it) at the Library by Left Turn at Albuquerque - Classic Left Turn post. And it's the beginning of a series. It's always fun to read a series from the beginning, don't you think?
- It's Not as Though I Really Need You by Ryan Beaumont - This post is the latest installment in a series of posts written from the perspective of the author's wife. Interesting approach. Take a look.
- If you're looking for popular PWK posts, take a look at the sidebar on the right. You'll see the most popular posts of the past 30 days.
Kat
Friday, October 14, 2011
'Fessing Up
I just did something that I thought I would never do.
I just confessed my infidelities to my husband.
Well, some of them.
Here's what happened. He was digging through some records and he was about to discover one of the affairs. Seriously, he was probably only an hour or two away from knowing, so I had a choice - Keep lying and make up another excuse or just tell him the truth.
He has been suspicious for a while. Once he found the hotel payment records for a local hotel, he'd know. I could have tried to lie and make up an explanation, but my husband is not that stupid. I am only attracted to smart men, remember? It would have been just too demeaning and insulting to him to make up another lame excuse that he knew was a lie. And, frankly, I have grown pretty tired of lying to the man I have loved for almost 25 years.
So I told him.
At first, he didn't say anything. He just stared at me. He asked a question or two. I answered them honestly. He asked if I was still seeing him. I replied, "One of them."
Hubby: There's more than one???
Kat: Yes.
Hubby: Does that one know you are telling me?
Kat: No, not yet.
Hubby: So he doesn't know you're breaking it off with him yet?
Kat: No, but I didn't say I was breaking it off with him. You and I haven't gotten that far yet.
Hubby: So, you're still planning to see him again.
Kat: That depends.
Hubby: On what?
Kat: You.
And that's where the negotiations began. What do I want from our marriage? What does he want? Could our marriage survive an open marriage relationship?
Surprisingly, he didn't ask any of the questions I was expecting, like how did we meet, how long has it been going on, etc. I think he was in shock. I expect that some of those will come as he processes things a bit more.
The conversation between us is not over yet, but we did agree on a few things - We love each other, we love our family, and we will not be splitting up over this or anything else.
The question is.... Can I give up prowling? Will I?
What do you think?
I just confessed my infidelities to my husband.
Well, some of them.
Here's what happened. He was digging through some records and he was about to discover one of the affairs. Seriously, he was probably only an hour or two away from knowing, so I had a choice - Keep lying and make up another excuse or just tell him the truth.
He has been suspicious for a while. Once he found the hotel payment records for a local hotel, he'd know. I could have tried to lie and make up an explanation, but my husband is not that stupid. I am only attracted to smart men, remember? It would have been just too demeaning and insulting to him to make up another lame excuse that he knew was a lie. And, frankly, I have grown pretty tired of lying to the man I have loved for almost 25 years.
So I told him.
At first, he didn't say anything. He just stared at me. He asked a question or two. I answered them honestly. He asked if I was still seeing him. I replied, "One of them."
Hubby: There's more than one???
Kat: Yes.
Hubby: Does that one know you are telling me?
Kat: No, not yet.
Hubby: So he doesn't know you're breaking it off with him yet?
Kat: No, but I didn't say I was breaking it off with him. You and I haven't gotten that far yet.
Hubby: So, you're still planning to see him again.
Kat: That depends.
Hubby: On what?
Kat: You.
And that's where the negotiations began. What do I want from our marriage? What does he want? Could our marriage survive an open marriage relationship?
Surprisingly, he didn't ask any of the questions I was expecting, like how did we meet, how long has it been going on, etc. I think he was in shock. I expect that some of those will come as he processes things a bit more.
The conversation between us is not over yet, but we did agree on a few things - We love each other, we love our family, and we will not be splitting up over this or anything else.
The question is.... Can I give up prowling? Will I?
What do you think?
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Guest Post: In Praise of a Fast-Thinking Mistress
SomewhereMan had an interesting experience recently, and we are fortunate that he decided to write about it for us. It's amazing how truth is better than fiction, isn't it? Enjoy!
*************************
It's 3 p.m. last week and my workday is about to take a serious jolt.
Here is the texting log.
Mistress: Hi! What r u up to? I have to head to the hockey game tonight. A function that I signed up as part of the group I'm with.
