Thursday, June 2, 2011

What Happened to the Contender?

You might remember P from several of the hotter posts I've written (The Contender, All Filled Up, and Like Cool Water in a Desert). We shared some amazing sex for a couple of months.  In fact, there was even some talk that he might take the title of The Best Sex of My Life away from J (Don't worry, J, he didn't...but JJ is definitely in the running).

Not only was the sex amazing, but I really liked him.  He was funny, interesting,communicative, extremely bright, and very sweet.  He called me just about every morning to say hello and check in for the day. He was great.

So, what happened to him?

The last time I was with him, the sex was awesome, as always.  The last time I spoke with him, we were making plans for another hook-up the following week after he got back from a business trip. The last time we chatted online, it was light and fun, and he ended the conversation with, "Can't wait to see you again...soon."

So, what happened?

I have no idea.  He simply disappeared. One of my friends calls it "radio silence" when someone just stops communicating completely. After that last chat session online, there were no more phone calls, emails, chat sessions, voice mails, or text messages. My calls, emails, voice mails, and text messages went un-returned. Even the mischief phone that he got just for me hasn't been answered again.

Of course, I didn't keep attempting communication for very long (I'm no stalker), but I'm still puzzled to this day. What the heck happened to him?  For a few weeks, I scanned local newspapers, hoping I wouldn't find anything (like an obituary, God forbid).  Nothing.

Months later, when I'm chatting with Cara and I write, "Guess what?," she still replies, "You heard from P!!!?" My answer is always the same - "No. Nothing."

I don't know if I will ever hear from him again.

Maybe his wife caught him and he's under lock and key.  Maybe a tragedy struck his family. Maybe he just woke up one day and was tired of me.  Maybe he became seriously ill or was in a car accident. I will probably never know.

It's rare that someone vanishes into thin air like that when everything is gong well in our prowling relationship. Usually, there is some sign that something is wrong, or if wifey starts suspecting something, I'll at least get a cryptic message saying something like, "Wife knows something.  Can't talk anymore." Heck, I'd even be good with "I'm ok, but leave me alone" just so I would know he's not dead.

But sometimes all we get is the silence, and we have to learn to live with it.  Oh, I could go to his place of business or try some more intrusive measures to try to find him and learn what happened, but I consider that to be crossing the line.  I ask myself how far I would want a fuck buddy to go to contact me if I stopped communicating and I apply that limit to myself.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not sitting around pining for P, devastated that he's gone.  Sure, I miss him, but from day one I knew it would end at some point, and I'm 100% happy with the honey in my life right now. Still, I enjoy the fun memories, and every now and then I'll write up some of them to share with you.


BenSmarty said...

Kat, you're definitely one of the few I've read who would let P go without another word. Just curious... why do think most women go that extra mile for closure? --S

Kat said...

That's a great question. I'm not entirely sure, but I think curiosity has something to do with it. So does insecurity. I think many just have to know that it wasn't anything they said or did. It's really hard just to walk away without closure, but like I wrote, I wouldn't want anyone hunting me down (especially if it was just a fuck buddy relationship) so I can't, in good conscience, do that to anyone else.

Also, I think that many women (not all, of course) can't let go of the romantic notion of a relationship. My relationship with P was about sex. There was some friendship, too, but it was mostly sex. We both knew we weren't going to be lovers forever. I think many women need to hold onto the illusion that Mr. Right Now may turn into Mr. Right....and Mr. Right is worth fighting for. Mr. Right Now needs to be released when it's time for him to go, regardless of who makes that decision or why that decision is made.

Anonymous said...

I'm a guy that likes closure - and agree it has something about curiosity and insecurity, and wanting to know "why"? Which I guess is about control in some ways.

Radio Silence...makes me feel better it happens to all of us!

Anonymous said...

You should call his work and ask to speak to him and hang up when they transfer to see if he is ok and still works there.