Me: You at a table or in the suites?
Mistress: A suite, I believe.
Uh-oh. This isn't good. My wife will also be at the game. In one of the suites. We don't live in a gigantic city so our hockey arena only has four suites.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
And there's nothing I can really do. Will today be the day of the Wife-Mistress face-to-face meeting. I imagine Addison looking at Meredith Grey at the airport, saying, "so you're the slut who is screwing my husband." I imagine Stalin-Churchill-Roosevelt at Yalta. I imagine bad, bad things happening.
I'm stuck at work. Wondering if today will be the big blowup.
I look around the office. This is going to be an awful day.
Back to the text log.
Me: And which event are you going to?
She writes back that it WILL be the exact same event that my wife has to attend. That means about 30 people will be in this 15 x 25 room.
Here is the backstory: the mistress and I had been "fully intimate" for two months by this point. Best sex of my life...without question. Even to the point where we are both considering leaving our marriages to start a life together.
And it may entirely backfire at a stinkin' hockey game.
The angle here is that wife once found a pic of mistress on one of my email accounts. She knows what mistress looks like. It wasn't a racy pic but one that I forgot to delete. (I know, I know...)
Me: Well, I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm not going to say 'don't go to this'. That's not my place. Any thoughts on this?
Mistress: I HAVE to go. I signed up for it.
Mistress (five minutes later): I have an idea. Will tell you about it later.
Now I'm sweating, flowing with stress, two hours later. Then I get an email.
From the mistress.
I click on the attachment.
My platinum-blonde girlfriend walks out of her salon... with chestnut brown hair and glasses.
Mistress: Sorry I'm not blonde anymore.
Me: Holy smokes. How much did that run you?
Mistress: $75
Me: I'll gladly pay that.
Mistress and wife spent an hour in the same room, within a few feet of each other. Mistress didn't need to offer her "fake name" to wife since mistress tried to avoid eye contact.
Gotta say...I was impressed with the Mistress's quick thinking.
Author's Note: Mistress dumped my prowlin' ass this morning. Maybe I should've paid her more... :)
*************************
It's 3 p.m. last week and my workday is about to take a serious jolt.
Here is the texting log.
Mistress: Hi! What r u up to? I have to head to the hockey game tonight. A function that I signed up as part of the group I'm with.
Me: You at a table or in the suites?
Mistress: A suite, I believe.
Uh-oh. This isn't good. My wife will also be at the game. In one of the suites. We don't live in a gigantic city so our hockey arena only has four suites.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
And there's nothing I can really do. Will today be the day of the Wife-Mistress face-to-face meeting. I imagine Addison looking at Meredith Grey at the airport, saying, "so you're the slut who is screwing my husband." I imagine Stalin-Churchill-Roosevelt at Yalta. I imagine bad, bad things happening.
I'm stuck at work. Wondering if today will be the big blowup.
I look around the office. This is going to be an awful day.
Back to the text log.
Me: And which event are you going to?
She writes back that it WILL be the exact same event that my wife has to attend. That means about 30 people will be in this 15 x 25 room.
Here is the backstory: the mistress and I had been "fully intimate" for two months by this point. Best sex of my life...without question. Even to the point where we are both considering leaving our marriages to start a life together.
And it may entirely backfire at a stinkin' hockey game.
The angle here is that wife once found a pic of mistress on one of my email accounts. She knows what mistress looks like. It wasn't a racy pic but one that I forgot to delete. (I know, I know...)
Me: Well, I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm not going to say 'don't go to this'. That's not my place. Any thoughts on this?
Mistress: I HAVE to go. I signed up for it.
Mistress (five minutes later): I have an idea. Will tell you about it later.
Now I'm sweating, flowing with stress, two hours later. Then I get an email.
From the mistress.
I click on the attachment.
My platinum-blonde girlfriend walks out of her salon... with chestnut brown hair and glasses.
Mistress: Sorry I'm not blonde anymore.
Me: Holy smokes. How much did that run you?
Mistress: $75
Me: I'll gladly pay that.
Mistress and wife spent an hour in the same room, within a few feet of each other. Mistress didn't need to offer her "fake name" to wife since mistress tried to avoid eye contact.
Gotta say...I was impressed with the Mistress's quick thinking.
Author's Note: Mistress dumped my prowlin' ass this morning. Maybe I should've paid her more... :)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Popcorn Anyone?
I was watching a TV show this weekend with my husband and oldest son (a young adult). The storyline was about a man who was having an affair and the young woman with whom he was having the affair.
Let me say right now that I avoid watching TV shows about infidelity because of the danger of the conversation turning toward a discussion of how awful it is and how wonderful it is for Hubby to know that I would never cheat on him, etc. This time, my husband was engaging my son in a discussion about infidelity, which I found particularly interesting since he recently admitted that he'd been cheating with several woman for over 5 years.
But I digress.....
In this storyline, the man wanted to break it off, but the young woman became enraged and started threatening to tell his wife. The man was beginning to panic. She walked out of his office and into the street, still yelling at him and telling him exactly what she was going to report to his wife when....
She was hit by a bus. She was killed instantly and left a bloody mess all over the bus and the street.
We were all shocked into silence for a moment. Then we laughed and cheered.
(No, I do not normally cheer when people are flattened by buses, but this was a special occasion. We really liked the man in this show and we really did not like that young woman.)
Then this conversation ensued:
Hubby: See, son? That woman could have ruined that man's life. That is why you should remain faithful to your wife when you are married.
Son: Actually, it looks like it turned out great for him. He got some young pussy, and then she got hit by a bus so she couldn't tell his wife. He's a happy guy now.
Hubby: (speaking while I cringe at hearing my sweet baby boy use the word "pussy") Yeah, but he just got lucky. That's a one in a million thing. The real lesson here is that you shouldn't cheat.
Kat: I think the real lesson is that he shouldn't have cheated with a single woman. She had all the leverage and all the power in the relationship, which put him in a very risky and tenuous position. If he had cheated with a married woman, that never would have happened. She wouldn't threaten to tell his wife because then he could tell her husband. Not telling the spouses is a mutual agreement. It's like mutually assured destruction. They both have something to lose. So, it's much safer with a married person, and.....
I stopped talking when I realized they were both staring at me. My son was looking at me like I was the biggest idiot ever, and Hubby was white as a ghost and he had a stunned expression on is face. I needed to recover quickly.....
Kat: But your father is right, Son. It's much better not to cheat at all. Popcorn anyone?
And then I jumped up and glided swiftly into the kitchen to make some popcorn. When it was finished, my son came into the kitchen to help me with the bowls. He stepped next to me and leaned over, lowered his voice, and said, "Smooth, Mom."
I sighed as we walked back into the living room. This is why I don't like watching TV.
Let me say right now that I avoid watching TV shows about infidelity because of the danger of the conversation turning toward a discussion of how awful it is and how wonderful it is for Hubby to know that I would never cheat on him, etc. This time, my husband was engaging my son in a discussion about infidelity, which I found particularly interesting since he recently admitted that he'd been cheating with several woman for over 5 years.
But I digress.....
In this storyline, the man wanted to break it off, but the young woman became enraged and started threatening to tell his wife. The man was beginning to panic. She walked out of his office and into the street, still yelling at him and telling him exactly what she was going to report to his wife when....
She was hit by a bus. She was killed instantly and left a bloody mess all over the bus and the street.
We were all shocked into silence for a moment. Then we laughed and cheered.
(No, I do not normally cheer when people are flattened by buses, but this was a special occasion. We really liked the man in this show and we really did not like that young woman.)
Then this conversation ensued:
Hubby: See, son? That woman could have ruined that man's life. That is why you should remain faithful to your wife when you are married.
Son: Actually, it looks like it turned out great for him. He got some young pussy, and then she got hit by a bus so she couldn't tell his wife. He's a happy guy now.
Hubby: (speaking while I cringe at hearing my sweet baby boy use the word "pussy") Yeah, but he just got lucky. That's a one in a million thing. The real lesson here is that you shouldn't cheat.
Kat: I think the real lesson is that he shouldn't have cheated with a single woman. She had all the leverage and all the power in the relationship, which put him in a very risky and tenuous position. If he had cheated with a married woman, that never would have happened. She wouldn't threaten to tell his wife because then he could tell her husband. Not telling the spouses is a mutual agreement. It's like mutually assured destruction. They both have something to lose. So, it's much safer with a married person, and.....
I stopped talking when I realized they were both staring at me. My son was looking at me like I was the biggest idiot ever, and Hubby was white as a ghost and he had a stunned expression on is face. I needed to recover quickly.....
Kat: But your father is right, Son. It's much better not to cheat at all. Popcorn anyone?
And then I jumped up and glided swiftly into the kitchen to make some popcorn. When it was finished, my son came into the kitchen to help me with the bowls. He stepped next to me and leaned over, lowered his voice, and said, "Smooth, Mom."
I sighed as we walked back into the living room. This is why I don't like watching TV.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Cheaters Getting Caught
I've heard many stories from people about how they were caught by their spouses while prowling. In almost all of these cases, the prowler thought that the spouse had absolutely no idea what was going on and was very surprised to be caught.
Never forget- You must assume that your spouse is smarter than you think s/he is. If you don't, you will undoubtedly end up in trouble.
Here are a few real life stories I've heard of ways people have been caught cheating. Some of these are men I've known personally. Others are people I've known, either online or in person, who shared what happened to them.
GPS Tracking - One woman told me that she was caught by her husband when he became suspicious and decided to track her via GPS. I don't know if he installed a tracking device in her car or if he simply tracked her via her smart phone, but he tracked her to a hotel where he confronted her.
Phone bill - One man told me that his wife, who never had paid any attention to the cell phone bill before, looked over the cell phone bill and saw hundreds of texts and calls to and from the same number. Curious, she called the number and a woman answered. Later, she checked her husband's cell phone, and that number was associated with a woman's name. That's when she confronted him.
Call log and texts- Another man told me that his wife looked at the call log on his phone and saw a bunch of calls, incoming and outgoing, associated with a woman's name. While she was looking through his phone, an explicitly naughty text from that woman came through.
Spouse following him - One man recounted how his wife saw him leave work and she followed him, thinking he was going to participate in a recreational activity they enjoyed. When he went to a hotel instead, she confronted him.
Blackmail attempt - One man (if you've been reading this blog for a while, you know who this is) was blackmailed by one of his fuck buddies who said she would tell his wife everything unless he gave her a certain amount of money. Instead of giving in to the threats, he chose to tell his wife instead so she would hear it from him and not the other woman.
Bodily fluids and scent on clothes in the laundry - One man's wife confronted him while she was doing the laundry after she found some of his clothes that smelled like sex. As she went through the clothes more carefully, she saw some stained with bodily fluids, too.
Reported by a friend - One woman was enjoying lunch with her lover at a popular restaurant about 20 miles from where she lived. She felt it was safe because it wasn't in her home town, so she and her lover were being particularly demonstrative - holding hands, kissing, etc. What she didn't know was that one of her husband's friends was in the restaurant, too. He recognized her and witnessed everything. Then he called her husband. Her husband confronted her as soon as she got home.
Email - One man accidentally forgot to close and sign out of his email account when he left the house. His wife went to use the computer and saw a long list of emails from his lover on the screen. She read them all. Then she looked at the sent messages and she read all of those. She called him and confronted him over the phone while he was at work.
To the best of my knowledge, all but one of these couples (husband and wife) are still together, but only two of the caught prowlers kept their lovers.
When you add these to all of the stories you've been told and all the things you've read about and seen on TV, you should get the message that it's pretty easy to get caught. Some of these folks were just careless, but others had spouses who were not as stupid as their prowling spouses thought they were.
Have you ever been caught? What happened? Have you ever known someone who was caught? Please share with us in the comments.
******************************
For some advice to help you avoid being caught, visit our Advice for Prowlers page.
Never forget- You must assume that your spouse is smarter than you think s/he is. If you don't, you will undoubtedly end up in trouble.
Here are a few real life stories I've heard of ways people have been caught cheating. Some of these are men I've known personally. Others are people I've known, either online or in person, who shared what happened to them.
GPS Tracking - One woman told me that she was caught by her husband when he became suspicious and decided to track her via GPS. I don't know if he installed a tracking device in her car or if he simply tracked her via her smart phone, but he tracked her to a hotel where he confronted her.
Phone bill - One man told me that his wife, who never had paid any attention to the cell phone bill before, looked over the cell phone bill and saw hundreds of texts and calls to and from the same number. Curious, she called the number and a woman answered. Later, she checked her husband's cell phone, and that number was associated with a woman's name. That's when she confronted him.
Call log and texts- Another man told me that his wife looked at the call log on his phone and saw a bunch of calls, incoming and outgoing, associated with a woman's name. While she was looking through his phone, an explicitly naughty text from that woman came through.
Spouse following him - One man recounted how his wife saw him leave work and she followed him, thinking he was going to participate in a recreational activity they enjoyed. When he went to a hotel instead, she confronted him.
Blackmail attempt - One man (if you've been reading this blog for a while, you know who this is) was blackmailed by one of his fuck buddies who said she would tell his wife everything unless he gave her a certain amount of money. Instead of giving in to the threats, he chose to tell his wife instead so she would hear it from him and not the other woman.
Bodily fluids and scent on clothes in the laundry - One man's wife confronted him while she was doing the laundry after she found some of his clothes that smelled like sex. As she went through the clothes more carefully, she saw some stained with bodily fluids, too.
Reported by a friend - One woman was enjoying lunch with her lover at a popular restaurant about 20 miles from where she lived. She felt it was safe because it wasn't in her home town, so she and her lover were being particularly demonstrative - holding hands, kissing, etc. What she didn't know was that one of her husband's friends was in the restaurant, too. He recognized her and witnessed everything. Then he called her husband. Her husband confronted her as soon as she got home.
Email - One man accidentally forgot to close and sign out of his email account when he left the house. His wife went to use the computer and saw a long list of emails from his lover on the screen. She read them all. Then she looked at the sent messages and she read all of those. She called him and confronted him over the phone while he was at work.
To the best of my knowledge, all but one of these couples (husband and wife) are still together, but only two of the caught prowlers kept their lovers.
When you add these to all of the stories you've been told and all the things you've read about and seen on TV, you should get the message that it's pretty easy to get caught. Some of these folks were just careless, but others had spouses who were not as stupid as their prowling spouses thought they were.
Have you ever been caught? What happened? Have you ever known someone who was caught? Please share with us in the comments.
******************************
For some advice to help you avoid being caught, visit our Advice for Prowlers page.
Friday, October 7, 2011
For a Few Hours
For a few hours the world will be shut out, pushed beyond the locked door, and there will only be me, him, this place, this moment.
For a few hours, there will be no worries or stress - no bills, no deadlines, no errands, no demands.
For a few hours, I will be so enveloped in his arms and his passion that I'll be able to release my fears and my inhibitions.
For a few hours, I'll be able to completely let go of expectations and responsibilities.
For a few hours, I will be the woman that most of the world never sees - passionate, ravenous, submissive, obedient, sexual, voracious.
For a few hours, my only thoughts will be about pleasure - his and mine, giving and receiving.
For a few hours, I'll belong only to him without any thoughts of hiding or right or wrong.
For a few hours, I'll feel perfectly safe and loved and desired and needed.
I'll be his.
For a few hours.
For a few hours, there will be no worries or stress - no bills, no deadlines, no errands, no demands.
For a few hours, I will be so enveloped in his arms and his passion that I'll be able to release my fears and my inhibitions.
For a few hours, I'll be able to completely let go of expectations and responsibilities.
For a few hours, I will be the woman that most of the world never sees - passionate, ravenous, submissive, obedient, sexual, voracious.
For a few hours, my only thoughts will be about pleasure - his and mine, giving and receiving.
For a few hours, I'll belong only to him without any thoughts of hiding or right or wrong.
For a few hours, I'll feel perfectly safe and loved and desired and needed.
I'll be his.
For a few hours.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
HNT 2 - Getting More Comfortable
I promised you another surprise HNT treat, and here it is. I like it when our sweet Cara gets comfortable, don't you?
HNT - Perfection
Cara's HNT for this week looks like perfection to me.
Check back this afternoon for another HNT treat.
Check back this afternoon for another HNT treat.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Too Old? Too Young?
I got an email recently from a reader that said, "I was hoping my age wouldn't scare you away. I know you like them older." He's 30.
That got me thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of men of different age groups. My young reader was right when he said that I like older men. In fact, until fairly recently, I was pretty much only interested in older men. But then some younger guys got my attention and I've had to re-evaluate my preferences.
People change. I was 20 when I first developed my preference for "older men," which I considered to be 40-60 at that time. I'm in my late (ahem) 40's now and, let's just face it, there aren't as many eligible and desirable men who are older than me now, certainly not as many as there were 25 years ago. As I have broadened my preference range, I've noticed there are some really desirable features in all age groups.
For ease of discussion, I'll divide men into three groups: younger (18-39), older (50-65), and contemporaries (40-49).
The younger guys have some obvious advantages - enthusiasm, energy, stamina, willingness to experiment. Many also have hard, young men's bodies, which is very nice, of course. Young men don't have a corner on these characteristics, though. The men I've been with who had the most stamina were 50 and 63 years old. The biggest disadvantage of younger men is that most really don't know how to please a woman yet, but they think they know. Those who do know something about giving a woman pleasure only have one or two tricks in their little toolboxes.
Older men also have some great advantages. The most notable advantage is that most know their way around a woman's body. There is just no substitute for this. All the energy in the world can't beat a man who knows exactly how to make me scream with pleasure. Older men are also usually settled in their careers and they have great advice to give. I'm not kidding. I've received some of the best business and accounting advice from older men while resting in bed between "sessions."
I think the trick with older men is to find the ones who are not "old" yet. And if you are a man between 50 and 65, you need to do what you need to do to keep from getting prematurely "old." The two men I referred to above with the great stamina are definitely not old. One is still a competing triathlete at the age of 63 (wow!) and the other used to be a competitive speed boat racer. He doesn't race anymore, but he has stayed very active in that world.
The biggest surprise for me has been getting to know my contemporaries. These men who are in their 40's now are the ones I was supposed to have been dating 25 years ago, but I gave then no attention at all because I thought they were too young for me. They are between the younger and the older and they seem to have the advantages of both without most of the disadvantages of either group. The thing that really surprised me is that I have a lot in common with this age group (I know, it's a no brainer, but I just figured it out). We understand the same cultural references and are familiar with the same music.
Those with whom I have developed long term, close relationships (DauntlessD, Webcam Guy, JJ) are in this group.
Now that I've said all that, I'll confuse you further with my belief that chronological age doesn't matter if you're looking for a long term relationship of any kind with someone. If you just want a quick roll in the hay, go with your preference, but for a longer term relationship, it's not about age. It's about enthusiasm, caring, selflessness,character, sense of humor, and a bunch of other characteristics that have nothing to do with age.
My mom used to tell me and my siblings, "You won't be able to attract the kind of man/woman you want until you become the kind of man/woman that he/she would want."
If there's something you need to do to better yourself, do it. Get off the couch. Learn something. Meet people. Engage with life.
Then you'll be interesting, regardless of your age.
**************************
Read Advice for Prowlers to learn a few things about successful prowling.
That got me thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of men of different age groups. My young reader was right when he said that I like older men. In fact, until fairly recently, I was pretty much only interested in older men. But then some younger guys got my attention and I've had to re-evaluate my preferences.
People change. I was 20 when I first developed my preference for "older men," which I considered to be 40-60 at that time. I'm in my late (ahem) 40's now and, let's just face it, there aren't as many eligible and desirable men who are older than me now, certainly not as many as there were 25 years ago. As I have broadened my preference range, I've noticed there are some really desirable features in all age groups.
For ease of discussion, I'll divide men into three groups: younger (18-39), older (50-65), and contemporaries (40-49).
The younger guys have some obvious advantages - enthusiasm, energy, stamina, willingness to experiment. Many also have hard, young men's bodies, which is very nice, of course. Young men don't have a corner on these characteristics, though. The men I've been with who had the most stamina were 50 and 63 years old. The biggest disadvantage of younger men is that most really don't know how to please a woman yet, but they think they know. Those who do know something about giving a woman pleasure only have one or two tricks in their little toolboxes.
Older men also have some great advantages. The most notable advantage is that most know their way around a woman's body. There is just no substitute for this. All the energy in the world can't beat a man who knows exactly how to make me scream with pleasure. Older men are also usually settled in their careers and they have great advice to give. I'm not kidding. I've received some of the best business and accounting advice from older men while resting in bed between "sessions."
I think the trick with older men is to find the ones who are not "old" yet. And if you are a man between 50 and 65, you need to do what you need to do to keep from getting prematurely "old." The two men I referred to above with the great stamina are definitely not old. One is still a competing triathlete at the age of 63 (wow!) and the other used to be a competitive speed boat racer. He doesn't race anymore, but he has stayed very active in that world.
The biggest surprise for me has been getting to know my contemporaries. These men who are in their 40's now are the ones I was supposed to have been dating 25 years ago, but I gave then no attention at all because I thought they were too young for me. They are between the younger and the older and they seem to have the advantages of both without most of the disadvantages of either group. The thing that really surprised me is that I have a lot in common with this age group (I know, it's a no brainer, but I just figured it out). We understand the same cultural references and are familiar with the same music.
Those with whom I have developed long term, close relationships (DauntlessD, Webcam Guy, JJ) are in this group.
Now that I've said all that, I'll confuse you further with my belief that chronological age doesn't matter if you're looking for a long term relationship of any kind with someone. If you just want a quick roll in the hay, go with your preference, but for a longer term relationship, it's not about age. It's about enthusiasm, caring, selflessness,character, sense of humor, and a bunch of other characteristics that have nothing to do with age.
My mom used to tell me and my siblings, "You won't be able to attract the kind of man/woman you want until you become the kind of man/woman that he/she would want."
If there's something you need to do to better yourself, do it. Get off the couch. Learn something. Meet people. Engage with life.
Then you'll be interesting, regardless of your age.
**************************
Read Advice for Prowlers to learn a few things about successful prowling.
Honesty and Marriage
Generally speaking, I have been a proponent of being honest with your spouse about just about everything. I say "generally speaking" because most of you know that I have not shared my prowling activities with my husband, and I'm not going to.
Why not? I haven't held back because I'm afraid he'd leave me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't. I haven't told him because I know it would hurt him, and that's something I never want to do.
I know some of my pro-fidelity readers/stalkers are thinking, "Well, Kat, if you weren't prowling, then you wouldn't have to hurt him or lie to him." Yes, yes, that's true, but then I would be miserable and frustrated.
But I'm not trying to defend prowling here. I'm talking about the layers of honesty in a marriage.
I decided a while ago to tell Hubby about my friendship with DauntlessD. I was really tired of keeping it a secret when there really was no reason that Hubby couldn't know. After I told him, I felt a great sense of relief. I didn't have to lie about it anymore, and it just felt wrong keeping such an important relationship in my life a secret from my husband.
Well, the relief I felt in the beginning has been replaced with regret. My husband has become very jealous of my relationship with Daunt, even though it's not a sexual relationship. We're working through it and I'm sure we'll find a way to make it work, but it made me think about honesty in a marriage.
Lots of couples tell each other little lies so they don't hurt each other and, sometimes, just to keep the peace. "Yes, dear, you look great in that dress." "Of course I don't mind if you go play poker with the guys until 2:00 am." "Mmmm....yes....I came twice. That was so good...."
Then there are the lies we tell that are part of a "training" behavior. If my husband cleans the bathroom, no matter how poorly he does it, I am not going to tell him he did a crappy job because then he'll never want to do it again. Instead, I'll say, "Honey, the bathroom looks great! Thank you!" Then I follow that up as quickly as possible with sex. That's how you get a man to do just about anything you want. He'll be cleaning that bathroom several times a week and, with all that practice, he'll get pretty good at it, and eventually you will be able to honestly say that he did a great job. That's Husband Training 101.
Oops, I hope I didn't give away any wifely secrets. Every now and then I read one of the popular married man game blogs where advice is given to men on how to get their wives to want to have sex with them. It makes me chuckle because most men are amateurs compared to most women when it comes to marital behavior modification. But I digress.....
I was talking about honesty.....
I thought that little lies were ok (like the examples I just gave), but something as big as a friendship with someone should be shared.
I don't believe that any more. Some men just can't imagine that a man could be friends with a woman without trying to get sex. I have learned recently that my husband is one of those men. I know that he gets it honestly, though, because he can't have a relationship with a woman that doesn't turn sexual, so he can't imagine that it's possible at all. And it's making him crazy jealous.
Unfortunately, telling a spouse something that you had been keeping secret for months is a bell you can't un-ring. So, I'm stuck with the fallout for now.
I shared with a friend recently what happened and that I had learned that you just can't be honest with a spouse about things like that, his reply was, "Yeah, stupid." Huh. Apparently men have known this forever and it was only new for me.
************************
Visit Between My Sheets for another fun blog experience!
Why not? I haven't held back because I'm afraid he'd leave me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't. I haven't told him because I know it would hurt him, and that's something I never want to do.
I know some of my pro-fidelity readers/stalkers are thinking, "Well, Kat, if you weren't prowling, then you wouldn't have to hurt him or lie to him." Yes, yes, that's true, but then I would be miserable and frustrated.
But I'm not trying to defend prowling here. I'm talking about the layers of honesty in a marriage.
I decided a while ago to tell Hubby about my friendship with DauntlessD. I was really tired of keeping it a secret when there really was no reason that Hubby couldn't know. After I told him, I felt a great sense of relief. I didn't have to lie about it anymore, and it just felt wrong keeping such an important relationship in my life a secret from my husband.
Well, the relief I felt in the beginning has been replaced with regret. My husband has become very jealous of my relationship with Daunt, even though it's not a sexual relationship. We're working through it and I'm sure we'll find a way to make it work, but it made me think about honesty in a marriage.
Lots of couples tell each other little lies so they don't hurt each other and, sometimes, just to keep the peace. "Yes, dear, you look great in that dress." "Of course I don't mind if you go play poker with the guys until 2:00 am." "Mmmm....yes....I came twice. That was so good...."
Then there are the lies we tell that are part of a "training" behavior. If my husband cleans the bathroom, no matter how poorly he does it, I am not going to tell him he did a crappy job because then he'll never want to do it again. Instead, I'll say, "Honey, the bathroom looks great! Thank you!" Then I follow that up as quickly as possible with sex. That's how you get a man to do just about anything you want. He'll be cleaning that bathroom several times a week and, with all that practice, he'll get pretty good at it, and eventually you will be able to honestly say that he did a great job. That's Husband Training 101.
Oops, I hope I didn't give away any wifely secrets. Every now and then I read one of the popular married man game blogs where advice is given to men on how to get their wives to want to have sex with them. It makes me chuckle because most men are amateurs compared to most women when it comes to marital behavior modification. But I digress.....
I was talking about honesty.....
I thought that little lies were ok (like the examples I just gave), but something as big as a friendship with someone should be shared.
I don't believe that any more. Some men just can't imagine that a man could be friends with a woman without trying to get sex. I have learned recently that my husband is one of those men. I know that he gets it honestly, though, because he can't have a relationship with a woman that doesn't turn sexual, so he can't imagine that it's possible at all. And it's making him crazy jealous.
Unfortunately, telling a spouse something that you had been keeping secret for months is a bell you can't un-ring. So, I'm stuck with the fallout for now.
I shared with a friend recently what happened and that I had learned that you just can't be honest with a spouse about things like that, his reply was, "Yeah, stupid." Huh. Apparently men have known this forever and it was only new for me.
************************
Visit Between My Sheets for another fun blog experience!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Out of Boy Toys?
My pal Ryan Beaumont sent me this picture, knowing that I would appreciate it, and I do! I have several thoughts about this photo:
- I had no idea that McDonald's sold or gave away boy toys. Who knew?
- I have been to McDonald's more than a few times because I have kids (BTW, thanks, Mickey D, for the healthy food options for little people), and I have never seen any boy toys there. In the mornings, I have seen a lot of old men meeting for cheap coffee. In the afternoons, I have seen women there with kids. In the evenings, I have seen teenagers, but I have never seen an acceptable boy toy.
- Sorry for the inconvenience? That's it? Can't I get a rain check or coupon and come back when the boy toys are back in stock? And let's be clear, being without a boy toy is much more than a mere inconvenience. It's somewhere between an emergency and a tragedy, depending on a woman's....uh.... need.
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